Sexy. Lil. Emo accidentally ended up editing this chapter too. I accidentally own her my life for it! Thank you darling. All accidentally remaining mistakes are mine!

Chapter Two – Headstrong and Wrong

33 hours earlier.

Harry roamed endless circles in his room.

Should he do it? Should he go to the only person, who would certainly be able to help him?

He looked at the little bottle in his hand. If this indeed was, what he thought it was… It would be a miracle. He hadn't heard of anyone who was able to make this potion properly, maybe only… Snape. Yes, if anyone, surely Snape could make it. But that would mean… That would mean he also could tell if this one single bottle contained that particular potion or not. He could be the only person, who could help Harry out with this…

Harry stopped and read the fading black ink on the parchment again.

Arbitrium Liberum.

He closed his fingers tightly around the bottle and started walking around again. He wasn't afraid of Snape anymore, was he? No he wasn't, they were colleagues after all. Then why the hell didn't he just go and ask him, instead of suffering here with all his doubts?

That was right. He would just go there and…

No. He stopped again. They weren't really close at least they weren't friends or anything. Well they didn't hate each other but still…And it was almost nine o'clock at night and he was sure Snape had more important things to do than… Wait a sec… More important things than this one potion? This one tiny bottle that could cause battles and end worlds? No way, Snape had anything more important than that.

Harry rushed out from his room.

o.O.o

Severus was lying on his settee with a book in his hand. The book was brilliant. Moreover, extremely stunning with all the murders and twists in it. He loved the book. He always read this novel when something bothered him and he couldn't sleep or just needed to stop his thoughts from wandering around one certain topic. With a carmine red glass of Merlot in his hand, he stared at the fireplace. This time, his favourite book was absolutely helpless.

One thing, a person actually, didn't let him enjoy his carefree moments; that face showing up in his mind every second, leaving him partly angry afterward. His other self was… what was it actually? Not disgusted surely, this feeling was far from disgust, however for years he wanted (hoped?) to think it was. But no, not even similar. Now, when he lived alongside that man as co-workers, met him day after day, he started realizing that is wasn't disgust or hate he felt for him but something else, but he didn't dare search deeper inside his cold heart to find the solution, afraid of what he might find there.

Interesting, he thought, looking into the dancing flames. He hated the fact that he didn't hate him. How twisted his mind was, really? Why couldn't he just accept that he wasn't feeling anything negative towards that man… Okay, that wasn't actually true… He still did … did feel how, exactly?

He stood up, his glass still in his hand, and he stepped closer to the warm fire.

He had to come clean with his emotions, or whatever these were… This wasn't normal, trying to skip away every time Potter entered the same room that as he was in. Even Minerva noticed the change in his demeanour. He was a grown man and he won't avoid avoiding one of his old students, not even if the mentioned student was Harry Potter. He just had to be civil with the man. They could have a… chat sometimes about the students or the classes for example. It wouldn't hurt either of them.

He couldn't stop watching the hypnotizing fire as he leaned against the sill of the fireplace. He stared at how the flames consumed the pile of wood. He forced his eyes shut as the heat of the fire burned his gaze. He swallowed the last of the Merlot and was about to pour some more when he heard a hesitant knock on his door.

"Enter." He said coldly, feeling no want for company.

His door opened and the voice that spoke from behind him made his heart skip a beat.

"How is it, that with one word you can make me feel like that first year student I once was? My legs are shaking and I'm sweating as if I just did something wrong or simply came five minutes late to your class…" Potter murmured as he stepped into the middle of the room, letting the door close behind him.

"I assume because you are still like that first year student…" Severus grunted, turning around, looking into the eyes that haunted him in his dreams. When he saw Potter's face darken slightly, he reminded himself that a moment ago, he had wanted to be civil with this man. "Or maybe it is my charm that makes this happen to you, Potter."

"Definitely your charm, Snape." Potter nodded.

"Sit." Severus pointed towards the comfortable armchair and sofa. "How can I be in your assistance at this late hour? I assume you are not here for some late night chat about the good old days and my charm, are you?"

"Uh, no." Potter said, dropping himself to one of the armchairs. "I need your help."

Severus raised his eyebrow. "Wine?" he asked as he sat down on the settee. When Potter nodded, he waved his wand and another glass appeared. "So, what do you need my help with?" He asked reaching the glass half full of wine to the other wizard. He was satisfied with himself as he didn't even comment loudly about how the great Harry Potter needed his help. No matter how much he wanted to.

Potter took the glass and eyed it for a second then watched Severus for another long one.

"It is not my intention to poison you." Anymore. He added, sipping his own wine.

