A/N: Hey people, I am back.
Motoko: We can see that, mister.
Su: I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY GIFT YET!
Chris: Don't worry, I intend on keeping that promise.
Su: THEN DO IT NOW!
Chris: Okay, bossy, just for that, I'm not going to tell you when it's coming.
Su: Aw.
Naru: Just put it in here, Mister Author.
Chris: Or I could make you chase each other around for no reason. Or, as some people put it, a typical day in Love Hina.
Shinobu: What's that?
Chris: Oh, it's a chronicle of all your adventures.
Everyone: A chronicle of all our adventures?
Chris: Yeah. I take you guys from any point in the story and start my story from there. Oh, by the way, do any of you want to see your future?
Haruka: Sure.
-Two hours later-
Haruka: Who would have guessed?
Naru: I did not see that coming.
Keitaro: Oh yeah, I remember that.
Su: Hey, that's me!
Shinobu: Wow.
Chris: Yep. Lots of crazy stuff happened to you guys.
Motoko: I can see that.
Sarah: Where did you get this?
Chris: Well, I didn't have to buy it, as it came out before I was born. All I did was find a website with this. You guys were created by a famous writer in Japan.
Mutsumi: We were?
Chris: Yeah. And these aren't your only adventures. There are even some other media pieces of you. Books, anime, they even made a live show.
Akamatsu: Yeah, my brother really made you quite popular.
Chris: Yep. Anyway, let's start the story before someone other than me gets hurt. By the way, I own no part of this story. Plus, this is a disclaimer, so don't sue me. I don't have the money to pay off a lawsuit and neither do my parents. Any questions of ownership are answered by the name Ken Akamatsu.
|/\/\|
After breakfast, Hinata Sou
"You won't hurt us?" Naru asked.
The tall one in the middle shook his head. "Of course not. These weapons aren't even real. They just let us leave the base without being caught without weapons. It's a Yakuza rule," he said. He put his hands behind his back and all of a sudden flinched at a loud noise. Everyone else flinched, too. Once the commotion had cleared, there was a bullet hole in the ground right next to his foot. He took out a gun from his pocket, which also had a bullet hole in it. "Whoops. I think someone swapped my fake gun for a real one," he said, tossing the gun into the trash can.
"Ah, Ichigo-sama, Yuu-san, Ryouichi-san, Esteban-san, how are you four?" Tsuruko asked.
"'Esteban-san'? Are you from another country?" Kitsune asked.
"Yeah, the Caribbean. Of course, here, there aren't many tropical areas, as far as I know, but there are fishing spots. Plus, no parents nagging me to 'grow up' and 'get a haircut, hippy!'!" the big one on the right said, using air quotes around the words 'grow up' and 'get a haircut, hippy!'.
"H-How old are you guys?" Shinobu asked.
"Forty," Ichigo, the one in the middle, responded.
"Thirty-eight," Yuu, the guy on his right, said.
"Thirty-nine," Ryouichi, the guy on his left, responded.
"Ten," Esteban, the tall man in the back, said.
"Ten?" asked almost everyone in the room in surprise.
"Ten," Esteban repeated.
"How is that even possible? What year were you born?" Motoko asked.
"1956," Esteban responded.
"So you're forty-three?" Su asked.
"Nope," Esteban said.
"He was born on February 29, which only occurs once every four years. He's ten," Tsuruko explained.
"Wow. What a weird coincidence!" Sarah noted.
"Yeah," Esteban said.
"So…what's up, Tsuruko-sama? We haven't seen you since the family reunion!" Ryouichi said.
"What family reunion?" Motoko asked.
"Well, you weren't there for the news, Motoko-sama. You were here at Hinata-Sou," Tsuruko replied.
"Oh, I see," Motoko replied.
"And how is my relative doing?" Ichigo asked, turning to Motoko.
"Just how am I related to you?" Motoko asked, a mixture of vehemence and curiosity.
"I'm your brother-in-law," Ichigo said.
"I'm just a friend of your dad's," Yuu said.
"I'm a friend of your mom's," Ryouichi responded.
"And I'm your adopted brother," Esteban said.
"Oh, right. Sorry about forgetting, Esteban-sama," Tsuruko said.
"Don't worry about it. I forget a lot, too. Now, where were my keys? Oh, right, I left them in the car," Esteban said, trying to find his keys.
