July 2nd

That dumbass kid was in trouble again; Felicity could feel it. Well, actually, it was the sound of someone laboring up the stairs that made her suspect he'd been out doing something stupid. He was so lucky it was only the two of them living in their wing of the mansion, considering how pissed Thea would be if she found out where he'd been.

Felicity had woken up at three forty-eight, the infernal numbers glowing on the face of the digital alarm clock. This time it was not due to a rumbly in her tumbly; a ker-THUMP had jostled her into consciousness, leaving her barely awake but too curious to go back to sleep.

She put on her glasses and swept the covers off her increasingly ungainly body before shuffling towards her bedroom door. When she opened it, she saw Roy staggering to his room, the wall a welcome crutch as he stopped to rest.

"Moron," Felicity mumbled as she rubbed her eyes like a drowsy two year old. In the dim moonlight, he seemed almost scared. Funny, really, since Felicity was just a pregnant, nerdy girl in a Doctor Who shirt and Spiderman pajama bottoms. Her hair was undoubtedly a tangled blonde mess and her barely-opened eyes gazed dazedly behind crooked glasses. She sniffled and rubbed her nose before plodding over to him.

"I ran into a door." Roy blurted, wincing as he pushed off the wall.

Felicity let out a long, powerful yawn that hurt her jaw. "Helluva door,"

He sighed. "Can you not tell anyone, please?"

"Yeah, whatever." she replied, clutching his red hood and pulling him unceremoniously into her room. "Let's get you cleaned up."

It was clearly painful for him to sit down on the bed, which served him right. He turned on the lamp on the nightstand, and she was able to see just how bad his injuries were. A gash by his eye, a cut cheek, a busted lip, bloody knuckles, and by the way he moved there were surely many bruises hiding under his clothes, which were dirty, cut up, and ripped, blood seeping from most of the tattered holes.

"I think there's a first aid kit under the sink." she said as she shambled into the adjoining bathroom. A minute later she emerged from under the sink with a white box.

"Okay, take your clothes off."

He eyed her warily as she stood up and walked towards the bed, moving back fractionally as she drew closer.

"Pfft,"she scoffed. "Dude, don't flatter yourself. Have you even noticed how insanely hot my boyfriend is? Just take your filthy clothes off so I can get to your numerous wounds."

Rolling his eyes, he kicked off his shoes then tenderly pulled off his jeans. That was taking too long, so Felicity stepped in and yanked them off, causing Roy to bite back a scream. Then she roughly peeled off his resistant hoodie and shirt. He glowered at her as he blinked back tears.

She left him there in his bruises, scrapes, socks, and boxer-briefs as she got a hand towel from the bathroom and soaked it under the faucet.

"You're covered in grime, and I think there's rubble in your hair," she remarked as she sat beside him, noting his irritated look. "And you're getting all that dirt on my comforter. So quit pouting, because it would've been easier for me to let you deal with this on your own."

His expression softened as she began to gently dab his cut cheek. Then she moved to a scrape on his shoulder, shaking her head as she realized this was going to take a while.

"You better not have any broken bones, young man. And if you need stitches, I'm going to slap you." she warned, continuing her careful cleaning of his scratches. "I know exactly what you were doing, and you're lucky to be alive."

"But the Hood has barely been seen since the Glades got destroyed, and someone needs to step up and—"

"That is no excuse! I mean, look at your face! Look at what some thug did to your face. You could've gotten your nose broken, or lost a few teeth, or lost an eye.

And it could've been worse! All the psychos escaped prison when the Undertaking happened, did you know that? Pretty thing like you could've become someone's bitch tonight. Don't you chuckle, Roy, I'm being serious. A muscly, three-hundred pound serial rapist covered in prison ink could've backed you into a dark alley and reminded you of one of the many reasons why you stopped risking prison. Yeah, you're not smiling now, are you? Not after remembering that, if you'd gone to prison, you'd be the most sought after bitch in the clink. Now, are you going to do the right thing and promise me you'll never go vigilante-ing again?"

Roy looked like he wanted to be annoyed, but it just wasn't happening. "It's been a while since someone's fussed over me so obnoxiously."
Felicity raised an eyebrow. "Thea doesn't?"

"She does, but she's cool about it. And she yells instead of scolding like a total mom."

"Yeah, well, next time I'm going to smack you with a wooden spoon." She knelt down in front of him to wipe at the blood around his scraped knees. "Seriously, you should be intimidated; wooden spoons hurt."

"Can't be worse than a belt," he said offhandedly. Before she could process that, he spoke again. "I could sure use someone to teach me how to fight so I wouldn't get pummeled so hard. I wonder who could help…"

His sarcastic tone made her laugh. "I can talk Diggle into showing you a few moves."

That clearly wasn't the answer he was looking for. "No, that's okay."

"He's a bodyguard and an ex-soldier, Roy; I'm sure he could teach you a lot. You could totally get your training montage on, complete with 'Eye of the Tiger' playing in the background. It'd be pretty sweet."

He smiled at that, and for a moment it looked like he was about to agree. Instead he changed the subject. "So, have you ever done this for the Hood?"

"Patch him up?" Felicity paused, smiling at a memory. "Well, there was this one time… I found him bleeding in my backseat. It was just after Mrs. Queen shot him—"

"She shot him?!"

"Yeah, it was when he confronted her. She pulled a gun on him and started shooting. Surprised him, apparently. Anyway, I was leaving work late and there he was. The wound was deep, but it wasn't fatal, and I had to stitch him up. Thankfully, she'd just grazed him. It was about right here—" She sliced a finger high on the right side of her ribs. "—and sewing someone's skin together is really gross, by the way. And he was so growly the whole time, mostly because he hated having to rely on me like that. Such a lone wolf."

