The 5 Steps To Freedom

It must've been a(Comparably) long wait for this chapter!

Applause2014: What's beautiful about a desperate girl on the verge of suicide? I guess that's 1 of the sick curiosities of humanity, like war! Still thanks though!

Frank15: You know what they say, bad guys/gals love their mammas!

SargantEpsilon: Was it that good? For real? If it was, I got to do more stuff like that!

NerdyNightStocker: It's not just that, Scarlett and Samey have a lot more in common than everyone would think!

Now that this story is almost over, does anyone have any fun requests? Send me them!

Rated T because of an (Genuine) anger outburst (Containing 1 whole swear word!).

Chapter 4: Submission

I woke up in a different cell with cold feet, which are perhaps the reason I woke up so early. I'm not allowed to wear shoes since I was put on suicide watch a few days ago, even though I got rid of the incriminating glass shards.

Samantha must've alerted the wardens about my suicide attempt, since the psychotherapist's oath states that every topic spoken about between a psychologist and its clients remain confidential unless the client plans to harm itself or other, then the psychologist is obliged to act to it. And I take Samantha as a very ethical psychologist. A stark contrast between now and a few days ago, when I took her for a fame mongering Hollywood therapist.

A guard comes walking in with a plate of food, my breakfast. She also hands me the utensils, plastic ones. I let the serrated edge of the knife run over the palm of my hand with no result and I glare unimpressed at the warden, who sat opposite to me, probably checking if I didn't purposely tried to choke myself to death on my. Suicide watch isn't as bad as it seems, but being constantly watched is incredibly unnerving.

After my breakfast, I was brought back to the practice. Where Samantha was waiting in the chair she always sat in.

''Scarlett.'' She warmly greeted me as if there was no friction between us.

''Hello.'' I quietly greeted. Of course I was happy to resume the therapy, but not to her extent. Not yet at least. I sat down in the other chair instead of the lounger, perhaps as a sign of attitude change.

''Are you ready for this?'' Samantha asked.

I briefly think of her question. ''Can I ask 1 more thing from you?'' I cautiously asked her.

''Go ahead!'' Samantha cheerfully answered, most likely not yet aware of the seriousness of my question.

''Do you swear on the ethical oath that everything spoken about in this room stays between you and me?'' I asked her. Samantha solemnly held her hand up and nodded. She then showed the inside of her jacket.

''As you can see, I'm not having a panic button on me, that means that I trust you with sincerely undergoing this therapy. If that trust is misplaced, say it now.'' Samantha sternly advised me, I was slightly taken aback by this response, but once again, I let it go so far that she had to say this.

''I have nothing to say.'' I replied.

We both smiled at each other as I could feel a little bond of trust forming already.

''Great! Let's start with a monologue from your point of view about how you got in here.'' Samantha said, taking a notepad.

''Okay. It began on Total Drama Pahkitew Island. There…There…'' I noticed I had great trouble continuing, and I didn't know why.

Samantha reached into her briefcase and retrieved a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. ''Here, have a cig, it lets you relax a bit.'' Samantha offered, holding the pack in front of me with 1 sticking out. I know as a matter of fact that cigarettes don't let someone relax, the nicotine gives me the idea that you're relaxed. I take the cigarette nonetheless. Samantha flicks on the lighter but stopped when she spotted something on the ceiling.

''Hold on!'' She told me before she climbed onto her chair and took the battery out of the smoke detector hanging above me.

''You offer a lot of your clients cigarettes, don't you?'' I asked her with a raised eyebrow.

''Yeah, but never more than 1.'' Samantha answered before lighting my cigarette and putting everything away. ''You know, otherwise I'll get angry calls from the local Secret Smoker League! Which has happened once already!'' She half-jokingly informed me, and we both laugh a little, which made me cough as I choked on my own smoke. Even though it was only for something small and I almost died, it has been a long time since I was humored, and it felt good. [1]

''Back on Pahkitew Island, I met Max…'' I began explaining out of the blue. Getting only a little angry at the mention of his name. This cigarette is making me really loose lipped and oppresses my fury. The nicotine is doing a good job already.

''Aha.'' Samantha nodded as she quickly wrote on her notepad.

''And my first impressions of him turned out to be accurate. Sure, I was a little surprised that he could make nifty inventions, but seeing that he failed to use them properly by forgetting something trivial as an unplugged wire proved that he was a boastful, moronic and highly incompetent wannabe. And when that buffoon takes credit for what was mostly my input, then you're getting on my wrong side!'' I explained, squeezing the cigarette lightly after I'd taken it out off of my lips.

