I really really need...some energy. Just some kind of energy. I've been burnt out for like a whole week. It's been nothing but all nighters. Why does everyone want to get insurance during income tax time anyways? Oh yeah...that's right. Here come the sighs. I've been filling out forms like it's nobodies business. The whole office has. We've kept the office open all night so we can get it all done. Yes it's that serious. I can't tell you how many people I met and talked to on the phone about insurance policies and payments. I felt like flow from progressive. It's like I live breath and sleep the insurance policy. It was so busy in here it's actually been normal in the office.
Yes even Wednesday. It's been really frantic. I'm pretty sure I only got 10 hours of sleep this whole week and it's Friday. I need a potion. Or something.
So here I am in the office at 5:36 am with the whole office. exhaustion towers over the room. Zero's out on a Tim Hortons run so everyone eagerly awaits his return. Donuts...ah Muffins...Pumkin spice frappes...oh god. Still if only those things prevented sleep. My eyes felt really heavy. I wondered if I was even writing the right information down. I probably wasn't. Someone was going to come in and complain later. I look over and see what everyone else is doing.
Axl is planking on his desk. I'm pretty sure he's sleep. Sigma is typing furiously. That's one scary sight. Roll is squinting really loud with loud pop music in her headphones seeping out. X is writing viciously on a piece of paper. Kalinka...where...was kalinka? She was passed out on the floor. Should I wake her up...ah I'll let that be someone elses' problem. I lost interest in the room then and got back to my document. I really really...need sleep. Like now.
Good thing tomorrow was friday right? WRONG. My dad has been pressing me to meet Axl. Let me take it back a bit so that this makes sense. So Axl and I we've been together for some months now. It's going cool. Almost perfect. No road bumps no nothing. I told my dad about it one time I was visiting. Then he insisted on meeting Axl. Now this isn't really much of an issue. But you see...My dad is a really orthodox dude. Really old-fashioned. I mean sure he doesn't mind that I'm with a man. But Axl he's so...what's the word for this? I don't even have one. Axl's so... ya know what? Lets just call him extra. I feel like he's too "Extra" for my dad. Which doesn't really make sense but...hey. That's all I got. My Dad would probably just look at Axl with a look of disapproval when one of those random jokes he always has up his sleeve surfaces. I'm dreading it. Although it can't be as awkward as that time I met Axl's mom by accident.
It was a saturday morning about 2 weeks ago. We were sprawled on Axl's couch with snacks, candy and a lot of pop everywhere. Like a giant glob candy snack monster just blew chunks all over the room. I was in my boxers and a T-shirt and Axl was in pajamas. We'd been playing Tekken Tag Tournament 2 for the whole night. Morning was opon us and we were literally half alive. We were in an online tag match when suddenly we hear the front door open from the room we're in. I slightly panick. I whisper.
"Axl...did you hear that?" I said suddenly.
"No. What did you hear?" Axl said looking over really quick between button combos.
"Well you see...the front door sounded like it opened and...so yeah." I said trying to get to the point.
"Oh. Wait what?" Axl said. That was when she entered the room. My eyes got big. My first thought was...why the hell is this old lady in here. She looked upset. Like she was going to start ranting at any moment. At that point I was so utterly confused it made no kind of sense. The old lady spoke.
"AXL. is this what you do all day? Sit on your ass playing these silly computer games?" She said with a look of disapproval. Axl sighed.
"Hi mom~!" Axl said with fake enthusiasm. It all made sense now. This was Axl's mother...so far...she was quite the character.
"Don't "Hi mom~!" me boy. When was the last time you cleaned this place?" She asked scrunching her face at the mess in the room.
"2 weeks ago." Axl still answered with the false excitement. I watched motionless as the scene played out.
"And when are you going to find another girlfriend!? What happened that Palette girl?" Axl's mom asked as she fiddled around with some stuff. I watched her closely for some reason. Feeling that one false move could be fatal. It was a wierd feeling. Not really awkward. It was like she didn't even notice I was alive.
"Palette was clingy and annoying. But hey Mom...have you met Rock?" Axl said grabbing me where I was under the cover and placing me in from of his mom. She squinted and looked at me strangely. I smiled and waved. Play it cool Rock.
