Steve paced outside the bathroom door in their bedroom. "Are you done yet?" he asked Sarah.

"Stop!" she yelled out from the other side. "You're giving me stage fright."

"Sorry," he laughed and went over to the bed, sitting on the edge. He rested his elbows on his knees and impatiently tapped his heel on the floor, staring at the door.

He finally heard the toilet flush and jumped up, greeting her as she came out.

Sarah held the white stick in her hand, looking down at the window on it.

"So," he asked, "what's it supposed to do?" He stood in front of her, examining it with the same intensity.

"If there is a blue line, that means no. If it turns pink with a plus sign, that means yes."

"How long does it take?"

"One minute I guess."

He looked up at her, surprised over that. In one minute they would know if they were going to be parents or not. It was a surreal feeling but one that he felt charged about. He focused back on the white stick and just like they both had predicted, the pink plus sign slowly began to appear.

"Oh my God," Sarah whispered, looking up at him.

He smiled brightly at her, "I guess I do as I'm told."

She laughed throwing her arms around his neck as he hugged her back. "I'm pregnant!" she yelled out, jumping up and down on her tippy toes.

He kissed her neck as he lifted her up, gently shaking her. "That's my girl." He set her down running his hands over her hair and cupping the back of her neck, caressing her cheeks with his thumbs, never seeing her look so happy. It made his heart soar. "I love you," he said to her.

She reached up and kissed him. "I love you too." She laid her head on his shoulder as his arms went around her neck, holding her close. The tears came next as the excitement grew. She was carrying his baby. She thought nothing could top her wedding day, but this was a whole new form of happiness that was indescribable.

He closed his eyes, burying his hand in her hair as he kissed her on the forehead. The different set of emotions that were rushing through him was powerful. He was elated, scared and proud all at the same time, but above all he felt love. He loved her so much but he also felt an overwhelming love for the little tiny being that was growing inside of her. She was the one that would care and nurture it for the next nine months until it was born, but then it was his duty to care for both of them and make sure they were kept warm and safe for the rest of his life. His responsibility of a man just doubled in the last minute. It would be the hardest mission he'd ever take on, but it was also going to be the most rewarding, and he couldn't have been happier about it.

Steve came in to work, stopping at Danny's office door. He leaned against the frame, still smiling, wondering if he would ever stop.

He looked up at him from the papers on his desk. "Hey, good morning."

He didn't reply but just continued to smile.

Danny narrowed his eyes at him. "What? Did the Governor finally approve that budget for grenades and a flame thrower," he teased.

"Sarah's pregnant," he blurted out.

Danny's eyes got big, "Holy crap! That was quick!" He stood up and came around as Steve met him halfway. "Congratulations Buddy." He grabbed his hand and put his other arm around his shoulder as they gave each other a quick hug.

"Thanks. We didn't want to wait." He stepped back, "Besides, I'm not getting any younger."

"Oh yeah," Danny rolled his eyes. "You're almost ready for a nursing home."

Steve laughed. "I'm still in a bit of shock over it."

"How far along is she?"

Steve shrugged, counting back to the wedding, "About five weeks. The wedding night I'm guessing."

"Did you not use the gifts I left you on the bed?" Danny joked.

Steve smiled over that memory.

"So how do you feel?" Danny asked him.

"Happy. Scared. Happy," he chuckled, "scared!"

"That's exactly how you should feel. How's Sarah? Has she stopped jumping up and down yet?"

Steve laughed. "She already started cleaning out the spare bedroom. She made me haul some boxes down to the garage before I left for work."

"Patient and helpful," Danny advised. "Just be patient and helpful. That's my best bit of advice I can give you."

"I'll take it."

Sarah laid out a blanket on the floor, using it as a model for the placement of the crib. She used a beach towel for the changing table and another towel for the dresser. She stepped back and looked at the arrangement when she heard him come home.

"I'm up here," she yelled over her shoulder. "In the babies room," she added with a small giggle.

He maneuvered around boxes, a mattress, the frame and an old desk and chair, making his way to the stairs. "Sarah," he scolded her as he came up, "You should have waited until I got home."

