Jane had never felt this way. She was terrified, she was curious, she was heartbroken, she didn't want to believe what her ears had heard, but she had no reason not to. Loki had said his wife. His wife.
He pulled her down the steps to the dungeon, his adoptive family following close behind, oddly silent.
He went to the back of the chamber holding the cages, and to he stopped. He turned to his left, and looked behind him, though he didn't look at Jane.
"Here. Here she is...mad. Possessed..."
And Jane looked on, finally deigning to glance at the woman behind the glass.
She glowed green, her black hair unkempt, wild even...she eyes were nearly as black as her hair. She was crouching in the far corner, peering over her knees which were held close to her body. She shook in a stupor.
Loki stood in front of the cell, his arms held wide. "Here, Odin. Your final torment! I can never be truly free, as you had proclaimed when Frigga bargained for my release," his arms fell, and he began to pace in front of the glass. "Yes, I'd be released from my cell, but I would be married to the sorcerer's daughter, assuring a peace, however dubious, between the realms, for Ooinn desired a lasting bond with Asgard, and what better way to ensure that than to marry off his violently insane daughter to his loathed Frost Giant son?! Forever your pawn, Odin, I married her, my family, because I was convinced that it was for the best...I married her because I was doing what I was told to do," he breathed. He was insane himself, beyond overwrought. "Yes! And I was promised full restoration of my powers, and freedom to travel, as long as I married her, and as long as I defended Asgard's throne."
"Which you were given, Loki," Odin interrupted.
"At what price? A dangerous sorceress, unable to control her magic, unable to quell her violence, unable to love..." he paused. "And I pick up her messes...I stop the talk among people, I save those whom she attempts to harm..." he swallowed. "But none offer me that same consideration...none will..." he looked at Jane. "And this is what I desire. This small creature, who stands so solemn in front of such horror and despair...and you..." he glanced at his father. "...you shall judge me..." He looked at his mother. "You believed that you had spared me, mother, but you had condemned me to the worst type of prison...for at least in that cell I never would have known the pain of loss, the smirk of love...the taste of freedom, only to have it ripped from me like everything else..." and tears fell from his eyes.
"Oh, Loki..." Frigga began.
"Don't!" he screamed. "Do not offer me consolatory idioms nor words which fall so uselessly from you lips...they land in a puddle on the floor, unable to act, without power to ease, without any purpose other than to make yourself feel better," he breathed.
And Jane swallowed.
She looked at Sigyn, she appeared to be terrified. Death would be preferable to what Jane saw in that cage.
She had seen and heard enough. She turned to leave.
And then then glass shattered, and someone screamed, and Jane heard Loki yelling in another tongue, but Jane didn't turn to see. She assumed he was uttering a spell to calm the sorceress.
She went to her room and washed her face.
Jane sat in the chair before the hearth, and after some time, realized that tears had been falling steadily from her eyes.
She had no idea what she was going to do.
Did she love him? Perhaps more than ever.
Did that mean that she could live here with him? Maybe.
Could she leave with him...as he had suggested? She didn't know, would she still be the other woman?
No...because that would make her a whore, and she wasn't that.
But her heart broke, and her face changed, for now she understood the acuity of his pain, for she felt it, too. She was there with him, in the dungeon, subduing his wife, and trying to listen to his false parents spew their false promises and declarations and apologies.
Never would she have dreamed that this was the source of his melancholy.
Perhaps she didn't know him, after all.
She had been living in a shadow of a dream...only knowing partial truths...only feeling a base emotion, and she felt like none of it was real.
She needed some water. Her tears had drained her of her fluids.
Jane went to the door and opened it.
And Loki stood there, with an urgent look about him. "Jane..." he began.
She looked warily at him, and not knowing what to do, allowed him entry.
He was hesitant, and looked at her face in anticipation. "I...cannot know what you are thinking...but please don't leave."
"I need water," was her response.
And as quickly as she uttered it, a glass was in Loki's hand, and he gave it to her. "Jane...what are you thinking?"
"I don't know," and she sat down again.
Loki kneeled in front of her. "Please, Jane...try to understand."
"What?" she said. "Understand what, exactly?"
"I..." and he stood, pulling his hand through his hair. "Understand that I love you, that I was attempting to protect you...Sigyn's magic is unpredictable...sometimes she can escape her cage, sometimes it explodes from her, and she inadvertently kills..."
"Is she what happened to Torben?"
At this, she noticed his eye twitch in slight anger, but he nodded. "From what I gather, he was curious about her father, and followed him down, hiding and then talking with her..."
"She must be unhappy."
"She?! She, unhappy? She doesn't understand happiness, Jane."
"How can you say that? She is a tormented soul," Jane finished.
"She is insane and possessed...her life is better than if she lived with her father, who is merciless...and would you defend her? She is the reason for all of this..." and he waved his hands about. He looked at Jane again. "Do not leave, my elf...I cannot bear it..."
Jane shook her head. "I...don't know. Loki...I just don't know...I cannot marry you..."
"No. My loveless marriage would not allow it as long as I remain on Asgard, the spell much too binding, and Sigyn and I would die," he noted her confusion. "That was where I was. Bargaining with the sorcerer...if I never came back here, our condemned union would be unrecognized in other parts of Yargasill."
