I officially hate the writers for making me dislike Alison on the show. Pretty sure there's no hope for Emison, but I'm still gonna hope anyway. This is a two-parter, for all you lovely people who review. Shit gets real.

Ali woke up to a completely empty bed. Her eyes had fluttered open as her body was brought out of an anxiety filled nightmare. Her body was covered in a thin sheet of sweat, and she felt disoriented. As she adjusted to the early morning, she heard hushed voices outside the door. Carefully she strained her ears as best she could.

"I just don't want to see you get hurt."

"I'm still trying to figure everything out."

"Be careful, okay? Sometimes, we let our emotions blind what's right, and what's wrong."

"For a blonde, you're pretty insightful."

"Shut up, you know you love me. Don't act like you don't want all of this."

"Oh yeah, uh huh. You wish you could have me."

"All day every day."

There was a pause between the two as they laughed. Ali easily identified Emily's voice, and knew it was Hanna she was talking to. The suggestive tone in Hanna's voice, even if teasing, made Ali's stomach twist in unpleasant ways.

"When are you going to tell the others?"

"I…I'm not sure."

"Hey, no pressure. You know I'm here no matter what, and you don't need to tell them anything if you don't want to. But you know that Spencer and Aria will have your back no matter what. They wouldn't give a fuck if you came out. We all care about you so much, Em. Even Ali."

Ali rolled her eyes but internally was relieved that the other blonde didn't think she was total shit.

"You're the best," Emily said warmly. "I'm gonna go see if Ali's awake."

"I'll go check on Sparia," Hanna agreed and Alison rolled her eyes even more at the nickname.

She frowned, annoyed that Hanna would think that she's going to hurt Emily (and in the back of her mind, it hurts her because she's sure she will). But as she heard Emily walk back, she closed her eyes and pretended to sleep. When Emily opened the door, she opened her eyes as if just barely waking up.

"Hey," Emily greeted.

"Mornin'," Ali replied, still truly half asleep.

"Are you okay? You kept shifting around in your sleep last night," Emily commented, concerned.

"I hear that's a thing," Ali said dryly, remembering her dream, "people moving in their sleep."

"You don't," Emily replied quietly. "Or at least you don't usually."

Ali shrugged, not in the mood and dismissed Emily. "Weird."

Emily's forehead creased slightly as a slight puzzled expression crept onto her face at Alison's demeanor and edgy tone, but she quickly put on a poker face. She was unwilling to let the blonde affect her negatively. Yet, she knew the blonde better than any of their other friends, and she knew that Ali was acting distant and she hadn't been awake for more than 45 seconds.

"Do you want breakfast? Hanna's attempting to make eggs."

"I might just skip out and go home," Alison said sitting up and stretching.

"Already?"

"Yeah, my mom has her typical Sunday brunch and she'll take me shopping after. And I'm not in the mood to eat burnt eggs by Chef Hanna." It wasn't a total lie, her mom did want to take her shopping, and Alison could really use the retail therapy. She also didn't want to be around the girls this morning. Sometimes, it was hard being around them knowing they didn't think too highly of her. Sure they loved her deep down, but she was afraid their love was mostly out of fear. But in a way, Ali mostly hated it because it reminded her of what a fuckup she was, and how it was her own damn fault that everyone perceived her that way.

"You hate brunch with your mom," Emily said with narrowed eyes, disregarding her dig at Hanna.

"Change of heart," Ali said shrugging.

"Is this about last night?" Emily asked trying to stay unaffected, but there was a hint of obvious worry in her voice.

"What about last night?" Ali asked a little sharper than she should have, not wanting to deal with the train wreck of thoughts in her head. Hanna sounded so sure that she would end up hurting Emily somehow. And then there was that jealousy that didn't sit well inside her. On top of all of that, she felt nauseous from her anxious dream where she was stuck in her bed terrified that Cece would walk in at any moment.

"I don't know. Was that just an act? Cause you sure are eager to just waltz right out of here."

"Contrary to popular belief, Emily, I actually am capable of having feelings other than bitchy, and I can be real and honest with you," Ali snapped, hurt that Emily would think that she wasn't being genuine last night, even if she was in a bad mood now. She shoved her stuff in her bag. "I have a lot going on okay? It's complicated. But don't make this more complicated than it already is."

"You said her name in your sleep," Emily blurted out before her eyes grew wide. She hadn't meant to bring that up now and watched as Alison paled suddenly.

"Whose name?"

"Cece's."

"I don't know why," Ali lied but Emily's raised eyebrow told her she didn't believe that pathetic fib. Even she herself wouldn't have believed it. "How did I say it?"

"You just mumbled it along with incoherent words," Emily frowned.

"Beats me," Ali said as she stood up with her bag. "I gotta go."

Emily looked so…angry? No, disappointed was a better word, Ali thought. She sighed.

"Bye Em," she said walking by her and squeezed her hand attempting to make up the slightest bit for her attitude. "I'll text you later."