He came in the room up behind her, putting his arms around her body, smiling over the arrangement. "You've been busy."

She leaned back against him. "I got excited and started moving stuff." She glanced back up at him. "I'll let you move them into the garage," she smiled.

"Well that's nice of you, thanks." He moved up next to her. "So what is what here?" he asked, pointing at the towels and blanket.

She explained each item and why she had chosen each particular spot. "I thought the crib would be nice by the window and the changing table should be closest to the crib and the dresser…well that was the only wall left."

He nodded as if he agreed, but wouldn't have challenged her anyway.

"How much is my budget for the furniture?" she asked, biting her bottom lip.

He laughed, "By the look on your face I'm guessing you already priced it, bought it or saw it, and the damage is going to be pricey."

She put her hands over her mouth, squirming just a bit over that assumption because he had nailed her on it. "You have to think of it this way," she explained.

"Oh God, here it comes," he rolled his eyes.

"We can use the same furniture over and over. It's not like we'll just use it this one time."

"Oh wow!" he teased her by playing along. "That's brilliant! In that case I think the skies the limit."

She playfully reached out to punch him in the gut when he grabbed her arm, pulling her in close. She put her arms around him, looking up at his grin. "Seriously, what do think?"

"I think you should buy whatever is safest, sturdiest and prettiest. I don't care what you spend."

"You don't?" she smiled sweetly over that offering.

"Nope. I want you to be happy and if it costs a couple hundred extra bucks then so be it."

"Well, there is this one crib I found. It comes from Paris."

"Paris?" His expression turned pained until he realized she was joking. In retaliation, he reached around the back of her neck for her tickle spot as she screamed out.

"No! Stop!" she laughed. "I'm sorry! I didn't mean it!" She tried to squirm away from him but was laughing too hard.

He let go of her, laughing with her. "Tell me again where it's from? Toy r Us maybe?"

She backed away and held up his wallet that she had lifted out of his back pocket. "Paris France!" she said, waving it at him. He went to swipe it out of her hands and she moved it quickly out of the way. "Too slow."

He walked toward her slowly, "Don't make me Sarah, because I will."

"Blah, blah, blah," she teased him, holding the wallet up again. "Don't make me Steve, because I will," she mocked him. "Paris crib. Italian changing table."

He lunged at her, taking her around the body and laying her down on the floor effortlessly.

She held on around his neck, laughing with him until she was sprawled out flat giggling. "Do you think we'll still have this much fun, even after we have kids?"

He braced himself up on his elbows over top of her. "Sure. If we make the time." He leaned down and kissed her.

"I'm so excited. The next year is going to be crazy."

"I know. But in a good way."

"Will you still love me even when I get huge?"

"Yes. You'll look beautiful." He slid down her body lifting up the bottom of her shirt, kissing her belly. "Will you still love me even if you get sick and tired of my hands all over your stomach?"

"I will never, ever get tired of your hands on me." She stroked hers over his hair as spoke to the baby.

"Hello in there. This is your Dad talking."

"Daddy," Sarah corrected him.

He grinned up at her and then resumed, "This is your Daddy talking. You're Mommy and I are very excited that you're here. You be a good baby and when you come out, we'll take extra good care of you. Plus, the furniture alone will be worth coming out for," he looked up at her and winked.

"It'll be safe, sturdy and pretty," she repeated his request.

"Just like your Mom's tummy." He rubbed his hand over it. "I can't believe there's a little tiny part of us in here," he said amazed, kissing it again. "I'm really not going to be able to keep my hands off of you. I hope you know I'm not joking about that." He moved up, lying out next to her, bracing his head on his hand and keeping the other one on her belly.

"And I hope you know that I don't care. For the next seven and a half months this body is open for business, twenty-four hours."

He raised an eyebrow, moving on top of her. "Really, so I can visit as often as I like?"

She stroked her hands over his back, "Have I ever denied you entrance?"

"No," he chuckled, "I guess not, but it's still kind of a turn on just hearing you say it."