"Anyway, these gentleman are completely different from what you expected, right?" Tsuruko asked the girls.
"Yeah. I thought all Yakuza were the violent type," Kitsune replied.
"Believe me, we are pretty good at acting like it," Ichigo said. "All the other Yakuza are not only ballistic, conniving, thieving killers, but they are real big jerks, too."
"Wow. Just when I thought men couldn't get any lower than Keitaro's friends…you tell me that information," Motoko complained.
"So, guys, did you get the message from Keitaro-san?" Tsuruko asked.
"Yep. He even told us this morning that a couple of them already learned something, so we can just be friends," Yuu replied.
"Wait, you guys know Kei-kun?" Kitsune asked.
"Know him? We are practically best friends. The only difference is that we don't visit him often because we are pretty much forced to do someone's dirty work," Ryouichi answered.
"We know what it must have been like to be around a guy who does so many clumsy things yet exudes such an aura of calmness as him. He practically got me fired out of the Yakuza via severance package," Esteban said.
"Wouldn't that be a good thing?" Naru asked.
"Well, not really. You see, getting fired from the Yakuza would be good, but getting fired out of a cannon into a lion's den is not good. That's the severance package," Esteban replied.
"Oh. I see," Naru said with a pained look on her face, probably from the image of what he just described.
"Well, enough about us. How are you doing?" Ryouichi asked the girls with a warm smile.
"Oh…I'm fine, thanks for asking," Sarah replied. Everyone else's replies were about the same.
"Well, I forgot why else we were here, so…should we get going?" Esteban asked. Everyone agreed.
"Well, it was nice to meet all of you, but we should be on our way. After all, we don't want that severance package," Ryouichi said, walking toward the door with his friends.
"Okay. Bye, guys," Tsuruko waved.
"Bye, Tsuruko-san," all four of them said at the same time, walking out the door.
Once they were gone, Tsuruko turned to the girls. "Well, that was nice, meeting my old friends, wasn't it?" Tsuruko asked. It didn't seem like they paid any attention, though. They still seemed to be processing what just happened.
Meanwhile, the romance suite
"Wow, Shinobu-chan, you are a natural at this! It took me a week to learn how to ki cook. You learned after one explanation," Keitaro complemented her.
"Th-thank you, Sempai. You're just a good teacher," Shinobu said.
"Thanks, Shinobu-chan," Keitaro replied back.
"Watermelon, anyone?" Mutsumi asked. There was a plant hanging from her hand and there was a watermelon growing rapidly on the end of the plant.
"Sure, Mutsumi-chan," Keitaro replied. "You seem to have gotten the hang of what I taught you very fast, too," he added.
"Yeah, I guess I have. Thanks for the compliment, Kei-kun," Mutsumi agreed.
"So, do you girls want to take a break or do you want to learn how to make a ki shield? It's my specialty," Keitaro asked.
"Ooh, a ki shield? Sounds interesting," Mutsumi said.
"Can we learn about that now, Sempai?" Shinobu asked.
"Of course. All you have to do is imagine a field of ki around you to protect yourself from any threat. You have to want to protect yourself or else it will not work," Keitaro explained.
"Okay, got it," Mutsumi and Shinobu said, signaling the other two occupants of the room to give her some space.
"Now, let's see if you can block a flying magazine. After all, a breakable shield cannot defend someone, right?" Keitaro said, lifting up two magazines with his ki. He launched them at the girls at the same speed as throwing them.
The magazines landed on something invisible less than a foot in front of them. They opened their eyes and saw this.
"Wow. I did it!" Mutsumi said.
"Awesome!" Shinobu asked.
"Good. Now try to imagine that your skin is the ki shield. This is a better choice if an attacker is aiming for you directly and not someone else. I'm going to poke you on the arm to test if it works," Keitaro commanded.
"Okay, ready, Sempai/Kei-kun," both girls said at the same time, using their usual way to address him. Keitaro poked them.
"Did you feel me poking you?" Keitaro asked.
"No, I didn't, Kei-kun," Mutsumi responded.
"No, Sempai," Shinobu responded.
"Okay, now can you feel this?" Keitaro said, focusing some ki into his next poke.
"Ow. I felt that," Mutsumi replied, still calmly.
"I actually felt it that time, Sempai," Shinobu replied.
"That's because I used some ki in that poke. You actually need two layers of ki shield to protect yourself from a ki attack. It's good that you can use the shield, though. Not many people can pull it off right away. It's quite the opposite, usually," Keitaro complimented them.
