I've decided to give in to you lovable suckers who want me to extend my one-shots, but just this once because I don't want to get into a multi-chapter commitment and hit a brick wall. By the way, does anybody mind me being the Queen of M-rated Olicity? 'Cause I'm claiming the throne.
Oh, and a thought: What if Robert Queen had never become a liability and the Queen's Gambit had never been sabotaged? What if Oliver had come back all those years ago, completely ruined his relationship with Laurel and then got bored with Sarah? He'd still be an irresponsible playboy five years later, right? And one day he spills a latte on his laptop and takes it to Queen Consolidated to have a geek look at it—a geek named Felicity Smoak. How would he treat her? And as he continues to ask for her help, does he start to like her? An idea if anyone wants it.
Valentine's Day was four days ago—or was it more like five?—and Felicity still felt all mushy-gushy and giddy; Oliver/the Hood had really made her holiday. And he said there would be a next time! And he'd stay the night! Felicity had never woken up next to a man before; not that she'd had many opportunities. Her first time was with her classmate in college, and it wasn't exactly magical, nor did it end with him spending the night. And the guy she had sex with after him was… well, Oliver.
But what if Oliver hadn't meant what he said about a next time? What if their little romp had just been a Valentine's Day present to his trusty nerd girl? He did owe her something, didn't he? After all her help… and dammit, where was that red wine he promised? So maybe it really was a payment thing, and he said he'd spend the night next time because… because he was trying to be nice? She wasn't sure. But she braced herself for the possibility. Seriously, as if the Oliver Queen would want to come back for more.
Felicity stared at her monitor, trying to focus and not think about the possibility of another visit from Oliver or how mind-blowingly awesome last Thursday was. But her train of thought refused to stay on track; it constantly wobbled on the rails, teetering with every unbidden flash of hot, Oliver-related memory. Exasperated, she jammed a pen in her mouth and started chewing on the cap. But with her mind in the gutter, it only made things worse. She growled, spitting out the unfortunately phallic writing utensil and chucked it across the room.
Damn you, Oliver Queen! she thought, resting her head on the back of her chair. Now I can't function! You've ruined me! My mind is mush and it's your fault! Oh, and damn you, too, Cupid! That's right; I know you're involved somehow. Damn you to hell! You people with your bows and arrows—
Then her phone rang; perhaps it was her boss, Moira Queen, calling to tell her to stop thinking about her son and get back to work. Sighing, Felicity answered.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Felicity."
It was Oliver. She gaped for a second. "Oh, hey, Oliver. Do you need something?" Please let it be sex, please let it be sex, please let it be sex…
"Are you busy tonight?"
Weeeeeeeee…..! Oh, wait! He might just want me to do some geeky project for him! "I'm, uh… no, I don't have any plans."
"Alright. So, I know you have to work tomorrow, but I thought I could come over… dressed as Oliver."
Felicity involuntarily punched the air in triumph then quickly regained her composure. "Sure, that'd be great."
"So, eight or nine? Or should I be there earlier?"
"Let's say 8:30. Is that okay?"
"Sounds like a plan. See you then," Felicity could hear a smile in his voice.
"Bye,"
After she hung up the phone, she had to bite her lip to keep from squealing, or possibly belting out a few lines from a certain Marvin Gaye song. She was going to see him again! And he was staying the night! And the sooner she got her work done, the more time she'd have to get ready.
Now that she had some motivation, she was able to concentrate on her work.
It was 5:05 when Felicity finished her last assignment. Normally, she'd stay a few more hours and get a jump on the next day's work, but she had plans tonight. Sexy plans. And since she wasn't sure how to prepare for it, she needed all the time she could get.
Just as she was gathering her things, Felicity heard a knock on the door frame.
"Hey," It was Karla from Human Resources. "Felicity, right?"
"Yes. Hi, Karla," Felicity tried to be nice, even though Karla usually either treated her as a loser or pretended she was invisible. "Screen freezing again?"
"No, I just wanted to talk to you about something," She tossed her pretty red hair over her shoulder and looked at Felicity like she was a peasant. "Doesn't Oliver Queen come to you for tech help?"
Felicity pulled on her jacket. "Yeah, why?"
"I want him to ask me out. I was hoping that you could talk me up the next time he's here, and maybe introduce me."
"You… you think you need my help?"
"No, but it couldn't hurt. Positive comments from his personal computer geek sounds like good PR. And I can't just approach him; can't come off too forward, now can I? Anyway, I'm sure I can take it from there."
Karla's arrogant smile made Felicity want to throw a stapler at her. As if Felicity would be awful enough to manipulate Oliver for her. That bitch.
Felicity was silent for a moment as she picked up her purse and slung her messenger bag over her shoulder. "Karla, I'm not sure I can do that."