She rolled her eyes, "Me brushing by you on my way to the bathroom in a baggy shirt and old sweats is a turn on for you," she laughed.

"That's not my fault," he began kissing her neck, "I can't help it if my wife is scorching hot."

She hugged him for that, knowing that was an exaggeration on his part. Yet, he made her feel that way all the time. She had slowly come to the realization that he really did see her that way. That was a turn on for her more that anything else. She was sure he could have had anyone he chose, yet he chose her and now she was carrying his baby. The love in this house was overwhelming sometimes, knowing nothing could ever come between them. She would never allow it. Ever.

Steve came down the steps of Headquarters behind Danny on their way to a crime scene. "I'll be out in a minute," he said to him, making his way over to Sarah's desk.

He squatted down next her, putting his hand on her stomach. The same ritual he performed on a regular basis since finding out almost six weeks earlier that she was expecting. "I'm not sure what time I'll be home tonight. Don't wait up for me."

She nodded, putting her hand over top of his. "Please be careful, and text me every once in a while."

"Ok," he agreed. It was a request she had begun to ask for over the last couple of weeks. It gave her peace of mind when he was out in the field working. She didn't say it but he could tell she worried about him more now that she was pregnant. "I'm always careful, but extra careful now," he reassured her, patting her belly.

She leaned over, not caring that she was at work and kissed him. "I love you."

"Love you too, both of you," he replied standing up. "I'll let you know what's going on."

She waved to him as he backed up, hating to see him leave. She didn't know what it was lately but she had this constant fear of losing him. She didn't tell him about it, not wanting to upset him but she just couldn't shake it. She had even dreamt the night before that she opened the front door to greet him and Danny was standing there with a horrified expression, and she just knew what he was going to tell her. She woke up sweating, reaching over to feel that he was still there, almost crying over the thought of it. She knew it just had to be because her hormones were all over the place.

It was going to be a long six months if she kept this up.

Steve came in the front door quietly, trying not to wake Sarah. He got as far as the bottom step when he heard her. He raced up the stairs not stopping until he was at the bathroom door.

"Sarah," he said pitifully when he saw her. "Oh honey."

Sarah knelt on the floor of the bathroom with her face over the toilet bowl, vomiting. She blindly reached up on the counter for the towel as another wave of nausea hit her. She began to gag wondering when it was going to end. There was literally nothing left in her stomach to throw up.

He grabbed the towel on the sink and wet the end, kneeling down beside her.

She heaved again into the toilet as he reached up taking her hand. She squeezed it as another dry heave made her body convulse.

He used the towel to wipe off her face as she sat up.

"I think…" she stammered in a weak voice. "I think it's done."

He rubbed her back as she laid her head against him. "Just relax for a minute."

She did just that as he used the towel again to cool her face off. She looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry sweetie," he consoled her, caressing her back.

"Motherhood," she halfheartedly grinned.

He knew it wasn't his fault but he felt guilty anyway whenever she got sick, which was happening more often. It also worried him. "You should call and move up your doctor's appointment," he suggested. "Let him know about this."

She leaned back and smiled over his concern. "It's just like morning sickness, only mine happens at night. It's perfectly normal."

He stood up as she began to do the same, helping her off the floor. "I don't like it."

"Neither do I, but it's apart of the process."

She went to the sink, rinsing her mouth out as Steve squeezed some toothpaste on her toothbrush, knowing she would want it and then holding it out to her. "Is it something you're eating or not eating that could help?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter. It's ok," she reassured him. "I feel better now anyway. I'm actually hungry."

He shook his head, chuckling over that remark as she started to brush her teeth. He stepped into the bedroom and took his shirt and pants off from the day, changing into a pair of sweats. He was all done by the time she came out.

She was all smiles and back to the normal Sarah. "There's still some meatloaf and mashed potatoes from dinner the other night," she said with an eager smile. "I'll heat some up for us."

"Are you sure you're up for that?" he asked, following her down the stairs, amazed at her quick turn around.

