"The lion takes its fierceness from your fear. Walk up to the lion, and he will disappear. Run away and he runs after you."
- Florence Scovel Shinn
Kaz woke up in chaos. Heavy clouds of smoke invaded her senses and the heat, good god the heat was unbearable. She immediately broke out in a sweat; her beanie and jacket suffocating. Her feet were smoldering, and she realized in alarm that her socks had caught fire. She clumsily ripped them off.
The roar of the flames around her was deafening. Kaz tried to open her eyes but the smoke caused them to burn and well up; tears streamed down her cheeks. She tried to scream but inhaled soot and smoke. Her lungs and throat ached as she managed to flip herself onto her belly, hands shooting forward to scrabble for purchase on the wood floor.
The apartment complex, she thought before adrenaline fully gripped her, it's on fire.
Blind and growing faint from the lack of oxygen and seized with an overwhelming eagerness to move Kaz lunged forward on her hands and knees in the direction she hoped was her bedroom door. She kept her gloved hands in front of her as she groped around, scuttling forward and hoping please dear god to not walk directly into a wall of flame.
To her immense relief she noted that the heat was at her back and the faintest of breezes tickled her face. Yet she still couldn't open her eyes—tears dripped from her cheeks as Kaz's digits converged with an object. She frowned as she clamored her way to her feet, feeling up the rough and splintering wooden wall. How odd, her bedroom wall was adorned in the same floral-print wallpaper she's had since she was a baby.
Dismissing the thought, Kaz groped along the way towards the direction she knew her door to be, belly flat against the wall as she inched along. She ignored the jagged wood that cut and pricked at her unshod feet. Her throat tickled incessantly and she chanced a cough, immediately regretting it as heat and smoke poured down her throat, smothering her. Heaving, crying and gasping, Kaz broke into an awkward, stumbling run along the wall. She needed to get out. She needed to breathe. She needed…
Air.
It struck her full-force, like an ocean wave, instantly cooling her face and freezing her tears in place. Kaz drew in one quick gasp before realizing, suddenly, where's the fucking fl-
And then she was falling.
Kaz landed awkwardly, her legs buckling out from under her as she tumbled in the grass. The drop couldn't have been more than a couple of feet, but her ankles protested as though she had twisted them. The cool air kissed her face and licked the burns on her nose and cheeks. Kaz breathed… and breathed… her quick inhalations quickly turning into haggard, biting coughs as she wheezed into the grass. Her arms gave out and she pressed her face into the blessedly cool earth, ignoring the sharp prick of nature on her burns as her body shook with sobs.
There were shouts around her, the loud bellowing cries of men and the clanking of metal against metal. The sound of fire and splintering wood was evident, and Kaz thought she even heard the faint rumble of hoofs on earth. Yet she paid these things no mind. The grass served as a temporary balm to her scorched skin as Kaz simply lay there-arms outstretched-as the coughing that wracked her frame slowly subsided into rattling gasps. Her breath whistled miserably in her throat from the soot and ash she had inhaled. She just wanted to sleep; her body was sluggish and heavy. How nice it would be to just go back to sleep, face pressed into the grass. But through sheer force of will she remained conscious. The faces of the three boys down the hall appeared in her mind. Kaz needed to get up. She needed to make sure they got out alright.
Kaz was suddenly struck with a memory of when an old man in the apartment building parallel to hers had accidently caught fire to his apartment by falling asleep with a cigarette between his fingers. The bellowing of flames and shouts of the fireman and loud blaring of their sirens had been intense, but those things weren't what was etched into her memory. She recalled how she witnessed two fireman dragging out the man as he clutched at their uniforms with his gnarled hands, coughing and choking as though he couldn't get enough air. The man retched and gagged as the fireman hauled him in the ambulance, shouting and begging piteously for his wife. His wife had been dead for years.
Despite his state, Kaz remembered the intense wash of relief. He was safe. The man hadn't burned to a crisp.
