The 5 Steps To Freedom

Derp. This was actually placeholder text, but as you can see, it stayed!

SargantEpsilon: Oh, after this chapter you'll know why Samey doesn't have to win Scarlett's trust anymore.

Hugh Takinamee: Like I told Applause, thanks!

KaylaBow: I hope you've understood that I was talking about a platonic relationship right? Ah, you've figured that by now I think!

Littlespoon: Thanks! I tried to add a more significant reference, but unlike you, I haven't watched Orange Is The New Black yet.

NerdyNightStocker: There's no telling if Chris's in the picture! And yes, the business card has a very important (Almost lifesaving) role this chapter! Oh, Samey knows already!

I still need a better title for this story, preferably something with 1 word. Do you readers have any suggestions?

That's all for today. Less author input, more story! Hurray!

I have to give it a T+ today for attempted suicide.

Chapter 3: Solace

Here I am yet again, in the improvised practice with Samey being the only other person in the room. She isn't smiling today, so she probably hasn't forgotten my staged anger outburst from last time.

''Scarlett, I bet you know what these are?'' Samey asked me as she flashes me some cards with inkblots on them.

''Rorschach tests. You disappoint me a little Samey, there's more proof that it doesn't work than the other way around.''

''We'll see.'' Samey answered as she sorts the cards. ''You know the drill, I show you an image and you have to say what you see in it.'' She explained before she flashed me a card with an inkblot that looked suspiciously like a moth, and I just figured another way to get out of here.

''A Rorschach test.'' I answered, deciding to be clever.

''I mean what's on the Rorschach test genius!'' She replied annoyed, tapping the card lightly.

''Inkblots.'' I answered.

Samey's eye twitched a little before she sighed tiredly and put the cards away. ''I think we should stop with your therapy.'' She announced.

''Oh really? Why?'' I responded.

Samey glared daggers at me after my response in such a way that I couldn't have imagined from her. ''Because you aren't even trying to cooperate!'' She darkly answered before she began to pack her stuff. I leaned back in the lounge chair and smiled, I am free of attention once again.

''Your mom will be sorely disappointed for sure.'' She added.

My eyes shot wide open, What did she just say?

''Wait…What?'' I confusedly asked her as I shot up.

''Your mother will be disappointed. After all, she went great lengths to get me appointed as her little girl's therapist! She believed that someone with firsthand experience should be able to help you.'' Samey explained a angrily. My heart began to race as the answer sunk in.

The media didn't appoint Samey to me, my own mother did! And I just got rid of her!

''But why didn't you tell me my mother got you appointed?'' I loudly asked her as I stood up.

''It might've influenced the therapy negatively.''

''It did influence it negatively now you didn't tell me!'' I angrily replied, making 1 step towards her. Samey stepped back and I realized that if I got too intimidating again, she'd call in the guards. And I wanted to talk this out. ''I thought that you were sent by the tabloids!''

''Why would I do that?'' Samey indignantly asked, appearing as if she was offended by the idea.

''You could get me out of prison early so that their press hawks could hound me and write about every over exaggerated little misstep I make! Because they love writing about Total Drama's little psychopath!'' I loudly explained to the point I almost yelled. I should really calm down. ''And I am NOT a psychopath.'' I calmly finished, pointing at her self-assured.

''I sincerely doubt that!'' Samey chidingly replied as she finished packing her things.

''What?!'' I furiously hissed, almost losing my temper.

''You've shown that you constantly plotted to get out of this therapy by any means necessary, let it be by attempting to drive me crazy or by faking an anger outburst. Yes I knew you faked that anger for the record! I know everything! I'm not as gullible as I used to be.'' She sternly pointed out as she glared at me again. Samey had really matured.

''After the 1st session I mentally prepared myself for other tricks. And after the 2nd session, I realized that you were deliberately trying to oppose everything and additionally that you were lying about your childhood. Your mother has given information too you know!'' Samey continued chiding me.

So she did knew I was lying.

''And beginning with this session, I hoped that you'd admit your thwarting or tell me what bothers you, but after I saw that you were still trying to get out, I gave up. And that behavior shows how callous and artful you are. Your mother believed that you weren't one, and I did too. But we were both wrong, you are just a full-blown grade-A psychopath! You belong here!'' Samey finished berating me.

''But you don't understand! I-'' I desperately tried to reason with her, but I was cut off by Samey taking her briefcase and standing up.

''Have a wicked good life Scarlett, I hope to never be a part of it again!'' She greeted me before she walked out of the room. I hung my head, I was devastated.

Several minutes later, I was brought to the recreation room. I sat at a table close to the door, sulking.

Samey didn't understand, if she had told that mom sent her beforehand, then I had accepted her help. I tried to explain it to her, but she had all right not to listen to me, after all my own paranoia drove her away. Maybe I AM a monster.

Mom wouldn't let Samey be my psychologist because the media wanted her to be. If there was one person who hated them more than I, it was mom. She got the reputation of being a bad mother, and that really hurt her. I felt guilty about that and I have no idea how I can set that right.

''Hey Neuer!'' A familiar voice calls me, I turn around to see Crazy Eyes and her lackeys standing a few feet away from me.

Great, this is just what I need while I'm being consumed by dread.

Crazy eyes was a large, dark skinned, intimidating women who had torn the sleeves off of her jumpsuit. She was called Crazy Eyes because of her wide eyes, and apparently, she didn't like that nickname. Her cronies looked like her as well, large and intimidating, but of course, not with the big eyes.

''Go away.'' I grumbled while I rest my head on my folded arms.