"Wow, we really do have a great teacher!" Mutsumi cheered.
"Aw, thanks Mutsumi-chan. I guess I have great students," he complimented back.
"Awww…Sempai!" Shinobu said affectionately, running to hug him.
"Ooh, a hug!" Mutsumi said as she joined the hug. Mutsumi and Shinobu looked extremely comfortable in that hug.
"Hey, Sempai…how do you do that?" Shinobu asked.
"Do what, Shinobu-chan?" Keitaro asked.
"I think she means 'How do you make these really comfortable hugs?'" Mutsumi said.
"Yeah, that is what I meant," Shinobu replied.
"Well, it's another thing with ki. You can convey emotions through body contact, such as shaking someone's hand or hugging someone. Is it something you want to learn?" Keitaro asked.
"Yeah, of course we do! Hey, stop copying me!" both ladies answered simultaneously, finally realizing just how frequently they emulated each other's responses in the past day.
"Okay. Well, this is actually a bit tricky, so it may take multiple tries to get it, even for you two," Keitaro warned.
"I want to learn it!" Shinobu replied.
"Yes, please, Kei-kun," Mutsumi said, more calmly.
"Okay, well, there's nothing to it after practicing, really. All you have to do is think of affectionate emotions, like love, friendship, devotion, loyalty, and the like. Then, you must use your ki to spread these emotions to those around you. They have to touch those around you willingly, not forced upon them. Otherwise, you could shred off some of their ki and ruin their life. The thing to remember is that you can never do something to someone's emotions against their will without ruining their will to live. But, you, being the naturals you are, should ace this, no problem. Just remember not to force it. Remember, I won't do anything except join in the hug," Keitaro explained. He hugged Shinobu and Mutsumi back as they hugged him to try what he taught them.
"Wow, you girls are doing really well. You are both using your ki at the same time, right?" Keitaro asked.
"Yep. Okay, please stop doing that!" Shinobu and Mutsumi said, turning to each other once again after they copied each other again.
"I guess a hug with three people using ki would really feel comfortable," Keitaro said, visibly focusing to use his ki.
"Ooh…you were right, Kei-kun. It is more comfortable," Mutsumi said happily.
"Yeah, it really is, isn't it?" Shinobu asked rhetorically.
"Yes, it is. There is something I didn't mention, though. If more than one person uses ki like this, the positive emotions amplify each other much the same way that they amplify ki, only not as much. It really helps with comforting people and, if focused on personal injuries, can heal them. Pretty cool, huh?" Keitaro explained. "You know, I always forget to explain some things before they happen, huh? I should really get a look at that sometime," he added, soliciting a giggle from the girls as Tama landed on Mutsumi's head, smiling.
|| |One week later, Hinata-Sou| ||
Naru walked down the hall slowly and sneakily. 'Tsuruko-san keeps trying to smack me whenever she can for no reason at all. I can't believe she's doing this. Well, at least her husband kept stopping her from killing me. Why is she doing this? What did I do wrong? I suppose I hit Keitaro-san for no reason sometimes, but does that give her a reason to do this?' she thought.
Another voice in her head that she was trying to suppress was now shouting very loudly, 'Oh, come on, you know you have some feelings for him!' It was still a part she tried to ignore every day. But just before she could silence the voice, she got really freaked out at the sound of running in the hall connecting to her current one.
"Ah, there you are, Naru-san. You aren't done facing my wrath yet. Get over here!" Tsuruko said demonically, drawing her sword.
"Oh, s***!" Naru said, breaking into a dead run, despite knowing how useless it was after the week. 'Why did I have to make her angrier at me after the day he left?!' she asked herself, rhetorically and angry with herself, yet fearing for her life. 'Why did I try to hit her the other night?'
Flashback, 3rd person: Naru
Naru was walking to the manager's room. She wanted to give Tsuruko a piece of her mind for inviting those men to Hinata-Sou for a visit. She was so filled with venom that she could not see how obviously outmatched she was if a fight were to occur or that there was no reason to try and start one in the first place. Now, though, she was too into her internal ranting to think logically (or of anything else, for that matter). She stormed down the hall to the manager's room the old-fashioned way. 'Can't use the hole in the floor, or else she would get the jump on me,' she thought. Apparently, she couldn't strategize logically, either.
