Chapter 30.

Ten Years Earlier:

"Mommy! Mommy, come back!"

Callie rolled over, roused from her sleep, to find Jude thrashing around in the next bed, crying hysterically. Sighing, she sat up. "I'm coming, Judie. Hold on."

She climbed out of bed, and went to his side of the room, shaking him awake.

"Mommy," he whimpered, peering up at her through watery brown eyes. He held his arms up for her, silently begging for her to hold him.

Callie knelt down to kiss him. "Mommy's here. Don't cry."

She crawled into his bed, and pulled him into her lap, softly singing to him. It was a ritual that was happening at least twice a week. It started the first night they came to live with the Segals. Jude had had a nightmare, and woke up screaming for their mother. Callie had gone to comfort him, and when he awoke, Jude had confused her for Colleen in his sleepiness; they looked so much alike, even though Callie was only ten. Afraid to make Jude sadder, she'd gone with it, soothing him just as their mother would have.

Jude grasped a handful of hair, holding it to his cheek, as she rocked him. Holding him in the dark, she thought of their mother, and felt a pang of loneliness. She looked down at her thumb wistfully; she wanted to suck on it, but her pride kept her from doing so. If anyone knew that she, a ten year old girl, still sucked her thumb, she would die of humiliation. It was bad enough that she had wet the bed the week before. The Segals were nice about it, but waking up to soaked pajamas had still caused her to burn with shame. She had to be a grown-up. Her baby days were over. She was the mommy now. She had to be, for Jude.

Callie continued to comfort her brother. She'd sung every song she knew, and had just resorted to the Brady Bunch theme song, when he finally nodded off in her lap. She held him close, staring into the dark, wishing for her mother.

"Callie? What are you doing up, sweetheart?"

She turned around to see Mrs. Segal standing in the doorway. The middle-aged woman approached her. "Nothing," she whispered. "Jude just had a nightmare."

Mrs. Segal sat down on the edge of the bed. "I hear him crying sometimes, but he always seems to calm himself down. I guess it's you who's been comforting him, huh?"

"He misses our mom," Callie told her, once again glancing down at her thumb.

"You miss her too, don't you?" her foster mother asked.

Callie nodded shyly.

Mrs. Segal reached out to brush her long hair back. "You comfort Jude when he's sad, but who comforts you?"

"I don't need anyone," Callie told her, shaking her head. "I'm fine."

"I hear him call you mommy sometimes," the older woman admitted, her face drawn with sadness.

"It's just pretend," Callie quickly explained. "It makes him feel better."

Mrs. Segal stood up and lifted Jude out of his sister's lap, laying him down on his pillow. The six year old rolled over, curling up in a fetal position. "Callie," she said softly. "You're just a little bitty girl, yourself." She pulled her foster daughter into her lap, cradling her in her arms. "You don't have to be his parent. That's my job right now. Your job is to just be a kid."

Suddenly, feeling threatened, Callie pulled away. "No. I'm all he has." She turned away, tears stinging her eyes. "You can't take him away from me."

Sighing, Mrs. Segal went to her. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean anything by it." She put her hand on Callie's shoulder and led her to her own bed, tucking her in. "Get some sleep. You have school in the morning."

She left the room, leaving the door open a crack, the hall light filtering in. Once she was gone, Callie turned to face the wall. She looked back to make sure she was really alone. When she was sure she was, she popped her thumb in her mouth and began to suck it, her tears rolling down her cheeks.

"Hey, snuggle bunny," said Brandon, coming into the kitchen. He went to the stove, where Callie was standing, and wrapped his arms around her from behind, cupping her breasts in his hands.

"Hi," she said, glancing back, still pounding down her biscuit dough.

"Uh-oh," Brandon sighed. "Biscuits and gravy. Something's wrong."

She turned to him. "Why does something have to be wrong?"

"Because I know you," he replied. He sat down and gestured for her to come over. He pulled her into his lap, gently rubbing her thigh. "When you're scared, your rub your nose. When you're mad, your eyes get bigger and you shake your head a lot. When you want me to kiss you, you look at my lips..."

