The storms... she had always found them soothing.
Even when she was a little girl living in the orphanage, and even when all the kids would go crying with the nuns or try to hide under the blankets when a lightning stuck; she still loved storms.
She used to spend those nights near the windows, watching the raindrops fall through the glass, hearing the whistle of the wind; daydreaming...
In those nights she wouldn't wet the bed nor had nightmares.
It was like if everyone disappeared around her, a blissful loneliness; she would imagine a place were her parents weren't dead, were she would eat whatever she pleased, were she would travel to any place, were she would meet nice and interesting people...
But right now not even the hurricane that was happening outside could have take her to that happy place inside her mind.
She was starting to feel claustrophobic, she wanted to be outside... no, she needed to be outside; she could feel the ire rising in her chest, the burning at the back of her eyes, her muscles tensing. She was so weak, and she felt so sick with herself, why was she so weak? She was a fucking monster! and still couldn't protect the only person left on the damned world that she really cared for!
The smell of leather was making her head hurt and her stomach to turn upside down.
Why did he had to use a limousine? He could have taken a fucking bicycle and she wouldn't have cared less. She had started to hyperventilate, and had asked him to stop, but he totally ignored her.
Of course that made her feel even more worthless and furious. That kind of crappy attitude of him, one moment being so sadistically happy and the other being cold and distant. Was he a fucking fifteen year old schoolgirl?!
He didn't even have the decency to turn around and look at her.
Seras gripped the door and squeezed hard. She was facing the window, but perfectly saw in the reflection how Alucard watched her by the corner of his eyes.
Once again she was at his mercy, being his little puppet, he deciding her every move and watching how much of a failure she was; abusing her with every word that left -or did not left- his monstrous mouth.
Immerse in her hateful thoughts, she had lost all sense of time. When she came back to reality was thanks to being suddenly grabbed the wrist by Alucard, he had opened her door and literally dragged her out of the car.
She was still very tired, and by the look in his eyes she decided to stay quiet...for now.
She followed him and noticed that they were on a forest, long gone the limousine and the civilization was left behind.
After walking 3 hours straight they finally made it to their destination.
As she had suspected he had take her to a castle. It was at least 2 times bigger than the Hellsing manor and it was perfectly hidden in the middle of the forest between ancient trees and wild weeds.
"Keep walking." Alucard told her dryly as he walked past her. She just glared at his back and started to walk deliberately more slowly then usual.
Alucard didn't pay her more attention and continued with his pace. Seras stopped for a moment, trying to calm herself, she knew he was mad; but right now she was starting to suspect he was like really, really mad... she had saw his blank expression, but she also noticed the tense jaw and the glow in his eyes that indicated suppressed rage.
So right now she needed to stay quiet and docile, and if possible no more defiant looks; maybe he was just waiting to enter the castle and then... and then.. she didn't know what.
She swallowed hard and sprinted to were Alucard had rounded a corner.
She had only saw him act like this around Integra. With every passing year her patience with Alucard was less and less, so she would punish him and he would spends entire days in his chambers without a drop of blood. If she was lucky they would send him out on a mission, if not, then she was the one to pay the piper.
She was the one to deal with his temper and he even feed from her when he couldn't handle it more.
And she couldn't go to Integra because that just would worsened the things for her; Alucard had told her not to bring Integra in their problems, 'she is a human, she wouldn't understand.' he had told her once.
Of course that all changed when she drank his blood and stopped being his fledgling. He ignored her for a whole month after the night she requested her freedom; she thought he was happy to finally be rid of her, but it looked like he was offended or something like that, with Alucard you could never tell.
Alucard was standing in front of two giants wooden doors, two dragons carved in each door; they looked very old and worn out, Seras had the impression that if she touched them they would fall from its hinges.
Suddenly, as if to proof her wrong, the doors burst open.
The first thing Seras noted was the gorgeous garden and the big fountain in the center; it was obvious that the garden needed some attention but it was still eye catching.
'Maybe something to do in my free time..." Seras thought as she walked behind Alucard.
They passed the garden and the fountain until they made it to another pair of big doors -not as big as the others, but still pretty big- they were made from metal and looked very heavy, they also had strange symbols ,like the ones Alucard used to had in his gloves, painted in the center.
"Give me your hand." Alucard demanded.
Seras frowned, but did as he say. He took her hand and place it over the doors, he muttered something in a language that she couldn't understand and the symbols glowed. For a moment Seras watched in awe, but after a few seconds there was a burning feeling in the hand that was placed in the doors so she quickly took it off with a yelp.