Only to find out he had died on the way to the hospital.
"Smoke inhalation," her dad had told her as she reeled from the news, "Poor fella never stood a chance."
Smoke inhalation, Kaz repeated in her mind, Smoke inhalation.
She struggled to open her eyes, wiping them furiously with the back of her hand. Her vision was blurred, but she could make out wooden structures and huge, dancing yellow flames kissing the night sky. Kaz furrowed her brow in confusion. Where she expected the harsh red of fire trucks and ambulances she only saw wood and flames and… were those horses? Where she expected harsh sirens she heard shouts, screaming, snarling and the unmistakable clanging of metal against metal. Where she expected burly firefighters in black coats and yellow stripes she caught glimpses of figures in brown and black attire and… metal? Is that armor?
Kaz groaned, pushing her face back into the grass. She remembered how delusional the old man from the apartment in the building across from hers had been, how he had called out repeatedly for his long-dead wife. Perhaps hallucinations were a symptom of smoke inhalation.
Ice cold fingers gripped her heart as Kaz contemplated the thought. She thought of her dad… of Jay, Erik, and Marcus. Kaz squeezed her eyes shut. Please, if there's anyone up there, or whatever, please let me not die.
With a groan, Kaz lifted her arms and determinedly began to push herself off the grass. I don't want to die. She stumbled, once, twice, and then she was on her knees again, vomiting up the remains of Ms. DeFour's fettuccine alfredo into the grass. Kaz dry heaved several times after that-hands planted firmly in front of her-body trembling with the force of it. Her stomach churned, her head pounded, her face burned and her ankle throbbed. Kaz felt like someone had picked her up and beat the crap out of her, then got into their car and backed up over her for good measure. Not that she knew what that would feel like, but she suspected it felt a lot like this.
As the quaking of her body stilled, Kaz once again struggled to regain her footing. Although her stomach lurched violently from the effort she managed to climb to her feet, fueled by single-minded determination. The faces of the DeFour boys gave her strength.
Kaz stood there, feet planted squarely in the grass. She quivered slightly and fought to contain the bouts of nausea as she absorbed her surroundings at last. Blinking quickly, her blurred vision began to clear. Kaz's mouth fell open involuntarily. What. The. Fuck.
She hadn't been face-first on the grassy curb between the sidewalk and her street, at she had figured. Not even close. Kaz stood between two wooden houses. The house behind her, which she quickly realized had been the one where she had just emerged from, had been reduced to a charred version of its former self. It appeared that the house adjacent to her was destined to suffer the same fate. Kaz could see flames on the roof, its tendrils reaching up into the dark sky. She nearly jumped out of her skin when the roof collapsed with a thunderous crash.
Kaz caught a glimpse of movement out of the corner of her eye, and she turned to lay eyes on potentially the most disgusting-looking thing she had ever seen. It stood there-not a hundred yards away on the cobblestone street beyond the two houses-distracted by the clatter of the falling roof.
Her eyes grew wide as she took in its appearance. It was short, about her height, with broad shoulders, flat nose, and sallow, filthy skin. Its eyes were a glittering coal black and Kaz caught the glint of fangs in its gaping mouth. Kaz uttered a quick gasp despite herself, immediately regretting it when the creature's eyes flicked to her. A hostile grin broke open its face as it fixated on her. A clawed hand tightened around its weapon; a curved, wicked thing stained with black splotches. She stared at the weapon, unable to look away.
Is that blood? Kaz thought, breath now coming in shallow gasps.
This had to be a dream. Her expression was wan with queasiness and her lungs still ached with the effort to breathe. Her ankle throbbed and Kaz could taste bile in her throat. She clearly recognized bloodlust on the creature's face. Could nearly smell the stench of decay on its breath. The flickering glow of fire behind it portrayed it akin to a demon of hell.
Yet, it had to be a dream. The last thing she remembered was curling up in her bed. Kaz squeezed her eyes shut.