Harry laughed. "That didn't even occur to me. It's just…" Harry knew it was a bit stupid and maybe even childish but that was his ex-Potions teacher that he wanted to share a glass of wine. The same Potions teacher who was now his colleague and for whom he felt several disturbing emotions from fear to attraction. That of course was a secret, which he only dared admit to himself when he was alone and over a glass of brandy. "We've never had a drink together before…" He mumbled then.

"I can recall an occasion held because a teenage boy succeeded in winning over a dark lord or something to the like." Snape sneered at him. "You were standing beside me with a glass of Champaign in your hand."

Harry remembered that ball. It was really fancy and elegant and he wanted nothing else than to just be with his friends, alone. Someone had pushed a glass into his hand and tossed him next to Snape. A photo was taken of them, as the heroes of the war, and then he was left there with Snape.

"I meant as just the two of us, not with a hundred other people lurking around." He smiled. "And by the way, I don't remember you drinking that sparkling wine."

"Neither did you."

"After you left me there Hermione grabbed it, murmured something about 'being too young' and dragged me out of that horrible place. Interesting, I was grown up enough to battle with Voldemort and win that battle, but was too young to drink alcohol… Anyway we went to the Weasley's and had a nice dinner, spent the night, talking and having fun. It'd have been good if you were there too." Harry added almost inaudibly.

"Well, you can drink now; being an adult has some benefits after all." Severus left the comment unnoticed though it had surprised him.

"Where did you go?" Harry forced the subject to continue. Drinking into the fine wine he let his gaze wander on the other man's face.

"I had my godson still lying unconscious in St. Mungo." Snape answered.

"Draco is lucky to have you as his godfather." Harry leaned back, actually feeling comfortable and enjoying the conversation.

"Do not think that much of me Potter; I am not the person who enjoys parties anyway…"

They sat quietly for a couple of minutes enjoying the cool wine and the calming sound of the blazing fire. For the first time in his life, Harry didn't feel as though the atmosphere was awkward while sitting with Snape in the same room in silence. Until…

"Am I mistaken in thinking that you had an urgent matter you needed help with?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"Oh shit," Harry sat up right away. "I almost forget."

Severus huffed, watching the man fish something out from his pocked.

"Please, take a look at this." Harry handed him the little vial. Snape gave him his glass as he took the vial and stood up with it.

Severus watched the little blue glass in his hand. He read the two words in the yellowing parchment once, then twice, then for a third time before he looked at Potter.

"What is this?"

"That's exactly what I want your help with. That can't be it, can it?"

"Impossible." Severus read the potion's name again then studied the glass. "Did you make it?"

"You're kidding right?" Harry laughed out loud.

"You are the most powerful wizard in the world, Potter. Don't play the innocent." Severus sneered.

"Yeah maybe, but we're talking about Potions here. You were my Potions teacher for six years and you still needed to ask that question?"

"I remember you were quite good during that one semester when you didn't have an evil git pissing you off every lesson."

"You're not a git, though I don't deny the evil part. And that year…" Harry laughed again, "I used your old school book. I was so good because I followed your recipes not what old Slughorn told me."

"You did what?" Severus cried, forgetting about the little treasure in his palm.

"Used your Potions book. It was full of your notes. I found it pretty useful, you know, Mr. Half-Blood Prince." Harry smirked.

Severus' heart missed a beat then went on faster. Only one person knew about that name and he hadn't heard it since he was a teen. Now it was coming of the mouth of Harry Potter. The world must be ending.

"How…?"

"Only after we started the sixth year did we, that's Ron and me, find out that we could go to Potions class as you were not the one teaching it. But we didn't have books. We used the ones that were in the storeroom. Ron got a normal one. I got yours. I realized it was a treasure right after the first lesson when I managed the make the Draught of Living Death so perfectly, Horatius gave me a vial of Felix Felicis. Geez, you saved my life so many times."

Severus was lost in his thoughts but that last sentence made him snap back.

"Where did that come from?" He asked, actually curious what Potter meant by that. "I didn't…"

"You serious?" Harry cut in standing up. "I owe my life to you many more time than I do to anyone else! I cannot even count how many times you saved me…"

"Explain."

"It never got to you, did it? You saved me for the first time when I was in my first year. Remember? Quidditch match, crazy broomstick, even crazier teacher who was trying to shake me off of it? You even supervised the next game!"

"Yes, I get that one. And that was the only time I saved you."

"Sure." Harry laughed darkly." Second year, you taught us how to duel."

"Oh come on, you cannot say I saved your life with that!" Severus snapped.

"I'm not finished yet." Harry said and stepped a bit closer, while placing their glasses on the sill of the fireplace. "You taught us how to duel and you taught me the one spell that saved my life two years later in a dark graveyard."

