CHAPTER 3
Vernon landed in a large river with a resounding splash.
He swam up to the surface, thankful he was all in one piece. His cooler bobbed up as well, and the broom came up soon after. Vernon swam over to the supplies, and dragged them over to where the Firebolt lay floating.
As he swam over, Vernon noticed something horrific. The broom had snapped in two. Vernon cringed. He wasn't worried about Harry, but his godfather was surely going to find out about this. Vernon knew he had to figure out a way to fix the broom, or his non-existent neck would be on the line.
Vernon got out of the river, carrying his supplies and broken broom, and looked around. He finally took a good look at his surroundings and realized- he was in Venice. Vernon marveled at the beautiful city. Just then, a young man and woman walked up next to him. It looked as if their clothes had been picked out by an alien who didn't know what people looked like. The man took a wand out of his pocket and swung it into the air, almost knocking Vernon back into the river.
"Hey, watch it!-" Vernon started, before a large, purple, gondola filled with beds appeared out of thin air in the middle of the river.
Vernon stuttered for a bit as one of the two men on the boat began to talk.
"'Ello-a! Welcome-a too the Crusada' Gondola. My name-a's Stanio Shunpike and I'll-a be conductin' you-a upon this fine-a evenin'."
Vernon stared at the men with his jaw dropped. The one conducting the couple onto the gondola was wiry, and barely 20 years old. The other man stood in the front of the boat, holding a large oar. This one was elderly, with large glasses. Both men seemed to have poorly placed false mustaches, and large amounts of clothes underneath their gondolier outfits.
"Right-a this way... there we go-a... OY! Were you coming-a or not, mate?"
Vernon stared.
"Me?"
"Yes-a I'm talkin' to you! 'Onestly, it's not-a like you'll sink the boat-a or anythin'!"
Vernon, flustered, stepped into the gondola and sat on one of the beds. He set his cooler and Harry's broken broom down beside him.
"Take 'er away-a, Ernio!"
The elderly man with the paddle dug into the water. The boat zoomed forward at an alarming rate. Vernon was forced back onto the bed, and the bed rolled to the back of the gondola. The boat zipped and swerved through the rivers of Venice.
"So are you actually Italian?"
"Wha'? Oh, yeah, of course-a I am. The Shunpikes are a very proud-a and 'onorable Italian family, we are, and-"
"No you're not. That's clearly a fake Italian accent. And that mustache is even worse."
"All righ', I'm Bri'ish. So wha'? You are too."
"Why are you driving a gondolier around?"
"Well, see, we've go' this Knight Bus thing, and it can only go on land, righ'? So I was like, 'ey, Ern, wha' if we made one that goes on wa'er?! Brillian', eh?"
"And Ernio agreed with this plan?"
"Well, 'e don' say much. Bu' I'm sure 'e agreed, or else we wouldn' be here, would we?"
"But why a gondola? Why not just a motor boat or something?"
"Look, mate, do I tell you 'ow to run your life? Anyways, where you headin' off to?"
Vernon thought for a second.
"It has to be water right? Just off the coast of Japan, then."
"All righ'. It'll cost you 'bout 12 Galleons to go tha' far."
Vernon paled. He didn't realize he'd need wizard money to ride a wizard boat. He reluctantly took his watch off, thinking of Dudley.
"Will this cover it?"
The conductor looked at the watch. His eyes popped open.
"Sure, I suppose we can make some sor' of arrangemen'..." said Stanio, pocketing the watch.
Shunpike turned around and watched Ernio drive. Vernon lay down on the bed and shut his eyes.
As he lay there, Vernon thought of his life back home.
"Ironic," he thought, "that Potter is living in my world while I romp around in his."
And then he fell asleep.