meg's adoptive father has got it goin' on

i.

It starts with teasing; it's not meant to be anything serious, at all, because while Porcoline is many things (adoptive father to probably too many adolescents, sliiiiight glutton, and master chef) a creepy old pervert is not one of them. So, every time he flashes a wide smile in Frey's direction and she returns it ever warily, it feels like nothing more than a game that they both play to quell their own boredom.

ii.

"I love you," she says, one day, with such a stern and serious expression that Porcoline has to grab the wall behind him just to steady himself. This was the absolute last thing he was ever expecting from the not-quite-shy but not-quite-bold either Selphian princess.

In the collective silence that lasts for all of about three minutes, she places her hands on her hips and purses her lips, and stares at him expectantly. Well. What, exactly, is he supposed to say to that?

"R-Really?"

She simply stares in response - but there's a crack in her serious demeanor, a very slight twitch of the lips that tells him she's fighting back a gigantic, smug grin. Porcoline thinks that perhaps she should know that when it comes to this little game, he's got worlds' worth of more experience, and that victory will not come so easily. (Whatever victory in this case may mean.)

"Alright then, lovely~ Let's get married! Right now~"

"Alright," she retorts quickly, though her eyes are no longer alight with mischief and he can tell he ruined her feeble attempt at catching him off guard for once. "I've always wanted a Spring wedding."

"Perfect~" He chimes, smiling widely at her. "Illuminata must have some fresh cut flowers you can wear in your hair, you'll look so - "

"What the hell," Dylas appears just in time, and not a second too late, with his usual scowl on his face. He strides over in three large steps and smacks the hat right off Porcoline's head. "Stop being creepy," his hazel eyes dart over to Frey. "That goes for you too. You're both such weirdos. Do you have to do this every day?"

"It's not every day," Frey replies indignantly, sticking her nose up in the air stubbornly. "Besides, I think I've finally got ahead - "

"No," Porcoline shakes his head, gravely. "It was a nice attempt, but there's no fooling me, lovely~"

Frey grimaces, crossing her arms over her chestplate armor. "Well," she says, appearing quite dismayed before her expression lights up in it's usual cheerfulness. She heads towards the front door of the restaurant, practically skipping, and before leaving she turns to the two with a wide grin. "I'll just have to try again when you least expect it! See you - Well, you won't know when! "

The door shuts with a resounding thud and Dylas sighs while Porco laughs giddily.

"I really hate you both."

iii.

"Frey De Sainte-Coquille has quite the ring to it, hm?"

"Quite," Frey mutters sarcastically, hard at work pulling weeds and disposing of them into her compost bin. Porco seems more than happy to sit idly by and observe, making comments not dissimilar to that every so often. Finally, unable to take it anymore, Frey sits up on her knees and stares at the chef expectantly. "Okay, seriously. What do you want?"

"Your hand in marriage would be nice~"

"Ah, is that all?"

"Someone's a bit snappy today. Did something happen, lovely?"

Frey blows a stray strand of hair in her eyes away, a rather disgruntled expression overtaking her usually gentle features. "No. Nothing."

"It doesn't sound like nothing," Porco chirps, in his usual exaggerated tone because who knows what would happen, should he ever sound truly genuine and concerned? Horrible, unspeakable events might occur. Best not to test it.

The princess lets out a strangled sort of sound; the kind that can only be induced by truly astounding amounts of frustration. She pulls at one of her own pigtails, irritably. "I guess I'm just stressed, okay? Are you happy?"

"Hmmmm~ Not at all, actually. That simply won't do."

"'That simply won't do' Can you cut it out for, like, a second? It's taking all of the energy I've got left not to stuff your mouth with that dumb hat of yo - !"

With speed Frey didn't think was humanly possible, Porcoline strolls over to her and grabs her chin gently, crystalline sapphire eyes peering mischievously into her own. She can feel his breath on her face, which admittedly, causes her to flush in what she likes to think of as indignance.

"What are you doing," she deadpans, all red in the face and narrowed eyes.

"This game of ours is driving me wild. I don't think I can handle it anymore, Frey~"

Frey gulps, because he looks really, really serious considering the situation that they're in and this is just part of the game right? Right?!

"But - !"

And then there's something soft pressing against her lips, and it takes a long while to get the courage to open her eyes to investigate'; to see him watching her with an infinitely amused expression as he drops the strawberry that he'd been holding to her lips.

It takes a considerably less amount of time for her to unsheathe her sword and start chasing him around Selphia, all the while screaming "I'll destroy you, Porcoline!"

(a/n) i said i'd do it and i did. next will be official qt3.14 kiel