Emma awoke to the blaring sound of her alarm, as if it was an unforgiving reminder of her decision to stay up until 2:00am the previous night. She rolled over and reached to turn the alarm off, bleary eyed and yawning. As she sat up in her bed, she looked around her cramped college dorm. She had lucked out with a single room (she had never really been that great with making friends), so she was granted the freedom to decorate her room exactly the way she wanted. She liked to think her limited belongings, originating from a jumble of different states, reflected her upbringing. Growing up in so many different homes gave her a unique perspective on life. She was a mixture of everything. A unique complexity that not everyone understood or wanted to take the time to unravel. She liked adventure, but was always cautious. She wanted a place to call home, but never wanted to be tied down. She craved friendship, but never opened up to anyone.
Well, almost never.
She shook her head, hoping that the physical action would dispel the thoughts of Neil out of her mind.
"This is supposed to be a fresh start," she breathed. "Stop thinking about him."
The inevitable slideshow of her best high school friend, Neil, played though her mind. To him, Emma had been a great friend; one who had always been there for him when he needed someone to talk to. To her, Neil had been one of her biggest torments. How could he have never noticed the almost cringe-worthy crush she had had on him over the last 4 years? Could he really be that blind? Since he never showed any signs of reciprocating her feelings, she had never told him how she felt. But now that she had graduated high school, she wished she had. At least she would've gotten some closure. Instead, she sat on the edge of her bed in her ratty pyjamas, getting late for her fourth official day of college, all while thinking of a pathetic high school crush.
Emma's eyes shot towards her clock. It was basically a guaranteed fact that she was going to be late. Groaning, she jumped out of her bed and threw on her bath robe. She grabbed her bathroom caddy and quickly made her way to the communal bathroom at the end of the hall. Luckily, most of the girls on her floor had finished getting ready, so she didn't need to dance around 15 bodies in order to complete her morning routine.
Emma took no more than 20 minutes to get ready. Bouncing between foster homes had taught her to value each minute of bathroom time in the mornings. She was nothing if not efficient.
She grabbed her bag and ran down three flights of stairs before pulling out her phone to check which class she had first. After figuring out that her lecture hall was on the west side of campus, she started walking towards the small café near her dorm building. If I'm going to be late either way, she thought, why deprive myself of my morning caffeine fix?
After picking up a small hot chocolate (with cinnamon of course), she started walking towards her first class, hoping that she wouldn't get lost. The campus was quite old and contained many buildings that were added after the college had been founded. This meant that the layout was choppy and confusing to anyone who wasn't gifted with a natural sense of direction. Emma would never admit it aloud, but she was not one of those people.
As she neared her destination, she noticed the large group of students walking towards her lecture hall. She saw a couple of students from her first class. She broke out into a half-jog in order to catch up with the group.
"Good morning!" called a cheery blonde classmate. She offered Emma a sympathetic smile after noticing the dark circles under Emma's eyes, "Rough night?"
"The mattresses feel like they're made of cardboard. Sleep is out of the question," Emma lied easily. Emma wasn't in the mood to explain to this girl that the true reason she couldn't sleep was that her hopeless feeling of homesickness gave her insomniac tendencies. How could she justify that she, a foster child who had never really had a home, feel like she's missing one?
As Emma entered the lecture room she scoured the rows, looking for an empty seat. Naturally, she picked one close to the back wall. Her old anti-social impulses weren't going to go down without a fight. She placed her paper cup on the table and settled into her chair. Just as she was about to place her head on her desk in the hopes of five more minutes of sleep before class began, a loud thump to her left made her immediately look up.
"Old habits die hard, huh?" said the person whose bag had been dropped on the floor next to Emma's seat, "Don't worry though, only the true badasses sit at the back". The black haired boy sat down in the chair next to Emma's and gave her a smile.
