Chapter Five – The Unaccepted Not-Given Apology

Harry jumped off from Oberon before the hippogriff even landed. He marched towards his student with long strides, his black teaching robes billowing behind him. An effect, which currently only made him even angrier as it reminded him of Snape.

His steps banged on the ground loudly. He nailed his gaze to the group of student in the distance and walked with steady steps. He was still incredibly mad at Snape for the irresponsible stunt he just pulled. What on Earth was that idiot-

Snape landed right in front of him and slipped off from Titania. Harry didn't look at him. He strode around the animal and disregarded the crazy professor. He took a deep breath, glad that he was able to stay calm.

"Potter-"

He realized he wasn't calm at all the second Snape said his name. Harry could hear he was smiling.

He spun around almost falling over as his robes twirled around his legs in his vehement movement.

"You!" Harry snarled viscously. "Don't you smile at me like that! Don't you dare!" He shouted, knowing that his students were watching them intently.

"I don't see what your problem is. I knew Titania was there and that she would catch me."

That was the wrong thing to say and for a second even Snape seemed to realize that. Then he leaned against the peacefully scratching animal and folded his arms. He looked up at Harry and smirked, knowing what would come next.

Harry launched himself towards the other professor and almost screamed at him in angry frustration. "You son of a bitch! You could have died! Are you a complete nutjob? Whatever this bloody thing did to you, you're not okay! You absolute asshole! How could you do that?" His voice carried far, even to his students, though Harry did not notice that yet. He only knew that Snape almost died while riding a hippogriff with him. And that for the idiot, this was just a joke.

Snape watched his fingers carelessly then picked some imagined dirt from under his nails.

Harry stopped in front of him, the words flooding out of him unstoppably. "I thought you died, you fucking moron! You could have died! If she's just a second late, do you even comprehend that? How can you be so reckless? Are you so desperate to die? Because you should just say a word; I'm eager to kill you right now!"

"A minute ago, you seemed quite affronted that I almost died." Snape remarked, amused at Harry's rage. He smiled again which just fuelled that rage even more.

"You bloody git! Merlin, you're the worse! My heart stopped there for a second, you bloody fucker! I almost jumped after you! Apologize, you git! I demand an apology for this! You bloody son of a bitch! Argh!"

Harry breathed in and out deeply, trying to calm himself, if not for anything else but because his students were right behind them, watching and listening.

"Are you done?" Snape asked in a bored voice, raising an eyebrow. He looked like a petulant teenager.

Harry's fury was back right away.

"Not yet." Harry said as he fisted his hand and shoved it in Snape's face, wiping off that smirk from his thin lips.

The professor grunted, wiped the blood from his injured lower lip and looked at Harry with burning eyes. He licked the blood from his thumb and the infuriating smirk returned.

"Done?" He asked again.

"Yes." Harry snarled. "Merlin, I hate you so much." He added in a low voice, turning around.

Snape grabbed his arm and shoved him against Titania, who was about to dig out a juicy worm from the ground. Titania let out a disapproving noise when Harry's body collided with her.

So did Harry.

"Good." Snape groaned, holding Harry's arm still tightly between his fingers. "Because I hate you, too." His left hand cupped Harry's neck and the next moment he was kissing Harry wildly.

The kiss was raw and passionate and Harry almost forgot everything as long as that mouth was on his and teeth tore at his lower lip and tongue slid against his own.

Then he heard catcalling, and giggling. He tore himself from the soft lips and pushed Snape away. He looked into the endless black eyes, angrier than ever. For a moment, Severus looked hurt, rejected then the dark eyes turned unreadable again.

"Today, I cannot apologise for this." Snape said, letting go of Potter's arm. "Or anything else. Not that I even want to."

"I wouldn't even accept it." Harry snarled. "You're not in your right mind, Snape. Go to your room until whatever this is wears off."

"It's the Arbitrium. And I go in my chambers on one condition. You come with me, too." Snape was smirking again and it took all of Harry's power not to hit him again.

"Stop this, Snape. This isn't you." Harry moaned, hating himself for wanting to go with the man.

"You know how the potion works, Potter." Severus said, stepping closer.

Harry backed away. "No, I don't. Look at what you've done this morning. Is this really you? Riding and jumping from hippogriffs, dressing like that, kissing me?"

"I have wanted to ride Oberon since I met him in the Forest in my fifth year, Potter. I dress like this when not teaching all the time, you can ask Minerva. Believe me, Potter, I haven't done anything I haven't wanted for a while now. The only difference is that now I don't care about consequences."

"I can't let this go on, Snape."

"Why?"

"Because tomorrow, when you will again care about consequences, guess who will pay for this. Me."

Harry turned around and walked towards his student. He was angry and confused and so goddamn hard it was almost painful. As the children didn't hear the rest of their conversation, they all welcomed him with cheerful laughter and smiled.

Harry straightened his back and looked up at them. He summoned his most menacing look as he whispered in a very deep, very low voice, "If any one of you says anything, comments, or even utters one syllable about what you have witnessed here, I can guarantee, you will be scourging cauldrons with Professor Snape every evening from now to the very last day you will spend in this castle."