"Potter, you cannot be serious; that is such a basic spell. You would have come across it in a lesson sooner or later anyways. You can't be grateful to me for it."

"Listen, when I was there, standing in front of Voldemort, I already knew several much more serious spells but then your face came into my mind as you cast 'expelliarmus' at Lockhart. It did save my life, Snape."

"Potter…" Severus started but was cut off again as Harry went on mercilessly.

"And then, during the third year, I chased away a hundred dementors then bravely collapsed next to my godfather and friend. The dementors could have come back any time. Who brought us back to the castle? You. You can deny it any way you want but you were always there to help me out when I needed it. Fifth year, it was Occlumency, sixth year the book, after that… do you really want me to go over what you did during the war and at the final battle? You kept this school in one piece. You protected my friends here and you…

"Enough!" Severus shouted. Somehow all this praise made him feel even colder and he hated himself even more. "You forget one thing, Potter, one thing that will haunt me my whole life."

Harry knew what was coming.

"Everything happened because of me. Did you forget that you had to be The Chosen One because of what I did? Did you forget that your parents, your mother, is dead because of me?" Severus yelled, angry and uncontrolled at the one person who might understand him. The pain burning in his veins felt like poison, making his stomach and heart clench.

"I did not forget," Harry said quietly, placing a hand on Severus' arm, "I forgave. I forgave you long ago for choosing the Dark Side in the very past, way before my parents died, because that was your fault only. Everything else was Voldemort's fault not yours, and you should realize that already. Don't forget that I saw your pain. I know exactly how you felt and still feel. I lost several friends during the war and for months I blamed myself. Then a man came and placed a hand on my head while I was crying, alone in my dead godfather's house, and said two words. You remember what it was?" Harry asked hoping, his fingers tightening on Severus' arm.

"Idiot boy." Of course Severus remembered, how could he forget the first moment he felt actual warmness towards the boy he had loathed in the past? Back then he had let the boy cling on to him as he sobbed desperately, sighing the names of those he had lost; Lily and James, Sirius and Remus, Fred, Tonks, and so many else had fallen for the good cause. Severus had been beside him, fingers sliding in the black hair until Harry had stopped crying. Severus had brought Harry back to the Weasley's and they never talked about what had happened in Grimmauld Place. The next time they had met, they shared an anxious moment, and then everything went back to normal; they were simply cold towards the other again.

"Exactly." Harry nodded with a shy smile in the corner of his mouth. His hand slid up over Severus shoulder as he went on. "You don't need me of all people to call you an idiot, but I will if you don't stop this madness. Don't blame yourself; if you want to blame someone, let it be Voldemort. He was the only reason this whole war started, he and his greed for power. Not you, not me, not anyone else can be blamed- just him. You told me this, remember? Why don't you take your own advice? It's good advice, believe me. It saved my life. You saved my life once again. Over and over through seven years, you were the one who helped me, though sometimes you didn't even know about it. Like with the book. If I didn't use that book, I'd surely not have won Felix. If I didn't win Felix, no way would I have gotten that memory I needed from Horatius, not to mention that Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Neville and Luna would be already dead. If I didn't get the memory, we wouldn't know how many horcruxes there were. I would be still out there, searching; Voldemort would be still living and killing those I love. Do you want me to go on?" Harry finished, his gaze fixed in the endless tunnel of Snape's eyes.

Severus backed away from the touch. He didn't know what to say or what to do. This was too much. These words, coming from Potter… How could he blame anyone else other than himself for what he did?

Potter's piercing eyes irritated him so he looked down at his clenched fist. He realized only then that they had completely forgotten about the potion.

"It can't be Arbitrium Liberum. No one was able to make it in the last century, not even me. Now leave me alone." He streatched his hand towards Potter who seemed a bit affronted.

Harry didn't react for a couple of seconds.

So we just won't talk about this too. Great. Feels like a déjà vu.

"It looks old. What if it was made long ago? It would still be effective, wouldn't it?" He asked reaching for his wine. After he was out of this place he was going to drink something much stronger than this wine. Brandy. Brandy would be good.

"Yes, it would, but it's just impossible. It must be a prank. Where did you get it?"

"Minerva. It was in Albus' collection. That's why I think it's possible that…"

"It's not possible, Potter. Not even Albus was able to make this potion."

"Snape listen, he…"

"Can I open it?" Snape asked then suddenly. When Harry nodded after a minute, he pulled out the little cork. He smelled the potion and was surprised that it smelled exactly how it should, according to what the book said at least.

"You do know what Arbitrium Liberum does, don't you?" Severus looked up at Harry over the little bottle.

"The potion of free will. If you drink it willingly, it will make you live without fear for exactly twenty-four hours."