"Whatever," Emily murmured under her breath and she saw Ali wince ever so slightly but she kept walking and didn't look back.

X

Emily didn't really stay up late on school nights, and since tomorrow was Monday she was getting ready for bed by ten thirty. She enjoyed getting her sleep, and lately she needed some rest. But, at ten thirty one, her phone vibrated loudly on her bedside table. Incoming call from Alison. Emily's heart clenched, unsure of whether or not to answer (but who was she kidding, she'd always answer).

"Hello?"

"Hi," came the soft voice from the other side. There was a long pause between the two of them, at least thirty seconds before Ali spoke again. "Can I come over?"

"I'm already in bed Ali."

"I meant, can I stay over?"

"On a school night?"

"I just don't want to be at home right now." Alison wasn't begging, but Emily knew by her tone that she was on the verge of it if she refused.

"Climb up my window so my mom won't see you," she said sighing.

"Here I come." The line clicked dead and Emily peered out to see the tiny blonde already scaling the trellis. If she wasn't still upset about earlier, she would have laughed to herself, amused.

She opened her window and extended her hand for the blonde to grab onto and pull herself in. She hopped in quietly, already in her pj's- if an extremely cut open, thin tank and booty shorts counted as pajamas.

"Did brunch not end well?" Emily asked dryly, subconsciously licking her lips at the sight of Ali.

"Something like that," Ali said, her tone clear she didn't want to discuss it.

"What's going on at home?"

"I wanted to see you," Ali said avoiding the question.

"You didn't really want to this morning," Emily stated bluntly.

"I think the correct response would have been, I wanted to see you too, Ali," the blonde joked sarcastically.

"Not funny," Emily scowling as she ignored the blonde and went to her dresser.

"Still not the right answer," Ali teased snidely. "Try again."

Without thinking, Emily rolled her eyes turned her back to the queen bee and pulled her sweater off and then her bra, and pulled on a thin blue t-shirt.

"If you came over here to antagonize me, you can climb back out the window," she said frowning as she pulled off her jeans and slipped into a really short pair of shorts. She turned around, still frowning, expecting the blonde to make some snappy remark. But she did not expect Alison to be looking at her like that- her eyes suddenly dark with lust and raking over her body as if she wanted to jump the swimmer right then and there, school nights and parents be damned. A devilish smirk made its way onto her face.

"God Em, you are by far the best looking," she said, her voice distant and different. Yes, it was seductive, but it wasn't in a pleasant way. Emily felt a warning shiver run down her spine. She didn't like this Alison, it was the same Alison that used her feelings as a punch line, the same Alison that terrorized 'loser Mona' and 'pigskin'. Her lips curled into a smirk. "I bet Hefty Hanna wishes she could look half this good."

"Stop talking about her like that," Emily growled, extremely protective of the other blonde in her life. "She's our friend."

"She wishes she could be me," Alison said with a sneer that really set off Emily. She goaded her on, provoking her until she got the response she wanted. "She wishes she was me so that you'd be in love with her because she's so desperate for attention-"

But Alison couldn't finish before Emily's stormed towards her, grabbed her by her tank, and roughly shoved the blonde against a wall. Alison grunted as her back collided- that was gonna hurt in the morning. "I said stop fucking talk about her like that."

Ali smirked, and Emily swore the devil would be proud of her if he saw that look of sin.

"Make me," she challenged and the look of disbelief that crossed Emily's face would have been priceless in any other situation but this. She knew Emily inside and out- she knew exactly how to push her buttons. She knew that even though it was her that Emily fooled around with, Hanna was the one that Emily relied on emotional support from. Hanna was the friend that Emily sought out for unwavering love. She had mused earlier that Emily must have had a soft spot for blondes.

And Alison knew that she wanted to set Emily off in that moment- in a sick way she wanted Emily to fight her. She'd seen glimpses of Emily angry at different points in their friendship. With Emily being irritated (and Ali feeling a need for control), and then changing in front of her, lust filled Alison's entire being and she wanted to see just how far she could push Emily.

"What's wrong with you?" Emily asked looking at her like she was broken and Ali internally rolled her eyes- she hated that look.

Ali didn't respond but looked Emily dead in the eye as she leaned in, prying Emily's hands off of her by grabbing her wrists. Emily didn't like this girl in front of her, but she couldn't stop the rush of heat as her eyes glanced at the newly exposed cleavage she'd caused by pulling Alison's tank.

"I know you wanna kiss me," Alison said in her signature mocking and teasing voice provoking Emily.

Alison's brain was all hazy, and the only thing she knew was that she was getting increasingly wet the more aggressive Emily became.

Sure enough, Emily released a low growl and slipped her hand into Alison's hair and yanked her head back ever so slightly as she leaned down, hovering right over the blonde's lips- and god, Alison thinks she could cum right there from the way Emily is pressed against her and teasing her with dark eyes.

