The Decade
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Dear Enjolras,
To betray, to hurt another, I believe that is in human nature.
I believe there's nothing you-or anyone-can do to stop it.
"We are not telling Amelie, that's where I draw the line Gav." The two are running through the same argument for the nth time while entering Musichetta's business. Cosette's job is to distract Musichetta with plans for Eponine and Enjolras; she is like their mole. She will be getting insight into what they, the enemy, are planning to do.
"But-" Gavroche starts in protest, ready to repeat, once more, what he has been telling his sister since yesterday.
"What she doesn't know won't hurt her!" Eponine remains adamant on her stand in this.
"She deserves to know!" Gavroche cries, throwing up his hands in protest.
His sister just sighs and grabs a seat. She can't win this and she knows it, "Since when did you become a decent human? I'm pretty sure our parents did not raise us right."
Gav simply leans across the table and takes his sister's hands in his, "No, but you did."
They lock eyes, silently running through the argument once more, before Eponine backs out, "Alright, how about this? Gabe decides. She is his girlfriend after all."
Gavroche grins, "Deal."
Dear Gabe,
Will we ever meet again?
Or is this it for us?
Such a sad ending to our story, is it not?
What a life we might have known.
Amelie hates lying to Enjolras. She absolutely loathes it; but she did it anyway.
It's a small lie, she rationalizes, it's little. It's not like she's going out to kill people or cheat on him or anything. She is merely following him to a meeting.
She is simply making sure that he is not cheating on her with this Eponine Thenardier.
Enjolras doesn't know that she saw the text yesterday, asking him to meet this girl at the Musain at five and as long as he's not doing anything with her, then he will never know about this little white lie.
She can't stand the thought of losing him, which is why she made up that stupid lie about going to dinner with a co-worker.
She believes that the ends will justify the means in this case.
So she shows up at the Musain, disguised in sunglasses and a brunette wig masking her blonde hair, half an hour before he's supposed to meet this woman.
She watches people come and go, watches a little girl drop her muffin, watches men hit on women, watches a girl spill her coffee on a tired looking old man who spends the next five minutes screaming at her. She watches people she doesn't know, and no one pays any mind to her.
Five minutes before the appointed meeting time, she is wondering who in the shop is Eponine Thenardier, if the girl has shown up yet or if she will be late.
She sees Gavroche enter with a brunette who turns out to be Sebastian's preschool teacher. Isn't her name Eponine? For a moment, Amelie panics; she can't be the same girl. This mystery girl can't be Sebastian's teacher, she just can't! She's wondering how she could have missed that when she remembers that she really can't be Thenardier because her last name is Jondrette.
The relief she feels is so overwhelming that she closes her eyes to really let it sink in.
She watches as Gavroche takes her hands in his and they look pretty serious. Perhaps they're dating?
It was silly to think that Ms. Jondrette could be having an affair with Enjolras, the woman is dignified.
Three more minutes
In the next few moments she has completely cleared Eponine Jondrette of any false-doings.
One more minute.
She's scared, scared of losing him. She knows if he ever finds out about her, for lack of a better word, stalking him it could be the end of their relationship but she will be careful. He won't find out.
After all, what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
Or her.
Dear Gabe,
Sometimes I forget that I'm not invisible.
That people can see me, if they wanted to.
I forget that they don't want to see the scum of the streets because all of you always made me feel noticed, like I was somebody. Somebody important.
I don't blame them, though, I wouldn't want to see me either.
Enjolras enters the small café as the clock strikes five. He had planned on showing up early but the babysitter had been late and he had had no choice but to stay with Sebastian until she showed up.
It takes him all of thirty seconds to spot Eponine and as he walks over, he can feel his stress melt away as a smile takes its place. He hasn't seen her for a few days and he's surprised how much of an impact that's had on him since until recently he hadn't seen her for most of ten years.
However, when he notices that she and Gavroche are sitting at a table near the entrance, looking very solemn his stomach does a painful flip and he's full of fear.
"Hey. Did you want to talk to me?" He asks, sitting at the table, nervous, knowing he probably looks very confused but he's worried too, the way that they're looking at him, is not a good way. He turns to Eponine, grabs her hands and tugs her towards him, "You aren't leaving again are you?" Suddenly he's overcome with the fear that he will never see her again.
For a moment he's transported back to that day in the hospital where his friends told him that he would never hear from Eponine again. That she was gone. Forever.
"No," She answers and he can hear the surprise in her voice. In her expression, he can see that the thought had never crossed her mind and the relief he feels, it's so huge that it overwhelms him.
Eponine chews on her lips as she takes in Gabriel Enjolras; all of a sudden she's having second thoughts because this is a man she lost years ago.
