Disclaimer: The Hobbit does not belong to me, but to Professor Tolkien, Peter Jackson, and his Company.
Author's Note: Special thanks to LadyWallace for reading over parts of this one for me. She is writing her own Thorin fic entitled "A Different Kind of Madness." It is wonderfully written; I encourage you to read it. You will not be disappointed.
Gem of His Heart
Thorin shifted uncomfortably in his chair and fidgeted with his hands in his lap. Drifa slept deeply, her rosy lips parted in slumber. Her blonde hair had come loose from its braid and fanned out across the pillow.
Thorin swallowed hard and remembered the first time he'd ever awakened with her held tightly in his arms. He shook his head as if clearing away the memory. As soon as Drifa woke, he would have the answers he sought.
Chapter 12
It was a nasty, rattling cough that finally roused Drifa from her sound slumber. The tickle in her throat would not abate. Sitting up, she coughed until she nearly gagged, her eyes watering so much that she could feel tears streaming down her cheeks.
A tankard of water was pressed into her hands and she drank gratefully, the tickle finally easing away. She plunked the tankard on the bedside table and wiped at her eyes with shaking hands. Pulling them away from her face, she frowned when she realized it was Thorin sitting next to her in a chair that was on wheels. "What are you doing here?" she croaked in a voice raspy from her cold and coughing.
Thorin studied the haggard woman in front of him. Her cheeks were still unnaturally rosy from fever. Her blonde hair fell in tangles around her pale face, and dark circles bruised the skin beneath her eyes. Her hands trembled weakly as she clasped them in her lap. "Shall I call for Oin?" he asked. Drifa really did look terrible.
She shook her head and then snapped her eyes shut as dizziness assaulted her. "No, I'll be all right. Just let me rest a moment." Drifa slid back to lie down against the pillow and sucked in deep breaths. Finally, the world stopped spinning and she opened green eyes to stare warily at Thorin. "Why are you here? I doubt it is just to visit me because I've been ill or to thank me for taking care of you after the mudslide."
Thorin winced inwardly knowing that he really should thank her, but the matter of his child came first. The gnawing questions inside him had to be answered. "Our child?" he queried, his blue eyes giving Drifa a piercing look that had cowed fierce warriors into submission. He noticed her trembling hands clench into fists around the edge of the blanket and pressed onward. "Our child you spoke of, where is it? I cannot believe you have hidden my heir away from me all of this time." Thorin was taken aback at the look of rage that consumed his former lover's face.
Angrily, the dwarrowdam pushed to a sitting position. "And I cannot believe you have the audacity to ask about a child after you had me banished from Erebor when I was good enough to warm your bed, but not share your life!" Drifa nearly screamed the words at him before she dissolved into another coughing fit.
Thorin stared at her with narrowed eyes as he processed the words she had spewed at him. "I do not know what game you are trying to play with me, Drifa, but we both know that is not true."
"Isn't it?" she choked out. "You had your father and grandfather do your dirty work for you!" She was coughing too hard now to continue. The coughing grew worse until she wretched into a bucket that had been placed beside the bed for that very purpose. With shaking hands, she reached for the empty tankard, but did not have the strength to fill it with water from the pitcher.
Thorin realized that if he wanted more answers, he was going to have to help her. His own hands trembling with barely suppressed anger, he grasped the pitcher and poured water into the tankard.
Drifa lifted it to her lips, water spilling down her pale blue gown and into her lap. She took small sips, but coughs still rattled her frame.
The door opened and Oin bustled in followed by Fili and Kili. "Dear me, Drifa, you have made yourself too upset," he fussed. Quickly, the healer grabbed the kettle of heated water by the fireplace and began to mix an herbal tea. "This will help to ease your throat."
Fili placed a hand on Thorin's shoulder. "Perhaps you and Drifa should both get some rest and then you can return later."
"NO!" Both Thorin and Drifa protested loudly, Drifa still choking on her coughs.
"This must be settled now," Thorin growled. "The lies have lived in our hearts for years."
Fili exchanged a look with his brother. "As soon as things are settled, both of you will be getting much needed rest," he insisted firmly.
Thorin gave him a curt nod and watched as Drifa downed the tea Oin handed her. Her coughing eased up as did the rattle in her chest. The healer refilled the pitcher on the bedside table with fresh water and poured some into the tankard there as well.
"We will be nearby in case we are needed, Uncle," Kili assured Thorin.
Thorin nodded once again. "Leave us," he commanded and waited until everyone had vacated the room before turning back to Drifa. His leg ached and his ribs throbbed, but he would not give up. He needed to know about his child, a child he had already begun to love.
Drifa regarded him with cool green eyes, her face hardened into an expression of anger.
"Where is my child?" he demanded once again, his fingers tightening around the arms of his wheeled chair.
"When you sent me away, you forfeited any right you had to a child created between us," Drifa hissed.
"Sent you away?" Thorin repeated. "You left of your own volition, taking our child with you. I demand answers or I will take you to the Iron Hills myself to get them."
Drifa snorted which sent her into a short coughing spell. She took a sip of water from the tankard Oin had placed on the bedside table before continuing, the tankard clasped between her hands in her lap. "There are no answers to be found in the Iron Hills," she spat. "No one there knows of my union with you or that there was even a hint of anything between us."