"Details, Potter, details!" Snape snapped and for a moment Harry felt as if he was back in Potions class. "You never had sense for the details. This potion doesn't just take away all your fears, allowing you the ability to touch a spider while you have arachnophobia. It liberates your very soul. It sets free your hidden emotions and makes you act on them if you truly wish for it. More than one battle had started because someone did something reckless under the effects of this potion. But that was a long time ago. I don't know anyone who had ever even seen with a real Arbitrium Liberum. It just cannot be Arbitrium Liberum."

"I admit it's rare, but it doesn't mean it couldn't exist."

"Rare? Are you even listening to me?" Severus flared up. "It is nearly impossible for this to be what you hope for."

"Exactly. Nearly impossible, but not completely impossible." Harry said confidently.

"Why are you always so sure about yourself?" Severus sneered again.

"Snape, listen…" Harry tried.

"No, you listen Potter. I am the Potions Master and I am one hundred percent sure this is just some ineffective liquid and nothing else. Maybe they thought they managed to make the potion correctly and that's why they wrote the name on it but I'm sure it's useless."

"Can't you just test it somehow, use some other potion to see the components or something?" Harry asked almost desperately.

Severus wasn't the man who jumped into things without thinking but now he felt just too reckless and too…everything. All sorts of feelings swirled in him, raging like a hurricane and he only thought about it for a second. But that one second was enough for his stupid mind to make a move and when he realized what he was doing the little vial was at his mouth already.

"Don't drink it!" He heard Potter cry, jumping towards him, trying to stop him but it was too late. He swallowed the sweet liquid like it was life itself.

The world seemed to slow down as he watched Potter's fingers gripping his wrist and pulling it away. The empty vial slid out from his palm and fell to the floor but it didn't break. It shined with a greenish colour as the red flames met with the blue tinted glass.

Potter's body crushed against his and they started falling down. Next to Potter, the glass of wine was also flying towards the floor. First the wine landed, splashing on the carpet like blood then came the glass and the soft rug wasn't enough to lessen the blow, it shattered into a million pieces.

Severus felt gravitation pulling down his body and the pain he was about to feel registered in his mind. His head was going to smack the floor hard, his whole body was about to hit the solid, carpeted floor badly and then another body will collapse over his. It would hurt.

But there was a sudden move and he found himself over Potter in the next moment. Severus managed to slide his hand under Harry's head before they crashed on the floor with a loud thud. He quickly rolled away from Potter who was wincing in pain and stood up, offering a hand towards the still lying man.

"That hurt." Harry groaned as he was trying to move. He motioned Snape to wait for a couple of minutes and just let him be until he could move again.

Snape stood over him patiently, his hand still reaching out waiting. When Harry felt like he wouldn't break a bone by moving, he accepted the hand and let his colleague help him up from the ground.

"Thanks." He said then saw the spilt out wine and broken glass. "Uhh, sorry for that, I'll clea-" He stopped and froze as it came back to him why he threw the glass away. He went on screaming. "WHY the fucking hell did you drink it! How could you be so sure about yourself? You stupid, arrogant, idiot, you!" With every word he poked Snape's chest with a finger. "You could have died! What if there was poison in it, not the Arbitrium Liberum, huh? What if…" His voice faded off as his gaze met with a smile.

"Why the fuck are you smiling now?" He snapped angrily.

"Your concern flatters me." Severus smirked, pushing Potter's index finger away from his chest. "There wasn't a chance that the potion would be venomous. I clearly smelled the unique scent of the bezoar stones, which by the way is one of the main components of the Arbitrium Liberum. I hope you still remember what bezoar stones are used for."

"How could I forget?" Harry hissed, still angry.

"You do not even enquire about my health?" Snape asked with a smirk. Harry simply huffed then turned around and with a flick of his wand he cleaned the rug and made the glass into one piece again. He turned back slowly and looked at the tolerantly waiting Snape.

"How do you feel?" He asked then, anxious and worried. Oh god, he was worried about Severus Snape. He really did need that glass of brandy. The sooner the better.

"Normal!" Snape flared with a satisfied smirk. "I told you it could not possibly be the Arbitrium Liberum. Now get out, I have a book to finish."

"You are insane, Snape. You shouldn't have drunk that thing. You don't know what it will do to you."

"I know exactly what it will do to me. Nothing. A wrongly produced Arbitrium Liberum has absolutely no effects on the human body or mind. Good night, Potter."

"I still think you shouldn't have drunk it." Harry said before leaving the room.

Severus fell into his armchair and accio-ed his book.

There was just one problem. Arbitrium Liberum was a potion that didn't show its effects right after it was consumed but some time later. But Severus fell asleep just a bit too fast to worry about that tiny detail...

TBC