I've worked here for a good two weeks now. I can't say I'm much used to it. I thought the first day was odd the second day even odder...the third day I knew that there was some type of pattern. I've found out that the oddest days are Wednesdays. It's proclaimed hump day. Last Wednesday Axl wore a banana costume and screamed out peanut butter jelly. Everyone was amused. Except for sigma who ripped the banana costume off of Axl and threw it out the window. Axl was stuck in short shorts and a shirt for the rest of the day. It was awkward. among that on Wednesday everyone else got random fits of rage. Like say for instance Wednesday was the only day out of the week X was super cranky. Like seriously this dude over here looked at everyone with a death glare. Let me explain.
X was the nicest sweetest dude ever on every single other day. But as soon as Wednesday came around he was out for blood. He would answer questions with snark and rage. He'd answer the telephone in the rudest way possible and no one could do anything about it. Not even sigma. Who steered clear of X on Wednesday. I learned the hard way. I walked up to X one fine Wednesday smiling and ready for a conversation. It went something like this :
"X, How's it going?" I walked up and leaned on his desk. X looked up at me with a death glare. I got up really quick.
"Now's not really a good time Rock." He said with a certain angry rasp in his voice.
"Is there anything wrong man?" I asked. There was no response. So I just got up and walked away slightly hurt. I went to go ask Zero what was wrong with X but he just looked at me with a stern glance and shook his head no and walked away. So on Wednesday I was cautious. There were other odd incidents on Wednesday. Like this one time Axl made it look like a murder happened. It almost gave me a heart attack. Everyone was in on it too. That was the sad part. But I got over it. Other incidents are as follows. Plastic forks everywhere. Lolipops stuck to the floor. Plastic cake in the fridge. I think Axl was behind that one. X wearing a fake beard for no clear reason. Sigma getting super happy for no reason. Porn pop ups on the computers. I could go on and on.
Now you're probably wondering. Why is he telling us about Wednesday? Well it's because today is Wednesday and as I walk into work today I'm contemplating all the shit that will go down today. I thought I was prepared last week but I wasn't. Axl had some sort of fruit juice blaster he randomly started spraying people with. I was wearing a white shirt. It didn't turn out so hot. So today I wanted to be prepared for anything like that. I was wearing a dark blue sweater and some black skinnies. No fruit juice shall stop me today. Whaha. Yeah no.
I walk into the office going past X's desk making sure that I don't get wrecked. Because today's not a good day to die. If I do die I certainly don't want to die on a Wednesday. That just seems like "Ha this guy didn't get finish his week." Dying on hump day. Lame. If I could pick a day to die, I would want it to be on a saturday. All the good stuff happens on saturday. Well for the most part. My mind wonders more as I sit down and get started on what I have to do.
I sit down and set up my connection line so I can start getting calls from customers. Everything seems nice and quiet. I'm feeling it. I start finishing a few policy write-up forms as the time keeps going. Work seems so quiet today. No outburst. No trolling. No crazy people. Is this some paradox or something? Holy shit. Look at me being productive. I smile smugly to myself as I finish all the work I was working on. Now I can chill until another person calls. Ah yes. It was then I realized that since I don't have anything to do I could go make some tea. So I get up from my desk. As I do this the room is still silent. I pick up the black spice tea bag from the counter when suddenly something unexpected happens.
A sudden alarm goes off. I drop the teabag quickly and start freaking out to myself. I hear sighs from all across the room. I look over at everyone. Zero comes running into the room and busts the door open and says. The first thing I think is "It's gonna get real"
"There's a man with a gun in building. So haul ass and get out of here. The company will not pay for your medical bills if you get shot." Zero says with a yell to his tone. Then he turns around and leaves the room leaving everyone to their thoughts. A loud sigh comes from Axl. I look over at him.
"Don't tell me it's come upset customer again?" Axl said as he stretched. Roll nodded her head.
"This crap is getting old. I'm going to start coming to work with my taser." Roll said as she glared at the situation at hand.
"W-Wait does this happen all the time?" I splutter out. Axl smirked.
"Yeah. It does. In fact all the guys who got shot were new. Just like you." Axl says. The way he says it makes me shutter. I had a bad feeling in my gut.
"Seriously?" I ask slightly shaken up. Axl laughs at this. Roll chuckles as well.