"But you are married, Loki."
"I am, yes."
Jane shook her head. "I won't be your whore. I must respect myself."
He knelt once more and took her hands. "I'll give you time, Jane, I can wait...but do not leave me alone here...I know that that is the thing which is at the forefront of your thoughts...to leave, to never return..."
"How can I stay?"
He kissed her mouth tenderly. "By virtue of my complete and utter love for you."
Jane swallowed. "I..." and she was torn. She was in complete anguish. "I'll stay, but only to finish my obligation to the children...and only if I do not become too..." What? "Loki...I cannot marry you."
He nodded.
"And I don't know how to handle this...but I can't leave just yet...I won't be an extension of your family and what they did to you...but...I may not be ready to just...pick up where we were in the garden," she paused. "And I may need to go home, at least for a little while…"
Loki swallowed his emotion. "You despise me, then?"
Jane took his hand and stood. "I love you more than ever. But this…this is beyond what my mind can process in a short period of time. I don't know…I just don't know…"
He kissed her forehead, he kissed her cheek, and when he leaned into her mouth, she pulled away. "I can't Loki, I need some time…"
"Shall I leave?"
Jane expelled a shuttering breath and looked at him fixedly. "No. No…come here…" and she led him to her bed, and she laid down on it. Loki climbed in, and he wrapped his arms about her, laying his head on her shoulder. She stroked his back and rested her cheek on his forehead.
He shook and looked up at her. "I shall try, Jane, to honor your wish…" his mouth curled a bit. "But you are intoxicating, love, and it shall be a true test of my restraint to be so intimately near you and not ravish you here…"
"Try, then, Loki…" and she smiled.
And before long he fell asleep. And Jane thought that she never had known someone to slumber so utterly, he was heavy against her, and he did not move at all, save his steady breath.
Jane cried some more.
Jane despaired at her predicament.
How could she leave him?
But what would she do?
Stay and see, said her mind. Just wait and see what happens…she could not add to his misery, nor would she allow herself to be miserable in turn. She had suffered her own sort of bitter medicine in her life, and why should she deny herself the rapture of love when she had never been touched thus in her thirty years?
But she would be steadfast, for she couldn't lose herself in the heat of love, no matter what Loki did or said. She was not that fanciful girl.
Jane finally succumbed to the emotional exhaustion, despite the young hour (it was hardly past lunch), and fell asleep.
Movement. Something was stirring around her. Her eyes slowly opened. And she felt Loki's head move against her neck…he was waking up.
Her hand came up to her face…she rubbed at her eyes, and she looked down at him just as he raised his face to hers.
He propped himself up on his elbow while his left hand eased across her face in adoration.
Jane smiled.
And Loki pulled himself up to her, and kissed her mouth chastely.
He took his head away to ascertain her reaction…and tilted his head when he spied no objection and found her mouth once more.
Deep, exploratory kisses were exchanged as his hands roamed down her body, and Jane let out a muffled cry.
Jane grabbed at his shoulders, and pulled him closer…then stopped. She pulled away, breathing hard. "Loki…stop…" she chastised herself as he looked at her as though a pit of fire burned in his bowels. "I'm so sorry…I don't mean to tease you…honestly…but I only just promised myself that we wouldn't do this…not yet."
His eyes fell, his breath was staggered. He nodded and pulled away.
He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood. "Will you join me for dinner this evening?" he asked without looking at her. "I shan't be dining with my family."
"Of course…what is the time?" and she looked out of the window.
"Dinner will likely be served in an hour or so."
"Loki look at me."
He did as she bade.
"Can you smile for me please?" and she smiled in an effort to encourage him.
He smiled at her, and it was honest. "I'll see you in the garden…it will be pleasant to dine outside, do you not agree?"
"Yeah…except…"
"Except?"
"Are there terrible insects to be mindful of?"
Loki looked at her. "Oh, yes…" and he turned fully and leaned at the bedside. "Hideously huge ones which suck your lifeblood and sting your soft skin…" he traced his finger along her arm as her eyes widened. "…but never fear, Jane. I shall stamp them out with my palm…" and he laughed.
"They aren't big?"
He rose once more. "Are you honestly that concerned about some insects?"
"I don't like flying bugs."
"But loving a miscreant you take in stride."
Jane laughed. "Only under very particular circumstances."
He returned her laugh. "I'll enchant the space to ensure no odious insects disturb our repast," and he left.
Jane got up. She sighed.
She loved a miscreant.
And they were to have their first official…well, sorta…date.
A/N Obviously, this is where we deviate from the original text. I hope that you all are not disappointed in that…but I couldn't have Jane leave him, mostly because I don't think that Jane Foster would, but also because I couldn't bear to do it…;)
We shall return a bit to JE, and the story is much more than half way done (likely 2/3, if not a bit more), but for the next couple of chapters, we shall enjoy some fluff.
I never, ever, do this, but if you could, please leave a PM or a review letting me know if this is an acceptable deviation from the text. I've never penned a story that holds so true to the original, and since it is a beloved story, I worry over doing it justice, but also making this an acceptable stand-alone story.
Thanks so much!