"That's a person? I thought that was a motionless doll. Son she's beautiful." Axl's mom said gasping. Axl laughed in the background. I fought back the urge to facepalm. But still I just smiled. Trying not to leave a bad impression.
"Pffft. Mom. Rock is a dude. Can't you tell? Swear to god mom you're going blind." Axl said with laughter.
"Are you kidding?!" She yelped. Then she moved her hands to my chest and felt it. I went stiff. She was touching me. This is awkward. I guess I'm just going to stand here and take this. When her hand was gone I felt relief. I sighed.
"Yep definitely flat. I guess handing around those homos finally got to you. Guess that's no grandkids for me..." She said in a dark tone.
"Aww come on Mom. I'm gonna tell X and Zero you said that. And hey Rock might be able to get pregnant...right?" Axl said looking to me. I shook my head no quickly.
"Shoooot what you thought this was?" I say back to axl.
"Whatever gets me grandkids. Hopefully they look better than you." She said at Axl. He snickered.
"Well I got my genes from you so...maybe that explains it?" Axl said with a smug look. Axl's mom scowled.
"Now listen here boy you ain't too old to get beat by your mom in front your friend here." Axl's mom said.
"You can get it. Old hag." Axl said still with an amused look.
"Child please. Anyways...Rock was it? How old are you? Underaged I bet." She muttered the last part.
"I'm 23 Ma'am." I responded cooly. She wasn't going to break my will. Nope. I was gonna leave a great impression and she couldn't do anything about it but like me.
"Oh you're legal. How long have you known my son?" She asked
"A few months short of a year." I responded.
"That's nice. Now tell me straight. Why're you wasting time on this bum?" Axl's mom said.
"Well it's because Axl is amazing and there's never a boring moment with him." I said without thinking too hard.
"D'awww that's so cute." Axl said pulling me into a hug. Axl's mom smiled faintly.
"One more question. Do you know how he got that scar on his face?" Axl's mom said. I shook my head no.
"I thought it was some sort of birthmark or something." I said.
"Well nevermind. Son I've gotta go." She said looking towards Axl. He nodded.
"I only stopped in to make sure you weren't dead that's all." She said. She started heading towards the door. As we heard her leave there was silence. I was the first one to speak.
"So your mom." I said suddenly.
"Ha yes. Great isn't she?" Axl said scratching the back of his head.
"Think she liked me?" I ask slightly unsure.
"Oh yeah I'm pretty sure she did. When she first met Zero she outright punched him." Axl said leaning back on the couch. I try to picture the old lady punching Zero and it brings a small smirk to my face.
"Wow. That's erm." I said as my voice trailed off.
"Yeah she's about that life. Any who I bet you're wondering in that head of yours where I got this scar huh?" Axl said looking right at me. He was right I was wandering as soon as it got brought up. I always thought that it was just some cool birthmark. Was there like some mystical past or something behind it? Or was like...oh shit. That's when my mind began to run with all the possible scenarios that could've happened to get that mark.
"Just take a random guess." Axl said with a smirk. Suddenly something ridiculous popped in my mind.
"Did you rub X the wrong way on a Wednesday? That would explain the X mark?" I asked suddenly not even joking.
"I don't think we'd be cool anymore if that happened. No that's not how I got it. Silly goose." Axl said.
"Tell the story?" I ask.
"So it's origin story time again?" Axl asked
"Yes." I respond.
"Alright. Once upon a time there was a freshman. This freshman thought it would be a good idea to join a gang. He did. And don't get me wrong he was kicking ass. For a good 3 months. Then suddenly said freshman gets kidnapped out of revenge and gets the shit beat out of him in a dark ally. He was later found by his friends and he got help. All the scars healed except for one. Yes. That freshman was me. The X scar mark remains. The last thing I can remember from that encounter is "X marks the spot." Then I passed out. After that I stayed my ass off the streets and yeah. True story." Axl said.