Karla raised an eyebrow at her as she walked towards the door. "And why not? You honestly think that you have a chance with him?"
"See, that's the thing, Karla," she replied, inching past her over the threshold. They stood face to face in the doorway, each trying to contain their annoyance. "I do more for him than just fix his computer."
Felicity smiled as Karla's jaw dropped in shock.
"Well, have a good night," Felicity said, leaving Karla to gape in the doorway. "I know I will."
As happy as it made her to burst Karla's bubble like that, panic started to consume her as soon as she got in her car. How was she supposed to get ready? Did she need new underwear? That seemed like a good idea; most of hers were plain cotton or had superheroes on them. And yes, that included her bras. She wanted to actually look sexy this time. Maybe she'd buy a silk nightie—no wait, a teddy! Or maybe that was the most outrageous thing she'd ever thought in her life.
She rolled her eyes as she started the car.
Felicity had given in to her insecurities on the drive home and stopped at Victoria's Secret. She went up to an employee and asked to her for help finding lingerie she wouldn't feel ridiculous in. She settled on a pink nightie-thing called a "babydoll" with matching panties and hurried home.
There wasn't much to do there; she kept the place pretty clean. And her Tortoise didn't need much. So after all that, she still had an hour and a half to get dolled up. She took a shower, shaved, like, everywhere, then dried, straightened, and curled her hair. It was a pain in the ass, but her hair turned out great. Then she fussed with her makeup, trying to get it just right, all the while convincing herself to deal with contacts and instead of wearing her glasses.
Felicity was getting very, very nervous. She didn't know what she was supposed to do; and when did she put on the lingerie? Should she already have it on, or should she wait until after he arrived? It seemed stupid to put on clothes then change into something after he got here and then get naked.
Though she'd probably get laughed at, she called Oliver.
"Um, Oliver? What exactly is the protocol for what we're doing?"
"Protocol?" He sounded like he was on speakerphone. Felicity glanced at the clock: 8:20. Ten minutes! He must be in the car on his way here!
"Am I supposed to have a dress on when you get here? That seems superfluous considering I won't wear for it very long. And when should I put on the lingerie? Was I even supposed to buy lingerie? Because I did, but I don't want to answer the door in it. I have a robe, but it's pink and fluffy and not very sexy so I don't want to wear that over it—Hey, stop laughing!"
"I'm sorry," Oliver took a moment to get himself under control. "Uh, how about I use the fire escape again? That way you won't have to answer the door in your… Did you really buy lingerie?"
"I'm hanging up, now. I'll meet you at my bedroom window."
"See you in five," he answered, suppressing a laugh.
Oliver left his car in a parking garage before heading over to Felicity's apartment. He'd been dying to see her since Thursday, but thought he needed time to sort things out; and by "sort things out," he meant Diggle figured out where he went and demanded he leave their new techie alone. And he did, for a few days. But then he started to miss her, so after two hours of arguing, Diggle agreed that it was okay to see her.
He climbed the fire escape is his usual ninja-monkey way and stopped when he reached her window.
"Felicity?" he called, tapping the glass three times.
"Come in,"
Oliver pulled up on the window. By the time he opened it, Felicity had mysteriously disappeared.
"Where are you?" he said, looking around nervously.
"In the bathroom," she answered from behind the door. "I feel really stupid in this. I think this secret should stay between me and Victoria."
Oliver rolled his eyes, smiling. "Okay, well, if you feel stupid in it, come out and I'll take it off of you." he replied, peeling off his jacket and shirt.
The bathroom door slowly creaked open, and what came out did not look like an IT girl.
Oliver gawked at her, unsure where to look first. Her hair was curled, her makeup was sexy, and everything below her neck made him so hard so fast that he was getting lightheaded: her full breasts in that lacy pink bra; her flat tummy and soft curves; the pink tulle skirt that came to her hips; that string bikini that barely covered anything in the front, and possibly nothing in the back; and damn, those legs…
"Oliver?"
Dazed, he looked her in the eye. "Huh?"
"So it looks pretty good, then?"
Since his brain didn't exactly have the lion's share of his blood at the moment, Oliver only nodded vigorously.
Felicity smiled victoriously. "Perfect." Then she quickly turned around—It was a thong!—and locked herself in the bathroom again.
Oliver ran to the bathroom door, feeling very horny and confused. "Wait, come back!" he demanded, finally able to form coherent sentences. "Why are you doing this to me?"
"This is payback for last time, Ollie." she teased. "By the way, I think your mask is stupid."
"But, how did you know my weakness is lingerie?" Oliver said dramatically. "I think I've found my nemesis."
Felicity giggled quietly before playing along. "That's right, Hood! I—"
"I hate that name,"
"That's right, Killer Lime! I—"
"Killer Lime?!"
"Dude, you're not supposed to interrupt the bad guy's monologue!"