"It's a dream, I'm going to be okay," she whispered fervently, repeating the phrase like a mantra. Kaz's heart dropped as she heard the shifting and tinkle of armor as the creature rushed her. It's a freakin' dream, I'm going to BE OKAY!
In that moment, several things happened at once. The throbbing in her ankle suddenly vanished as did her nausea. Her eyes flew open as she sucked in one, deep breath. Her lungs and throat responded exuberantly, seemingly healed and free of their burns and toxins. Before the creature bore down on her, Kaz allowed a single, quick exhalation of relief. This is totally a dream.
Renewed with vigor, Kaz leapt out of the way of the creature's slashing weapon, rolling on the grassy expanse for a moment before leaping to her feet and taking off in the direction from which the creature had come.
The creature was fast but Kaz, now fueled by adrenaline and lucid realization, was faster. Now that she was convinced this was a dream-and quite possibly the most badass dream she's ever had-Kaz intended to see it through. At that meant not getting killed. Everyone knew you woke up when you got killed in a dream.
She heard the furious bellow of rage from behind her and grinned, smile quickly vanishing as she stepped out onto the cobblestones and took in the utter obliteration before her.
The path had turned and led out into a small square. Kaz now realized she was in a small village, likely a farming village. Her father had taken her once to her aunt's farm in Iowa. The smell of the farm had been unique and unforgettable. The smell was apparent here, nearly palpable alongside the reek of burnt wood, blood, and putrid fetor of death.
Conscious of the creature advancing on her, Kaz allowed her gaze a moment's sweep of the area. She noted that the square was littered with bodies of creatures, men, woman, and children alike. She noted the up-ended crates and barrels, the destroyed stables, the slaughtered cattle. Fires still raged in the homes surrounding the square, illuminating the night sky. The light of the flames cast ghoulish shadows on the faces of the dead. The cobblestones were slick with blood. There was no person alive save for a smattering of frightened chickens clucking around the carnage.
Kaz blanched, suddenly nervous about her state of mind. Did all of this come from her subconscious?
She then took off, dashing across the square and onward, following the cobblestone pathway up a hill to tour the extent of her imagination. Her bare feet slapped against the stones as she ran, mingling with the blood, dirt, and rot splashed there. Kaz felt-more than heard-the creature giving chase; the pounding of heavy feet on stone a sharp contrast to the loud rumbling of flames. Black ash and soot hovered in the air and Kaz found herself blinking away tears once more.
Her impaired vision nearly caused her to run right into a group of figures clustered around the awning of a farmhouse and she danced away to avoid tumbling into them.
"Them" consisted of a knot of creatures not unlike the one pursuing her. Their features diverged from one another in varying degrees of grotesque, yet it was apparent the creatures were of the same lineage. The group of three hadn't noticed her, so riveted they were in their task. They were clawing and swinging their weapons at a pile of debris with every intention of making a path into the farmhouse. Kaz briefly pondered their actions until she heard screams coming from the house. Her stomach dropped; they were the shrill screams of children.
Without warning, Kaz immediately understood her role in this spooky, vivid dream of hers.
Her previous assailant had finally caught up to her and-upon spotting the others-hesitated as it glanced at her. Kaz was already moving though, putting some distance between herself and the strange collection of creatures as she bent forth and scooped up a loose cobblestone.
"Hey!" Kaz hollered, lobbing her projectile at the nearest brute. The stone bounced off its head with a satisfying thunk. "Hey! Short, dark, and ugly! Yeah, you!"
The stricken creature whipped its head around at once, having the decency to look stunned. Kaz would be surprised, too, if there were a 5'3", 110 pound streak of nothing chucking rocks at her noggin. The hungry stare of the creature that had chased her intensified as it took a step forward.
