Axl and I consume alot of sugar. There's no doubt about that. Some people say that what you do and what you eat all day determines your dreams. I didn't really believe that. I thought it was whatever your mind ran into while you were sleep. Well the day I had before the dream of a lifetime consisted of pretty much regular life. Or what became my life after all the shenanigans happened.
It was a saturday, we played "Killer is dead" all day and ate tons of Skittles, Arizona, Gummy worms, hot Cheetos, and most importantly Whales. (I know only twats eat whales but what can a man do without them?) It was a beautiful combination. When we'd finished the game it was pretty late so Axl and I just randomly started talking about the past. Well about highschool and how it was. I had found out that Axl was apparently an asshole back in highschool and he was every parents nightmare. Which wasn't that surprising. As for me there wasn't much to say. I never change I don't think I ever will. We pulled out pictures and looked up old myspaces. They were laughable. After that we prank called Zero saying that we were selling male enhancement pills. He didn't know it was us and raged on us we recorded it so the direct quote was this :
"First off, the fuck you get off calling me at 3 am. Secondly my dick is a gift from god and if it got enhanced it would split reality itself and if you ever call me back I'll seriously track this number and pull an Uma Thurman on your ass." Zero said plainly, then hung up. We called back using a different fake number.
"Hello...?" Zero said sleepily.
"Yes I am selling male enhancement pills, I understand that your dick is small." I said in my old business man voice.
"Oh hell the fuck no." Zero hung up the phone. Axl and I died laughing. It was one of those laughter fits that stay there for like 15 minutes. Suddenly we heard a knock at the door. None of us went to go get it. Suddenly we heard the door bust open. We both went wide eyed and ran into the living room. Axl grabbing his rurouni kenshin sword and me grabbing my wooden keyblade. We run in there to see Zero with a bat. We all stare at each other.
"So...it was you guys...?" Zero said suddenly dropping the bat. We nodded slowly.
"Yeah errr...I can't believe you seriously tracked the number." I said suddenly.
"Zero you realize I'll never let you live down the whole dick splitting reality thing will you?" Axl said. Zero's faecpalmed and just walked out the door.
Axl and I turned to each other and started laughing again. Karma was going to get us later.
After that we went to sleep playing My Boyfriend the space tyrant. We wanted to play it because everyone was making such a big deal about it on steam so we bought it and...it was destiny level gay and not even that good of a game. It was a point and click, with sorta bad instructions.
"Axl why is this sooooo gaaaaaaaaay." I said suddenly.
"I knowwww...tooo muuuuuuch innuendos. Not enough backstory." Axl said suddenly.
"I wanna know more about andromedus." I said.
"Yeah, WHERE'S THE EX-BOYFRIEND." Axl shouted at the screen.
"Is is bad that I wanna cosplay tycho." I said suddenly.
"Yes." Axl said looking at me a certain way. I laughed.
"But whyyyyy?" I asked.
"That outfit...is soooo skimpy. you'd catch a cold. Thirsty people would be flockin and the world is not yet ready for that level of cute." Axl said.
"I just don't think other people besides you find me attractive." I said.
"Nah that's totally not true. I'm pretty sure some people do. It's just your a quiet little Pop Rock and people sense your awkward." Axl said.
"Oh...I see." I said.
"Plus your forgetting about that Crash guy. He totally wanted to hit."
"I forgot about that...I guess it was a once in a life time thing."
"So like would you have dated him if you weren't dating me?" Axl asked.
"I'm not sure...maybe. He was a pretty cool guy. But honestly...if we weren't dating I would rather have a girlfriend rather than date a guy." I said.
"I understand how you feel...Like our relationship works because it's us, but like if another guy came at me I just don't think I would acknowledge it." Axl said.
"It's sorta like, we're only attracted to each other as far as the male gender goes." I finished for him. Axl nodded.
"Zero told me something like that once. That he was only attracted to X. I didn't really get it back then but I sorta get it now." Axl said thinking.
"This past like almost two years have probably been the best of my life." I said suddenly. Axl did a rare blush that comes on his face for certain occasions.
"Pop Rock...stop getting all cereal on me brooooo." Axl said turning away. I laughed.
"Yeah your right. It's out of character. I'm just gonna go to sleep." I said suddenly. Axl looked at me for a second and then looked down.
"Rock...you don't think we need to like...upgrade our relationship do you?" Axl said suddenly plopping down on the sheets.