The doors opened slowly, the rusty metal creaking loudly.
Alucard entered first, Seras hesitantly followed him; hugging her burned hand against her chest. The main room was as big as her late home, it had a high ceiling and a luxurious chandelier hanging in the center; there were also two big stone stairways in each side of the room that joined in the second floor.
Alucard sighed tiredly and pinched the bridge of his nose; his head was a mess and he needed to be alone for a while. He took a deep breath and spoke, his back to Seras.
"You are not allowed to leave the castle... and don' . ." He glared at her from the corner of his eyes, barely turning his head so she could look the displeasure on his face.
Seras scowled profoundly, but said nothing.
"Choose whatever room you like." And with that, he disappeared through a wall.
For a while she remained rooted to the spot, the weight of the situation just settling in her. She still needed to find why Alucard wanted her by his side; was this some kind of punishment for running away? Why did he seemed to confused?
She didn't want him around but neither wanted to be ignored or be treat like a child!
Tears formed at the corner of her eyes just by remembering the grotesque scene of Hans body.
How dare he! Alucard lived to make her miserable and unhappy, she was sure of that! And she could do nothing to stop him!
"AAAHH!" Seras punched the wall, making a big hole in the stone wall, yelling at the top of her lungs trying to relieve some frustration.
She stayed there, her fist still embedded in the wall. She glared at the wall, shaking from the rage; wanting nothing more then to rip his ugly head from his ugly body.
But then, she fell to her knees, feeling utterly defeated and useless. Her fist clenching so tightly that her palms began to bleed.
After everything that he had put her through, after everything he had taken from her! Even after that, he still needed more from her, to see her once again submitting to him, weak and cowardly.
She had always been the second choice, always being the replacement, a mere toy, a source of entertainment, she had been used and disposed like a mere thing. And now that she had finally found the happiness that she longed for so long he had to appear and tear it from her hands.
He had never cared for her, that was just an illusion, a fantasy created by her loneliness; the only way she knew to keep herself from falling into madness...
But the worst of all this ordeal was Hans.
She had saw his beautiful blue eyes slowly fading away; he had look her directly into her, and his eyes had held such sadness that she was sure she would remember it by the rest of her cursed existence.
She didn't even now if he was alive...
No! She yelled to herself. She couldn't think in that way, she refused to believe that Hans was dead, if he had survived the blue flames from Millennium -and being ripped in half may not be the same neither less drastic- then he sure had to heal from this; she knew that Hans, just as her, possessed a strong will … yes, he had to be alive...
A part of her was sure of that; that part that encouraged her to stay strong and to not let Alucard break her, to keep being brave and to never lose hope... that 'human' part -as Alucard had put it- that never really disappeared... But the other part...
The other part told her to accept that she couldn't defeat Alucard and just go with the flow, that she was just being an idealistic fool, lying to herself, thinking that she was somehow special, ja! More than special she was lucky, lucky that he wasn't tired of her and her constant insubordination and hadn't already killed her. That part mocked and insulted her...
She shakily got up, her form still trembling, her knees still weakened, but with renewed hope in herself.
Both parts were wrong and at the same time right; she was nothing compared to Alucard, her chances of defeating him were null... so fight him was out of the question.
Seras recalled Alucard words 'You hid from me a whole year...' it was weird now that she thought about it. She wasn't hiding from him at all... she didn't wanted to see him ever again but she never really hid...
Does that mean that he had been searching for her, but couldn't find her? The only one who could answer her was the very same Alucard...
She scoffed while walking to the upper levels of the castle; dawn was approaching and she still needed to chose her sleeping quarters.
Right now she needed to recover from her wounds and blood loss... she also needed to be calm and less agitated if she wanted real answers from him.
After wandering for about 1 hour she reached a dead end.
She was about to turn around but the glint of something coming from the end of the hall caught her attention. She scanned the wall, at first glance she noted that it was made of black stone, it was damp and had a lot of moss... moss that outlined a rectangular form... she narrowed her eyes and scanned the wall more meticulously.
There! A small piece of rusty gold... wait, it was a handle... or what was left of it.
Seras cleaned the moss from the remaining piece of doorknob and inspected it. It looked like if someone had tried to pull the thing off, but just managed to break a part of the handle and just leaving the door lock.
Seras looked behind her, as if expecting for Alucard to appear; but she was alone in the cold hallway, the rhythmic sound of the raindrops falling through the leaks of the old walls her only companion.