In moments another makeshift missile was in her hand-this time a heavy bit of broken wood-and she let it fly. It missed its targets entirely, instead clattering at the feet of the creatures. The projectile did, however, serve its purpose. She now had the full attention of the grisly beasts; four pairs of murderous ebon eyes watching her as though Kaz was dinner.
The scrutiny of these fearsome creatures caused her stomach to wrench uncomfortably, but Kaz swallowed hard and fought to bury her anxiety. It's a dream; a stupidly badass dream.
And with that, Kaz turned on her heel and ran. As she dashed across the cobblestones she twisted her head around to make sure the group had been following her. She needn't have bothered—the hammering of heavy boots behind her reverberated through the cobblestones and up her bare feet.
The incline of the path grew steep as she advanced deeper into the village. It was apparent that this particular village had been built atop a large hill, and Kaz was running along its main road. The sounds of screaming and voices became more perceptible as she ran on. She was suddenly sure she was following the same path the creatures had when they had attacked the village. Kaz remembered the all-too-human faces of the slain victims in the square, and hope blossomed in her gut. She suddenly longed to catch a glimpse of another human in this strange dream.
It seemed, as though, this would not be the case as she stumbled across yet another group of creatures. Kaz had emerged upon the scene just in time to watch one of them run its blade through a villager.
This brute was larger and taller than the others, standing nearly 6' tall. It was more humanoid than its smaller counterparts, thin and muscular with broad shoulders. However, its appearance denoted its true nature. With a sloped forehead, ashen skin, yellowed fangs, and rippling muscles this thing was positively terrifying.
Kaz watched horrified as the glittering, blood-soaked blade withdrew from the villager. The man's face permanently contorted into an expression of pain and surprise, he slumped to the ground. His head lolled to one side, lifeless eyes seeming to stare accusatorily at her.
Her empty stomach twisted, terror lodged in her throat. This is a nightmare, she thought dismally, rooted to the spot.
Kaz knew that the group that had been trailing her had caught up; they encircled her, eyes darting furtively in the direction of the murdering abomination before her. They chittered, anxious, and if Kaz hadn't been so transfixed by the sight before her she would have realized they were attempting to herd her forward. She stumbled as one of them shoved her mercilessly from behind, goading her towards the taller beast.
The realization came fast as yellow, bloodshot eyes came to rest on her face. Kaz shuddered at the savagery, the unapologetic brutality she saw in those eyes. Catching her agitation the monster grinned, shouldering smaller uglies out of its way as it lumbered towards her slight frame.
Fear gripped her, constricting her airways and making her feel slightly light-headed.
"This is only a dream… this is only a dream… " Not for the first time, Kaz found herself repeating that mantra. She wondered if dreams always felt this real for normal people; if normal people would smell the blood and burning wood in the crisp air, if normal people would sense the excitement resonating off the creatures gathered around her, if normal people have ever had a moment in a dream so terrifying that they were in very real danger of voiding their bowels.
This is only a dream… and when that thing kills me, I'll wake up, she reasoned with herself, swallowing hard as the creature began to raise its weapon in anticipation. The man's lifeblood beaded and fell from the blade, splattering in an array of crimson droplets on the cobblestones. It won't hurt, it'll be over, and I'll wake up.
Kaz watched unflinchingly as the anathema came within arm's length of her. She watched as it drew the weapon back, prepared to run her through as it did the villager. Skewered like a slab of meat. Kaz could feel its scalding breath on her face; could nearly feel the bloodlust rolling off in waves.
She thought about the boys, her neighbors. She thought of how she would brag to them, relaying the terror and hopelessness of her dream. How she was shish kebob'd by Big Ugly and how she, in fact, did not wet her pants. She imagined how Erik would roll his eyes, convinced she was bluffing. She imagined the expression on Jay's face as he would sit there, transfixed with her story. The image drew a small smile to her lips.
As she began to close her eyes, succumbing to her fate, a deafening howl pierced the night sky.
