*Author's note: Sorry this took so long to update! I'll definitely try to be faster next time!*
Sam groaned when his alarm clock went off. It was too early and he was not looking forward to the day. Today was his first day of school since the accident. He hit the snooze button and heard a soft knock on his door. "Sam?" Kevin called quietly as he peered around the corner. "Are you awake?"
Sam mumbled something incoherently before turning over to face Kevin. "I'm not excited for school," he grumbled, rubbing his eyes.
"I know," Kevin replied. "But at least we made arrangements with the principal and teachers. Remember, all you need to do is text me and I can come get you. We don't have to stay the whole day if you don't want to." Kevin grabbed some clothes for Sam and helped him into them. It had become routine already. Sam still felt his cheeks turn red when Kevin's fingertips brushed against his bare skin. He couldn't wait until he could do things for himself instead of being so dependent on Kevin and Linda.
Sam could already feel that Kevin was getting stronger. Kevin helped him into the chair, with Sam's broken arm it was still a little awkward. He wheeled him into the kitchen for breakfast. "What do you want for breakfast?" Kevin asked. "Cereal, toast, waffles?"
"Uh, I'll just have some toast, like usual," Sam answered, trying his hardest not to audibly sigh as he watched Kevin put the bread in the toaster. He smiled when Kevin's cat, Moo, jumped onto his lap. Sam had never had a pet before, but he always assumed he wouldn't like cats. Frankly, he thought all cats seemed like assholes, but Moo was really sweet, except when she would try to sleep on Sam's face at night. He looked up when he heard Kevin giggling. "What?"
"It's just cute," Kevin replied. Sam had unknowingly been cooing at the cat while he petted her. "She doesn't usually like people, but she loves you." Moo was purring loudly, pushing her face into Sam's hand.
"Well, she's the only cat I've actually been around," Sam admitted, looking down at the fluffy black and white cat in his lap. She was actually a tiny cat, but her long fur made her look a lot bigger. Kevin brought him his toast and he gently nudged the kitty off of his knee. "What am I going to do during second period? Today's supposed to be gym, right?"
"Yeah," Kevin responded, swallowing the spoonful of cereal he had in his mouth. "The gym teacher said that you can take a spare period instead of sitting in the gym, so maybe you can work on some of the stuff you missed in other classes. I always go to the library for my spares," he suggested.
"I guess…" Sam mumbled. "But before the accident I was already ahead in most of my classes." When Kevin gave him a confused look, he elaborated, "I really want to go to college, and when we were constantly moving I had to make sure that I didn't miss any of the coursework that could be on the final exam, and since no two teachers do things in the same order, I always work as far ahead as I can, especially in math, physics, and chemistry and I've already read almost everything I need to for English."
"Didn't you say that your English teacher randomly added assignments that weren't on the outline? Maybe you missed something like that," Kevin offered.
"Hopefully," Sam sighed as he finished his toast. He just wanted things to go back to normal. He was glad that he got to stay in one place for a while and that he could be with Kevin, but he missed his brother. As long as he can remember, Dean had been there to take care of him, they were all each other had. Now Sam had Kevin and Linda, but Dean didn't have anyone. If his brother was there, things would be a little easier. There'd be less to get used to, that's for sure.
Sam and Kevin got to school early because Sam didn't want to be pushed down a full hallway, everyone staring at him. But when they got through the front door, there was a sign saying that they had an assembly. Apparently they were going to hear from some sort of inspirational speaker. "Oh great," Sam thought, "Now there's no way to avoid the full hallway."
"Do you want to go home?" Kevin asked. "We can just come back for third period, or just come for the afternoon."
"Uh… no," Sam answered. As much as he'd like to go home, he knew that he shouldn't. "I won't be able to avoid people staring at me forever, so I should just get used to it. I can do this."
"Okay, if you're sure…" Sam nodded and Kevin started to wheel him towards the gym. He was about to open the doors when they burst open.
"Oh, sorry, Kevin!" It was Mr. Friesen, Sam's English teacher. "And Sam, how are you doing?" His voice changed completely when he spoke to Sam. It sounded fake, too sweet, and pitying.
"I've been better," Sam replied, doing his best to muster a smile. He hated when people spoke like that, when people spoke down to him. Just because he'd broken a few bones didn't mean he was any less of a human. "Did I miss any assignments in class?" he changed the subject, hoping the teacher would speak normally.
"Oh, yes. There are two assignments that you missed, but it's alright, you don't have to do them," Mr. Friesen responded, still talking down to him. "You must have a lot of other classes to get caught up in."
"Not really," Sam said flatly. "Can I come get the assignments after the assembly?"