She wasn't sure if this door was hidden purposely or it had been a mere coincidence that the moss had gathered in a way that prevented the door from being seen... but the door itself looked like a part of the wall...and the knob had been clearly broken by someone...
Hidden purposely or not she wanted to see what was on the other side.
If Alucard didn't wanted her to find this door then he surely would have hid it better, also, he wouldn't have let her roam free through the castle to chose her own room, right?
She rapidly cleaned the moss with her hands. When the door was a little more visible she looked down at her hands and wrinkled her nose in disgust; they were damp and sticky, so she quickly wiped them clean on a nearby curtain (taking pleasure in dirtying such expensive-looking item) and with a satisfied smirk she turned once again to look at the mysterious portal.
For a second she slapped herself mentally for not remembering that she could just phase through the wall...but then, Alucard could be monitoring her. She huffed and looked annoyed for a moment; of course he was! He was waiting for her to try and escape or do something stupid! But she'll be damned if she gave him the pleasure!
She took a step forward with such determinant look on her face that- if looks could kill- the door would have melted on the spot.
Seras put a hand on the door and pushed slightly... it was locked. She could clearly tell that the door was made from the same heavy and thick stone that the walls.
For a moment she pondered on how she could open the door without being too noisy or using her powers... and then, she remember it. A long time ago, when Alucard had been disappeared and she was still getting use to her newly awakened powers, Pip had taught her how to pick a lock.
It was so many years ago and she was so accustomed to use her powers that she had almost forgot... a pang of guilt made her stop for a moment.
But then again, it wasn't the right time to think about the past, at least not now.
Seras was grateful that she had decided to let her hair grow long, the damned thing was a pain in the ass to comb and then she had to, or put it on a ponytail or use those little hair grips to hold it in place... And that was exactly what she needed.
She searched through her messy hair for one, founding it in the same place she had put it it the previous night.
A big triumphant smile formed in her lips.
She knelt in front of the door and quickly but with extreme ability, she started to work on the lock. After a few failed attempts, finally the lock gave away and with a loud creak the door opened.
A draft of cold air reached her face, the smell of damp, blood and something else that she couldn't recognize came out of the room.
She entered very slowly, looking behind her every few steps she took, taking her further into the mysterious room.
When her eyes adjusted themselves to the darkness; she saw an enormous room with high ceiling, leaks in every corner of the room -there was even a missing part of the ceiling were vines started to grow- but what caught her attention was the tall form covered by a deep blue fabric.
Warily, she walked to the thing. It was nine or ten feet tall maybe, it was covered by a deep blue velvet fabric and it had a rectangular form...
'A mirror?' Was the first thing it came to her mind.
The fabric was pulled and just as she had suspected beneath it was a very old mirror.
The edges were a rusty gold, the mirror itself had some scratches and a few missing bits.
She saw herself in the mirror, her clothes dirty and ripped, her hair messy and unwashed... her skin was paler than usual and her lips were cracked... she looked like a person with a terminal illness.
It was a second later that she looked up to her eyes that she had to take a step backwards, not believing what the mirror reflected.
Her once red eyes were now a sky blue.
The minutes ticked and she was still looking at them, lost in their beauty, in the color that was naturally hers so many years ago; lost in the past, lost in the longing and the deception.
They were completely blue, not a even a speck of red.
She was gaping, and then she noted the lack of fangs in her mouth.
She pulled her lips and gasped when she saw none. She also noted the change in her skin color, that minutes ago was as white as the moon and now it was warmer, making her look alive...making her look human.
Seras closed her eyes tightly, trying to hold her tears back.
But it was useless the moment she opened them again. Right behind her was Hans...
She immediately turned around, her hands reached for him but they touched empty air.
"No..." She frantically looked around the empty room.
Turning again to the mirror she saw him in the same spot, smiling at her like he rarely did.
"Hans.." She sounded so broken and lost. "I-I'm s-s-sorry..." falling to her knees she let the tears to fall freely, the sound of her crying echoed through the immense castle, it was like hearing the child she once was, mourning for the death of her parents and her lost childhood...
Alucard phased through the wall, trying to get as far as possibly from Seras.
The moment he appeared in his chambers his shadows flared to life, covering every inch of the room and whipping violently the few furniture Alucard possessed.
Alucard roared in anger, punching the nearest wall.
All the way from Russia to here he had been trying to stay calm, but just by watching her he could feel his temper rising again.
Seconds later his shadows retracted and left behind a mess of splinters and fragments of a broken mirror.
He ran a hand through his hair, then pulling it with enough force to make himself bleed; he snarled, he punched and kicked and growled, he passed the room like a caged animal, cursing at nothing and everything at the same time.