"No. But yeah people died. Like 2 or 3. But I won't let that happen to you bro." Axl says in his regular tone.
"As much as I enjoy this cute little moment we're all having...I'm getting out of here." Roll says as she grabs her purse and walks out. Axl and I start to follow her but suddenly Axl stops and I look over at him.
"Hey want to take my secret passage way out of here?" Axl says. I think about it for a second. I look at him and there's this smirk on his face. The same one that causes mischief. I've come to know that face in the last two weeks. There was always two outcomes of the situation when that face came up. One something really cool was going to happen. Or someone was really going to get trolled hard. Still every time I saw that face I followed along. Just like right now.
"Alright sure. So long as I don't get shot."
"Pffft. Okay." Axl said as he walked to a corner of the room and moved a bookshelf from a wall and moved it over to show a sudden door. I was a bit surprised. It was a awkward place for a door. Axl opens the door and nudges for me to follow him. I look inside of the door and honestly it looked like some Strider Hiryu stuff. As if reading my mind Axl says out loud :
"Strider Hiryu ready for battle" In the signature raspy deep strider voice. I smile at this and put on my strider pose. Axl puts on his and we start dashing through the tunnels like ninjas. Thinking back it was really silly. But still I didn't care. I was a pretty much grown man acting like strider hiryu in broad day light. I bet if someone looked at us we probably looked stupid as hell. But you know what? At that moment I didn't care.
The brick hallway was done and there was a door. I opened it. We were suddenly in the parking lot. I blinked as if I hadn't seens sunlight in forever as it hit my eyes.
"Why don't we take my car?" Axl says walking over a really bizarre car. I look it over and it looks like Herbie but black and stripped. It was fitting. But where in god's name did he find a car like that? So random. But with Axl...I guess you should expect stuff like that.
"Where are we going anyways?" I ask.
"Ice cream run." Axl answers as he unlocks the car.
We got into the car and Axl turned on his music. As soon as the keys started it up all I hear is "1970" by The Stooges. This makes me happy. Yeah this was my jam. As the lyrics start Axl pulls out of the parking lot and starts jamming to the song while reciting the lyrics. I have the urge to join him.
Alright now let me tell you this. You don't really know a person, unless you've jammed with them. It's the ultimate test of friendship. Like if they look over at you like "Don't kill my jam" You guys don't have that goodgood friendship. Now if they start pointing at you to sing certain parts and you guys join in doing motions to the song naturally. You guys are good. I joined in on Axl's jam session and it clicked.
We jammed until Axl stopped the car in front of a very familiar ice-cream joint. It was the same exact on that was around the corner from my house in the god plaza. I smile. This was place was that dude. They had the weirdest but the best flavors. Axl knew how to pick them. We walked into the familiar place and Axl starting talking.
"Dude. This place is epic." Axl said.
"I know. I go here like basically everyday." I say. Axl makes some sort of scrunched up face.
"Awww. I wanted to be cool and be an ice cream hipster." Axl says as we take our place in line.
"Ice cream...hipster?" I ask curiously.
"Yeah. Be all like "My ice cream is so diverse maaaaan. You don't even know." and maybe add some cool points." Axl says with fake sadness. I laugh.
"Well I bet you didn't count on my apartment being literally around the corner." I say with a small smile amused at the situation.
"Dude seriously? Lucky you. This is like the best plaza ever." Axl said.
"I know right." I say finally happy someone realizes the epicness of this plaza.
"So dude can I see your Rock lair?" Axl asks. I think about this for a second. I knew it was clean in there and stuff. It wasn't like anyone actually came to see me ever. So I was pretty quick to say yeah.
"Sure. I just got that new "Jojo's bizarre adventure" fighting game." I say. Axl's eyes light up with what look like mini stars.
"Dude are you cereal? I want to play that soooo bad."
"Yeah the game is just beautiful." I say. Axl and I go on to talk about how Joseph Jostar should totally be with Caesar and on and on until we get to the front up to the counter and I've got a permanent grin on my face. I look up to see a familiar face. My favorite ice-cream scooper. Tempo. Tempo smirks at me upon seeing Axl.
"Look at you Rock bringing someone else here in broad day light. You're normally here eating yourself into an ice cream induced stupor in the middle of the night. I see you've found a man." Tempo says smugly. I give her a look of disapproval. Axl laughs in the background. Tempo gets a kick out of this. We order our Ice cream then we get it. Axl got some crazy form of sherbet while I got green tea ice cream. Which is my favorite if you're asking. Which you probably aren't.