"So… does that mean he had to take his hood off? Did you see his face?" he asked with barely restrained eagerness as she finished cleaning the grime from his wounds.

"I was very respectful and didn't look up," she answered curtly. Then a blush crept into her cheeks. "I saw him shirtless, though. That was definitely something."

"Tons of scars?"

"Only one or two brutal ones, actually. He's that good, I guess. And no tattoos. I was totally expecting tattoos, but I didn't see any. Not even a skull or something badass like that. I was a little disappointed."

"Did all this happen in the back of your car?" he asked before wincing as she used rubbing alcohol on his cheek.

She smiled like she had a secret, more to mess with him than anything else. "Can't remember,"

"Aw, come on!"

"I mean maybe we went back to his secret lair, but all I remember is the feel of his taught, muscular body." she said, all breathless and melodramatic.

"I'm surprised it didn't turn into a scene from a romance novel." Roy joked as she taped a square of gauze to the abrasion on his shoulder.

"Maybe it did," she muttered quietly without realizing it.

Roy gawked at her. "No way."

It was her turn to wince. "I didn't mean that."

"Yes, you did. I can tell."

Dammit. She'd been doing so great at lying, too. Oh, well. "Don't tell anyone, please."

"You had sex with the Hood!" he exclaimed in a screaming whisper. "Wait, I thought you said you've never seen his face?"

"Still haven't."

"Holy crap,"

"And it was just that one time." Felicity began patching up the rest of him. "It was just a… thing. That happened. Granted, it was an amazing, supremely hot thing that happened, but just a thing."

"You had sex with the Hood," he repeated dazedly. "Weirder still, he had sex with you. No offense, but—"

"Yeah, I'm not his expected type. Totally aware of that."

"So, are you guys…?"

"No. We care about each other, but that's it. He has the emotional range of a teaspoon. Probably less than that, actually. He's pretty chill about killing people. And about having sex with me. He just went for it, you know? Like a wolf on a rabbit—"

"Felicity, ew."

"Oh, sorry."

"When did that happen, anyway?" he questioned, lifting his arm so she could bandage a cut on his side.

She shrugged. "Like a day before V—" Felicity pursed her lips, her eyes wide.

Roy's eyes widened, too. "Before what?"

"Veteran's Day."

"Bullshit."

"No, really!"

"You had sex with him one day before you had sex with Oliver!" He stared at her stomach, his jaw dropping. "That could be—"

"Shush!" she demanded, slapping her hand over his mouth. He groaned in pain when she hit his split lip.

He replied with a series of mumbly sounds that probably translated to "That could be the Hood's baby!"

It seemed she had lied to the point of accidentally implying the truth. Dammit dammit dammit. Frustrated, she removed her hand from his mouth. "I just need to take care of your knees and we're done." She quickly rifled through the box for the big waterproof Band-Aids.

"You know, if I didn't like you so much, I'd probably use this as blackmail to make you help me find the Hood."

She whipped her head around angrily, expecting a smug look on his face. What she found was sympathy. It actually made her tear up a little, knowing how badly he wanted to find the vigilante. Damn hormones. "That's sweet, Roy."

"Yeah, I have my moments." He fished a Band-Aid out of the box and applied it himself. Felicity did the other, and they were finally done.

"Alright," Felicity announced as she shut the box. "Get out of my room, you dirty hoodlum. The pregnant lady needs her sleep."

Roy slid off the bed and slowly knelt down to gather his clothes. "What, is Baby Hood gonna come out here and kick my ass if I don't?"

She couldn't help smiling. "That's what I've been calling him. I mean, up until I decided to name him after Oliver's dad."

Struggling, Roy held onto the bedpost to avoid getting on his knees. "Did the Hood think… you know, when you told him…?"

"I told him about Oliver, and he went along with it. And Oliver's the one I'm in love with anyway, so…"

"Guess we just have to hope the kid's not born wearing a green hood."

She nodded. "Fingers crossed,"

Watching him toil was too much, so she gathered the rest of his things and helped him stand. Then she walked him to the door.

"Now go to bed, Roy," she commanded, gingerly shoving him out into the hallway.

"You can't tell me what to do!" he retorted indignantly, a joking undertone in his voice. "I'm going to watch TV."

"Yes I can and no you are not." she replied matter-of-factly.

"The hell is going on?" They turned to see Oliver walking towards them. "Roy, why did you come out of her room in your underwear?"

Felicity stifled a giggle. It was hard to see his many injuries in the dim light, so the situation appeared to Oliver as something else entirely.

"This so isn't what it looks like," she explained, trying not to laugh. "Roy went out and got his ass handed to him, so I was cleaning him up."

"Hey!"

"Oh, please, Roy. Like no one was going to notice in the morning. Off to bed."

He did as she said, but he clearly wasn't happy about it. She smiled at him fondly before bringing her attention back to her boyfriend.

"Nightmare?"

"Maybe,"

"Okay, tough guy," She kissed his nose. "I'd appreciate a cuddle buddy tonight, anyway."

"I'm no one's cuddle buddy," he said in his Hood voice, but she could just make out the slight upturn of his lips.

"Okie dokie, sextoy," she said with a shrug. "I just want to get to bed. You comin' or what?"

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a deep kiss. "So long as we don't go to sleep immediately."

"Mmmm," Why did he always have to be so yummy? "Deal."