What was that saying? Something about if you love someone to let them be and if it was meant to be they would come back? She can't really remember it now but Gabe came back. Isn't that a sign? Maybe she should let Combeferre and Courfeyrac ruin his relationship with Amelie. She deserves to be happy too! Doesn't she?
She sees Gavroche looking at her and she knows that he knows about her traitorous thoughts. She wants to tell him that everyone is selfish, that the world is cruel and you have to reach out and grab what you want while you still can.
She wants to tell him that she let Gabe slip through her fingers before, that she's not going to pass on this second chance because second chances are rare.
Yet something holds her back and that something asks her if she wants to be like her parents because that is what she would be like if she butt in and let his relationship with a nice woman that he probably loves get ripped to shreds, would she not? If she took this chance and snatched Gabe up and out of Amelie's hands, out of Sebastian's hands, she would never be able to live with herself, so she takes a deep breath and begins, from the beginning.
"There's something I've been meaning to tell you. There are a lot of things actually."
"Okay," Gabe says, curiously, cautiously.
"First off, our name, my last name, and Gav's and Azelma's, we changed them, you see. It is now, or has been for a while actually, officially Jondrette." Her nerves are showing and she has to clench her hands into fists to keep them from shaking.
After dropping this bomb, she holds her breath and watches Gabe's mind work, watches as he realizes who she is and she waits for him to ask the questions, ask if she is Sebastian's teacher, if she knows about him and Amelie because she can see the knowledge in his eyes, but he doesn't say anything. Not a word.
That disappoints her more than it should.
Why doesn't he tell her about Amelie? Does he really think she doesn't know?
Fine. If he wants to play games, then she will play his little game. She is more equipped for this than he knows, "I've been in touch with a few of our old friends, sometimes Courf and 'Ferre since they were close with Gav, but mostly Marius and Cosette. Yesterday, Cosette and Gavroche told me something very interesting about our dear friends Courfeyrac and Combeferre..."
Dear Gabriel,
In my mind you were always perfect.
But you aren't perfect, are you?
You're just as human as I am.
Amelie watches the way Enjolras lights up when he sees Eponine, the way he looks at the other woman is the way she wishes he would look at her. So it is the teacher. She never would have guessed, even if the evidence was right in front of her.
She wonders, briefly, about the name on his phone, perhaps he'd done it to disguise Eponine's true identity from her just in case, but she is caught up at the way he gazes at Eponine, once more, before she can think about it much more.
When he looks at Eponine, his gaze is full of love and adoration. He would die for this woman in a heartbeat if asked. When he looks at her, his gaze is full of warmth, yes, and love, but it's nothing like this.
She isn't stupid. She knows that she is way more invested in her relationship with Enjolras than he has ever been. She has just been suffering from self-inflicted blindness, hiding the truth from herself because she wanted to see what wasn't there.
A possibility.
A future of a happy family, one that isn't broken.
How can she even think of that future now? How can she compare with Eponine? Even from across the room, she can see Enjolras loves Eponine.
He loves that woman more than he has ever loved her.
Maybe he looked at her like that, in the beginning, when they were both broken and needed help getting up and she was his light in the darkness.
Not now, though, and she knows that this was a long time coming, naively believing that maybe he would grow closer to her, instead of apart.
What did she do? Was she too pushy? Did she expect too much of him?
Her moving to Paris with him was supposed to bring them closer, not rip them farther apart.
Is she crazy for wanting to live her life with Enjolras even after seeing this? Is she crazy for believe there's still hope? Is she crazy for wanting to cope?
Is she crazy?
Dear Enjolras,
I saw my father today.
I now have the distinct pleasure of stating that I spit in the underworld's most notorious criminal's face and got away unscathed.
Okay, mostly unscathed.
Okay, I'm writing to you while in the hospital waiting for my discharge papers, but relax, I've had worse injuries.
It was totally reckless, I know, but in the end, it was worth it.
Now he knows that he no longer owns me.
Eponine Thenardier is her own property.
Seeing the two of them together, she feels vulnerable in a way she hasn't felt in a long time. Not since she'd become a single mother with a boyfriend who vanished as quickly as Cinderella had when the clock struck twelve when he heard she was pregnant.
Her parents had been right, she can do nothing correctly.
Not then, not now.
He'd slept the summer by her side, he'd filled her days with endless wonder, he gave her promises of forever, yet he was gone when Autumn came.
Sometimes she dreamed that he would come back and whisk her away-yes she loved Enjolras but it was nice to live in that fantasy world where everything had been perfect from the start. Besides, it was obvious now that he was not, in fact her prince.
No matter how much she wanted him to fit into that mold.
Slowly, as she sits there, watching him become more and more drawn into what Eponine is saying, she reminds herself that she may just be overreacting. It's not a date. Gavroche is there. Gavroche might be dating Eponine. Enjolras might just be a friend of theirs.
