So we're clear, Oliver and Felicity will be together by the end of this story; I don't care what holes I have to tear in the Arrow universe to make it happen. But I can't make anything major happen right now. They've got bigger crap to deal with, to be honest. It's like when Laurel showed up and popped that whole "feelings" thing on him. He had enough going on already and that should've waited. Same principle here. Olicity will get sorted out after the finale. Until then, enjoy the exquisite pain of them secretly pining for one another. The way I've got things planned, all their yearning is going to pay off big time in a later chapter. C:

"Good Morning,"

Groggy, Oliver rolled over and smiled sleepily at his girlfriend. She pushed her messy blonde curls away from her face and lazily reached for her glasses on the nightstand.

"You hungry?" he asked, grabbing her waist and pulling her closer.

She grinned and threw a leg over his hip then straddled him. The contact was a pleasant reminder that she was wearing nothing but his t-shirt. His hands gently rubbed her thighs as he awaited her answer.

"That depends," she answered, leaning forward slightly and placing her hands on his chest. "Can we go out to eat?"

"We have plenty to eat here,"

Felicity blew a strand of hair out of her face then tucked it behind her ear. "You haven't let me out of the house since I got here. Don't think I haven't noticed."

He rolled his eyes. "It's a mansion, Felicity; I find it hard to believe that you can have cabin fever already."

"It's been four days."

"I want you safe. I don't see what the big deal is."

She shook her head. "You're just waiting for me to get Stockholm syndrome so I'll shut up about it."

"And I've been very patient so far," he said with a smirk.

"We're Belle and the Beast."

"No, we're not."

"I'm your Belle and you're my Beast and you won't let me leave your enchanted castle."

Oliver sighed. "I'm just being protective."

"Is the furniture going to start talking soon?"

"Felicity—"

"Tale as old as time…" she began to sing.

"Hey, knock it off." Oliver cajoled.

"True as it can be…"

"Stop comparing us to Beauty and the Beast."

"Barely even friends… Then somebody bends… Unexpectedly."

"You're going to be bending unexpectedly if you don't cut it out." he said with a laugh.

"Oh, yeah?" Felicity brushed her lips against his. "Bite me, Beast."

Oliver gave her a convincing growl that made her giggle before playfully nipping at her neck. He continued by sucking at a spot on her neck, holding her to him as she teasingly resisted. Oliver sank his fingertips into the back of her upper thighs, his desire growing as he listened to her rapid breathing. His sucking turned to gnawing and she told him to stop, but he ignored her. His nails raked across her skin as his hands moved under her borrowed shirt, pinning her closer to him.

"Oliver, please," Her voice was a frightened whimper that brought him a degree of clarity, but he couldn't stop. He flipped over and trapped her beneath him, pinioning her hands above her. Her neck was getting red where he was biting her.

"You're hurting me!"

But he couldn't control himself; he only bit harder. Oliver wanted desperately to stop, yet a part of him was compelled to hear her scream, to make her bleed. One hand held down her arms at the wrists while the other scraped long bloody lines into her flesh. She cried out in pain but he only dug deeper. Tears pricked his eyes at the horror of what he was doing. A sob escaped his throat as he bit down and broke her skin, the rusty taste of blood filling his mouth—

Oliver woke with a start, breathing heavily and soaked with sweat. His hands shook as he reached up to wipe away his tears. After a moment, he peeled the drenched sheets from his skin and sat up, hugging his legs and resting his head on his knees.

He hated that nightmare. It was worse than dreaming of Felicity being killed by the Dark Archer or the Count. Oliver preferred to tell himself that he only wanted to protect her from the danger of his job, from the criminals seeking to take down the Hood… but sometimes his subconscious felt the need to remind him of an even greater fear.

Oliver had never been a good person; not before the island and definitely not now. Before the island, he was a spoiled, spineless, selfish prick. Now he was a broken, bloodthirsty beast that killed people. There was a lot of blood on his hands, and that damn'd spot was never coming out. And the scariest part was that it didn't bother him. These people didn't haunt his dreams or heap guilt on his conscience; they should've, they were supposed to, but they didn't. That wasn't how a normal person was meant to function.