So many foreign emotions, so many of them at the same time, he though he couldn't have them anymore and then feeling them it was just to much for him. I can accept this! This can be! He tried to denied.
And was that? Why it bothered so much to find that Seras had gave herself to that filth animal? To know that they held such strong relationship? It disgusted him so much! He wanted to punish her, to make her see her mistake, and to make her understand that SHE BELONGED TO HIM!
His eyes widened. He blinked. He then roared and once again destroyed anything that was in his path.
Yes! She was his! He had created her! He had brought her back to life! She was his little toy and he could do what he pleased with her!
His throne appeared out of the shadows and he plopped down, his ire quite visible, but his confusion was almost palpable.
He tried to control himself; he did not want to hurt her... it wasn't her fault...
Wait, what!? Of course it was her fault! She was the one who ran away! She was the responsible for his arguments with Integra! She had been the one who had all of Integra's affections back in Hellsing! Integra had used her last breath in her, demanding him to search for her!... He wanted to break her, teach her to never disrespect him ever again...
With such dark thoughts in mind, Alucard appeared in the second floor searching for Seras.
His temper flared even more when he saw that damned door open.
He almost ran, eager to get inside and teach her a lesson; but suddenly, when he was about to step inside the room, he stopped dead in his tracks.
The saddest cry he ever heard reached his ears, making his undead heart flutter with a forgotten emotion, catching him completely unaware.
He frowned, not knowing what to do now.
Deception and jealousy was all he felt. He could only imagine what she had saw in the mirror.
Alucard despised, and at the same time feared the mirror.
Why? By the simple fact that the thing showed him what he really longed more than anything else in his undead life...a long time ago he had put himself in front of the object and in his vanity thought that it wouldn't work with him because he wasn't human anymore and didn't had any emotions at all...
What he saw surprised him and scared him so much that he had to hide the mirror in a place where no one would ever discover it.
No one entered this castle unless being bounded by blood with it; and until recently he had been the only one able to pass further the garden.
So yeah, a hidden chamber with a broken lock in the second floor was a good place to hide it.
Her cries continued for a whole hour, and he stood in the same place, still not knowing what to do; he felt so many things at the same time and felt so confused that it caused him temporal paralysis.
The time passed and her cries where less loud by each passing second until nothing else was heard from inside the room.
Cautiously, Alucard poked his head through the gap of the door and searched for Seras.
The girl was sleeping soundly at the foot of the great mirror, curled in fetal position. She looked like a homeless, her clothes dirty and torn in some places, her face stained with bloody tears.
Alucard frowned, dawn was minutes away and she still had no room to rest.
He took her in his arms and carried her, not even once taking his eyes off her; not wanting to look the mirror for even a second. The big stone door closed behind them, new and thicker moss grew all over it, this time hiding the door completely.
Inside the room, the blue fabric lifted itself from the floor and returned to its place over the mirror, it slowly melted into the floor, leaving behind only darkness.
The sky outside was different shades of red and orange, the sun slowly fading away into the distance.
Seras signed for what it felt the hundred time in the afternoon.
She looked into the distance, admiring the colors of the sunset and watching how the nature changed with the disappearance of the sun.
The flower buds closing, the crickets singing, the nocturnal animals starting to woke up; it was an magnificent show.
She looked down at her lap, where a unfinished drawing of a bird rested.
This time of the day was the only moment when she truly was alone. Every night exactly at 9 o'clock Alucard woke up.
It had been a month since he forced her to come with him; he used to spend all of his time in his room -sulking of course, she was sure of that.- until a week ago. He had appeared out of the blue as always, but hadn't spoke to her, in fact it seemed like he was avoiding her.
No, he didn't spoke to her or even look her in the eye, but watched her from the shadows every single night since he came out of his room.
All of this... it wasn't like him; why was he acting like this? Why did he brought her in the first place? She still needed to talk to him, but right now she wasn't sure... she didn't knew on what terms they were, was he still mad? Was he watching her because he was bored?...
Seras sighed once again, frustrated by her lack of knowledge.
She remembered the first weeks in the castle, how she cried all night until dawn came... she could only think of him...
Seras couldn't even think in his name without crying, and she hated herself for being like that but what else she could do? She loved him and he was the only one in all her immortal life that had loved her back without any kind of impediments or regrets...
She had imagined spending the eternity with him...but now life seemed meaningless without him.
Every night that passed he felt like a very distant dream; the moment you woke up it would start fading away, leaving only fragments of what it was... like a shattered melody...