"Yes. I told you, I feel fine. I have to eat." She stopped half way down and turned back to him. "I also read in my pregnancy book that expectant women have a surge of hormones that increase their sex drive, so I think I would like some of you after dinner too."

She was defiantly feeling better which delighted him. "You know I will do anything to make you happy. So if I must, I must."

Sarah collapsed on top of him, letting her body come down from the workout.

Steve moved his hands over her back, closing his eyes needing sleep after the long day and then this. He was perfectly happy falling asleep with her in the same position but she rolled off of him, resting on his arm, nestling close against the side of him.

"Hmm," she purred, "I feel so much better now."

He squeezed her, smiling with his eyes still closed. "I'm sorry," he mumbled, "but I'm going to be out in about ten seconds."

She reached down and pulled the sheets over top of them. "Go to sleep my handsome prince," she whispered reaching up and kissing his cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too," he replied sleepily, "both of you." His other hand came across his body, touching her belly. The smile on his face relaxed as he drifted off.

Sarah woke up several hours later still in the same position. She could feel rumblings in her stomach again but it felt different this time, not queasiness but more like a cramp. She attributed it to the sexual workout she put her body through earlier, smiling over the memory, glancing up at Steve as he slept.

The cramp intensified and she moaned, reaching down and trying to rub away the pain, but it didn't alleviate the discomfort. She pulled the covers off and carefully scooted to the other side, trying not to wake him. The second she stood up she felt light-headed, sitting back down again. She glanced over her shoulder as he rolled over away from her. She felt another cramp, only this time in her back. The pain shot through her body and she leaned forward bracing her hand on the nightstand. "Ouch," she moaned, feeling another one coming, wondering if maybe she shouldn't have eaten that meatloaf like he suggested. She rose up again and was making her way to the bathroom when she felt something running down the inside of her leg.

"Oh geez," she thought amused. "Did I pee my pants?" She had read in her book that could happen, but she thought it would be more toward the end of her pregnancy, not the beginning.

She closed the door to the bathroom before she turned the light on. She glanced up in the mirror at her reflection when another pain hit her, doubling her over the sink. "Oh God!" she groaned, feeling more moisture running down her leg and a set of cramps that were more intense that anything she had ever experienced before. She gripped the edge of the sink with both hands and looked down, and that's when she saw it. Blood ran down her legs, dripping on the floor.

"Oh no! Oh no!" she cried out just as another cramp raced through her. She went to her knees, clutching her stomach, trying to hold on to the sink but the pain was too great. She let go and lay down on her side, curling up in a ball as the labor pains increased. She felt faint, wanting to cry out for him but she just couldn't. She felt another one coming and closed her eyes, trying to catch her breath, whimpering and shaking. It was frightening beyond words what was happening to her, all the while the blood just kept coming. She could feel herself slipping away, over come by the pain and the fear of losing her baby.

She heard his voice and opened her eyes seeing him leaning over her. She had never felt so weak in her entire life. He wrapped the sheet from the bed around her and lifted her off the floor.

Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion as he carried her down the steps and then out the front door, leaving it open behind them.

She passed out and awoke with her head in his lap. At first she thought she was in an ambulance by the sound of the sirens, but then realized they were in his truck. She looked up at him, seeing him steering with one hand and holding her around the body with his other. The truck jerked as he swerved in and out of the late night traffic, avoiding the cars that tried to move out of his way as he approached them from behind.

He looked down for just a second, catching her eye.

"It's ok, Sarah. We're almost there, honey."

She could hear the fear in his voice. It scared her. "The baby," she cried.

He stopped in front of the entrance to the ER and opened his door, getting out.

"Where are we?" she asked confused.

"The hospital Sarah." It frightened him that she was this incoherent. He got a hold of her under the arms and started to slide her out when she grabbed the steering wheel.

"No," she fought him. "Don't take me in there. Please," she pleaded, fearing if she went in they'd take the baby from her. "I want to go home."

"Sarah, let go!" He reached inside, prying her fingers off.

"Please Steve," she begged him as he pulled her out the rest of the way and carried her inside.