I sat here and processed what he'd just told me. Honestly I couldn't picture that at all. Seriously? Axl being a thug? PFFFFT. I wanted to laugh at the thought but I felt like the story was a serious one so I couldn't do that. When I think about it though the mark just makes him cooler. Plus that's a good origin story to pull out if you ever want to course some random person into falling for you. Ya know those one stories with the "Oh gurl I been through it." and then the clueless chick is like "Bae I know I LURVE YOU BOO" Then the sex happened. Then theres' a baby. Then the dude leaves. Then the woman kills her self...and god what the hell am I saying? Axl's voice snaps me out of my random train of though.
"You're silent. Either you're debating on whither it was a true story or that this is like one of those movies that the random dude has a dark past and his girl is like "BABY I LURVE YOU." Axl said eyeing me. My face gets red. I've been seen through.
"The 2nd one. Anyways...I think the scar makes you cooler." I said with one of those smiles that are there for no reason.
"It is pretty badass isn't it?" Axl said touching his face where the mark was.
"Well yeah." I said with a look of approval. After that we went right back to doing exactly what we were doing before. That's exactly how it happened.
I was still tired as hell trying to get these papers done. I think at this point my eyes are going to start bleeding. The last thing I should be worrying about is Axl meeting my Dad. It's probably not even going to an issue. What am I even worrying about? It'll probably just be overwhelmingly awkward. On a lighter note I can almost leave this place and get some sleep. Soon. Very soon. Yes. Pretty soon my thoughts just went to the random clients and filling out there stuff. It was going all nice and smooth. It was about 9 am at this point. One of the clients I had made an appointment at that time. They showed up like 9:01. These people were on point. It consisted of an older couple and their 9-year-old kid. As soon as they sat down the wife started talking.
"Now we want to be insured in all areas. House, car moble home...blah blah blah blah blah..." Is what I heard after the first sentence. If she wanted all that why didn't she just go to fucking progressive. God woman...god. I wanted to pull a Rigby and go STOP TALKING. But of course I didn't. Finally she stopped talking.
"Ma'am we can cover all that. Let me get your paper work." I said reaching on to my desk. Then she started talking again.
"Good because my friend shawnnie told me that you guys are blah blah blah blah blah blah." I felt an intense headache coming along but still I ignored her and got the paper. When I turned and faced the family again the kid was playing with stuff inside my drawer and the husband and the wife were completely ignoring the kid and talking about some pasta stuff. Yeah I don't know. I walked towards the kid and bent down next to him.
"Hey little guy. That's my turf. You gotta sit next to your mom and dad." I said with a nice voice. The kid frowned at me. Then after two seconds he kicked me in my manhood. That shit hurt. Bad. That kid had strength. I hit the floor.
"Owwwwwww." I cried out from the floor. Just then the kid started stomping me out with his little foot. What the hell man? I didn't deserve this shit. Only one thing to do.
"HELP. AXL , ZERO. SOMEONE. JESUS. SPIDERMAN. COME ON SPIDERMAN." I cried out. The couple was still distracted. I looked up and Axl had his headphones on blast. Zero was out of the room. Where the hell was everyone else. I'm down here getting stomped out by a kid. My nuts feel like they're going to fall off and I'm tired as he hell. This was some shit. I'm not one to say this normally but this kid needs a whoopen. A really good one. Like destiny level.
Finally the kid walked away.I sat on the floor sad as he went as sat down next to his parents. I'm going to need some icecream after this. I sat there for like one minute and Axl walked over.
"Hey Rock can I...oh god what happened to you?" He said when he saw the awkward state I was in.
"I just got my ass beat by a 9-year-old." I said unamused.
"Wow...I'm sorry that happened?" Axl said.
"Can you take over for me?" I ask from the floor. Axl helped me up.
"Yeah. I wasn't doing anything anyways." Axl said shrugging and sitting down at me desk. I waddled over to a couch on the far side of the room. I spaced out a bit suddenly I hear from the other side of the room.
"NOW LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. YOU ARE GOING TO SIT THE FUCK DOWN AND BEHAVE BEFORE I GET MY BACKHAND." Axl yelled.
"HE JUST CUSSED AT LITTLE JOHNNY. I WILL GET MY LAWYER" I heard the wife say. The husband was silent like usual.