"And I want you so badly that I'm about to hold your turtle hostage."
Felicity gasped, trying not to laugh. "Leave my tortoise out of this!"
"Hey, Paperweight, let's go make some soup stock!"
"No, my baby!" Felicity threw open the door and Oliver swept her up and over his shoulder. She fought back playfully as he carried her to the bed.
The springs went SCER-eek when he dropped her on the pillow-y comforter. She stared at him curiously as he removed his shoes and socks.
"Aren't you worried I'll escape?"
He shrugged. "I'll just threaten your tortoise again."
"In that case, I'll help you." She sat up, positioning herself in front of him. He moved closer and let her unbutton his pants, which were severely tented. As she pulled his zipper down, he slipped a handful of condoms from his pocket.
"Only five?" she said, frowning.
"You don't think that'll be enough?"
"If not, there's some cling wrap in kitchen." she replied, keeping a straight face as she looked up at him.
He grinned at her, almost laughing. "I can't tell if you're serious or not."
"Screw me five times and find out."
No longer able to hold back, Oliver tossed the condoms on the bed and tackled Felicity, kissing her and unhooking her bra. She let it fall from her shoulders and flung it across the room as Oliver took off his pants and boxers.
"Wow, you are really naked." Felicity commented, sounding suddenly nervous.
"What's wrong?" he knelt down in front of her, concerned.
She timorously crossed her arms over her chest. "Look, I know you've been with a lot of girls, and you must be very experienced. But there's really no need to impress me with any unusual techniques. No need to go all Fifty Shades of Green on me, you know? You can just keep it vanilla."
Oliver only stared, barely suppressing laughter.
"'Cause it's not like I've got anything special to teach you." she added fretfully.
"I don't care if you've got nothing to teach me. Know why?" He moved his hands to her hips and brought his face close to hers. "Because you're remarkable."
She pressed her forehead against his, smiling dreamily. "Thank you for remarking on it." Oliver could hear foil crinkling as Felicity reached for a condom. "Now put this on."
He stood up and obeyed, ripping it open and quickly rolling it on as she watched. Without warning, she pushed him back and dropped to her knees in front of him, taking him in her mouth. He doubled over as she sucked, his hands in her hair. Her fingers dug into his hips as she became more aroused by his groaning. He reached release loudly, then fell to the floor, panting. Felicity dropped to all fours, painfully close to the edge. Oliver beckoned her to him, and when she lay next to him he drew close, pulling down her thong and plunging two fingers inside her. He palmed her forcefully as he pumped in and out, making her back arch. When she began to grind rhythmically against his hand, Oliver gazed hungrily as her breasts jiggled with each gyration. After licking his lips he gave in and sucked at her nipple while his fingers continued to rub inside her. She let out an amorous shriek, her hands moving to the back of his head. Eager to hear her climax, Oliver took her nipple in his teeth and gently tugged. She crashed around him, and as she caught her breath she purred at the feel of him slowly removing his fingers from inside her.
"I think I have rug burn," she mumbled.
He laughed quietly as he nuzzled her neck. "You're about to have a hickey, too."
They spent the next several hours in a cycle of tender foreplay and ferocious lovemaking until they fell asleep tangled in a sweat-soaked bed sheet.
Oliver woke up first; it had been the best rest he'd gotten since leaving the Island, but he still had trouble sleeping for very long.
Felicity lay on her stomach, her messy blonde curls obscuring her face. Oliver pulled the sheet over her goose-pimpling skin before kissing the top of her head and rolling out of bed. He needed to walk around and wrestle with his thoughts.
Diggle had been pissed when he figured what Oliver had done on Valentine's Day. According to him, getting involved with anyone was a bad idea; it was a distraction, a weakness. And Diggle assumed Oliver would break her heart.
It was difficult to argue with that. Who hadn't he hurt? Everyone he cared about had a reason to be angry with him, especially the women he'd been involved with. But that was part of the reason he liked being with Felicity; with her there was no complicated history. In fact, it seemed that she and Diggle were the only ones he hadn't monumentally pissed off and alienated. There was also a part of him that feared it would end like it did with Laurel, that he'd get scared and leave her. But he was different now, and that was both good and bad. He wasn't afraid to commit to her, but at the same time he couldn't. It didn't seem smart for a vigilante to have a girlfriend who can't even defend herself.
That was another thing; they weren't dating. They were messing around, and that didn't sit well with Oliver. Felicity deserved more than that, more than a secret relationship and casual sex. But the thought of letting people know he was dating her terrified him. Someday someone would discover his identity, and they'd target her. He couldn't let that happen. So it seemed a clandestine relationship was the best decision.
Then again, should he encourage her to find someone else? Yeah, right; as if he'd be okay with that.
