Ahhhh! Okay so I'm kind of disappointed with what I have so far. I'm definitely going to go back and fix these chapters when school gets out. Until then, I'll continue to post on a regular basis so forgive me if it's a bit confusing or there's too little detail.

Starting Over –

The first few weeks at home were exciting. My mom was pretty upbeat when it came to her new daughter. She would usher me about and was constantly shoving baby toys my way. To be perfectly honest, it was probably a more fulfilling childhood than my first had been. The first time around I had been raised by a teenager struggling to finish high school and a grandmother who wanted nothing to do with me.

My mom never stopped smiling. She called me Chidori-chan and I wondered at the strange name. I had always liked Victoria, but my new name was growing on me.

No one else ever came to visit me so I assumed she had no family or wasn't in contact with them. My new mom was young, probably college-aged if I had to guess. I guiltily wondered if her family had abandoned her when she told them she was pregnant as most people had when my old mother did. She may not have been 16, but she was still fairly young to have a baby.

Despite the fact that it was just the two of us my mom seemed happy. The fact that I was most likely the easiest baby on earth probably helped. I was determined to not complicate her life any more than necessary – I didn't want her to resent me for ruining her life.

So with that in mind I almost never cried. I made shrill noises when I was hungry or needed to be changed and I quieted immediately when she was focused on other things. She took me for walks outside and stopped to let old women and other mothers coo at me. I always smiled and gave my best baby giggles in response as my mother looked on with a smile of her own. It wasn't hard to pretend to be a happy baby because I was happy. I didn't cry when she allowed other people to hold me or pat my head like a normal baby because I knew what was going on. I may not have had a completely adult mind but I knew enough to understand that they were complimenting me and wouldn't harm me. Without the confusion and fear that other babies felt I was able to remain calm and collected.

Every so often I would catch my mom looking a little confused as if she couldn't understand me. When she accidentally got soap in my eyes during my bath and frantically rinsed it out looking ready to cry I just blinked and sent her my signature lazy smile. When she saw that I was neither upset nor hurt she gave a shaky laugh and stared at me in wonder. I realized I wasn't acting very baby-like but I felt it was my duty to be the best and easiest baby she could ask for.

My mom never seemed to tire. She played with me to the extent that I wondered if she enjoyed the baby games more than I did. I even gurgled happily when she played peek-a-boo, though it was mostly because she looked ridiculous. She bought new toys all the time. I would wake up to find she had gone out and gotten building blocks or finger paints. I actually enjoyed my life. Not only had I lost the coordination of an adult but I had also lost the attention span. The toys that should have bored me were a pleasant distraction that I enjoyed.

One day she came home with a stuffed animal. It looked to be a scruffy dog and I immediately loved it. It reminded me of the dog the neighbors in my old life had kept. Back then I had taken care of their dog every time they went on vacation. I was so pleased with it I didn't notice the look on my mom's face until I heard a quiet sniffle. Looking up with my newly clear eyes I saw the tear tracks on her face. She knelt down with a sad smile I'd never seen before and patted my head.

Her sadness was contagious and I felt tears forming in my eyes for the first time since I had wailed at the loss of a father I'd never even had. I clumsily reached my chubby arms up, forgetting the dog's tail was still trapped in my left fist. My mom looked torn between laughing and crying.

"Oh, Chidori-chan…" she scooped me up and held me close, squeezing the dog between us. She carried me to the bed and lay down with me in her arms. She held me to her chest and cried quietly as I sniffled into her shirt. We fell asleep and when I awoke she was once again the joyous woman I had come to know.

…

After a few months had passed I was finally starting to pick up the language. I couldn't speak clearly but I could manage a gargled "Kaa-chan" when my mom picked me up. Though I couldn't really communicate I was able to understand what everyone else was saying. I'd felt really silly when I figured out my name was actually just Chidori and that -chan was an honorific.

Being able to understand what people were saying made things way more interesting. I especially loved going out to shop once I could pick up on what others were saying to my mom.

"Good afternoon Honda-san."

"Hello Akiyama-san! Chidori-chan is looking as cute as ever, has she started crawling yet?" asked the old man who owned the tea shop. My mom always stopped by after shopping for produce further up the road. He was tall and thin with a scruffy gray beard that reached half-way down his chest.

"Just a little bit, but I'm beginning to think that she's purposely giving up just so she can be carried around," said my mother with a soft laugh.

"What makes you say that? Five months is incredibly early for a baby to be crawling, I'm still surprised that she can speak!" cried the old man. He'd been utterly shocked when I'd cried "Kaaaaa-chan!" in front of him a month previously. Speaking was an exaggeration but a few words were still impressive at my age.

"Oh there's no doubt she's a little genius," confessed my mother, "But I've caught her crawling around whenever I'm not in the room. She always stops as soon as she sees me and throws her arms up to be carried."

Honda-san laughed at that and brought my mother her tea. I was stuck in an uncomfortable baby carrier but I didn't complain. My mom never stayed long. She and Honda-san exchanged a few words more about my laziness as I pouted and soon we were on our way home.

It turns out the room we'd originally been staying in had been a hotel. When I was a month old we had left the hotel and moved into a nice apartment not too far away. It had two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen, and a spacious living room. I had no idea where she got the money since I'd never seen her work or do anything other than take care of me, but I didn't worry too much about it.