"Oh god...I muttered to myself. It was then that Zero walked into the office.
"What's going on?" Zero said with a cheerful face.
"It got real." I answered. Zero looked at the room.
"Oh god...let me handle this." Zero said with a sigh.
Zero walked over like an angry Wesker who's plans have been foiled. The woman turned around and so did her husband.
"Are you aware that one of your employee's just used a curse word at my son."
"Are you aware that your son just assaulted an employee of mine?" Zero said pointing to me. The woman's face went blank.
"So to avoid problems you won't speak a word of this will you?" Zero said with a sinister face.
"N-No I won't little johnny is still so young and I..."
"That's what I thought." Zero said as he walked away. The rest continued on as regular. I now understood why Sigma had Zero second command now. I understood before it's just I never witnessed it for myself. Zero would've made a great person in a mafia. Or a teacher. Or a president. Or a dictator. Probably a dictator.
After that work got back to normal. My balls recovered and I could finally go home. I ended up sleeping the rest of the day. I woke up tomorrow knowing that Axl would be meeting my dad. I had an odd feeling about it.
When I woke up I looked at the clock it was about 1:20 something pm and I knew I had over slept. But I needed it that sleep. The week was god awful. But now as soon as I get this over with I'm freeeeee...until sunday. God. Being an adult is hard. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the simpler days of my youth when I used to just sit there and play with Thomas the train and an abused captain america action figure.
Sigh. I get dressed and all that good stuff as I stubbornly get out the bed. After putting on my clothes I call Axl. He picks up half asleep. There's this certain extra rasp there. I always notice it when he's either just woken up or extremely sleepy. He spoke.
"Today's the day isn't it?" He said drowsily.
"Yep." I answered in short.
"So be honest. Do you think he'll like me?" Axl asked.
"It could go either way." I said. In truth I had no idea this one was gonna go. I had a few guesses but I didn't want to scare Axl with them. They were all pretty negative but it's hard to think positive sometimes ya know? We talk all the way to me picking up Axl from his house. He got in the car. He was looking extra sharp. He had his game face on. Axl was prepared. I looked the transformation over and I spoke.
"Look at you all snazzed up." I said as I started the car and drove away.
"Gotta leave a good impression. See I've thought about it and the way you describe your dad makes it seems like your that daughter he'll get his shot gun out for. I don't want to be that unfortunate boyfriend who gets shot. Fuck that. I'm gonna be prepared. I'll be regular. For one day. I feel like I'd be too odd if I tried to make jokes with the old dude. I sat up at 5:00 am a week ago and thought about this." Axl said.
"Wow." I said not really expecting that response. Was Axl secretly some sort of strategist or something? Does it only come out randomly?
"Speechless I see." Axl said with a smirk.
"Well it's just out of character for you to be so prepared for something like this." I said. I could feel my face heat up a bit.
"So your over here blushing all cute because you think I went out of my for you right?" Axl said still keeping that smirk. Ah once again he's hit the nail on the head.
"Well...yeah..." I said as I turned a corner cutting some person off at the light. I got beeped at but still kept going.
"Actually I did it for myself. I don't want to die. Just saying." Axl said shrugging.
"Your horrible." I said feeling slightly unamused and a little disappointed.
"Cupcake sugar lollipop gumdrop. You know I'm kidding." Axl said in a random britsh accent.
"Really Cherry gumbears sweet caramel turtle?" I said with a fake hurt tone.
"Yes Chocolate taffy chew." Axl answered.
"Racist." I said with a small smile. Axl laughed breaking the fake seriousness of the conversation.
"Pfffffffft. You just hating on my weave gurl." Axl said flipping his hair.
"Gurl I could never. My shit natural." I said flipping my hair return.
"Please...I seent you walking up out of that beauty supply store." Axl said making duckface. At that point I was laughing as I drove.
"I just want to know how this went from you being prepared to me walking up out of the beauty supply store." I said.
"Well you know when a teenager goes through changes they..." I cut Axl off before he could finish.
"Oh god." I said.
"Just saying." Axl said.