Seras laughed humorless; recalling her younger days in the vampire world, the words once Alucard had told her in that battle...she still wondered how she kept herself sane in those months. Nazi vampires? a secret organization that hunted vampires? crazy catholics killing in the name of god? (well that's not new.)She had spend entire days without sleeping, thinking of all the new people she met and the ones to come...
Like Pip.
If she was sure of one thing in her life it was him, Pip Bernadotte... She loosed him twice, and it had hurt just as bad as the first time, or even more.
He was always going to have a very special place in her heart... she dared to say that even more especial than Hans or Integra. Forgetting him it was like forgetting herself, like denying herself... She would had never made it in the war, in the years without guidance or direction from her master without him... but most importantly, she would had never defeated Hans without Pip.
And how she missed him... the ever-so-present smell of cigarette and alcohol, alongside with gunpowder and his natural scent; the words of support and encouragement, the perverted jokes and the teasing...
She was sure that this was her penance, watching how everyone she loved died because of her. At the end not even a soul would remain, but her...
The sun finally disappeared completely into the distance; the colors of the sky melting away and leaving behind only darkness.
Seras stood up from her place in the balcony and entered the castle, thinking on what she could do to kill the time and keep her mind distracted from any thoughts related to Hans...
She already had taken care of the garden, she had cleaned all the first floor of the castle -cause damn, it was a hell hole, there was dust and moss everywhere, she even found a very old dead body in one of the hallways.- and had started with the second... but she didn't feel like doing that today, so the only option left was to explore the library.
She crossed the doorway to the old library, and big was her surprise to find Alucard sitting on a corner of the room in a very elegant red couch; reading an old book with a worn out leather cover.
He graciously turned a page of the book, seemingly oblivious to her presence.
Well, two can play this game; Seras though as she turned the opposite way of his and started to scan the bookcases hoping to find something enough interesting to forget about her current situation.
She still needed to find a way to escape him, maybe she could find something in the books. Back in Hellsing, Integra had a great variety of books; from sappy romance novels to metaphysics. So she hoped that this big room held a vastly collection such as her old home.
Of course, being this the home of Alucard and a very old place, everything was out of order, falling apart, and/or smelling funny.
Some shelves were broken, they were piles of old books with dust and moss, some of them were wet and unreadable, and some others were written on dead languages or ones that she couldn't yet understand.
She cursed silently and kicked the side of a bookshelf, out of sheer frustration, provoking dust to fly around.
Accidentally breathing some of it and provoking in her a fit of coughs.
She opened her teary eyes, one hand in her mouth and the other fanning the air in an attempt to dissipate the remaining dust. She was about to leave to other section of the library, but something scribbled in the wooden shelf caught her attention.
It was an eye... an eye inside a spade?...!
"What are you doing here?" Seras shrieked, turning around immediately.
"Well?" Seras just blinked a few times, both hands clamped in her mouth in a attempt to hide her hanging-open mouth.
"I -I." She gulped, not sure why Alucard had scared her so much...oh yeah, she was in the middle of a quest to find anything that will help her to escape from him.
Alucard raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer. Seras just stared, wide eyes studying as he looked behind her, his eyes narrowed, but quickly returned to his impassive expression
"I was just explo-" Alucard raised his hand, cutting her.
"There's nothing to read in here." He looked at her up and down. "At least not something you would understand." He added venomously.
Alucard turned to leave, but Seras quickly took his arm, stopping him.
"What's your problem!?" She screamed, exasperate by his constant rude behavior after everything he had put her through...ignoring her and now insulting her intelligence!
"What do you think you're doing?" Alucard growled, watching how Seras flinched and took her hand away.
Dammit! She hated herself for feeling fearful, but she knew what Alucard was capable of and that for his normal standards he was quite patience with her.
"Why did you brought me here?" Alucard was halfway the corridor bur stopped when he heard Seras asking him softly, almost sadly. He frowned, rooted to the place, and not knowing what to answer.
He was still confused with his own motives... he knew he was denying what he felt, and he felt so lost; he could only describe the feeling like being drunk... he knew what was he doing, but he was doing it out of an impulsive he just couldn't control. Everything felt like a dream, so bizarre and out of place...
"You don't know..." Seras said in disbelieving tone. She had saw the confusion in his eyes, hell he didn't even noted her when she walked in front of him.
Alucard just sneered and shoved her to the side, too angry with himself for letting his emotions to run rampant... he needed to get away from her. now.