''Say what now?'' She replied. She was apparently offended as she spun my chair around so that I'd face her, but I just kept my arms crossed and looked away. I was in a way too gloomy mood to look at her. ''Look at me and say it again!'' She demanded as she squeezed my face with one hand, forcing her to look at me as she powerfully threw the chair away. A little too powerful because it shattered a large window next to the door. An alarm went off and Crazy Eyes let go off me. I fell on the ground and I spotted a large shard of glass laying nearby. And in a split second, I saw in that shard how I could set things right.

I must commit suicide.

If I'm dead, the press won't get to write about me anymore and won't brand mom as 'Canada's worst mother' anymore. Everything will be better, I'm 100 percent sure of that.

I quickly lunged towards the glass shard and hid it in my shoe. Crazy Eyes saw this and wanted to harass me, but luckily, a dozen wardens came storming in and cleared the recreation room. I was cuffed and searched, but Crazy Eyes going mad during her cuffing prevented the shard from being found. I was lucky again, it was as if life was encouraging my suicide.

I stare out of my window close to midnight, rain was pouring out of dark clouds and it looked like it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. Again, a fitting reflection of my mood.

I get up from my bed and put off my all my clothes. I lay the shard on my bed before I walk to the sink and turn the water on to wash myself. I've developed a certain respect for the dead over the years, I believe that bodies should look as respectful as possible, and since I am going to die soon myself, I should be too.

''This is the end, beautiful friend.'' I quietly sing to my reflection as I attempt to wash my hair. ''This is the end, my only friend, the end. Our elaborate plans, the end.'' I mumbled on as I shut the water off and get dressed. I sang an old sing of The Moors, a band my mom used to like. I found it fitting to sing it to myself, as it indeed IS the end of everything. My dreams, my plans. Other than getting into college I hoped to work in Switzerland on the big particle accelerator and maybe, meet someone to settle down with. But I got too ambitious, too desperate and I blew it all, and now I have to pay the price for it. [1]

I hear a bell tower in the distance, it's past midnight.

I sigh deeply and sit down on my bed. I pick the piece of glass up and lay it on my wrist. I'm cutting my wrists, the great amount of blood loss with make sure that I die quickly and painlessly.

Scarlett Neuer, it has been great to be you as long as it lasted. You always wondered what was on the other side and you're about to find out, on this stormy night on October the 8th 2021. I breath in deeply, my last breath of air. I'm ready.

But despite that, I can't bring myself to cut them. Perhaps the idea of slowly bleeding to death isn't painless enough. I lay the glass shard down and walk around my cell to ponder about another method. I lightly pluck at my jumpsuit and I found the way to do it…

I choke myself to death.

If I tie my jumpsuit around my throat with a powerful knot and close it, I'll eventually suffocate, I just have to repress the panic reaction my brain will send out. I stripped myself of my jumpsuit and before I begin to lay a knot in it, I spot myself in the mirror, I looked at myself and I realized that this isn't going to work either. Even if I manage to kill myself, I don't leave a very respectful body. Call it vanity but I don't want to be found dead in my underwear.

I quickly put on my jumpsuit again and stomped towards the glass shard. No more postponing! I have to do it now! In a reflex, I picked the glass shard up and lay it against my neck to slit my throat. But despite my wishes, I can't bring myself to finish it yet again! Frustrated by my cowardice, I saw 1 last way to kill myself. By stabbing myself in my heart, quick, relatively painless and I leave a respectful corpse. But before I even picked the right angle I groaned out of frustration and threw the glass against the wall, shattering it in several smaller pieces. I sat down on my bed and buried my fingers in my scalp out of pure frustration.

I can't commit suicide, even if I want to. But why? I then spotted the business card laying next to my shoes and picked it up. Perhaps I can't finish myself because I want to set things right.

The next day, after I was brought to the recreation room, I headed straight for the telephones. I had to memorize Samey's entire phone number because if the guards found me with the business card, they'd begin to ask questions as I had told them I'd phone a lawyer, and if I do, then they aren't allowed to tap off the phones. I press a combination of numbers and I desperately hope that it has been the right combination.

''Psychology practice DeSorrento. How can I help you?'' Samey's voice called from the other end of the line. I sighed in relief.

''Samey.'' I responded.

''Scarlett?'' She replied to my response, not sounding very pleased to hear me.

''Yes, I know it sounds weird.'' I admitted.

''It kind of does. How did you get my number?''

''I snatched a unattended business card of yours.'' I answered, afraid of her reaction.

''Aha.'' She suspiciously replied. I could hear the disapproval in her voice, and that the reaction I was afraid of.

''But about yesterday, can we do it over?'' I requested.

''I don't think so.'' Samey quickly shot down. Come on! I'm going through the muck for you here!

''Please Samey, I mean Samantha. I tried to commit suicide last night!'' I despondently begged her, trying to stay quiet as not to call unwanted attention from the guards.

''Why?'' She concernedly asked after a few seconds of silence.

''Because I screwed things up.'' I submissively answered.

''This better not be another way to bother me Scarlett!'' She firmly warned me.

''Would I do that to you after I tried to get you out of my life?'' I presented her. I noticed that began to sound a little desperate again.

''No, you wouldn't.'' She admitted, and I fell my desperation disappear. ''I'll see what I can do for you. You'll hear from me soon enough. Until then Scarlett.'' She greeted me.

''Yes, until then Samantha.'' I greeted back for I hung up and slid against the wall to the ground, overwhelmed by the moment. This phone call gave me a great amount of solace in what was 1 of my darkest moments. I was given a 2nd chance, and I thank science for that.

This chapter contained 100% less implied shower rape!

[1] References a song by The Doors. Which, as you might guess, is called The End. I have a slight feeling that it is about suicide too.

So, pretty heavy chapter huh? Pretty long chapter too. Half as long as the 2 previous chapters combined.

Next chapter, the confessions, emotional outbursts and other things you've all been waiting for!

;:J,

L.W.