He hurried down the corridor behind the nurse as she led him through two double doors and then to the nearest vacant room. A doctor appeared within seconds as he laid her down. Sarah clung to his shirt, still fighting him. Not understanding why he would want to stay there.

"Please take me home," she pleaded with him, refusing to cooperate until he finally laid across her upper body and pinned her down. "Sarah stop," he said calmly, trying to ease her down. "Please Sarah. Let them help you. Everything's going to be ok." He stroked his hand over her head. "Would I take you someplace that was bad?" He'd never imagined ever seeing her this way. It was almost as frightening as the ordeal itself. "Please Sarah," his voice mirroring her pleas, "Let them help you and the baby, ok?"

She laid out flat and closed her eyes, still whimpering but doing as she was told. "Don't hurt my baby, please."

Steve moved to the end of the bed as they closed the curtain to the room. He held her head still and talked to her as they started an IV. The nurse began to inject a needle into the IV when he spoke up.

"What is that?"

"It's Haldol," she said confidently. "It'll help calm her."

"She's pregnant," he reminded her.

She looked at him pitifully, "It's ok. It won't hurt her."

He knew by the look on her face that she knew the baby was already gone.

They pulled out the stirrups, setting her feet into them.

He closed his eyes and continued whispering to her, not able to watch what was happening. It was horrible and grotesque, it was the worst moment of his life.

His voice was soothing and she succumbed to the commotion in the room. "I want to go home," she whimpered softly before going to sleep.

Steve came down the corridor of the ER holding a cup of half drunken coffee. Out of the seven beds only three were occupied besides Sarah's; a little boy in one and an older woman in another. They had been there for five hours and this was the first time he even noticed other people. She had slept through the whole procedure and continued to sleep since he'd left to go find coffee. His concern over the baby had turned to a deep fear of losing her as well during the ordeal. The drive to the hospital was the worst, fighting with himself if he had made the right decision to take her or should he have waited for an ambulance.

As he neared her room he saw the doctor come from around the curtain. He hurried up to him, dropping his coffee in an open trashcan.

"Hey," he said, getting his attention, not knowing his name. It was trivial to him at this point. "Is everything ok?"

"Yes, she's doing better. She's awake."

He glanced over to the curtain. "Does she know?"

"Yes. We talked about it and she's fully aware of what happened."

"Is she going to be ok?"

He nodded, "She lost a lot of blood and is tired but I don't see any lingering effects because of the miscarriage. But you should make an appointment with your OB GYN as soon as possible. I know you want an answer as to why this happened, but I can only say to you the same thing I said to Sarah. There is no rhyme or reason for these situations sometimes. It's not her fault it's just a matter of nature taking a different course. There's no way to predict it or stop it," he sighed wishing he could give him more. "Anyway, I signed off on her release and the paperwork is being completed. You should be able to go to pretty soon."

"You're sure she's ok to go home?"

"Yes. She'll be tired and sleep a lot. If she starts to get cramps beyond say a measure five for pain then bring her back in. Or," he paused, "if the depression sets in and it becomes a concern, then let your regular doctor know right away."

That concerned him now. "I've never seen her like that before, when I brought her in here. Is she still…" he didn't finish it not wanting to use the word hysterical.

"She's calm and understands. The reaction she had earlier my not have been normal to you but I've seen it many times before. She was just reacting to the traumatic situation."

Steve nodded, getting the point that she was just in a state of panic. "Thanks for your help."

"The nurse should be in soon with the release papers and I prescribed some pain medication for Sarah too. I just gave her some a little while ago so when you get home and settled, give her another dose. It'll help her sleep too. No exertion for a couple of days. Sleep."

He left him standing there going into the room with the older woman.

Sarah felt a hand on her face, opening her eyes. He looked tired and worn down. The sadness on his face mirrored what she was feeling inside.

She wasn't as pale as when he first brought her in but she looked exhausted, and sad. The sorrow that showed on her was heartbreaking. He had nothing to say that would take it away. He sat on the edge of the bed facing her. "I'm sorry." Was all he could think to say, because it's what he felt. He was sorry for her, sorry the baby, sorry for himself, sorry for both of them.