She went down the hallway and stormed up to the door. She knocked on the door vehemently.
"Tsuruko-san! I have a question for you!" Naru yelled. She was beyond mad. She was livid.
"Come in, Naru-san," Tsuruko replied calmly. Naru did just that. "What is your question?" Tsuruko asked.
"Why did you have those guys visit today?! Why?!" Naru asked.
"Well, they were just visiting me today. I was hoping you would become friends with them, but it doesn't appear like you wanted to be friends with them. What did you think of them?" Tsuruko asked, voice still calm but a hint of resentment was present.
"I hate them!" Naru shouted.
"Why? They did nothing wrong," Tsuruko asked.
"Well…they…they…they…" Naru asked, faltering with each word.
"They what?" Tsuruko asked innocently.
"They...they are guys!" Naru finally spat out.
"That is the weakest argument I ever heard," Tsuruko said. Instead of a reply, Naru lunged at Tsuruko, reeling back her arm to punch her.
That is not what happened.
What actually happened was Naru's punch being blocked the same way Keitaro blocked her punch the night he announced he was temporarily leaving Hinata-Sou. Naru recoiled in pain, clutching her aching fist.
"Sorry, Naru-san. You can't try that on me," Tsuruko teased.
"How did you do that?" Naru asked.
"That is a secret you will never know, Naru-san. You never ask questions, anyway. I resent you already, you know. Don't poke the bear. It never ends well," Tsuruko said.
"Says the girl who keeps making me even madder by doing something stupid every day! First, you try to lie to my face by calling what Keitaro-san kept doing 'accidents', then you invite those Yakuza over for a visit today! You keep this up and I'm gonna-" Naru ranted until she got smacked with a bokken. It seemed to appear out of nowhere.
"What did I tell you? Poking the bear never ends well. Be lucky that I'm letting you keep your life because my second-best friend commanded me to. I would do much more torture if he had let me, as payback for your abuse, but you keep pushing my patience. Be careful, or I might just lose control of my hand, Naru-san," Tsuruko warned.
"You're bluffing! And you called him your second-best friend. You aren't nearly as loyal to him as we are! Besides, I only hit him as reprimand for his transgressions!" Naru yelled.
"Oh, on the contrary, Narusegawa-san. The only person closer to me than him is my husband, and I haven't seen him nearly as often as you girls. And I would call a shove away from yourself reprimand. What you do is overreaction-induced abuse. He lands in faraway places every day, yet he still protects all of you, even at his expense. Also, I'm not bluffing," she said, taking out her sword, poised to strike.
"Uh...what are you doing?" Naru asked fearfully.
"SECRET TECHNIQUE: AIR CUTTING SWORD!" Tsuruko yelled. This blew Naru through the wall outside the door and into the open night air.
From that point on, Tsuruko did this every day, even going as far as today as to hunt the whole house for her. She never did much other than whack her in the gut with a bokken (A/N: that's a wooden sword), but Naru was too scared of Tsuruko to think logically.
Suddenly, though, she found herself unable to move, as if she was paralyzed. She tried to move with everything she had, but it never worked. She looked down and said, "Wha...?!" with wide eyes.
"It's hard to run from someone who can control people's body parts without touching them," Tsuruko teased.
"Wha...? How?!" Naru yelled rhetorically.
"Long story. Now, come on, time to get smacked," Tsuruko said, as it was routine.
"NO!" Naru yelled melodramatically.
"Oh, come on, it's only a carved piece of wood hitting you in the gut," Tsuruko admonished.
"OW!" Naru said, falling on her knees, clutching her gut.
"Oh, come on! You're being melodramatic again! Geez, Narusegawa-san! Pull yourself together! It shouldn't even hurt anymore! Have you gone brain-dead or something?!" Tsuruko admonished.
As Naru was walking away, Kitsune came walking into the hallway, talking to Motoko. The Hinata-Sou changed a crazy amount with the new manager being Tsuruko. Tsuruko told them to socialize with each other more. Right now, Motoko was talking about something that happened long ago. Kitsune started laughing at something she said.
"Wow, so she trapped you on the clothesline?" she said, still laughing.
"Yeah. She snuck up on me and put the clothesline through my clothes so that it trapped me. Then she held up a turtle next to my face and let it bite me. Now, I hate turtles," Motoko finished.
"Wow! Some story! Whoa, Naru-san? What happened?" Kitsune said, the two running over to their friend.