"I don't know this is still my first time doing something like this." I said with a shrug. Axl looked at the ceiling. I was pretty much lying. I had really wanted an upgrade. I didn't know how but I wanted everything to be taken to the next level. I felt like I had grown up and I wanted something more serious. I mean not grown up as like "I'm not going to do stupid kid stuff." No not like that. Like I wanted more than just constant house visits and random love making. It was a strange feeling. The wierdest part is the fact that I didn't know exactly or what I wanted. So I never brought it up.
"I mean like...it's been two whole years, like... something has to change right?" Axl said still glancing up at the ceiling as if he couldn't make eye contact.
"Not if you don't want it to." I said with a shrug.
"So like I don't know if this came up before but, I'm afraid of commitment." Axl said suddenly. I looked over at him.
"Cereal? Why?"
"No reason...I just never wanted to get someone pregnant and have like 8 kids and have to take care of them all being stuck with the same person who is gradually getting ugly over time." Axl said all at once super fast without breaths. I looked at him strangely.
"Pfffft. Have no fear. I can't get pregnant because I am a man. And as for me gradually getting ugly I can't speak for that." I said with a small smile.
"Yeah I know...Alright so I have a story to tell you."
"Okay I'm listening." I said with a nod.
"Alright so once upon a time there was this junior in college. His name was Axl and he had nice hair. One night he was feeling some kind of way at a party and had a one night stand with this reaaaallly hot girl. He discovered the next morning she wasn't so hot without make up and lots of alcohol." Axl said. I felt like I knew where the story was going. Poor Axl.
"So two weeks later, she calls me back and is like "Aye bae I think I'm pregnant." So I freak the fuck out and I basically tell her that I'll be there for her and what not, despite not even knowing her good. So I do all this stuff for her, she's talking about marriage and long story short the bitch isn't even pregnant, never was, she just lied to me to lure me in. I dumped her and got a restraining order." Axl said finishing the story.
"So that's why you're afraid because of some crazy bar chick?" I asked. Axl nodded.
"That's understandable. I don't blame you." I said.
"R-Really?" Axl said with surprise as if I was going to tell him it was stupid.
"Yeah plus you committed to me not even knowing it Axl." I said suddenly with a small smile. Axl raised an eyebrow.
"Seriously?" Axl said. I nodded.
"Well your stuff is all over my house and mine over yours like we practically live with each other, we spend all our time together and we work together, we have the same friends and honestly at this point you couldn't get away from me super easy. I've got you Axl." I said with certainty. Axl tilted his head and then smiled.
"So what if you woke up next morning and I was gone and so was my stuff and I skipped town and never contacted Zero or X again?" Axl said. I shook my head.
"Like you'd ever do that. You don't like change. Plus some of your stuff is in places you don't know where it's at and could you really go your whole life without trolling X and Zero again?" I said. Axl sighed.
"You're right. Plus lets not forget you've got a banging body." Axl said poking at my skinniness. I blushed.
"Don't poke my skinniness." I said swatting his hand away. Axl laughed. Then stopped and put his arm around me and snuggled in. By then we were faced to face and suddenly he spoke.
"Lets move in with each other." Axl said with a grin on his face. I looked him in the eye and I could tell he was serious. But it surprised the hell out of me. Didn't he just say that he was afraid of commitment?
"Wait...wait what?" I said.
"Let's go find a neon pink house and move into it. We can put a "No more heroes" mission sign in front of it and..." I cut Axl off.
"Are you being serious right now?" I said suddenly.
"Well yeah why not?" Axl said as if baffled for me questioning it. I glanced him over.
"Well like...didn't you just say that you were afraid of commitment?" I stated.
"So I realized just now that you'll never ask me to do anything. Like ever. I can tell you want to do something more serious for our two years ya know?" Axl said suddenly.
"But what about you?" I said. Axl was right. I had wanted something big to happen for our two year anniversary. But everything stayed the same. I was just a little bit disappointed but I didn't care because I was still happy. I hadn't anticipated Axl bringing it up.
"I'd be super happy with it. Besides like you said it's like we already live with each other we just don't." Axl said. At that moment I got super happy. I felt the smile forming on my face and I turned away from Axl super quick. I was so happy that my mouth couldn't close and I just knew Axl was going to call me on it.
"Rock are you doing the thing." Axl said with a grin.
"Nooo I'm not." I said not looking at him. Axl just laughed and pulled turned me around and I tried to hide my smile but I couldn't.
"I can't believe you're turning 25 this year." Axl said with a poke to my cheak.
"Whatchu mean? I totally have this leg hair." I said pointing to my non existant leg hair.
"Rock, stop you're not helping yourself." Axl said fighting off laughter.
"Pfft alright, I'm not the one turning 26. Almost thirty dude." I said with squinty eyes. Axl's eyes squinted.