The conversations went on. From how awkward it is when an old man has an awkward colored toupee to random childhood events to daredevil and all the way back to cool sweaters. It was a great conversation. It was like this permanent grin I had on my face wouldn't ever go away after this. Today was turning out awesome.
After we got all done with the ice cream and I was about to walk out I tipped Tempo like I normally do. She made a motion for me to come closer. I did then out of nowhere she yelled.
"USE PROTECTION." right in my ear. Ouch. The rest of the customers looked over. Axl was already outside. Everyone was looking at me like I was crazy.
"THIS ISN'T SOME YAOI DOUJINSHI." I yelled back at her as I sprinted out the ice-cream shop. I could feel her smug smirk on me as I left. My face felt hot. I was embarrassed. I got into Axl's car and Axl looked over at me strangely.
"Drive." I said simply.
"Wait what?" Axl says slightly confused.
"DRIVE." I yelled. Axl made a oh shit face and pulled off. I never did explain myself.
It didn't take us long at all to get to my apartment. It was literally around the corner after all. When we get there I open the door and stuff. Axl's face was one of deep thought. I just guessed that he was guessing what would be inside when I opened the door.
My color scheme was blue. There was blue on blue everywhere. Axl started looking through everything and it's mom as I sat on the couch and turned on my Ps3. Axl comes and sits down next to me and grabs a controller. I put in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure. It's silent as we both Debate which character we're picking. Axl immediately picks Joseph. I silently get sad because I wanted Joseph so instead I pick my other favorite. Dio Brando. That's my dude.
"You don't want these Joseph problems with yo Dio picking self." Axl says with a smile. I laugh and think up a witty response. It pops in my head.
"Pffft. DIO is that dude. He'll fight your daddy, Your grandaddy, your greatgrandaddy and I could keep going but for sanity's sake I'm stopping." I say with a fake seriousness. Axl laughs. The game starts the characters have their opening statements. The homo poses start. We both laugh simultaneously.
"Dude I'll never get over these Jojo poses..." Axl says.
"It's too fabulous." I say. Then it gets real. Buttons are pushed and combos are done. In the end the winner is Dio.
"That's right." I say smugly.
"Pfffft. Whateves." Axl says in an awkward vally girl voice. This triggers more laughter from me. We keep fighting vs mode until finally we both set down the controller simultaneously and look at each other. Then out of nowhere I speak.
"What time is it?" I ask suddenly. Axl takes his phone out of his pocket and checks. Then gets wide-eyed. He then holds up his phone for me to look. What I see 13 missed calls from Zero. I then get a paranoid feeling. I check mine. 7 missed calls from Zero. We both look at each other with distraught faces.
"We're gonna get murcked. Zero's going to gauge out our eyeballs." I say out it out loud.
"He can tear them out. Screw it." Axl said flopping on my couch. I look at him as if he's insane. Axl smiles back at me with a knowing smile. I blush just a tad bit. Random scenarios popping through my mind. After that we decided to finish off the day playing hooky. I put on fist of the north star. At some point I can't remember we somehow fell asleep on the couch.
I woke up in the middle of the night briefly slightly frantic that Axl's whole torso was laying on me. But after having a spazz attack I ended up going right back to sleep. The next morning wasn't as awkward as I expected it to be. Axl moved first. I was still sleep when he had woken and up and I felt someone shaking me so I woke up to see Axl. I didn't jump or anything comical like that.
"Dude. We're gonna be late for work." Axl said with a sheepish girn. I shot up from my sleep. Axl's hair was all everywhere
"Waaaaaah okay." I said as I got up off the couch and went to my room to hurry up and get ready.
"I'm gonna go home and get dressed and all that stuff. See you at work Rock." Axl said as I heard him exit my house. It was then that I had a recap of everything that happened yesterday as I got dressed.
Yep. It was official I had a guy crush on Axl.
To be continued.
Ah bro. I was editing this and I started creeping on Ace Attorney 5. Then I remembered I forgot to post this. So yeah. Take this chapter. Sorry for the wait. I was being a bum.
I'm so sorry for all the Jojo up in here. It's been on the brain lately.
I'll post again soon. I NEED SLEEP.
Peace