Kaz's eyes flew open, startled, and landed on the creature. It took her a moment to realize an arrow protruded squarely from its chest, the tip not even a foot from her nose. The howling resonated from the enraged beast before her. It grabbed the arrow in one meaty fist, pulling the entire shaft through and out its chest. Kaz's eyes popped as it crumbled the offending arrow in one fist. She caught a glimpse of dark blood welling from the wound as it turned to face its attacker.
A small group of men lie not a hundred yards away. They appeared haggard, bloody and worn. Their garb seemed dated, befitting to pictures Kaz had seen in her medieval history books. The archer in front lowered his bow, meeting her gaze. Kaz was momentarily stunned by the humanity in those strained eyes.
"Run boy!"
The desperation in the man's voice was like a shock of cool water, as though a bucket of the stuff was upended on her head. Seizing the advantage of the creatures' momentary disorganization, Kaz lunged to one side, ducking between a gap that had opened between two of the creatures. She took two sure-footed steps before leaping onto a crate and up onto the awning of a house. Her fingers gripped the edge of the awning as she hoisted herself up and onto it.
Kaz turned to watch the taller creature's eyes flick to her for a brief moment before pointing and barking out orders, words guttural and harsh.
"You, kill the child. You, come."
And then the abomination turned and bounded after the group of brave men-who had fled at this point- tailed by a group of eager, smaller uglies. Kaz had nearly fallen off her perch when the beast had spoke, having been positive that it were nothing more than a senseless, flesh-hungry demon.
The other half of the band of misfits immediately made towards her, scrambling up the awning with surprising ease. It took her a moment to realize that she was the "child."
Run, stupid! Her mind screamed. And she did, spinning on her heel and dashing across the roof.
Shingles bit into her bare feet as she ran, saying a silent prayer in relief as she realized she had chosen a cottage that had not been on fire. It seemed as though many of the buildings deeper into the village were not yet consumed in flame; the creatures having not yet setting them ablaze.
Kaz saw the gap between houses fast approaching. The distance between the cottages was about as long as she was tall, but she knew she could make it. Utilizing her momentum Kaz took a mighty leap, feet adjoining to the roof of the adjacent house. She then pressed onward, heart hammering as she counted the dull thuds of bodies connecting with the house behind her. She lost count after five, but didn't stop.
Go go go jump go go go jump.
Rational thought left her as she ran, adrenaline channeling some primitive part of her that was possessed with fear and the desire to escape. Her lungs burned with exertion and her face shone with sweat. Her muscles, chiseled from years of gymnastics and parkour, protested as she pushed them to their limit. She was minutely aware that her discalced feet were becoming slippery, likely slick with blood from the sharp angles of the roofs.
Kaz was terrified. This was her dream-she knew it was a dream-and she was terrified. It was too real. It was too much. She ached for it to end; to wake up thrashing in her own bedroom. She knew she should just turn around and allow her pursuers to descend on her and release her from this nightmare. But she was too cowardly, too afraid of the end result. She remembered the agony she had experienced in the burning building and was all-too-aware of her throbbing feet; pain thrumming through her with every step. Pain. If this hurt would she feel herself die, the sharp weapons thrusting into her body? Kaz didn't want to find out.
With a start, Kaz abruptly ran out of roof. Unthinking, she pitched herself forward into a tree. Her sweaty palms grappled with branch momentarily before she lost her grip and fell, landing on her back. Breath knocked out of her lungs, Kaz was delirious for a moment and blinked up at the starry sky. Her vision was masqueraded by reaching tendrils of nature, and Kaz realized she had fallen directly into a bush.
The branches crushed underneath her bit into her back as she watched an array of ugly heads peek out from over the roof. Their eyes searched the mountain forest imploringly. Kaz's heart thudded in her chest as she sought to maintain control of her ragged breathing. Her heart beat so loud she was sure the creatures could hear it.