''Hold on, let's continue on that subject!'' Samantha abruptly called, pointing her pen at me. ''Did you have those feelings in the past before Total Drama?''

I thought about her question until I remember something significant. '' When I was 15, I went to a boarding school back then, I was assigned to do a project about bioluminescence with my roommate, Margaret Bannister.''

''Lannister?'' Samantha asked slightly confused. Funny, everyone back at school made that mistake too. Did her name sound that alike? [2]

''No, Bannister.'' I corrected her. ''It was the day before we had give our presentation of the project, we had worked day and night to make it pitch perfect. She came to congratulate me on a successful partnership. And you know what she told me right after?'' I asked her with the fury building up in my voice.

''No.''

''That I was the perfect assistant and that she's giving the presentation! While I had done most of the work!'' I answered before I angrily banged my fist on the chair. That hurt.

The nicotine has left my system. Samantha, please be prepared for what might come.

''I see, interesting.'' Samantha quietly replied. ''And how did you deal with that? Because you were obviously very angry.''

''I created a potent laxative overnight and spiked her breakfast with it.'' I plainly answered as if it was no big deal. I saw Samantha's eyes widen and perhaps I heard her quietly gasp as well. ''So just after she had welcomed the public viewing our presentation, the laxative kicked in and she dashed off the stage and I gave the presentation, but not before I made a snide remark about how nervous she must've been.'' I finished explaining, and I couldn't help but feeling a little ashamed about it.

''And what happened after the presentation?'' Samantha asked, obviously a little bit disgusted.

''Not much. The project received an A and when I returned to our room, Margaret was taking a shower. So I think I've made the laxative a little too strong.'' I told her, chuckling at a slightly frowning Samantha after my stupid attempt to do it off as a joke. I could feel the blood running in my cheeks.

''Aha.'' Samantha responded, the disapproval notable in her voice, making me feel a little worse. ''And what would happen if you feel like you didn't get your revenge?''

''What happened on the show, that's what happens if I don't get it. I only get more frustrated, and this frustration, desperation and a certain need for acknowledgement eventually led me to…You know, almost blowing up an island, just to show that Max couldn't have done anything.''

Samantha glared at me with a raised eyebrow. ''So you almost blew up an island just to prove that you're better than someone else? I'm not meant to judge, but that's still kind of cruel.'' Samantha casually noted.

Despite her being as polite as possible. I began to breath with gradually more fury. How does Samantha know what's cruel? Has she been with me my entire life?! No! She knows nothing about cruelty! ''Cruel?'' I grumble. ''Cruel?! You don't know what's cruel!'' I practically shouted right after.

''Scarlett, settle down. I-''

''Do you know what's cruel? rotting away in here, where the food tastes like the shit we crapped out the day before, being outside might get you your organs stolen and showering gives you gynophobia while others gets to go to college and come here to rub it into my face!'' I shouted at Samantha, telling her exactly how I felt as I grabbed her by her collar while she looked relatively unfazed by my anger. ''Locked up in here after a soviet style show trial, only without the relieving execution! That's cruel!''

''You know what else is cruel?'' I furiously asked her as I let go of her and began stomping around the room. ''A little girl whose parents are always too busy with work to notice that her brother pesters her in any way possible without him ever getting punished! A girl whose mother only tells her bedtime stories during holidays, if she's lucky of course! Being a 4 year old child…'' I shout in complete anger as tears begin to form and my shouting slowly turns into sobbing while I sit back in the chair. ''…Who has so many things to tell, but has no one who listens to her!'' I finished, letting my head fall on my folded arms, which laid on my legs as I cry silently. Those things always bothered me, but until now, I never realized how much. But why am I telling it now? Do I trust Samantha this much?

It remained quiet between me and Samantha for a while as the only sound in the room was my sobbing. Samantha then calmly rubbed my back. ''Wasn't that relieving or what?'' She soothingly asked me. ''Your mother suspected something like that, that's partially why I expected a lengthy answer when I first asked you about your childhood.'' She explained as she stopped rubbing my back. ''And despite all of that, I have a feeling that you still have a lot of respect for your mother.'' Samantha noted.

''Of course.'' I replied before I had to sniff my nose, Samantha directly offering me a tissue, which I accepted. ''Thank you. After all, she's my mother. She did what she could to provide for me and without her I wouldn't have been born!'' I answered, doesn't anyone respect their mothers? Or at least those who act in the maternal capacity? And then they call me cruel. Tss.