By then we were there right in front of my house. It was a Blue house that's not really huge but not really small either. There were little flowers in the front and the grass cut just like I remembered it. Nothing changed. Nothing ever changes. I saw my dad's car and parked by it. Axl and I looked at either for an odd second. I felt like I was about to say something then the next thing I knew we were kissing. When we parted I remembered what I was going to say.
"Don't fuck up." I said with a small smile.
"Do I ever?" Axl said.
"Yes." I replied simply with small laughter.
"Shoooot well...can't win em all." Axl shrugged.
"Right. Right." I said getting out the car and locking it. We walked up to my doorbell and rang it. My dad answered the door abnormally quick. As if he was waiting for this all day. I see you dad. When he opened the door he smiled.
"Hello nice of you to drop by."
"Dad stop using clichés." I said as I walked in. The house was exactly the same as normal. Same flowery smell. Same paint. Same couch. Same order on the desk.
"So I can assume that this is the infamous Axl?" My dad said as he looked Axl over.
"Yep. It's nice to meet ya sir." Axl said putting his hand out. My dad took it. I could feel myself about to hyperventilate on the sidelines. Calm that down Rock. It's not that serious. It'll work out. Stop worrying.
"My name is Thomas Light. But you can call me Dr. Light." My dad said.
"Alright." Axl said. Then there was awkward silence. I tried to think of something to say but there was nothing. Suddenly my dad spoke.
"So how long have you known Rock?" He asked.
"Oh well almost a year I guess." Axl said.
"That's nice...so...you know what. I'm going to ask a question I've wondered for a while now."
"Go for it sir." Axl said shrugging.
"I changed my mind there's two questions I want to ask you." Dad said.
"I have answers." Axl said. I sat on the couch watching this go down.
"Alright I don't mean to be awkward but you don't seem like an obviously gay guy. Why is that?" My dad asked in a serious tone. Axl laughed. I face palmed. I now felt uncomfortable. Axl shook his head.
"Well actually...it's because Rock is the first guy I've ever dated. I wasn't bisexual before this." Axl said scratching the back of his head.
"Really? That's interesting. Next question. Who's the female in this?" My dad asked as if it was nothing. I'm mentally freaking out on the couch at this point. I feel like my insides were doing martial arts. Axl takes no hesitation in answering.
"Oh it's Rock. I mean look how cute he is for no reason?" Axl said pointing to me. My dad smirked at me.
"Yeah he was always like that. Want to see some childhood pictures?" My dad said. God strike me down now. They ended up getting out the kid pictures swooning over them together. Axl and my dad ended up making jokes together and my dad actually laughed at them. I sat there happy and amazed that this happened. At the same time I felt that they would troll me to no end. It felt pretty out of character for my dad to be so humored. Maybe Axl just brought that out into people.
Their conversation turned into one about music and random stuff that they didn't like to see in public. Axl and my dad both seemed like they were having a good time. I wasn't quiet during the night or anything like that. I chimed in and eventually everything started going smooth. It was about the end of our visit when my dad randomly said:
"You know Rock. I'm really glad you're dating finally. I thought you were going to end up like those old people who have a bunch of pets. And never see the light of day."
"That's cold." I said.
"Yeah..." Axl responded.
"It's been fun but I'm not as young as I used to be and I need my sleep. You crazy kids get out of here so I can get to bed." Dad said as he waved us out. After exchanging random goodbyes we walked out. Axl turned to me a smile.
"That's wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be. I like your dad."
"Yeah he's cool. I didn't really have many friends when I was younger so I would just hang around with my dad all the time." I said having small flashbacks.
"Aww that's so nice. My mom doesn't give me the time of day with stuff like that. She always had some new man. It was silly." Axl said. We got to my car and we got in. When I turned on the car 99 balloons came on. One look at each other and we started singing along to the music.
All was right with the world.
To be continued.
LAST CHAPTER NEXT TIME YEAAAAAAAAH. Oh man. It took a minute to update. It's been some shit the past week or so. Some shit I tell you. Anyways...I'M ALIVE. and Okami I MISSED YOU BRO. T^T Your review was lovely. I wasn't on PSN for a while cause I moved my Ps3 in a room with no connection but it's back now. :3
Alright. So next chapter is the ending. Peace out.