"Dude you're right...I'm gonna be 26 and I haven't even done anything with my life." Axl said eyes getting wide. I was concerned for a second cause it looked like he froze up.
"Are you good?" I asked.
"Just lots of regrets..." Axl said with a facepalm. I touched his shoulder and he hopped up.
"So about that neon pink house." Axl said.
"Let's do it." I nodded.
"Can we paint the walls random colors and have wall scrolls all over the house." Axl asked absent mindedly I could tell he was imagining the whole thing.
"Totally." I said.
"Well...hmmm what else could we do to take this farther?" Axl asked thinking.
"Well we already have matching sweaters sooo I don't know." I said thinking as well.
"I mean there's marriage but honestly Rock, I don't want to marry you because you can't cook, and I can't cook so we will die." Axl said pondering it alot. Well damn Axl you ain't have to say it like that.
"I can change!" I said with a false indignant tone.
"You burnt my kitchen one time trying to make cookies." Axl said unamused.
"It's hard out here." I confessed.
"Instant cookies man. Instant cookies." Axl said looking me in the eye. I sighed. He was right.
"Ah well, whatever." I said looking away.
"Can I confess something to you Rock?" Axl said with a grin. I nodded thinking not too much of it.
"Sure go ahead." I said.
"That first night at the wedding that night, you know when Mondo checks out girls with his Gigolo vision and he's over here like "Yes please" Right?" Axl said. I nodded.
"Yep, was that how it was?" I said with a laugh.
"Yes. It was like that for a while too, I had a thirst for you for a few months before that, all the way back from that hot springs trip too." Axl said with a smile. I was surprised because that was around the time I started liking Axl as well. It was strange around that time though I remember Axl always having some girl around.
"But didn't you like, go into a hotspring and look at a bunch of naked women and then get beat up by them, and the same day you messed around with all those girls too." I said not quite believing this claim. Axl made a pfft. noise.
"I thought I could get over it and it was just a little thing. I didn't really want to be bisexual ya know?" Axl said.3
"I know how you feel but, during that time, I felt, horrible a little bit...It was wierd ya know." I said scratching my head.
"Yeaaaah, no body just wants to be gay but hey that's what happens." Axl said leaning back. I thought for a second.
"Axl we'd still be friends if we broke up someday...? Right." I say suddenly. Axl laughs for a second and then stops and looks me in the eye.
"HAH. No, sorry." Axl said with a smile.
"You're kidding right?" I say.
"Well it just wouldn't be the same, we're over here sitting on my couch playing games as you know "Just friends" and I suddenly can't make out with you when I want to, that'd just be awkward." Axl says in thought.
"Thirst is that real? Well what if you broke up with me, what about then?" I asked.
"Were you suddenly just not attractive? Cause totally yeah. I was never good at controlling myself around hot ex girlfriends. That's why we allllways ended up getting back together...Hah." Axl said in thought.
"You, are a menace to society, you know that?" I said with an unamused face. Axl shrugged.
"That's what my highschool principle told me too and a few hours later he had a heart attack." Axl said with a satisfied smirk.
"Alright Light Yagami." I say with a laugh.
"But hey don't sweat the small stuff, it's not like we're breaking up anytime soon I mean, you can't get pregnant how great is that?" Axl said with a smile.
"I feel like this relationship is for all the wrong reasons." I said with a small laugh.
"What are the right reasons then? For love? Romance, shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit." Axl said with a strange accent. I laughed.
"You need Jesus, and some sleeping pills, Look at the time."
"5:23 am? It's saturday, this is my night~!" Axl yells. It wakes me up a little.
"You know, it's morning now soooooo..." I say looking at the clock.
"Get off me." Axl says plopping back on the bed. I smile.
"First you gotta get off yourself." I say somewhat quietly.
"Get off myself? Have you not seen me?" Axl said with a small smirk.
"A 25 year old guy with scene hair that is identical to Goku and has a giant X shape on his face with a grin, who is also unfortunately a orange head."
"Sexy right. You can't even handle it." Axl said with a suddenly yawn.
"Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay" I say with a sarcastic tone. Axl throws a pillow at me and I turn off the lights.
That's when Axl turns his nightlight on. Because the shadows could be Kazuya, or Zero still mad at those small dick jokes...We're gonna catch it later at work for that I feel.
It was worth it.
I love Saturdays.
So look at our ship getting all serious over here feels good to write something so nice ya know? I don't have much to say about this one it speaks for itself, this chapter goes after the whole story and yeah. Await more of these because they are coming.
Peace love, and no ,
fuck you Luke.
Byeeeeeeee~!