She nodded, looking up at him as if apologizing. "I'm sorry too."

That hurt worst than any of it, that she would even consider it her fault. He went to put his arms around her when the nurse came in. He looked over his shoulder at her, and then focused back on Sarah as she stared at him as if waiting for absolution, needing to know if he blamed her too. The nurse began the ritual of describing the release but she was ignored by both of them. Steve looked down, taking her hand and bringing it up to his lips. "I love you," he said to her, but it was his eyes that told her more than his words. She could see that she had wounded him with that statement. The guilt slid off of her, but she wondered if the pain of this loss ever would. Not sure if she could ever risk going through this again.

Steve came in through the front door that was still open from when they left the night before. He had his arm around Sarah as she tried not to think about the room upstairs that had been vacated and primed too be turned into a nursery. "I don't want to go upstairs," she said to him.

He led her over to the couch, understanding her request. "Ok, just lie down here and I'll get you a blanket."

He held on to her until she was sitting and then guided her back, setting a pillow from the couch behind her head. "Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

She shook her head, closing her eyes.

He ran upstairs into the bedroom, taking the quilt off the bed. He gathered it up in arms as he looked toward the bathroom, seeing traces of her blood still on the floor by the door. He stared at the mess, recalling the panic of finding her there, knowing what was happening and those horrific few seconds as he reached down feeling for a pulse.

He heard his name being called from downstairs and turned away from the mess, going back down to her.

He laid the blanket over her, "Here," he said, holding out a glass of water and two pills. "Take these, it's for the pain."

She did as she was told, sitting up as he helped her. She drank most of the water and lay back down, looking up at him. "You look so tired."

"I'm all right."

"What time is it?"

"A little before seven." He reached down taking her hand. "Sarah, I think…"

"I don't want to talk about it now," she said, cutting him off.

He understood, kissing her on the forehead, letting her know that he did.

He pulled the blanket up around her as she closed her eyes. He almost reached for her belly out of habit but quickly caught himself, feeling the loss. He couldn't deal with it now, he had too much to do before she woke up.

He went in the kitchen and out through the back door, sitting on the steps down to the yard. He held his phone in his hand, pulling up Danny's number.

He answered on the third ring. "Hey, what's up," he asked, buttoning up his shirt.

"I'm not going to be in today," Steve said flatly, "I won't be for a couple of days."

"What?!" Danny blasted him. "It's all that paperwork that's due isn't it? Ditching me to go play?" he joked.

"Sarah had a miscarriage last night," he said with a sigh, staring out at the water as the phone went silent. It was surreal saying it out loud, wondering why it didn't hurt more. Maybe he was still in shock, he thought.

"Oh God Steve," he groaned, sitting down on his bed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I just need to be here for a couple of days."

"Yeah, of course. Family comes first, take as much time as you need." He felt his pain. "How's Sarah?"

"Sleeping. Depressed, Sore. They let her come home which surprised me. She lost a lot of blood."

"Is she going to be ok?" he asked concerned.

"They said she was."

"That's good," Danny replied. "Rachel had a miscarriage before we had Gracie." He confessed.

"She did?" Steve asked shocked over that information. "I never knew that."

"It's not something you really talk about. She was only about five weeks along. We didn't even know she was pregnant yet. But within four months she was already expecting again with Grace, and you know how that turned out. So there is a light at the end of this dark tunnel. You know that right?"

"Yes. It's just that right now it's kind of hard to think that way."

"I know, but you will. I promise you will." He paused. "How are you handling it?"

Steve dropped his head in his hand, feeling the sleepless night catching up with him. "I don't know. I'm numb right now." he looked back up toward the water. "Does that make me sound like a prick?"

"No," Danny reassured him. "It makes you sound like the Dad. You have to be that way for Sarah, it's built into our DNA."

Steve huffed, "I guess."

Danny could hear the anguish in his voice. "You guys are a strong couple, Steve. You'll work through this. Don't be afraid to lean on Sarah either. She's good at that."

