Once Daryl went back inside, Beth was already passed out on the couch with a now empty can still clutched in her grip. He secured the door and went to dispose of her trash, sitting in the kitchen alone to eat the beans that were left untouched. His stomach winning over sleep for the moment, though he was still completely exhausted.
When he finished, he tossed the fork into the sink and went back to the living room to lift Beth from the couch carefully, taking her to the only bedroom in the house. She stirred slightly when she hit the bed and curled around a pillow, not actually waking. Daryl draped a blanket across her body and did one last round of the room to check the windows and closets before heading to the couch.
It was probably the most comfortable place he'd chosen to rest in a year. Much better than the tattered old prison cots or the random nights spent in the back of a vehicle, yet he still found it impossible to actually fall asleep.
With his whole body close to being useless, his mind was constantly plagued with thoughts of his old home and group. Hershel and Rick especially. Two people he'd grown to respect and just when he'd gotten to the point of allowing himself to accept having a family, The Governor rolls up like it was any other day and his new life was suddenly torn from existence. Leaving him to the savage world alone like Merle had when they were younger, when he was finally able to escape the cruel reality his father had painted for them.
He reached up to press his thumb and index finger against his eyes as the memory of Merle leaving washed over and all the focus of his father's abuse was left for him to endure. Then the day he saw his brother for the last time as a walking corpse and had to put him down without a proper goodbye.
Drawing in a deep breath, he pressed back the tears he could feel trying to escape without much of a fight. He had never been much for crying or expressing his emotions, but the stress of the past few days were taking a toll on the hunter and bringing him to a breaking point. Not to mention he had to face Beth and all the new feelings he was slowly developing for the young woman.
In that split second decision to bring her along, he knew from that moment forward the choice was going to change everything he'd ever known. He willingly put himself in a position to protect a woman he hardly spoke to and had mostly watched from a distance. Hiding in the shadows, too ashamed to admit to himself how much he wanted to get to know her better and in the time he'd been given the option to do so, he felt like he was already screwing up. Thinking she would only assume he was being a man and wanting to satisfy some need. He figured at this point it might be easier to just go back to how things were before, when he was focused on surviving.
Daryl rolled over after a while so his face was against the back of the couch and placed his hands over his ears, sliding them just enough to where he could tug on his hair. Trying anything to get his mind to shut off and his body to calm down enough to sleep. He really wanted to yell, hit something, do anything to relieve some of the stress that was eating away at him and usually hunting would help, but that was impossible in the dark. His only option was to sit there in silence alone and pray he could ease his mind.
At some point he managed to gain a little rest, because the next thing he knew he was waking to the sound of someone shuffling around in the kitchen and it was daylight. He already knew it was Beth from how she lifted her feet when she walked and with a sigh he stretched slightly, not fully awake. A moment later a crash echoed through the living room and he jumped, rubbing his face.
"The hell ya doin in there?" He grumbled, irritated at the lack of sleep he'd gotten and the fact he obviously wasn't getting any more.
"Sorry!" Beth called from the kitchen, having dropped a drawer out into the floor while searching for a can opener.
"Knock that shit off." Daryl snapped, moving to sit up. Resting his elbows on his knees and dropping his head into his hands with a groan.
"Well, aren't you pleasant this morning." Beth said sarcastically, making a face as she walked over and held out some food.
Daryl looked at her through the cracks in his fingers and shook his head at the can. He needed a minute to clear the fog of being tired and will himself to wake up, eating was the last thing on his mind.
"Suit yourself." Beth shrugged and sat down beside him, taking a bite of the chicken noodle soup she found. "I left the jar of peanut butter in there if you change your mind."
"Ugh." Daryl grimaced and lifted himself to lean against the back of the couch. He hated peanut butter.
Beth swallowed down some noodles and crinkled her forehead at his response. "What?"
"Rather wait an' go huntin'." He said while leaning over to lay his head on the arm of the couch, yawning.
Beth gave him a nod, drinking the last bit of soup that remained in the can and got up to put her fork in the sink. Something about doing normal things, even as little as putting dirty dishes in the sink, made her feel like things weren't as bad as they truly were.
When she returned she noticed his eyes were closed again. "Did you sleep at all last night?"
"Not really." Daryl replied lazily, still unmotivated to do anything.
"We could of shared the bed if the couch was that uncomfortable." Beth told him while sitting down, unaware his lack of sleep was because of his mind, not where he chose to lay. She placed a hand on his back, rubbing slightly. Hoping the soothing touch would help him relax, like it helped her when he massaged her feet, but it only caused him to tense and came with a raised brow in her direction at the mention of them sharing a bed.
Beth sighed, knowing that look. "To sleep in." She corrected.
"That's what ya say now." Daryl grunted and Beth glared.
"Do I have to remind you, that you kissed me last night?" She said, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Made a mistake" Daryl sighed and shifted, dropping his attention to the floor.
His words caused her to stare. "So, you're saying you didn't mean to?" Beth asked, narrowing her eyes the more frustrated she got.
"Somethin' like that." Daryl replied softly and brought his thumb up to chew on. He felt cornered and had no idea what to tell her. He was trying to stay smart, even with a thousand things running through his head.
"That's bullshit and you know it." Beth snapped. "I remember how you felt...pressed against me."
Daryl swallowed at the reminder and bit the inside of his cheek. "Ya ever even been with a man?" He asked, raising his voice. Finally turning to face her with a serious look. If they were going to talk about this, he wasn't going to beat around the bush
The question stunned Beth at how straight forward it was and it took her a second to reply. "No." She answered honestly.