"Why are you evading me?! Why!?" Seras cried as she followed him. She couldn't help but to feel lonely in the big old castle, being alone is something she couldn't stand for so long, she needed to have social interactions with anyone... being alone meant she had to think of Hans...
That last thought was unconsciously projected, so anyone with the ability and the right distance could have heard it...which happened to be Alucard.
And just like that, his temper flared.
Snarling viciously and with the speed of a cobra king, he grabbed Seras from the neck and lifted her of the ground.
"Do you want to know why?" he asked while smirking evilly, his tone promising something more than agony. "Why I don't show you?" Before she could even react to the madness that showed his eyes, Alucard had already kissed her.
For a moment, just for a moment, she was absorbed into the feeling of his lips on her.
But then, she remembered Hans.
Her short lived betrayal was enough to make her feel disgust with herself and also to make her feel even more angry towards Alucard. Seras kicked him hard in the crotch.
Instantly she was released, without wasting a second more she ran out of the library, not wanting to be near him anymore.
Alucard was hunched, both of his hands in his lower regions; his face scrunched in pain.
Seras had bolted out of the place thinking that Alucard would have been even madder with her for hitting him in such spot, but if she had stayed she would have discovered a very distressed Alucard.
He absently walked towards one of the chair in the library and plopped down, slouching his shoulders and looking utterly miserable. He had done it again... he had scared her away...
He felt so bad, not just mentally, but physically.
Alucard knew this was because he was free from the Hellsing seals. Those things had kept his powers sealed away, asleep... and now that he was free, they had came back tenfold. You see, all those years he been under the Hellsing leash he had grown even more powerful, but he never really used all that potential. It was like a time bomb, like of you gave three pounds of chocolate to a five year old kid, it was like being in a coma and then waking up years later, wanting to literally eat the world.
The seals had meant to keep him under control in every aspect of the word, even emotionally.
And now he was a total mess... he was afraid of loosing control and do something stupid.
It was obvious that he was even more stronger than when Van Hellsing defeated him; still, he would not underestimate the humans a second time and risk being captured once more.
Besides, he didn't feel that bloodthirsty... bored? Yes, but not bloodthirsty like other times... maybe he was already getting senile...
And the worst part was that not only affected his powers but his emotional stability. One moment he would be angry, and then the other sulking... remembering his past, remembering Integra...
He hated to admit it, because he remembered all the times he cursed Van Hellsing and dreamed of his freedom, but now that he had it... it didn't felt that good, seriously.
He felt so empty and lost...but overall lonely.
He missed Integra, he missed Hellsing... he missed his old routine, it was so simple and easy and comforting...
And now Seras, he had searched for her in a whim; he was thinking the exact same thing -that he missed Hellsing.- and then remembered his little fledgling. He had been shocked by his sudden confession back in Paris; the dead of Integra had been so recently -at least he felt that way.- and he had denied himself that maybe, just maybe, he could feel something for Seras.
He had said it so many years ago aloud that he cared for both of them... back in that day he had thought that, yeah he cared for them, but in a very different way.
With Integra, it had always been a constant fighting of power, who was more smarter, who lasted longer, who gave up first; he liked her power and how she would never fear him, she was perfect for him, she was like him... or at least that's what he liked to think.
He loved the idea of having her, of biting her, and have her by his side. A strong queen to a strong king.
She was a forbidden fruit, a Hellsing! It would have been like a proverbial middle finger to Van Hellsing! And that just make her even more desirable!
And then Seras... she was so human, and young, and kind... all the opposite to Integra, all the opposite to him, and at the same time so alike; a strong will, a fearless creature in the battlefield, and one that would do anything to survive. At first, he had tread her harsh, trying to get her out of her shy shell; wanting to see with his own eyes the potential he had sensed in her all those nights ago in cheddar.
And finally he had seen it the night Millennium attacked.
He couldn't recall any other moment he had felt such pride for someone else besides him. She was everything he had expected and even more.
She had drank from a human, she had unlocked her vampire side at its fullest, she had saw hundreds of people being killed by vampire Nazis, and even so, she remained with the same pure golden heart.
And how he hated that!
Why? It was not because it meant weakness as he had always told her, no! It was by the simple and sinful fact that he felt envy! Yes! He, a vampire of 500 years old, felt envy of a simple young ling because she had all this power and had retained her humanity.
He knew he was being immature and egocentric, but after everything he had done when he was human, killing in the name of god and thinking that he was doing the right thing... and he ended as a monster, worse then the criminals he had impaled...
He didn't noted Seras in that way until 10 years later of his returning from the limbo.