"Sure, just come by my room," Mr. Friesen suggested. "Oh, let me get that for you!" He held the door open and Kevin wheeled him into the gym.
Kevin knew that Sam would want to sit in the corner farthest away from the stage and the doors, so he headed towards it. Thankfully, there was enough room behind the final row of chairs for Sam's wheelchair to get through, so they took their place and tried not to watch as other students came in. Sam could feel people's eyes on him. Usually the back row was the first to fill up, but most of the students seemed to be keeping their distance, probably unsure about what to say.
"I feel like everyone's talking about me," Sam whispered to Kevin.
"It's okay, they're probably just awkward because they don't want to make you feel awkward," Kevin offered.
"I know," Sam sighed. "But it makes me feel even more awkward. It's like everyone's afraid of me or something. I just want them to treat me like I'm normal." He looked up when the door opened and Bryce and his friends walked in. Bryce made eye contact with Sam for a brief moment before quickly looking away. "Look who it is," Sam muttered and Kevin turned to look.
"I wonder if they'll say anything," Kevin remarked.
Bryce and his friends sat down a few rows ahead of Sam and Kevin. Suddenly, Dave got up and walked towards Sam and Kevin. "Hey, Kevin, Sam," Dave started sheepishly. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry about what happened. Not just about the accident, but about making fun of you guys, too. I was a dick, and I'm sorry… Would you mind if I sat with you?"
Kevin and Sam exchanged glances before Sam spoke, "Thanks for the apology, that's huge. You can join us, I'm just a little curious why you want to…"
"I didn't like listening to them talk shit about you. They were saying that your accident was god trying to get rid of the gays and that your injuries happened because you're gay. I think both of you are really brave, and seeing you today made me realize just how much of a coward I was being," Dave explained. "I'm not a religious person, I don't believe that being gay is wrong or anything like that, but I was just scared that Bryce would start making fun of me if I spoke up. I really am sorry, I was such an idiot."
"You're forgiven, Dave," Kevin told him. "I'm glad that you stood up to him. Everyone makes mistakes." Kevin gave him a reassuring smile as the principal tried to get all of the students' attention.
Sam wasn't all that interested in what they speaker was talking about. She was trying to raise awareness about drugs and alcohol because her son got involved with it and ended up being murdered or something like that. He found himself dozing off about halfway through and missed it. He tried to focus on what she was saying, but he always just found himself thinking about the future and how much different it would be because of the accident. He wouldn't have to be a hunter, which was a good thing. He could actually go to college. He didn't have to move every few weeks.
The assembly took up more time than expected. By the time it was over, it was already almost halfway through second period. Sam and Kevin waited until everyone else was out of the gym before they left. "I think I'm just going to skip the rest of this period," Kevin announced when they stopped at his locker. "By the time I get to class there will be barely any class left."
They quickly stopped by the English room to get the assignments from Mr. Friesen. They were both creative writing assignments. He had to write a poem for one and a short story for the other. Kevin sat next to Sam at one of the computers in the library. He couldn't use pen and paper to write, so he was using his good hand to type out his assignment. "Do you want me to type for you?" Kevin asked.
"No, I don't!" Sam snapped. He knew that Kevin was just trying to help, but he was tired of feeling so useless. "Sorry, Kevin. I didn't mean to…"
"It's okay, Sam. I understand," Kevin smiled and gently rubbed Sam's back. Kevin knew he was lucky. He couldn't even begin to imagine what Sam was going through, what it would be like to go from being completely independent to needing help with absolutely everything in seconds. He hated what happened, hated that he could hear Sam crying when he thought everyone had gone to bed and the tears that formed in his eyes when he couldn't do the easiest task, like put on socks. Kevin knew that he should blame the other driver, and he did, but he felt responsible as well. If he wouldn't have suggested they go to the concert, this wouldn't have happened. If he had driven at the speed limit the whole time or if he would have stopped to get food like he wanted to, they would have missed the semi and Sam wouldn't be sitting in a wheelchair. Kevin looked at the time, "Do you want to leave for class early or do you want to get there late?"
"We can leave now," Sam replied, logging off of the computer. He didn't like using elevators to begin with, but the one at school was the worst. You needed a key to use it, thankfully Kevin remembered which pocket of his backpack it was in, and it was so slow. Sam was pretty sure Kevin could haul him up the stairs in the same amount of time it took for the elevator to stop. They waited outside the math class until the bell rang and the class that was in there previously filed out.
They went to take their seats at the back of class and when Kevin was wheeling Sam into his spot, they noticed that the desk was too low. "I'm sure we can find a way to raise it a little," Kevin assured him.
