CHAPTER 5

Vernon Dursley landed in a conveniently placed open-air pillow truck that just happened to be driving by. He sat up, dazed and confused. He looked down at the Playstation in his hands. He did it. He got Dudley's present. The neighborhood and his reputation were saved.

Vernon sat up and grabbed the broken broom & cooler. He jumped out of the pillow truck onto the ground. Now, all he had to do was find a way back home. He ran back to the shore from whence he came. The Cavalier Gondola was gone, or at least not as far as Vernon could see. He turned away, dejected. There had to be some way to get back! He couldn't repair the broom... and he didn't have enough money for a plane ticket... there had to be something!

Suddenly, Vernon saw two strange men walking past. One was Japanese, and wearing a bright purple suit. The other man was wearing a green suit and bowler cap. He was clearly European of some sort, perhaps even British. Vernon's suspicions were confirmed immediately when the green clothed man stopped and began to speak to the purple one.

"Kaito, I do ask you to reconsider your plans for next month." said the man in a clear, upper class English accent. "I mean, it is the world cup after all. I would be honored if you joined me up in the box. The Bulgarian Minister's already agreed to come, you know."

The man in purple then said something in Japanese that Vernon was unable to understand.

"Very well. If your plans can't be changed, then they can't be changed. Well, I must be off. I have a meeting with Bagman back in London in ten minutes. I hope to see you again soon."

The man in the green suit walked away. The man in purple walked in the other direction. Vernon stared. How could a man travel from Tokyo to London in only ten minutes? Vernon ran after him.

The man in the bowler hat walked into a cozy-looking coffee shop. The only person in the room besides him was the woman behind the counter, and she was busy listening to her headphones plugged into a portable CD player. The suited man looked around to see if anybody else was looking. He then walked over to an unlit fireplace in the back of the room and took a pinch of what looked like gunpowder out of his pocket. The man threw the powder into the chamber.

"The UK Ministry of Magic!" shouted the man. A green fire lit in the fireplace. The strange man walked in and shot upwards. Vernon knew this was the only way to get back home. He ran into the coffee shop and dove into the green fire just as it was disappearing.

Vernon coughed. Everything around him was black. Then he realized that his eyes were closed. Vernon opened his eyes and saw a very fancy office around him. The room was very big, and there was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling. Vernon had landed on a beautiful rug. There was a large mahogany desk in the back of the room, with a leather chair and a window behind it. It was mid-morning outside. The weather was perfect. There was a paper package on the chair with a tag labeled "Send uniform to Bradford's desk". On the desk were neat stacks of papers, a wriggling cloth bag, and a plaque with the name "Cornelius Fudge: Minister of Magic" written on it. Vernon opened the cloth bag. There were three creatures inside. They looked to be oddly shaped lizards, almost... dragon-like. They were made of plastic and painted, but they moved as if they were alive. Vernon closed the bag and backed away from the desk.

Vernon stopped. Ministry of Magic. He remembered that name, from somewhere... ah, yes. The letter Potter got after he dropped the cake on Mrs. Mason's head two years ago. That letter mentioned a ministry. That must be where he is. Being a government agency, he was probably in London...

Vernon rushed to the window and looked out. Maybe he could figure out where he was by looking at the city streets below. But alas, there was no city. There was nothing out the window but a grassy field with flowers down ten stories beneath them.

Vernon heard footsteps coming from outside the office and jumped. He couldn't be discovered here. For a start, he looked nothing like a wizard. He looked down at the chair and opened the package. There was a violet robe and pointed hat inside. He put the robe over his nightgown. Luckily, whoever this "Bradford" guy was, he was clearly as big as him. Vernon put on the hat just as a man walked into the room.

The man was tall, thin, and blond. His clothes were fancy and expensive-looking. The man's very presence was intimidating.

"Ah, Bradford. I'm glad I've finally met my new personal assistant. How the minister hired you without my consent, I have no idea."

"Uhh... pleased to meet you, Mr..."

"Malfoy. Lucius Malfoy. Did Cornelius not even tell you my name? Tsk, tsk. Well, we'll soon be rid of him. So, Bradford, tell me about yourself. Are you pureblood?"

"Of course! I pride myself on coming from a pure family with no deformities or oddities. Well, none except for my nephew."

"Ah, a squib. What a shame, what a shame. It happens to the best of us. Well, you just have to move on. Sever ties with him. Prune the whole lot."

"Oh, believe me, I've been trying to prune my nephew for the past thirteen years."

"Good. I'm glad we're hitting it off, Bradford. What happened to that broom?"

"Umm... broke on an international flight, I'm afraid. I'm going to buy a new one when I get off from work."

"Well, I hope you have enough money on you. Firebolts are expensive, especially for someone with your economic stature."

"Just because I'm a personal assistant doesn't mean I'm poor! I may not be quite as wealthy as the likes of you, but I have my creature comforts. Did you know that I've won the England's Best-Kept Suburban Lawn for EIGHT years in a row?"

"Wow, really? That's impressive. Yaxley's been trying to win that one for ages. I can see that Cornelius chose wisely when he hired you, Bradford."

Suddenly, a large man wearing rags stepped into the doorframe.

"Excuse me, Mr. Malfoy? My name is Bradford. I'm your new personal assistant. Have you seen the robes I was supposed to get today?"

Malfoy stared at the man. Vernon ran to the door, pushing past Malfoy and Bradford. He ran to the nearest elevator and pulled the lever. Malfoy, Bradford, and two men who looked like security guards were hot on his tail.

Vernon landed on the bottom floor and looked around. He saw a fireplace at the end of the hall with a green fire. He ran towards it, shouting the first place he could think of.

"Diagon Alley!" Vernon yelled as he ran into the fire.

As Vernon was sucked upwards, he thought he heard Malfoy saying something like "Personally, I like him better than the real Bradford."