It wasn't like he woke up one day and thought 'oh I might feel something for my fledgling!', no, quite the opposite. They used to spend all of the time together, just doing whatever came to their minds. After Millennium all the remaining FREAKS were killed by Seras, so they weren't a lot of threats after that...they were some but were few and far between.
So after being so many years alone in that cell without doing nothing but to lose himself in his past, one night he found himself accompanied by this girl who was the same as him, a creature of the night, but so different from him, someone who had empathy and emotions.
It was then when he started to be cold and rude towards her, again.
It didn't lasted long because he grew bored quickly and Seras -being Seras.- couldn't hold a grudge against him... well, back then it appears so.
While he tried to push her away and convince himself that it was just lust... he ended up wanting her more. Which brought another problem... Integra.
He had took his time in accepting his feelings for his master, and it had been the same thing, first anger, then denying until he accepted it. And then, just like a schoolgirl, he was torn between to loves.
Of course this revelation did not happened until years later, just when Integra was about to die, and his relationship with Seras was almost non-existent. He was sure that Integra noted all of this, she often critiqued him for being so cruel to Seras, who Integra had grow to love like a daughter...
Which leaded him to another head-ache and swirl of emotions.
Jealousy, pure and unadulterated jealousy of his fledgling...
God, he felt so disgusted with himself; jealousy? Well, yes! Integra last words were 'find Seras'... he wasn't expecting a love declaration -hell no- but at least a thank you! Or a take care! Or something along those lines!
He had literally raised her, along with Walter, into the leader she used to be!...although, Seras and her cohabited for 30 years, which was a longer time period... Still! It had hurt him! And having all this mood swings like a fucking pregnant woman didn't help him at all!
He rubbed his face, feeling tired and guilty for his early behavior towards Seras...
Sighing, he got up and exited the library, slowly making his way towards Seras room.
He needed to apologize, he couldn't keep threatening her like this. Not only because of how he felt, but because after all she was the only person who cared for him.
Strangely, he couldn't picture himself spending the eternity with another person... it felt wrong, and besides, what Seras was it wasn't something one could find every day.
Or maybe he was just being over dramatic... after all she was still young, and hadn't lived half of the things he had.
He wished he was wrong tho, it was kinda relieving to know that he hadn't created a monster like him...neither him or the humans needed another one.
When he reached the door to her room he leaned forward and listened. He heard her gasp and heard the rustling of fabric.
Just before he reached to knock on the door he asked himself something, 'Is it love or loneliness?'
That thought stopped him for a moment, but then he decided that whether it was love or loneliness he still wanted Seras to be with him...
He sighed, and then knocked the door.
He heard her squeak in surprise, and a second later the door slowly opened; her face just barely peering through the gap.
"Seras I-" Before he could even blink, Seras had already slammed the door in his face with a panicked expression on her face.
Alucard sighed annoyed, not with her, but with him... after all he had scared her.
"Seras, I'm just here to talk..." His voice was calm and kind; like if he was talking with a child.
She didn't responded for a whole minute, so he spoke again.
"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to do that...i just that the seals that Hellsi-"
"You send her..." Seras quietly stated, it sounded like if she was speaking to herself, still, Alucard heard.
"What?" Alucard asked bewildered, what was she talking about?
"You sent Veronica after me, she tried to kill me..." Oh right!...right... Alucard slapped himself mentally; how could he had forgotten about that crazy redhead? He had been searching for Seras in Paris but couldn't find her anywhere! He couldn't smell her, or feel her! He had asked around and no one had know her... Until Veronica contacted him.
Alucard was never one to have minions or send someone else to do his own deeds; but he was mad and afraid to hurt Seras if he crossed her, so he send the vampire demon...
"Well I told her to bring you alive not death... but she wasn't very sane, my mistake." He apologized wholeheartedly.
"She tried to kill me because of a necklace." Seras tone was louder and sounded relax, like if she commenting about the weather, so casually.
"A necklace?" Alucard echoed. Vampires or not, woman were woman, he thought.
"Yes, a necklace. An eye inside a spade." Inside her room, were Seras rested against the door, she narrowed her eyes and listened attentively for any reaction from him.
His eyes widened. That was a very well know symbol for him...
"I suppose you didn't gave it to her?" He inquired curiously.
"Well no, I ate her..."
"And that necklace...who gave it to you?" Alucard asked suspiciously... Now everything made sense.
"Why do you wanna know?" Seras responded just as suspiciously, her voice gaining a defiant tone.
Alucard scowled, he really did not want to tell her. If his suspicious were right, Seras had been using an amulet, and a very powerful one; and those things were only made and handed by a witch.