Felicity deserved someone better than a borderline-sociopath. She was untouched by personal horror and trauma. She was a light that made him all too aware of his darkness. She made him more aware of how he should be, but wasn't. He was afraid that if he got too close to her, she would end up with stains on her soul as well. There was also the high probability of bloodstains, which scared him even more. Half the time he felt like Carnage Incarnate, created to kill. Whether it was her witnessing that or accidentally becoming a casualty, the prospect of corruption seemed likely. Being around him could ruin her, and being with him could be even worse.

May 6

Felicity told herself it was like the five-part series finale of Torchwood. Gwen Cooper was three weeks pregnant when the aliens came to earth to take human children so they could use their hormones for drugs. Gwen could've run away to somewhere safe; the aliens wouldn't have come after her. She could've left everything to her teammates for the sake of protecting her unborn child. But did she do that? No! There were too many lives at risk! She was needed! She wasn't fool enough to believe running and hiding was selfless. Gwen had shit to do, and so did Felicity.

The stairs clanged dully as the archer's nerd descended into the basement. She was greeted by the sounds of shirtless Oliver and Diggle training with those short little sticks that hurt like hell. As she took her seat, she noticed the lair got quiet. Felicity looked up and her eyes met Oliver's.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. For some reason he seemed angry.

Felicity adjusted her glasses. "Um… what I always do."

"We found Walter."

"Yes, we did."

"So why did you come back?" Oliver stepped closer. "We had a deal."

She gave him a weak smile. "As if I could leave you now. I'll leave once you guys stop needing me so much."

"I don't need you." he said firmly.

For a brief moment, her face revealed her dejection. Then she blinked and swallowed. "But I've been—"

"In danger too many times. There's no room for a damsel in distress on the team."

Felicity refused to cry or yell at him. "Diggle's been teaching me self-defense."

"You're not learning fast enough." His jaw was clenched. "Now do everyone a favor and go back to your boring life."

Felicity glanced at Diggle, who was glaring at the back of Oliver's head.

"Oliver—" Diggle began admonishingly, but Felicity interrupted him.

"Alright," Her friend looked at her in confusion, and she gave him a reassuring smile. "If you really think I'd get in the way, then I should go." She knew this was bullshit—She was clearly their Hermione—but maybe it was better not to push. Felicity did need to get away, and he was conveniently insisting she leave. If he was so resolute, then it was best to seize the opportunity. And should he come to his senses later, she would happily come back and do her best not to say she told him so.

Diggle watched incredulously as she calmly gathered her things. The second the door shut behind her, Oliver turned to resume his training with Diggle.

WHACK! His bodyguard surprised with him with a merciless blow to the shoulder. That godawful stick left a pink impression above an already forming bruise as Oliver winced and staggered back.

"The hell is wrong with you, Oliver?" Diggle demanded. "You know we need her help!"

Oliver pursed his lips. "She's a liability. I—" Diggle swung at him again, and Oliver blocked it. "I have enough problems as it is." he finished loudly.

"And your biggest problem is that you're a dumbass."

They started circling like two rival predators ready to attack. Each dropped their training weapons, knowing things could get bloody otherwise.

"Things are getting too dangerous, Dig."

"Which is why we need her."

"I need her to be one less thing to worry about."

"She's not helpless, Oliver!" Diggle shouted. "Felicity's proven she can handle this! She's kept her cool under pressure. She's suffered through your tantrums and endured your yelling. How many times has she spent the night in the lair, taking naps on the training mats and at her desk so she could get what you need? And she was there for you when even I wasn't! And have you forgotten that she saved your life? Do not talk about her like she's useless!"

"I never said she was useless!"

"You've done nothing but hurt her! I warned you not to get involved with her and then you go and break her damn heart! Since then all you do is bark orders at her and act like what you had with her never happened. And she still doesn't hate you. Because she gets you. She knows you're all kinds of messed up inside and she doesn't resent you for not functioning like a normal human being. Do you not see that? Why the hell are you pushing her away? Why don't you love—"

"She deserves better than a monster like me!" Oliver roared angrily, his eyes wet.