He didn't know how to do that. She was in such a fragile state right now. "Yeah, ok," he said to appease him. "I have to go. There's some stuff I want to get done before she wakes up."

"If you need anything…" he left it at that, knowing he didn't have to finish it.

"Thanks Danny. And thanks for telling me about you and Rachel. That helps."

"Ok buddy, give Sarah a kiss for me. I'll talk to you later."

He sat on the steps for a couple more minutes after hanging up, watching the sun as it made its brilliant appearance for the day. It was going to be a beautiful day everywhere on the island, except in his house.

He pushed himself up and went into the laundry room, gathering the supplies he needed. He checked on Sarah as she slept soundly on the couch before going up stairs carrying a bucket of water, some rags and a bottle of cleaning fluid.

He stood outside the bathroom door, trying not to look at the blood on the floor. He got down on his hands and knees and started wiping it up, keeping his eyes down and focusing only on what was in front of him. He dipped the rag in the bucket that instantly turned red. He turned his head away as he rung it out, fighting back the tears that had begun to form, wiping his face on the sleeve of his t-shirt.

He set the rag down again as red water squeezed out from it. The haunting thought came to him that this had been apart of his baby. All of this had once shielded and protected it inside of Sarah, and now he was mopping it up off the bathroom floor. The night came crashing down on him as he sat back against the door frame staring at the red floor through blurred vision. All the joy, excitement and happiness they had experienced over the last couple of months was gone. He didn't fight it anymore, it was useless. He wanted to grieve for his unborn baby and feel the loss that was all too real as sat there and cried openly.

He allowed himself only so much time, still needing to get the job accomplished. After several minutes he used one of the clean rags to wipe his face off before continuing on. It was actually a relief and somewhat calming afterward. He thought of Sarah downstairs and how she must feel. She had been carrying it for the past three months, feeling the flutters that she described like butterfly wings flapping around. He remembered liking that description. She didn't deserve this, he thought. He believed Danny's advice was going to be their salvation. They needed to try again.

He stepped out of the shower to a pristine bathroom, wrapping a towel around his waist. He scanned the area once again just incase he missed a shred of evidence from the night before. He didn't want Sarah to see a drop of it, knowing how traumatic it could be. He'd already thrown the rags away instead of washing them and took them to the trashcan outside. He scrubbed the bucket clean and then went upstairs and did the same to himself.

He came in the bedroom and as he dressed he looked at the bed that was vacant of the quilt, which was downstairs covering Sarah, but the top sheet was somewhere in a hospital garbage can.

He went over and pulled the bottom sheet off and re-made the bed with fresh ones, taking the old one out to the garbage can with the rags. There was no need for it anymore and he couldn't imagine ever sleeping on it again.

As he passed the kitchen he thought about food, but was too tired to make anything. He just wanted sleep. He went to go upstairs and stopped looking over at Sarah as she still slept, which pleased him. He forewent the bed upstairs needing to be close to her.

He sat down on the floor next to the couch carefully taking her hand. He went to lay his head on it when he saw her looking at him.

His eyes were bloodshot, but she'd seen him exhausted before, but this time it wasn't weariness that she saw in them. She sensed that he'd been crying. That thought alone about broke her heart, realizing that she had been feeling the loss but forgetting that he too had lost a baby. She scooted forward on the couch, pulling on his hand, "Lay down with me."

"I don't want to crowd you," he said, afraid she might still be sore.

"Never," she gently smiled, pulling again until he took his place behind her, having shared this position many, many times while watching TV or a movie.

She snuggled back against him as his arm came over her body. He went to rest it on her stomach and then quickly moved it down to her thigh. She knew what he was avoiding, that ritual he had performed hundreds of times over the last couple of months, but she didn't want any part of her body to seem awkward to him so she took his hand and brought it back to that place. "We'll try again," she said softly, glancing over her shoulder at him for his reaction.

He looked down at her, seeing that light at the end of the tunnel that Danny had spoken of. "We'll try again," he repeated, kissing her cheek. "I love you Sarah."

She squeezed his hand shifting her body to get even closer to him. "I love you too."

They slept the rest of the day.