"Then who do they believe fathered your child?"
The room fell silent. Drifa inwardly cursed herself for mentioning the babe in front of Thorin. She felt tears burn her eyes and blinked them back. She refused to cry in front of the king who had rejected her. "There is no babe, Thorin. When you sent me away, conditions were difficult, too difficult for a dwarrowdam carrying a child. I lost the babe on the way to the Iron Hills." She gave a spiteful laugh. "I didn't even know a child was growing within me. Perhaps I was too heartbroken to notice."
Thorin stared at her in horror, his expression one of deep sorrow. The crackle of the roaring fire was the only sound for a while as Thorin digested what Drifa had told him. This time when he spoke, his voice was quiet and gentle. "That is the second time you have mentioned that I sent you away."
Drifa's eyes met his gaze sharply. "You sent me away when you decided that I was not good enough for a prince of Erebor. I saw the fancy carriage arrive in the courtyard the day I left. I saw the elegant dwarrowdam you greeted that morning with a wide smile on your face." Her voice rose in anger, and she flung the tankard of water she held at him.
Thorin caught it against his chest, wincing at the pain in his ribs. His face was wreathed in confusion at her words. "Drifa, I do not understand. I never thought you were not good enough, and I certainly did not send you away."
"So you say now," she spat icily.
Thorin shook his head. "You must believe me."
"Oh, and why is that? You could not even tell me to my face that it was over between us; instead, you had your father and grandfather take care of it for you."
"I did nothing of the sort," Thorin protested angrily. "You were the one who could not handle the pressure of being with a prince, and then you were gone. There was no goodbye and no explanation. I was told that you had left and were not coming back."
Drifa stared at Thorin, her eyes scanning his face as if searching for the truth. In the time that they had been together, he had never lied to her. "Who told you that?" she asked, suddenly feeling very tired and worn.
"The head housemaid," Thorin replied, "when I went looking for you."
Drifa buried her face in her hands. "I need time to think, Thorin," she admitted, "and I am so tired and ill that I just cannot do that right now."
He nodded. "Our discussion is not complete, but I will give you time to rest, Drifa. We will resume our conversation later."
She nodded mutely and slipped down beneath her covers.
"Drifa," Thorin murmured quietly.
She raised an eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue. "I am sorry about our child, sorry you had to go through the loss alone. I would have been there had I known."
Drifa swallowed hard past the lump that rose in her throat. "Please go now so that I may rest, Majesty," she murmured.
Thorin's eyes hardened once more as she placed distance between them once again with the formal title. "Fili! Kili!" he called sharply.
The door opened moments later and the heirs of Durin stood in the doorway. "Yes, Uncle?" Fili called out.
"I am ready to return to my room. I will visit Drifa again this evening."
"Aye, Uncle," Fili replied. He moved to grasp the handles of Thorin's wheeled chair as Kili held the door open and then closed it behind them.
They helped settle Thorin in bed and the dwarf king seemed to wilt before their eyes. The boys shared a worried glance.
"Are you all right, Uncle?" Kili asked tentatively.
Thorin heaved a sigh, his face drawn and sad. "I need to rest," he stated, turning his face away from them once he pulled the blankets up to his chin.
"All right," Fili answered quietly. "Please call if you need us, Uncle."
Thorin was silent, so the boys slipped quietly out of the room.
"I've never seen Thorin look that defeated," Kili whispered to his older brother as they hurried down the hall searching for a private place to talk.
"In here," Fili commanded his brother, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a rarely used room on the hall of the healers.
"Do you think Uncle got his answer about the child?" Kili wondered, stroking his whiskered face as he considered what had just transpired between Thorin and Drifa.
"Maybe, but he does not act as if it was good news," Fili admitted. "And he wants to see Drifa again, so perhaps he does not have all of the answers he needs yet."
"How do you feel about all of this?" Kili suddenly asked his brother, pinning Fili with a questioning gaze.
"Me?" Fili asked, his eyebrows rising in surprise.
"Sure. All of your life, Mother and Uncle raised you to be his heir, a king of Erebor. If Thorin recognizes his child with Drifa as his heir, you will lose your place in line for the throne. This will change everything for us."
Fili sighed and leaned back against the wall. "I've thought of it. I am sure that I will receive an advisory position to the king should that happen."
"But you would have been king, Fili. Surely it stings a bit."
"I would be lying if I said it did not, Kili, but it does not mean Uncle loves us any less. It is only natural that he would want his son to succeed him." Fili ran a tired hand over his face. "Besides, we do not know that Thorin will ever see this child or if it was even a son. Uncle will tell us when he believes we need to know."
Kili shifted from one foot to another. "Perhaps we should tell him we know."
"No, Kili, it is not our place," Fili responded adamantly. "Thorin will tell us when he is ready, and we will support him in what he decides. Mother would expect that of us."
"Aye, she would," Kili admitted.
"Come, Kili, our wives are waiting for us. It is time for dinner, and I promised the boys I would play a game with them. We will check on Thorin in a bit and take him back to speak with Drifa."
To Be Continued…