"Then how the hell ya even know that's somethin' ya want?" Daryl asked. "Hardly looked in my direction back at the prison."
"That you noticed..." Beth pointed out.
Daryl growled and wiped his sweaty palm against his jeans. "What would yer Daddy think? Knowin' some dumbass redneck twice yer age had his hands all over you?"
For some reason the mention of her father made her blood boil. "I can make my own decisions." She bit out bitterly, not wanting to think about her father and his possible reaction to the situation. It only made her heart break a little more having to accept he was gone.
"Doesn't mean he wouldn't be ashamed ta know his little girl was out tryin' ta sleep with the first man she was left alone with!" Daryl's words were harsh and the small hand that suddenly made contact with the side of his face surprised him.
Beth didn't understand how, but her body took control before her mind knew what was happening and she slapped him as hard as she could, with every emotion she was currently feeling behind it. Once her mind finally caught up, she felt terrible. Her hand instantly came to her mouth to hide the shock of her own actions. "I'm sorry... Daryl I'm so sorry."
Daryl stood there in disbelief, having jumped to his feet. No one had hit him like that in a long time without getting hit back and he suddenly had the urge to run away. He'd never hurt Beth and he felt defenseless, much like he had as a kid facing his father, knowing he could only stand there and take it. The impact alone brought back a feeling from his childhood that made him sick and being helpless only made it worse.
"Daryl..." Beth stepped forward to reach out for him and he flinched away. Flexing his jaw to ease the sting in his cheek.
His stare made her feel small and she moved back, almost afraid of what he might do. There wasn't any fear of him hitting her, but there was fear he would bolt and leave her there alone. That seemed like the only escape Daryl knew in an uncomfortable position. "Say something...please." She begged. Wrapping her arms around her body.
It took Daryl several minutes to get control over himself and let out a shaky breath he hadn't known he was holding. "I dunno what to say..." He started, in a whisper. "Hell I ain't never done somethin' like this before, Beth. Already told ya, I dunno how ta let someone be close... Ain't no excuse for me bein' a dick, but I'm fuckin' scared."
Beth watched him and felt her chest swell with emotion when he admitted something so personal to her. That right there was trust and he didn't even know it. A piece of his life he claimed to of lost long ago and here it was appearing right in front of her. She only hoped she could make him understand this wasn't anything to be afraid of.
"Being close to someone isn't something you should have to fight against..." She moved forward. "It's just something you feel and you know when it feels right. Don't be afraid just because it seems different, that doesn't mean it's wrong." Beth sighed a little. "Look I'm not playing some childish head game. I've known for a long time how I feel and when I kissed you back in the trunk, it confirmed everything I ever knew to be true, at least on my part."
Daryl slowly lifted his eyes to meet hers. "Why the hell ya even wanna bother tryin' to get close ta someone like me? Ain't nothin' good gonna come from it."
Beth shifted to sit, reaching up to grab his hand and pull him to join her. She turned to face him once he was settled. "You don't know that. I'm not asking you to sleep with me Daryl. I'm not even asking you to touch me. I'm just hoping that somewhere deep down, you'll let me show you there are still good people that you can trust and if maybe one day you want to take things further, we can. You might have to show me how since I don't have any clue what I'm doing in that department, but I'm not opposed to the idea." She guessed his distance was also based on him being afraid of how she'd react to being physical and needed him to know she wasn't going to push him away.
Daryl waited while she spoke and after she finished he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his lap, feel her warm body against his chest. Do everything he'd been telling himself not to. He swallowed hard and gave her a nod.
Beth had a better grasp on his emotions than he did and she was proving to be great at making him listen and understand things he was too stubborn to realize on his own.
"Hell, neither do I." He said with a slight smile, in response to her letting him know she didn't know what to do. Daryl had been with women, had sex, but with only a few and he would never treat Beth the same way he had them. They meant nothing like she did and if he was going to allow anything more to happen, it was going to be dealt with delicately. He cared too much to fucked that up for her.
"Guess we can both learn a thing or two from each other then." Beth was glad he seemed to be in good spirits and moved to stand. She wanted to search the house for something else to wear. Her clothes were disgusting.
"Let me ask ya somethin'." He said before she walked away. "How come ya was so afraid ta let me see ya at the river, but have no problem with me rubbin' all up on ya?"
Beth shifted to place herself directly in front of him and reached out to touch his cheek lightly where it was still red from the hit. "That was before I knew how you felt."
Daryl couldn't contain himself any longer, the soft touch throwing all restraints out the window and he snatched her wrist. Pulling her down into his lap, kissing her passionately. Something he didn't even know he was capable of doing. This kiss wasn't anything like the others they shared, so full of emotion and understanding that he groaned the instant their lips touched.
Beth fell into him completely, not holding anything back as she slid her fingers through his hair and plunged her tongue into his mouth desperately. His hands quickly moved to grip her hips, grinding her down against his erection and she moaned helplessly. Pulling back a second later to speak. "What happened to waiting?" She asked breathless, leaning forward so their foreheads touched.
Daryl shut his eyes and dug his fingers into her hips, forcing himself to keep still. "Still waitin', just needed a little somethin' to remind me what I'm waitin' for." He responded, breathing heavily. At this point he was once again tired of fighting with himself. Finally seeing what was right in front of him and that all his fears of her rejection were just his own mind creating a reason to make him stay distant. Along with him thinking this was wrong. He couldn't convince himself anymore how something that felt this good, could possibly be wrong.