Did she even knew?...was she lying to him?!
"Seras..." Alucard called her in low dangerous voice. "Tell me who gave it to you."
Seras eyes widened and she gulped, she could feel his mood change; It was like falling on a pond of frozen water...so suddenly and -literally- bone chilling.
"Someone gave it to me in a fair!" She squeaked out.
Alucard seemed to calm down a little, he released the handle of the door that he had been crushing and breathed deeply.
Wait... a fair? Was she mocking him!?
"Seras!" He hissed warningly.
"It's true! A fortune teller called Carmen or something like that gave it to me!" Seras replied panicked.
"Carmen?" Alucard asked in disbelieve. "A lanky-looking woman? Bright green eyes Spanish accent sunburned skin?" He rambled, his question coming out as one whole sentence.
"Ah, yes?" Well, it could be someone who looked like her...
Alucard gasped. His little, naive and ignorant fledgling had crossed paths with the romani witch... A powerful one, a few years older then him... And the reason as to why he had traveled to England all those years ago, back in 1893...
Rumors about her being able to turn vampires into humans was his main reason to chase her around Europe, also, he had heard of her stunning looks and was curious.
Obviously, his plans changed and since then he lost track of her and never had the chance to met her. Ironically, Seras had encountered her, and not just that! She had received a gift from her!
"Why everyone is so curious about who gave it to me?" After a while Seras asked, sounded irritated.
"It's a long history police girl..." He mused for a moment if telling her or not.
Seras eye twitched. Police girl? Again?!
"You see, that necklace of yours is a very powerful amulet...very possible the reason as to why I couldn't find you, when I was looking for you; it protects its owner..." Alucard voice trailed off. If his knowledge of how such things worked where right and up-to-date, the owner of the necklace just needed to think of the person or things he/she didn't wanted near and just like that, it worked.
So Seras really did not wanted him near... oh well, the werewolf was dead and he was the only person 'alive' that Seras knew, she wouldn't abandon him a second time! Oh no, he would make sure of that; she would stay, the easy way or the hard way.
Seras was speechless. So that was the reason why Alucard couldn't sense her!Now everything made sense!...well, not everything; like why Veronica wanted the necklace? Why the fortune teller gave it to her? Did she knew? Why Hans had a bad feeling about the necklace? And how exactly did it work this amulet?... She immediately thought about the eye inside the spade, the one in the necklace and the one in the bookshelf...
All of this looked very suspicious to her. Something inside her told her that she needed to go back to the library and search in there. Search what? She didn't knew, but anything to keep her busy was welcome; besides, Alucard -who had ignored her for a whole month- suddenly had appeared to question what was she doing in that place...
He would be an obstacle in her search; if he ever found about her intentions...That would certainly wouldn't end up well for her.
Seras looked down at her body, she had the same clothes from when Alucard had dragged her to this old and lonely castle...
"Can I go to the city?" She didn't knew if he was still there, but still she tried.
"No." Seras rolled her eyes. She already knew the answer, in fact, that was the answer she wanted to hear.
"I need new clothes." She paused for a moment, trying to sound really affected. "If you haven't noticed..." She added the last part quietly, deliberately making it sound like she was hurt by the fact that he hadn't noticed.
Alucard eyes went wide; vampire or not women were all the same.
"I'll go myself, you stay here." Alucard told her dryly, and then he walked away.
It took her a few moments to really believe that Alucard had fell into her trap. She slowly opened the door and peered into the hallway. Yes, he was gone.
She couldn't hold back the giggles that formed in her throat. He really was acting weird lately... but whatever, right now it was a race against time, and she couldn't waste it on thinking about his mood changes.
Seras made her way to the library, feeling a sense of hope forming inside of her; she tried not to rejoice tho. Her chances on finding anything useful were almost nonexistent, half of the books where unreadable and the other half she couldn't understand what was in them...
At least, standing in front of the wooden doors that led to the library Seras stopped and with one last thought walked inside the great room.
'Please Hans, wait for us...'
So how was it? this fic is almost over! 2 or 3 more chapters and it comes to an end... so leave a review and tell me how do you think it would end? Does Seras stills feels something for Alucard? is Hans DOA? Did you like the necklace explanation?
Does anyone have watched the movie Wolf Children ame and yuki? because a friend told me a week ago about this movie and it's about werewolves and single mothers and it's utterly cute and beautiful and someone should make a fic with Seras and Hans with the same plot! anyway, hope that everyone likes this chapter :)