"I think Professor Snape will be too busy to supervise detentions." One of the Fable twins murmured to the other. He was quiet, but not quite enough. Harry stalked there and loomed over the boy, who looked intimidated.

"Detention, both of you." Harry sneered evilly. "Professor Hagrid will be waiting for you after dinner."

The two boys nodded, slightly scared and Harry was perfectly aware that he never behaved like this before. "And everyone will write me a three feet long essay on Dementors and how to defeat them by the next lesson, or all of you will be in big trouble."

The students complained everywhere so Harry raised his hand to silence them. "Spare me the whining. You can thank it to the boys here. Class dismissed."

Harry walked hurriedly towards the castle. He looked around but Snape was nowhere. He needed to talk with Minerva right now.

o.O.o

The Headmistress wasn't pleased to see Harry. When Harry Potter appeared in her office, it always meant trouble. It wasn't different this time either.

"Arbitrium Liberum? That's impossible, Harry."

"Minerva, he's acting all weird. I don't know what was in it, but it affected him. We have to do something."

"Right. That is true. We have to bring him back to the castle. And do try to keep it quiet, Harry. He might not care today..."

"But tomorrow he will take our heads for it. Most likely just mine..."

"He only has his own stupidity to thank, Harry, do not worry about that."

It was Hagrid, who found Snape hours later. He was barefoot, feeding the Theastrals. Hagrid knew the rumours about the professor were true, when Snape thanked him for taking such good care of the animals. And for being family for Harry. Snape seemed unnaturally quiet as they walked to his chambers, but when they were inside, he asked Hagrid if he would like a glass of brandy. Hagrid accepted it, slightly suspiciously, however as it turned out it was unnecessarily. They spent the afternoon talking about hippogriffs and the many kinds of beast Hagrid had to take care of in the Forest. He even mentioned Norberta to Snape (who by the time they had arrived to the topic became Severus). When Hagrid came out from him after dinnertime, they even had an agreement about obtaining some rare potion ingredients from those well kept beasts.

Harry only knew this because he had ran into Hagrid while patrolling that night. He went outside to get some fresh air and Hagrid came across his path. He was so deeply in his thoughts about Snape that he almost didn't notice his half-giant friend.

"He's a good fellow, Harry. Don't be too hard on him." Hagrid told him as they stood in front of his Hut.

"You'll see, Hagrid. Tomorrow, he will blame me for everything."

"He told me the story, Harry. He doesn't blame you now, you know." Hagrid shrugged and opened the door. Fangs barked inside. "I even feel sorry for the man."

"Why?"

"Think about it, Harry. If that was really that potion he claims it was, and it brought up his deepest desires... For a man like Professor Snape... I don't know, Harry. Ridding a hippogriff is not such a remarkable thing that you wouldn't want to act on it on a regular day. My fifth years are doing it since I started teaching. What I'm trying to say is that I think Severus has something he really wants but can't get. And everything he did today was about that thing."

Harry's heartbeat quickened as he listened to his friend. "I think I may know what that thing is."

"That's good, Harry. Help him. He's fighting the potion, that's clear. I think if he didn't, the potion would have already made him get what he truly wanted."

Harry nodded, unable to say anything then waved goodbye and walked back towards the castle.

This whole situation was a mess and he couldn't wait for the potion's effect to wear off. It should be soon now.

As he strode on the moonlit grounds an old school owl landed on his shoulders. It held up a leg, indicating the small, rolled up letter it was carrying.

Harry took it, and then reached into his pocket to find some titbit he could offer to the bird. But before he could find anything the owl pecked his shoulder and leaped from it, flying off in search of some mouse probably.

Harry opened the letter and recognised the handwriting right away.

Please, meet me at the Trophy room at eleven.

SS

He folded the letter and put it into his pocket. He decided that he would not be anywhere around the Trophy Room at eleven that night no matter what.

Hence he was absolutely surprised later, when the clock chimed eleven and looking around he was exactly where he didn't want to. He turned around to rush out of the room, but knew it was too late. Somebody spoke in front him.

"I thought you wouldn't come."

"I didn't want to. I am just patrolling."

"And your route took you here at eleven, just as I requested. Of course. How convenient."

"I'm here. What do you want?" Harry asked trying to identify one of the shadows as Snape.

"I promised you earlier today, that if you ride Oberon with me, I'll do my best to fulfil that one special desire of yours. I am a man, who keeps what he promises."

Harry knew exactly when and what Snape had promised. He was almost scared now to look at the shadow that separated from the rest of the darkness.

"What was it exactly?" Severus asked, then he dropped the cloak that covered him. "Oh yes, I remember: Severus Snape, walking among the walls of Hogwarts, wearing nothing but his naked glory." He spoke slowly and moved even slower. Harry found himself mesmerized as he watched the uncovered body that come closer to him. White skin glinted in the middle of the moonlit corridor and Harry didn't know what to do.

"Is this what you wanted?" Snape asked then, drawing a hand in front of his naked body as if presenting a gift.

And what a gift it was. Harry had to gulp heavily not to drool on himself. "It's all I've ever wanted." He admitted quietly.

Snape smiled smugly. "Well... now it is yours to take."

TBC