From what I'd heard from those my mom spoke to she had come to the small town we lived in only a few months before giving birth. She never answered questions about her family or my father and so I had no knowledge of her life before I came along.

Once my mom realized that I didn't wake up crying like most babies she started leaving in the middle of the night only to come back hours later covered in sweat. She wasn't gone long enough for me to think it was a job and she always wore workout clothes, which ruined my idea that she was sneaking out to see a man. I didn't know why she had to work out in the middle of the night, but she always did and eventually it just became part of our normal routine.

For the most part with lived a quiet life and I expected it to continue indefinitely. Imagine my shock when she started talking about leaving our little town just two days after her conversation with Honda-san.

We had just walked through the front door to our apartment when she started talking. She spoke to me pretty often, though I don't think she realized how much I understood.

"I'm going to have to go back at some point sweetie," she sighed. "As nice as this is I need to start taking missions again. The Hokage only gave me time off until you were six months old…"

She looked miserable and I reached my little had up to clumsily pat her cheek. Inside I was reeling; she was talking about leaving everything I had ever known. I didn't know what she meant by missions or what the Hokage was and I could only wait for her to continue.

"At least I'll be able to see my friends again. I'm sure they'll love you Chidori-chan! They'll take care of you whenever I have to go on missions," she was looking a little happier as she said this.

All of a sudden her face fell, "But I never told him about you…"

I stayed quiet, I had the feeling she was talking about my father.

"I know I should have, but I wasn't supposed to get pregnant. I left without telling anyone, let alone him. Maybe he won't even believe me," she paused, looking thoughtful. "I did leave shortly after I found out about you. What if he never finds out?"

She stared at me before hanging her head, "Oh, who am I kidding? You're his spitting image. The Hokage will realize the truth as soon as he sees the resemblance and he'll make me tell your father."

She broke down into tears as I reeled with the new information. For the second time in my short lifetime she fell asleep crying as she held me against her chest.

…

A week later my mom had the apartment packed up and the furniture sold. We went around saying our goodbyes to all the villagers we had come to know. I spent the day before practicing the words, "Bye-bye!" and made sure to smile happily at all the people who'd called me cute. They made silly exclamations about my gargled words and pinched my cheeks. My mother looked sad and gave hugs to all the women she'd become friends with.

Finally, as evening approached, she grabbed the bags with her clothes, my toys, and all the picture books she'd gotten me and we were off. We caught a ride on a farmer's cart and waved our final goodbyes as we rolled away.

I fell asleep fairly quickly and only woke up when the cart rolled to a stop. The farmer was a kind middle aged man and he set about starting a fire while my mom took out her sleeping roll. While the farmer moved into the woods to gather firewood my mom fed me with a bright pink bottle before taking out a protein bar and a bottle of water. She ate quickly, spoke with the farmer some, and crawled under her blanket with me in her arms. I could tell she was still awake but couldn't stay awake long enough to wait for her to fall asleep.

The next day of travel was boring and my mom just held me on her lap in the back of the cart. Once again I tried to wait for her to fall asleep and failed miserably. The next morning we reached a town a bit bigger than the one we had come from. We parted ways with the farmer and spent the night in a quaint little inn.

As she lay down in the bed next to me I heard her breathing deepen and when I looked up she was asleep. It was as I suspected; my mom had stayed up those nights on the road. I knew she was suspicious even though I couldn't understand why. I'd noticed the way she always darted her eyes as though looking for a threat and the way she walked silently. Now I wondered if the man who was my father had beaten her and I was afraid to meet him. Nonetheless we continued on our journey the next day, this time traveling with a wealthy-looking merchant.

The next three days of travel were slow and tedious. I became a little fussy despite my best efforts. I was still a six-month-old despite my memories and I was ready for the journey to be done. My mom, on the other hand, looked more and more anxious as we drew closer to our target. I was starting to think she really did fear my father, why else would she be so upset? I decided before meeting him that he was an abusive asshole and that I wouldn't like him.

I was set straight the night before we reached our destination. The merchant and his hired helpers were already asleep and my mom was leaning against a tree with me in her lap. It was an impressive tree. Even though everything loomed large above me I could tell the trees around us were more than just large, they were huge!

"Okay Chidori-chan, we're almost there," she gave me a sheepish smile before continuing. "I'm sorry I kept you away from your dad. I just wasn't sure how he'd react to being a father without any say in the matter."

She looked up into the tree tops and sighed, "He's nice, he's handsome, and he's brave, but he doesn't love me. I was afraid he would think I did it on purpose to try to get him to marry me, but that wasn't it."

I stared into her face with wide eyes. "I was infatuated and I knew that so long as I didn't push for a real relationship he would keep me around," she sighed. "He's a great guy and I know that he'll do his best by you, that's just the kind of person he is…"

As she continued to talk about a man she clearly loved and respected I zoned out. I knew it was naïve to hope for the best. I squashed the relief I felt at hearing I had a father who might be involved in my life and instead focused on my mom.

I loved my mom and it was heartbreaking to hear her talk about loving a man who she was sure would never return the favor. I decided to remain loyal to her and her alone. If my father couldn't love her than he was a fool and undeserving of my attention. I snuggled into my mother with that in mind and drifted to sleep with all the ease of the baby I appeared to be.