''But why would you join Total Drama to win the million dollars when both your parents have well paid careers?'' Samantha asked slightly confused before she took a file out of her briefcase and scrolled through it. ''Unless something changed, a nuclear engineer and a astronautic must earn a lot of money together!'' She remarked. Judging by the thickness of that file, mom must've given her a lot of information about my parents and me. [3]

''I've always tried to impress them, but their impressive careers raised the bar so high! I wanted to pay for the best available educations all by myself to further impress them.'' I answered as I glumly looked at the floor.

Samantha smiled warmly at me. ''I know how hard peer pressure is.'' She supportively told me. Rubbing my shoulder again. ''After all, I had Amy. She was always the twin with the better grades, the better skills. So for a time, I thought: why would I even try to impress them? But you know what I found out shortly after the show Scarlett? That your parents don't care about that, as long as they know that you're doing your best!'' She assured me, I weakly smiled at her as I realized why my mother wanted Samantha to be my psychologist.

We are much more alike than we thought we are.

''Thanks.'' I quietly but gratefully told her, still a little overcome by the emotions.

''And with that, I think I have a accurate diagnose.'' Samantha announced as she stopped writing and clicked her pen. ''You have serious attention issues as a result of mild neglect as a child. You want people to acknowledge your accomplishments and if you feel someone else gets said acknowledgements, you might go to disproportionate levels to justify yourself. The same goes for situations where you feel like someone did you injustice and get away with it. Yet I take that your regretful disposition towards the actions in your life regarding these traits as a sign that you want to cooperate to help with these issues.'' Samantha formulated with a great level of professionalism I never expected to hear from her.

''Absolutely.'' I interrupted her.

''A perennial therapy is the most effective option. And if the first sessions book significant progress, I predict that you might be released before Christmas to slowly begin with a restart of your life.'' Samantha concluded, smiling at me.

Unbelievable. A week ago, I was rotting away in my cell with a cynical attitude towards everything and especially the day of my release, and now I'm almost excited to hear that I might be released before the end of the year. I don't care that I might be stuck to therapy for years, it's only beneficial to me and I feel comfortable with the therapist, finally. Despite all of that, I can't be enthusiastic just yet, as the 2 foremost subjects I was cynical about back then still haunt me.

''But what about the press hounds? They'll be all over me!'' I worriedly asked her.

''That won't be so bad. After about a year, they left us to be, and then I really mean left us to be. We were practically forgotten!'' Samantha lively explained.

''And what about my education? My freedom won't be worth anything to me if I can't learn. And there'll definitely be some people who still remember me, and if a few people do, then-'' I said as I gradually begin to panic again at the thought alone.

''I know a nice little community college that's just the place for you. They have experience in dealing with having former TV personalities, as I got my degree there too. We can work something out there.'' Samantha assured me.

''Not Amy?'' I curiously asked.

''No, she went to a police academy instead. Last time I heard she was part of a special police squad in Ottawa, arresting dangerous suspects, raiding buildings and such.''

''That's nice.'' I mumbled as I nodded my head slightly. Amy went for a more physical approach of the law while Samantha went for the sensitive one, how typical.

''What's even nicer is that she's far away from here and I only get to see her during holidays!'' She informed me rather humored, of which I could cast a small grin as well even though I couldn't tell if she was joking or if she was happy that she was relatively far away. I wonder how their current relationship is. But just as I wanted to ask, someone then knocked on the door.

''Time's almost up doc.'' A warden called. Already? How long have we been in here?

''Alright.'' Samantha replied.

''Thanks for everything in advance Samantha. And sorry for everything too, from the deceptions to the outrage just then.'' I humbly apologized.

''That's okay. I've been shouted at my whole life!'' She sweetly responded, despite the slightly dark implications behind the response. Samantha stood up and knocked on the door, which the warden unlocked and opened to cuff me and take me away.

''Until next week Scarlett!'' She greeted me.

''Yes. Until then.'' I calmly greeted back, nodding my head slightly at her as I was taken out of the room, for the first time with a very content feeling.

[1] Just because Smokers Anonymous might be a registered name, I came up with my own anti-smoking organization!

[2] A reference to the house with the same name from Game Of Thrones and additionally the books based on the series.

[3] I indeed had to think around this a little. Because really, I let her parents have these careers but if your parents have such well paid jobs, would you risk live, limb and self-respect to win a million dollars to fund your study while they make that amount in a year without even trying?

Only 1 chapter left, and that's the epilogue! It's going to be a short chapter containing a few insignificant scenes of Scarlett pulling her life back together. From the day that she's released from the clink to the day the effects of her therapy are tested to the limit.

Tot over hopelijk 1 week!

Me for MP (Talk about arrogance!),

L.W.