He shook his head, banishing the worrisome thoughts. Felicity made him happy, happier than he'd been in a long time. He could relax around her, even act silly. He could breathe. Whatever it was he had with her, he didn't want to let it go. He would fight for it. And yes, maybe Diggle was right; she was a distraction, but a man like Oliver needed a distraction from his brutal mission every once in a while.
Oliver had wandered into the living room, and sunlight was beginning to glow through the blinds. He waved at Paperweight as he ambled around his terrarium.
"Sorry I took you hostage," he apologized.
Just then his stomach grumbled, and he decided he would get ready and go buy her breakfast.
He entered the bathroom and took a quick shower. When he got out, Felicity was still unconscious and sprawled out on the bed. He gazed at her as he got dressed.
Carefully, he leaned over her and pulled the tangled tendrils away from her face.
"Be right back," He kissed her cheek and left the apartment the way he came.
Felicity still hadn't woken up when Oliver returned with breakfast. He checked her pulse to make sure he hadn't screwed her to death, and when he found she was still alive he went into the kitchen to put the coffee and box of donuts on the island.
An alarm went off and when Oliver reentered the bedroom, Felicity was sleepily feeling around for the off button. She lifted her head and looked around. Oliver beamed at her when she saw him leaning on the door frame.
"Good morning," she greeted shyly, lazily kicking her feet as she looked over her shoulder at him.
"I bought donuts." he announced happily.
"I love donuts!" Her smile faded as she winced, sore as she slowly got out of bed. Oliver enjoyed watching her stretch out all the kinks. "Wow, you really did a number on me,"
Finally she was up, bashfully naked as Oliver watched her from the door.
"I need to get ready for work,"
"Want me to join you in the shower?"
She smiled, biting her lip. "Rain check?"
He nodded, then stared as she walked into the bathroom.
Twenty-five minutes later, Felicity came out of the bathroom, ready and looking the way Oliver usually saw her. He laid on the bed waiting, and when she appeared he gaped in shock.
"Wow, a hot girl goes in and a nerd comes out! It's like magic!" he teased.
She adjusted her glasses and held her hands behind her back. "The hot girl is just under this layer of nerd."
He smiled. "I believe it. Want some breakfast?"
She nodded happily and they went into the kitchen.
"You got Krispy Kreme?!" she exclaimed when she saw the box. "I am so in love with you!" Horrified, she closed her eyes in embarrassment. "Um, I meant for getting the donuts. I don't love you. I mean I do, but not like—"
Amused, Oliver kissed her sweetly on the cheek before taking a seat at the island. "There's coffee, too."
Still blushing, Felicity sat down next to him. The coffee was great, if not a little too black for her taste. He opened the box for her and she snatched up a chocolate glazed donut.
"Mmm," she hummed as she chewed the first bite. "How did you know I loved cream-filled?"
He glanced at her, trying not to smile. "Because you did last night."
Felicity nearly choked on her donut. "Okay, I set myself up for that one." she admitted with a smile.
"Yes, you did." Oliver gleefully reached for one with sprinkles.
She eyed him curiously as he bit into his donut. "You're a sprinkles guy?"
"Mm-hmm,"
Felicity took a sip of her coffee, absorbing the information. "The badass vigilante archer who hunts down dangerous criminals is a sprinkles guy. That is awesome."
They finished breakfast in comfortable silence, both still feeling worn out from last night. Then it was time for Felicity to leave.
"Thank you," she said, kissing him on the cheek.
"You're very welcome," he replied. Then she gathered her stuff and they left through the front door together.
Work seemed like a cheerful, happy place as Felicity entered the building. People noticed she had a glow about her, but no one suspected the cause. She click-clicked in her kitten heels all the way to the IT Department.
Minutes after getting situated and turning on her computer, she heard a knock on the door. It was Karla, along with two other Plastics.
"Hello, Karla!" Felicity greeted pleasantly.
"Hey," greeted Karla. "What did you do last night?" There was a hint of venom in her genial tone.
"Same thing I do every night, Karla; try to take over the world."
She rolled her eyes. "Cute."
"Oh, yes, I'm adorable."
"Do you mind repeating what you told me before leaving work last night?" she asked with a fake smile. "Something about you and Oliver Queen?"
Plastics One and Two glanced at one another, smirking.
"You mean about me sleeping with him?" Felicity paused to take in their astonished, amused reactions. "You didn't believe me, did you?"
Karla's expression fell. "You sounded serious."
"About that? Really, Karla, that's like me claiming to have a sexual relationship with the vigilante."
The Plastics giggled behind their pretty, vapid leader, who was becoming entertainingly aggravated.
"Well, silly me, then,"
"Silly you,"
The Vacuous Three left to go do whatever it is they do, and Felicity spent the rest of the day in her unburstable bubble of Oliver-induced happiness.