"Killian!?" Emma blurted out, completely caught off guard. Why was Killian Jones sitting next to her, in her lecture room of all places? Killian had been a great friend to her since the start of her freshman year in high school. Even when Neal was busy with his sports stuff or girlfriends or helping his Dad manage the shop, Killian was always there for Emma. She had mixed feelings when Killian had told her that he wanted a gap year. He had always loved traveling and he dreamt of getting out of their boring town and exploring the world. Emma admired that he actually had the guts to follow his dreams, but also wished that he'd stay with her. He was her rock, her anchor even. Her kept her grounded, but gave her freedom. He helped her when she needed him, but never interfered with her fierce independence. There was truly no better friend for her than Killian Jones.
"What happened to traveling abroad? You know, seeing the world and all that?" Emma demanded, turning her body to face his, "Why the hell are you sitting next to me when you should be drinking a pint in Ireland or something?!" She was completely dumbfounded as to why he'd give up his dream to sit in a classroom and accumulate student loans like the rest of their generation.
"Why, Swan," Killian put on a hurt face, "I thought you'd be happy to see me." He wiped away a fake tear, but couldn't keep a smile off his face. "All I wanted was to make your college years fun, you clearly lack the social skills to make that happen," he said while laughing.
"Well, you definitely can't let an opportunity to be a sassy little shit slide by, huh?" Emma retorted with a light tone. She could never stay mad at Killian.
"But seriously, what are you doing he– " Emma started just as their professor, winning the award for worst timing possible, chose that exact moment to call the class to attention, telling everyone to take out their textbooks and follow along with the lesson. Silence fell across the rows of students, effectively killing Killian and Emma's conversation. She looked at Killian, her eyes telling him that their conversation wasn't over. He responded by lifting his arms up in a surrendering gesture. He knew resistance was futile. He couldn't keep a secret from Emma even if life depended on it. She always had that effect on him, not to mention the fact that she could smell bullshit from a mile away.
When the lecture ended, Emma grabbed Killian by the arm to make sure he wouldn't try to escape before she could drown him in questions. There were not many people that Emma looked up to, she always tried to inspire herself rather than depend on someone else to do it, and Killian's passion towards everything that life offered him was one of the features that drew her to him and one of the things she hoped to one day adopt from Killian as well. Emma could not imagine any scenario which would lead Killian to give up his dreams of traveling, just by looking at Killian she could tell that he was meant for more than small town life. He was destined for culture, adventure, and discovery; she could never imagine him settling down and getting a degree. It seemed too trivial for someone like him.
"Okay, now you have to tell me. Why are you here?" demanded Emma as she walked alongside Killian to the large park in the middle of campus. As the two settled onto bench near the small duck pond on the edge of the park, Killian decided to tell her the whole story.
"I'm here because traveling the world wasn't an option anymore. The most logical thing to do at this point was to go to school. Get a job. Become something." Killian did not meet Emma's eyes, instead focusing on the patch of trees on the other side of the pond.
"And what brought all of this on? For the four years that we've been friends all you talked about was seeing the world. What changed?" Emma replied. She knew there was something he wasn't telling her.
"Emma… I was a child. Children dream of all kinds of things, like fighting dragons and marrying princesses," Killian finally look up at Emma, "I woke up is what happened. I realised that what I wanted was not what was best. It was time to stop being a child and start acting like a man," finished Killian, his voice sounding like he was repeating words that had been said to him. Emma finally put the pieces together; his father had never supported Killian's desires to travel the world. His father must have put a stop to Killian's plans.
"Killian, listen to me when I say this. There is no such thing as a childish dream. You will see the world someday, I promise you that. It may not be right this second, or even in the next four years, but I personally assure you that we'll see everything there is to see. Who knows, maybe you will end up marrying a princess," Emma smiled; she wanted Killian to know that he had at least one person validating his dreams. Everyone has a right to dream, she thought, I will not let him give up on this.
"So does that mean you'll be joining me then? When I finally get to experience the world?" Killian asked in a lighthearted tone, clearly feeling the benefits of Emma's pep talk.
"You can't get away from me that easily," Emma responded jokingly, happy to see that his mood was picking up. She couldn't handle seeing Killian so disheartened.
Killian returned Emma's smile and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, the tension that he'd been carrying around with him for the last month finally eased.
"I don't know what I'd do without you, Swan"