A chorus of yells and screams suddenly permeated the air and, like blood in the water, the creatures forgot their pursuit of her and disappeared from over the side of the building. Relief flooded her and she breathed a sigh of relief. Her heart ached for the folks that had served as her convenient distraction, and she had to firmly remind herself that it was a dream. Those folks were not real.
Still, she hoped it wasn't the group of men that had rescued her. She thought back to the bearded, bloody archer. She recalled the fierce determination that set his eyes ablaze, his strained voice telling her to run. Kaz didn't even blame him for mistaking her for a boy.
She spent a few heartbeats in the bush-staring at the sky-before attempting to move. Kaz nodded her head and wiggled her fingers and toes, satisfied that she hadn't done anything unfortunate like break her back. She clamored up into a sitting position, fingers grasping the branches of the bush to hoist her upward. Kaz gasped as a searing pain coursed through her abdomen, and she idly wondered if she had broken her tailbone. Her appendages ached and burned and her feet were chilly as blood dried on her soles.
"This is a shitty fucking dream," she muttered to herself, rolling out of the bush and onto the soft grass of the forest. Leaves crunched underfoot as Kaz staggered to her feet, utilizing the tree she had fallen from as support.
Then she simply stood there, clutching the trunk of the tree, mind reeling with all that had happened. She could scarcely believe it, was that cluster derived from her subconscious? She had never seen those creatures before, had never been to a place quite like this, and she doubted her imagination was that inventive. And yet, it must be. It was the only explanation.
"I'm ready to wake up now," Kaz said, keeping her voice steady but low enough to avoid attracting any unwanted attention. "I want to wake up now. Wake up. Wake up!"
Frustrated, Kaz turned around and banged her head against the tree. Pain blossomed in her skull as she clutched her head, moaning. Obviously that had been a bad idea.
She then pinched herself… hard. And then again. And again. Nothing.
Kaz resisted the urge to stamp her foot like a petulant child, uttering a soft harrumph under her breath. This was getting her nowhere.
She looked up at the building she had hurtled herself from just a moment before. She had reached the edge of the village; before flinging herself off the roof Kaz had caught a glimpse of a sea of trees stretching out over the hill. The shadows of night had prevented her from seeing anything further.
There was really no telling what awaited her in the forest, but Kaz wasn't in a terrible hurry to get slaughtered back in the village. Sucking in a resolute breath, she meandered into the trees. The forest was dark and low-hanging branches slapped at her face, but Kaz was determined to put distance between herself and the village. At least, far enough away so that she could no longer hear the screams. She knew they weren't real, but they chilled her to the bone nonetheless.
Kaz wasn't sure how far she had gone. The ache on the bottoms of her feet had subsided into a dull throb as she trooped through mud, twigs and grass. She hadn't bothered to will the cuts away as she had before-the pain serving as a reminder of the dream's lucidity. She hoped she remembered this dream when she woke, as appalling as it was. Kaz was no expert at interpreting dreams, but she was certain this particular one spoke volumes about her as a person. Perhaps she was a psychopath.
The eerie glow of the burning village had long since faded and finally Kaz could perceive no noise but the gentle sounds of the forest around her. Exhaustion coursed through her as her legs buckled, seeking refuge against the sturdy trunk of a nearby tree. Weariness coursed through her; it was as if her very bones ached.
I suppose running for your life will do that, she thought, arranging herself more comfortably against the tree. It was as good of a place as any to take a quick nap, she supposed. Not that there were any good places in this treacherous dreamscape.
Her head hit the back of the tree as her eyes slowly drifted shut. Kaz was lulled into a peaceful slumber, soothed by the tender melody of the forest around her.
With a start, Kaz jolted awake. Sweat clung to her brow and stung her eyes. Her muscles ached in protest. Her hands immediately came up and cupped her face, her shoulders, her stomach. She felt the reassuring softness of the bed around her, grabbing fistfuls of her bed sheets.
"Oh, thank god," she breathed, visibly deflating in relief.