The two stopped circling. Diggle hadn't seen him this emotional before. He looked like he was either about to cry or murder someone.

Well, shit. He did love her.

"You really have been trying to protect her this whole time." he said, remembering his conversation with Felicity a while back.

Oliver sighed and suddenly looked exhausted. "I'll just end up ruining her."

"Or maybe she could be good for you."

"I just want her to be safe." Oliver shook his head. "If you tell her about any of this—"

"I won't. It's not my place." Diggle walked over to the desk to get Oliver's cell phone. "Frankly, we have more important crap to deal with right now. And whether you're comfortable with it or not, we need her. Now get her on the phone and bring her back."

Oliver reluctantly took his cell phone. "Diggle—"

"Get her on the damn phone."

The emotionally maladjusted archer scowled as he found her number and held the phone to his ear.

"It went to voicemail."

"Then leave a message."

"Felicity, get back here." Oliver commanded. Diggle smacked his arm. "I'm…sorry… for what I said. You're not a damsel in distress. I've just been worried you'll get hurt."

"Tell her she's a valuable member of the team." Diggle whispered.

"No," Oliver mouthed.

"Dammit, Oliver," he mumbled. "I will kick your ass."

"You're a valuable member of the team." Oliver said into the phone as he turned away from Diggle. "Now get back here, you have work to do." Oliver hung up the phone. "That's great. You've probably just led her to her death."

"Oliver, stop giving yourself an ulcer."

"If anything happens to her—"

"Hey," Diggle took the phone back and set it on the desk. "We can protect her, remember? She's got both of us looking out for her."

"What if that isn't enough?"

"It will be,"

Oliver bent down and picked up his training sticks to put them away.

"Just be nicer to her, okay? Being a dick isn't helping anything."

The archer rolled his eyes. "Okay,"

An hour later, Felicity was descending the stairs again.

"That was faster than I thought," she said as she set her purse under the desk.

"Diggle made a convincing argument." replied Oliver, only offering her a glance.

She smirked at Diggle as he leaned on the desk beside her. "You hit him with a stick, didn't you?" she asked quietly. He nodded in response. "I guess violence does have its virtues."

"Felicity, I need you and Diggle to start surveillance on my mother." His teammates turned to look at him. "Track everything she does. We need to know if she does anything else concerning the Undertaking."

And with that, business went on as usual.

May 11

He had a feeling his moment of weakness would come back to haunt him.

Oliver had been an emotional wreck when Laurel had told him to talk to Tommy again. He had seized the opportunity to get her back, even though it was clear she was better with Tommy. But after he sobered up and got his head on straight, he realized what a terrible move that had been. Messing up their relationship would only make things worse. He regretted what he had said and hoped Tommy would come to his senses.

Days later, Laurel told Oliver that she still had feelings for him. Nothing's changed, he said, and it was true. More importantly, he hadn't changed. They still had a messy past and Tommy was still better for her. Oliver tried to fix things—he really did—but Tommy refused to be a "consolation prize." That little bastard was just afraid, wasn't he? Afraid of being overshadowed and afraid of commitment. Fine. Oliver had said what he had come to say, and there wasn't much else he could do.

There was something about not being able to save Felicity that really shook him. Yes, Diggle had saved her, but what about the next time, or the time after that? One of these days her life would be on the line, and he won't get there in time.

It was one more thing on the pile of problems that had been building lately. Everything with his family and the Undertaking and the Merlyns and Felicity… he needed an escape.

That's why he ran to Laurel. She wanted him, and he needed her. Laurel had been his safe place on the island; she was where his mind would wander when things were falling down around him. She was his first love and a source of comfort. If Tommy refused to be with her, then why couldn't Oliver have her? They were happy together once, and they could be again, right?

He lied through his teeth when he said she knew him better than anyone. What he said was really meant for Felicity. Laurel barely knew him at all, actually. But it was better that way, it was better for her to stay in the dark, even if that meant wearing a mask around her. He didn't want her to see what he was. It would be easier to hide the monster from her.

Oliver's song: "Little Lion Man" by Mumford & Sons