Look to the Stars- The Final Days of Sirius Black

by kittenkvs

I, for one, desperately love Sirius. This is a series of one shots based on his final days. His last day with the Potter family, last day as a free man, and last day in Azkaban. I tried to grasp his character the best I could and may do more if this is well received. No pairings mentioned other than cannon pairings. No romance. Rated T to be safe.

2. Chapter 2

LOOK TO THE STARS- The Last Days of Sirius Black

Chapter Two: IT'S NOT FUNNY

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Sirius sighed heavily walking down the grassy hill toward the lake. In one hand he held a bottle of Ogden's Firewhiskey and two shot glasses; in the other, several butterbeers. Sirius Black had gone through this ritual before, many, many times. This time was different from all the others. This time, he was doing it alone. His boots thudded on the dock heavily, an echoing sound. It reminded him of his own empty heart beat.

He eased himself down onto the dock and pulled his shoes off, setting them to the side before dropping his feet in the cool water. This time there was no splash of James kicking water everywhere. He looked to where his best mate had once sat and it was almost as if he were there now, laughing. Sirius could almost see him. When Sirius and James drank they never used one shot glass. Sirius had always foregone it for the bottle. So, tonight, two empty shot glasses would sit on the dock. They would always be empty now but it was tradition to bring them.

Sirius finished the butterbeers in no time and chucked all the bottles into the lake as far as they would go. One day, he was going to have Lily cast… he hung his head, Lily couldn't cast a bubble head charm on him anymore. He would never see what was down there or how many bottles he and James had thrown in. Lily and James were dead.

He cracked open the firewhiskey, taking a shot straight from the bottle and looked back to his own mental image of a James who was more than likely cold and stiff somewhere in reality. He cracked a grin at the not really there ghost as it laughed again and shook his head.

"For once, Jamie, it's not funny." He whispered, gently scolding his friend. He looked back out to the lake and the setting sun, wriggling his toes in the water, "Jamie, I can't… I can't find Harry. I can't find Harry." He shook his head, looking up at the sky- to the heavens where James really was, "THEY TOOK HIM FROM ME!" He got no answer. James wasn't coming back and neither was Lily.

The answering sound of boots echoing on the docks made him look up. It was like looking at an older gray-eyed version of himself. He barred teeth at the man.

"Don't growl at me, Siri, it's not proper." He sighed, sitting down. He didn't touch any of Sirius' rituals. That was good, Sirius thought, because the pain- his soul was too raw to bear it.

"Go'way, Reg, I'm not in the mood." Sirius growled, "really, I'm not."

"I can not." Regulus said coldly, "not today, not now, not ever again. Siri, you've got to get up. You've got to run. It was a set up."

"What are you on about? Some new pureblood conspiracy I don't subscribe to?"

"You'd better subscribe to this one." Regulus growled, throwing a stone that had made it onto the dock. This had once been Sirius and Regulus' spot. Then, so they said, Sirius became the traitor.

"Just go away, Reg."

"No, Siri, there's no time. Listen, we have to go. We have to go now. The Aurors are coming to take you away. You were set up, I've seen the raunchy little bastard myself."

"What? Who?"

"Pettigrew." Regulus replied solemnly. Sirius snorted and took another shot.

"Peter is dead, Reg. Peter and James and Lily and I…I can't… I can't find Remus. I can't find Harry."

"No, Sirius, listen; Peter set you up. I know the truth. We can fix it all now, I know what to do but we're going to need help. We'll go, me and you, brothers- to Cissa. Cissa's husband and she will help. Bela will never expect Cissa. Peter is alive and I need you, Sirius, I need you now. Don't do this."

"Go'way, Reg!" Sirius roared, shoving him, "GO AWAY! I am no Black! I'm not helping any of you people, not ever! You were never there for me, Regulus! James was and I have to be here for him now! FOR HARRY!" He got up, stalking barefoot up the dock.

"I am here for you now, little brother! I can help! We must go to Cissa's!"

"ALL MY BROTHERS ARE DEAD!" Sirius roared back, flipping him off. He barred teeth again, "you're an idiot, Regulus. You stab me in the back and then come here and try to convince me my own best mate- there when you weren't- is alive and I'm going to prison. YOU! ARE! MAD! Go on, go to Cissa's, she'll never believe you either. Sod off, Reg."

"Any minute, Siri, I have to go. They're coming, they'll take me too!"

"THEN GO!" Sirius pushed his brother, watching him stumbled back on to the grass and topped the hill as the Aurors came in. They had their wands pointed at him. He couldn't hear what they were saying over the rush in his ears as he fell to his knees, hands behind his head- but he got the gist. Sirius looked to one side, James- cold and stiff and not real James- was laughing.

"It's not funny, Jamie." Then, he looked to his other side as they bound his wrists painfully. Regulus was gone. James was gone. Remus was gone. Peter was gone. "It's not funny at all, Jamie."