With that, Callie involuntarily glanced down at Brandon's mouth, and he gave her a soft peck in return.

"... and when when you're sad, you make biscuits and gravy." He nuzzled her cheek with his nose. "What's the matter, baby? Talk to me."

"I just have a lot on my mind," she sighed, holding onto his shoulder. "I can't stop thinking about having a baby."

Brandon was silent for a moment. "I know, honey," he finally replied. "But I thought we agreed to wait a while?"

"I know we did," she nodded. "It's just... I'm used to having someone to take care of. I need to be needed." When she'd moved in with the Quinns, she was actually pleased to discover how clingy and immature Sophia was. She quickly became her second mother, just as she'd done with Jude.

"That's all you've ever known," he nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "You know, I need you."

"It's not the same," she told him quietly. She looked up at him. "Brandon, I almost did something stupid."

"What?" he asked with concern.

"Promise you won't get mad?"

"I promise," he agreed, rubbing her arm.

Resting her head against him, she took a shaky breath, praying Rita's advice was right. "For like, a split second, I actually considered going off my birth control behind your back, so I would get pregnant."

"You did?" He studied her, his brow creased. "Huh. That's not like you, Cal."

She looked down, ashamed. "I'm so sorry. But I don't think I could've actually done it. I'm mad at myself for even thinking about it."

She looked back up at him. "Please, Brandon. Say something?"

"The pregnancy scare... was that really an accident?"

"Yes," she told him. "It was. I didn't even think about stopping the pill until this morning."

He touched her cheek, turning her head to face him. "Hey... I believe you. It's okay"

"I wouldn't lie to you," she promised him, looking straight into his eyes.

"I know you wouldn't. And I wouldn't lie to you, either." He sighed. "I'm just not ready to be a father yet, Callie. It scares me."

She gave him a puzzled look. "It does?"

He nodded. "After what happened to Lena... she almost died, and she lost the baby. I wouldn't want to live if something happened to you."

"But that won't happen to me," she told him, lovingly massaging his shoulder. "I'm younger than Lena was, and I'm healthy."

"It's not even just that," he continued. "It's a lot of responsibility. Babies cry all night, and we need our sleep. We'd never have time to study. It would be so hard to balance everything. I just think we should wait until after we graduate, when our lives are a little easier."

"What if you're not ready to have a baby then?" she fretted. "I just want a family of our own. Graduation seems so far away..." she felt as if she might cry.

He shrugged. "I'm sure the time will go by before we know it." He swept her hair back from her face, giving her a pained look. "But I know this means a lot to you, and you know I would do anything for you. It's your body, so I'm going to let you make the decision."

"Really?" she asked, skeptically. "You mean that?"

He nodded. "I just want you to be happy. Whatever you choose is fine with me. All I ask is that you think it over carefully before deciding."

"I will," she promised. "Thank you, Brandon." Leaning in, she gave him a tender kiss. "I love you."

He touched his forehead to hers, looking into her eyes. "I love you too."

"I guess I'd better finish making dinner," she announced, sliding off his lap and going back to her biscuit dough.

Brandon rose to his feet. "I'm gonna go relax for a little while."

Callie cut the biscuit dough, laying the circles on a baking sheet. As she popped them in the oven, she heard the soft strains of the guitar coming from the living room. Turning, she saw Brandon sitting on the couch, strumming peacefully. She recognized the tune right away. It was their song: Outlaws. Hearing it, her heart filled with adoration. Suddenly, she wasn't hungry for biscuits and gravy anymore. She put the package of sausage back in the freezer. They could always have the biscuits for breakfast with honey. Leaving the kitchen, she sat down in the love seat, across from Brandon.

He looked at her curiously, his fingers pausing against the guitar strings.

"Brandon?" she asked.

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering... will you serenade me?" She blushed. "If you're not busy, I mean."

He smiled broadly, his eyes lighting up. "Didn't I tell you I'd serenade you anytime you please?"

She sat back as his voice filled the room, listening to the romantic lyrics he'd written for her.

To Be Continued... Callie has a tough choice to make. What do you think she'll decide?