It seems like a valid option. Right?
This could all be in her head, her world could still be intact.
She takes a few deep breaths and realizes that she will never go down without a fight. If there's something that she has learned it is that she loves who she loves and she will fight for those she loves.
Maybe she is going crazy, she has never been the possessive kind before, has never thought like this before, but she will fight for Enjolras if she has to.
Dear Enjolras,
How do you know what is right and what is wrong?
In the end, Enjolras goes home, filled with information on what Courfeyrac and Combeferre are planning to do with his life and he is ready to plan a counter attack. This is his life and they have no right to meddle in it. He regrets not sending the boys to the hospital when he had the chance, Gav really had the right idea in mind.
He arrives back at the apartment at about six-thirty and pays the sitter her money. He still has about half an hour before Amelie is due to come home but he is certain that he is not going to get her involved in this. She doesn't need to get hurt.
Some part of him, however, whispers that he is doing this more to keep his girlfriend away from Eponine than to keep her from getting hurt. They've already met, yes, but there is no way that they know what role the other plays in his life and until he's more sure about how he feels, it's going to stay that way.
"Can we watch cartoons?" Sebastian asks, tugging at his pant leg and he smiles at the boy.
"Sure, buddy," He says, finding the right channel for the little boy who is instantly entranced. The kid leans against him as he watches and falls asleep within ten minutes. The sitter must have really worn him out, he muses as he runs his hand through the boys blonde curls that are so like his own.
Sebastian really could be his kid. No one would question it. With Amelie, he could keep this family, be a part of this and being a part of a functional family is all he has ever wanted. He loves Sebastian, yes, he loves Amelie, yes.
The question, however, is does he love Eponine more than he loves these two? Can he be there for them, can he be Sebastian's father when Eponine is in the picture?
It's that, that he is unsure of.
"Hey," Amelie calls as she walks in, effectively breaking him out of his thoughts.
"Hey," Enjolras greets turning his head around to watch her as she approaches, "You are five whole minutes early," He states as she leans against the sofa, observing her two favorite boys.
He leans up for a kiss and she drops one on his lips, "Yes, you should feel honored," She says, leaning down and running her own hand through Sebastian's hair, unknowingly mimicking Enjolras' previous actions.
"Oh, I do," He says it with a wink but he feels like a fraud all the same and she reads the guilt on his face, but says nothing. She is just as guilty, is she not? She watched him have that meeting with Eponine and Gavroche. She watched him never once be intimate with the girl, never once act on his feelings. Does it make her a bad person to not react, to pretend like that meeting didn't happen, that she didn't see what she did, she wonders to herself and she can't come up with an answer.
"He's all tired out, huh?"
"Yeah, I'll put him to bed," Enjolras says, getting up, but she stops him.
"No. Sit. Stay."
"What? Am I a dog now?" He jokes.
She shakes her head, "No, I just want to put him to bed tonight. I missed him," She says, picking him up. "Tomorrow I'm going to have a talk with his teacher," She tells her boyfriend when she comes back.
"You are?" He asks, trying to keep the panic out of his face and voice, he thinks he has succeeded when she simply nods and continues.
"Yeah, I want to see how he's fitting in, if he's making friends. Just a follow up."
"Can I come?" He asks, hoping for her to say yes but dreading it at the same time.
"You don't have to. My car's all nice and fixed up," She says with a forced smile, "No more playing chauffer."
"Right," He says, "Well I'd better go."
"Goodnight," She says.
At the door she kisses him, and she doesn't ask him to spend the night like she usually does.
Dear Enjolras,
Secrets are no fun.
No fun at all.
Courfeyrac watches as Combeferre turns their kitchen into a battle station. He has got little model soldiers and a ruler that has injured Courfeyrac six times now.
It's scary really.
He is thankful when the phone rings and he gets to escape 'Ferre's craze for a few moments.
Musichetta is on the other line.
"Help me," He whispers into the receiver.
"What?" She asks, confused.
"Help me," He whispers again, a little louder, "Combeferre has gone crazy."
"He's always been crazy. Listen, I don't think we can trust Cosette. Tell him that, okay? I think she's Team Gav."
"Why do you think that?"
"Just a feeling," Musichetta replies. She's usually right about these things so he doesn't question her. Instead, Courf groans, this is exactly what he needs for another ruler smack to the face. His poor cheek will be red for days.
"I hate you." Is his response and he hangs up before she has a chance to say anything else.
Steeling himself, he heads towards the kitchen before realizing he's really close to the door and maybe he can escape for a little while.
He takes all of two steps.
"If I were you, Courf, I wouldn't try anything."
"Yes Master," He mumbles, heading back to the kitchen. Now he's going to get two smacks with the ruler. It would have been worth it if he'd gotten out for a little while.