"What happened, Naru-san?" Motoko asked, concerned.
"I've been abused," Naru said hauntingly.
"Again? That's the seventh time this week! Is she trying to hurt us?" Kitsune asked indignantly.
"We cannot stand to tolerate this abuse," Motoko pointed out indignantly.
"Where is she? I'm gonna give her a piece of my mind!" Kitsune yelled. She started running in a random direction.
"What is she doing?" Motoko asked, looking at the direction Kitsune ran.
"Oh, when something makes her mad, she gets ragey and can't think logically," Naru explained.
"That's what happens every time someone gets excessively mad," Motoko said.
"What do you mean?" Naru asked curiously.
"Well, when someone gets too mad, their emotions take control of their actions, which gets to be unpredictable most of the time," Motoko explained.
"Yeah, I guess. I remember when you used to chase Keitaro-san around when you got mad. You totally lost that cool image of yours!" Naru said, starting to laugh.
"Yes, but you used to do the same thing when you got mad!" Motoko replied in mock indignity, also laughing.
"Uh...I did?" Naru asked, sounding confused.
"Yes. We both chased him around a lot, didn't we?" Motoko asked, now starting to tear up a little.
"Yeah, I guess so," Naru asked, now starting to tear up as well. They sat there for a few moments, trying to fight back tears.
"Motoko-san?" Naru asked, sniffing.
"Yes, Naru-san?" Motoko asked, now sniffling as well.
"What have we done?" Naru asked, throwing her arms around Motoko crying.
"We have driven away the one man who made us feel important," Motoko said, starting to cry as well. They sat there in a hug, crying into each other's shoulders.
'Good. They finally learned their lesson,' Tsuruko thought in her room. She had been using her ki to watch them. She could feel the genuine sadness coming off of the both of them, and she didn't even have to use her empathy. She was telling Keitaro this lesson.
'After only a week? That's great! How about we give them a little test?' he responded to her.
'Great idea. What did you have in mind?' Tsuruko asked him with the telepathy.
'How do you feel about amusement parks?' Keitaro asked her.
|| |The romance suite| ||
While Keitaro was busy communicating with Tsuruko, Mutsumi and Shinobu were talking about Keitaro.
"So, Mutsumi-sempai, you like Sempai, right? I mean, really like him?" Shinobu asked.
"Yeah, I do. Don't you have a crush on him?" Mutsumi asked.
"Umm...yeah, I do. Was it obvious?" Shinobu asked shyly.
"Yeah, it was," Mutsumi said.
"Well, we'll see if he picks one of us," Shinobu responded.
"Yeah. He's a good guy. I wish he would pick one of us instead of just staying idle," Mutsumi said wistfully.
"I think we are the only ones to see that. I think Sempai is a wonderful guy," Shinobu replied.
"Well, I guess we have to make sure he can live to make his choice. After all, he's not indestructible," Mutsumi reasoned.
"Yeah," Shinobu agreed. "Good thing he taught us how to use our ki for defense. Plus, now we can use it for other things as well," she added, holding a raw potato that was cooking in her hand, thanks to her ki. She had a lot of practice because she cooked for them for a week.
"Yeah," Mutsumi said, taking a watermelon out of her hand and opening it with her ki. Again, she had lots of practice.
"Hey, girls, guess what?" Keitaro asked.
"Yeah, Kei-kun?" Mutsumi asked.
"How would you feel about paying the girls a visit?" Keitaro asked.
|\/\/|
And that's finally chapter five, everyone!
Naru: Whoa, whoa, whoa. What sort of visit is this?
Chris: You'll have to wait and find out.
Kitsune: Aw, come on, man! Can't you give us a straight answer for once?!
Chris: Not in front of the readers, or the surprise is spoiled.
Motoko: Can't you ever stop with the surprises?
Chris: No, or else nobody would read my writing.
Naru: Well, it's better than if you didn't stop writing.
Chris: You do realize I could make all of you do crazy things, right?
Kitsune: Oh, no.
(Chris snaps fingers, Naru, Kitsune, and Motoko all fall on their faces. They try to get up but keep slipping and falling down)
Motoko: (in between slipping and falling)What are you doing?
Chris: I am making you clumsy. Also, don't worry, you'll be fine. I heal you after the chapter ends, anyway.
Naru, Motoko, Kitsune: WELL, THEN END IT!
Chris: Okay. Bye readers!