"It's fine," Sam responded. "I don't really need a desk right now anyway, I can't write," he motioned to his broken wrist. When the rest of the class came in, some said hi and smiled, some came up to him and asked how he was doing, and others just tried to avoid eye contact altogether. The teacher came in and explained what they'd been doing in class so far and told him to raise his hand if he had any questions, but he'd already read over this stuff and gone through the practice questions that were in the textbook. He was really glad he'd worked ahead.
In chemistry, Dave moved seats so he could sit at the table next to Sam and Kevin. "Hey guys look, Dave decided to join the fairies!" Bryce laughed. "Now there are three of them. Well, two and a half." The other guys burst into laughter.
"Oh, shut up asshats," Dave retorted. "Can't you give it a rest for one day?"
"Give what a rest? We're just telling the truth. Sam deserved what he got. He's an abomination and God is punishing him for it," Bryce said matter-of-factly.
"Hey," Kevin growled, standing up. "Shut the fuck up. No one's being punished, it's called an accident for a reason. Sam is ten times the man that you'll ever be. If you say one more negative or hateful thing towards him, you will be very sorry."
"Really? What are you gonna do about it princess?" Bryce taunted.
"Bryce!" the normally quiet Mr. Stoesz snapped. "If I ever hear, or even hear of, you bullying Sam or Kevin again, you will get an hour of detention. If that still doesn't stop you, I will not hesitate to have you suspended." The class went silent and watched the colour drain out of Bryce's face. He quickly took his seat and hid his face in his arms. The teacher came to their table, "Seriously, if he bullies you again, tell me. Even if it's not in my class." Kevin and Sam both nodded and Mr. Stoesz went to the front of the class to teach.
When Kevin and Sam got home, they were both exhausted. "Would you mind helping me into bed so I can take a nap?" Sam yawned.
"Definitely. Do you want to get changed?" Kevin asked.
"Yeah, I'll just wear my pyjamas for the rest of the day," Sam mumbled. Kevin helped him change and get into bed. "Can you wake me up for supper?"
"Of course," Kevin said as he walked towards the door, "have a good nap." He turned off the lights and left Sam to sleep.
Sam knew he probably wouldn't fall asleep for a while, but he just needed to be alone. He was tired of having people around him all the time. He heard the door creak open a little bit and turned his head to see Moo creeping towards him. The cat jumped on the bed and rubbed herself against Sam's shoulder and settling into the crook of his neck. Sam smiled when she started to lick his hair, grooming him.
It didn't take long before Kevin was waking Sam up. "We're having spaghetti and meatballs for supper," Kevin told Sam while he helped him into his chair. Sam was checking his phone while Kevin wheeled him towards the kitchen.
"Why did you put a picture of me sleeping on instagram?" Sam asked. "And when did you take it?"
"I went in to check if Moo was there and it was just so cute I couldn't resist," Kevin answered. "You know, I'm starting to get jealous of your relationship with my cat," he laughed.
"You should be, I think she loves me more than you," Sam joked. "It's really nice having her there. I've always wanted a pet, I just never thought it would be a cat."
The weeks went by with the same routine. Sam was tired of having a cast and tired of wearing a sling, so he was excited when the doctor told him he didn't have to wear it anymore. He felt so free without his cast. He knew that he'd have to work on strengthening it before he could wheel himself around properly, but now he was one step closer to being relatively independent.
/
Sam and Kevin were watching TV together when there was a sharp knock at the door. Kevin got up to get it and when he came back to the living room, Dean was right behind him. "Hey, Sammy," Dean grinned. "Did you miss me?"
"Dean, hey! What are you doing here?" Sam asked as Dean gave him a hug. "I thought you were in California with Dad."
"Yeah, Dad found a case that was on the east coast that he wanted to work "alone," so I figured I'd come visit you until he wants my help again. How are you feeling? Healing up nicely?" Dean replied.
"Well, some days are better than others," Sam answered. "I got my cast off and I don't have to wear my sling as much, so I've been doing a lot of physical therapy so that Kevin won't always have to push me everywhere. Unfortunately, my legs haven't improved at all."
They spent the evening catching up, which mostly meant listening to Dean tell stories about the various hunts he'd been on with their dad. Sam was always impressed with Dean's storytelling. It was something Sam had a tendency to forget about his brother. Dean could make you feel like you were living in the story, it made Sam wonder if Dean would have been some kind of storyteller had they not been raised hunters, or if hunting helped him.
Dean was there for two weeks before John needed his help on a hunt. Sam didn't want him to go, he had gotten used to seeing his brother every day. When Dean was there, Sam didn't feel so hopeless. He felt like things would actually end up okay. He loved Kevin and was thankful for everything he and Linda had done for him, but he needed his brother. Of course, he'd never tell Dean, but he wished that Dean would just tell their dad that he was done hunting. Sam knew that wouldn't happen, Dean liked hunting too much. He was good at it. Sam blinked back tears when Dean left, he didn't want to let everyone see him crying. He was stronger than that.