"I heard that!" 'Ferre calls.
Fresh air.
Freedom.
Lost to him now.
He cries a little (not really, he's tough, tough men don't cry; okay they cry a little but he doesn't and that's the point, there was just something in his eye).
Dear Enjolras,
Sometimes I am just thoroughly confused.
Grantaire groans, "It's only Wednesday. We don't have to be here for another two days!"
"Stop protesting," Jehan argues back, trying get his overstuffed suitcase into the room, "We're already here."
"We could stay here," R says suggestively, "It's not like Courfeyrac and Combeferre are expecting us to be here until Friday."
"Just help me get this stupid suitcase in, will you?"
"I told you not to bring so much stuff!" Grantaire exclaims, from the other side of the door.
"We don't know how long we're going to be here!" Jehan argues, while he gives the suitcase a final tug, and topples to the ground.
Grantaire almost follows suit but he's able to find his balance at the last moment. He looks down at his boyfriend and sighs before helping him up, "Well it's not going to be for a whole month, I can tell you that."
Dear Enjolras,
If you could go back to any moment in time, which would you choose and why?
Sorry.
Essay question.
I'm having a difficult time deciding.
"Hey guys, this is Eponine, she's going to hang out with us from now on, 'kay?" The boy, Gabe, drags her over to meet his friends. He says he's her friend now, that they will be her friends now too.
She's never had friends before and she's afraid of getting rejected by them. They all look fed and loved and almost all of them are boys, but she is the only one that looks ragged.
That is, until another boy comes up the hill, "Who's this?" He asks, jabbing a finger at her.
She takes a step back because although he is as ragged as she is, he looks scary and he could hurt her, and she doesn't want to fight him. She just wants friends.
He's probably in the gang that opposes her father; she's never seen him before. Quickly, before he can hurt her, she steps back behind Gabe and tries to hide from a boy who has already seen her.
"That's Eponine," Another boy says, kicking the snow at his feet, "She's going to be our friend now. Enjolras said so." Later, she will know this boy to be Marius.
She looks at the blonde boy standing in front of her. Enjolras? Didn't he say his name was Gabe?
She tugs on his coat sleeve, to ask him what his name really is. He only manages to turn half-way before the other boy eyes her and starts laughing, "Really Enjolras?" He questions, "Of all the street rats you could have picked, of all the Eponines, you picked that one?"
"What's wrong with this one?" Gabe or Enjolras asks, shoving the other boy down.
He gets soaked and even though he's being mean, he's as prepared for the cold as she is and that is not at all. Both of them are in rags with threadbare coats that offer absolutely no protection and she knows how it feels to be shoved into the snow, of staying wet for hours, so cold that you start to lose feeling in your body parts.
That's why, although she's scared of him, she goes to help him up, and surprisingly, he lets her, and even thanks her, before turning back to the blonde boy whose name she is still unsure of, "The only thing wrong with her is that she can kick all of our butts. Well that and her dad will probably kill me."
"Why?" She isn't sure which boy speaks this time, but she's pretty sure it's the one with the glasses, the one she will later know as Combeferre.
"Because I was born on the wrong side of the streets."
The other boys don't get it, they wouldn't of course, people who aren't on the streets don't understand their ways.
"You were born on enemy turf," She says, and it's the first words she's spoken since meeting up with the blonde boy earlier.
"Yeah," He says, shivering, trying to get the snow off of him.
"My dad doesn't know I'm here. I snuck away," She bites her lip before continuing, "Just bow your head towards him and he'll leave you alone."
The boy nods, wide-eyed, "You know, you don't look like the princess of the scum."
"What's the princess of the scum supposed to look like?" She demands, offended, she places her hands on her hips like she has seen her mother do when she's berating her children.
"I don't know. Beautiful, I guess," He says.
"Are you calling me ugly?"
"Maybe I am," He says with a smirk, and this time she is the one to shove him, just hard enough to make him stumble.
"Well it takes one to know one!"
He shoves her back and then gives her a full out grin, "I'm Grantaire, but you, sweetheart can call me R." She giggles at the line and he winks at her, "You and me, we're going to get along just fine."
That night, Eponine Thenardier falls asleep completely smitten with R and she's proud of herself for it. She could have fallen for one of the bourgeois rich boys in the group, but she fell for someone she actually has a chance with.
Someone who is just as insignificant as her.
Someone who won't break her heart.
Sorry for the late chapter guys, I've just had issues putting what I want in words. I rewrote this chapter like seven times and it still sucks.
Okay, opinion time: Should I have the next chapter be flashback to the past with present day stuff (kind of like this one, only more past will be included) or just a really long chapter all in flashbacks?
I'm not sure which way I want to go...
But I promise, that chapter is going to come out faster than this one!
Thank you to all who reviewed/favorited/followed!