After everyone had gone to bed, Sam finally let himself cry. He was so frustrated with everything. It had been over two months since the accident and nothing had gotten easier. He wiped his eyes when there was a soft knock at the door. "Sam? Are you okay?" Kevin asked gently, sitting on the edge of Sam's bed.
"No," Sam mumbled. "No, I'm not."
"Do you want to talk about it? You can tell me anything," Kevin prodded. He knew that Sam was hurting, but he always wanted to seem strong, so he usually just held it in.
"I wish the semi had just killed me instead," Sam murmured, his back towards Kevin. "It would have been easier. I hate being in this chair. I hate being a burden. I hate that you always have to take care of me. If I'd died, you could have gone back to your normal life and everything would be okay. I messed everything up."
"Sam, I promise you, it would not have been easier if you'd died," Kevin cooed, putting his hand on Sam's shoulder. "You aren't a burden. I'm really sorry that you're in a wheelchair, I wish it was me instead. If you had died, there's no way I could go back to my "normal life" because you wouldn't be in it. None of this is your fault."
"It feels like it is… I'm trying to be positive and strong, but I don't think I am. I can't take this anymore. I can't do it. I'm so tired of everything," Sam sighed.
"You don't need to be positive and strong all the time. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be angry, sad, disappointed, frustrated. You don't have to hide your emotions," Kevin told him. "I can't imagine how difficult this all is for you, especially without your brother, but I will always be here for you. You're going to do great things, I know it. You can do whatever you set your mind to. This is just a bump in the road."
Sam turned to face Kevin. "Can you stay here with me?" He asked with tear-filled eyes. "I really don't want to be alone."
"Of course," Kevin replied. He lay down and snuggled close to Sam's chest, peppering light kisses on his bare skin. Sam smiled and wrapped his arms around Kevin. "You'll get through this, Sam. I love you."
"I love you, too," Sam responded, kissing the top of the smaller boy's head. It didn't take long for the two of them to fall asleep, both comforted by the other's presence.
When Sam woke up the next morning, Kevin was gone. He grabbed his phone to check the time and was surprised at how long he'd slept. He always slept in a little bit on Saturdays, but it was already almost noon. "Oh, hey, you're up," Kevin exclaimed when he walked into the room. "I decided you deserved a little extra sleep today," he smiled, giving Sam a peck on the lips. "I have a surprise for you."
"Really? What is it?" Sam asked as Kevin helped him into his chair.
"It's called a surprise for a reason, silly," Kevin laughed and wheeled him into the living room. "I'm just going to go get it." He left the room and when he came back he was holding a tiny grey kitten. "A few weeks back, you mentioned that you wanted a grey kitten, and when I saw that someone was giving this one away, I knew I had to get it for you. Don't worry, I asked my mom about it first," Kevin said, putting the kitten on Sam's lap. "It's a boy, just so you know."
"Does he already have a name?" The kitten couldn't be more than 10 weeks old. He had soft, pale grey fur and clear blue eyes.
"No, you get to name him," Kevin told him excitedly.
"Okay… uhm, well, what do you think he looks like? What name would suit him?" They spent a long time trying to figure out a name that would suit the kitten. Sam didn't want to name him Storm or any other name that would be incredibly cliché for a grey cat. Kevin suggested some names from the movies and TV shows he liked, but Sam didn't think that any of them would work.
"What about Rory?" Kevin suggested. "Like from Doctor Who!"
Sam held up the kitten and looked at him. "I like it," Sam grinned. "Rory, it's cute." Sam put Rory back down on his lap and laughed when the kitty climbed up his shirt and sat on his shoulder. He could feel the cat breathing in his ear and hear tiny little purring noises coming from him.
Rory sat on Sam's shoulder for almost the entire day. Whenever Sam would put him down, the kitten would just jump back onto his lap and climb up onto his shoulder. He liked playing with Sam's hair and ended up biting Sam's ear more than once, but Sam didn't complain.
Kevin smiled every time he saw Sam with the kitten. He looked so happy. Kevin knew that having a cat wouldn't fix the way Sam was feeling, but at least it was a distraction. He spent most of the day just watching Sam, laughing when the cat would attack Sam's hair. Eventually, Rory fell asleep on Sam's shoulder, and Kevin couldn't help but take a picture of it. When Kevin went to check on Sam that night, Rory was sleeping on the pillow right next to Sam's face. This kitten would be good for Sam, he just knew it.