Emily pulls Ali forward into a searing kiss as she presses herself against Ali, one leg slipping between hers. The kiss is angry, and demanding, and Alison writhes under Emily as the brunette bites and shoves her tongue in her mouth. Her free hand snakes up Alison's waist, over her chest, and holds Alison's neck in a tight grip. Alison's never seen Emily this ferocious before, but she doesn't want the brunette to stop. Emily's hand in her hair is suddenly on her chest, flicking her nipple through her practically transparent tank top.

"Off," Emily growled as she tugged at the shirt and stepped back as Ali threw it to the other side of the room. Ali watched as Emily's eyes turned jet black at the sight of her topless in nothing but booty shorts. She didn't know this side of Emily existed, but she was going along with it. "Off," Emily demanded again looking at Ali's shorts. When Alison was slow to comply, Emily just stepped into her and pulled them down. Alison shivered as cold air hit her sex through her black lace panties, and she trembled as Emily snaked up her body, lips trailing over skin. She stopped at her chest and her lips closed around her nipple, sucking and using her tongue to swirl around and flick it while pinching the other with her fingers while rolling it. Ali moaned, swearing relentlessly at the pleasure overload. Emily straightened up and kissed Alison again harshly.

Her hands gripped Emily's ass, pulling the swimmer as close as she could while grinding her sex on Emily's thigh. The swimmer gasped at how wet Alison was, she could feel the slick wetness through her lacy panties. Ali was soaked.

"I need you," Ali panted as she rocked her hips against Emily, whimpering as Emily sucked on her neck. "I need you now," she said before a long, low moan escaped her.

But somehow, those words snapped Emily back to reality. She gradually slowed her kissing, and pulled back with stormy, conflicted eyes. "I can't Ali," she said, her voice strangled.

Emily swore she saw Alison's confidence vanish in a matter of seconds. That haunting, broken look appeared and the swimmer had never seen her more vulnerable than in that moment. Her face was flushed and lips were swollen as she panted out of breath, topless. "Why not?" she asked in a steady voice. Emily opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out. Alison brought her arms up and crossed them over her chest just barely covering up.

"Don't you want me?" Alison asked in a small voice.

Emily looked around for Alison's discarded tank and picked it up, walking over to Alison. She pulled the blonde's arms away from her chest and tilted Alison's chin up. Her eyes raked over her one last time before she gave her the tank top. "Of course I want you," Emily replied honestly as she gently held Alison's chin. Since when had their relationship become so bipolar- and when the hell did she become some crazy angry sex goddess? When did she become the strong, confident one?

"Then why?"

"Because," Emily said as she took the tank from the still blonde and slid it over her head and waited for her to be comfortable in it. "Because I love you, Alison."

Alison stared at her, as if in shock for several seconds before she looked away.

"So why don't you want to…you know," Alison asked confused.

"I do, I thought that was obvious," Emily said with the faintest smile.

"But you stopped. I don't get it, if you love me, and you want to, then why'd you stop?"

Emily stared at the blonde who seemed truly confused.

"I don't want our first time to be tainted like that," Emily said softly. "I don't want the reason I finally sleep with you to be on a whim because you called Hanna fat. I couldn't handle that with you. And I…I need to know you feel the same way, because I don't think I could deal with that…especially cause…"

Alison's eyes widened. Emily was a virgin. It's not like Alison didn't know that, but it had been the last thing on her lust-filled, depressed, angry mind lately.

"Oh," was the only thing Alison could think to say. Emily just watched as Ali thought for a bit, and then sat down on the edge of Emily's bed. A million condescending thoughts ran through her mind. What if Emily was afraid of being with her because she thought Ali was easy and gave it up to everyone? She probably thought Alison was using her as an experiment or something.

"You're not mad are you?" Emily asked walking over and sitting next to her.

The blonde's head whipped towards her. "Mad? Why would I be mad?" she asked looking at Emily for a moment, truly perplexed.

Emily shrugged. The blonde shook her head and ran a hand through her hair, frustration evident on her face. "God," she huffed angry at herself.

"What?"

"You probably think I'm such a whore," she spat bitterly.

"I don't think that," Emily reassured quickly. Ali laughed dryly as she thought back to the conversation where Emily accused her of messing around with everyone. And, well, it wasn't far from the truth. There was Noel, Sean, a slew of random college boys, Jason's friends, people she didn't even remember from earlier in high school…even Toby before he had a thing for Spencer. She didn't sleep with any of them, but she's sure that people assumed she did- even the girls aside from Emily all thought she lost it to a college boy. When she'd seen how crest-fallen Emily had looked when she heard, she took the brunette aside and made Emily promise to keep it a secret that she lied and was still a virgin. The way Emily's eyes lit up when she realized that Alison hadn't actually slept with someone caused Ali's heart to melt. But that was two years ago.

Still, Emily, the soft-spoken, kind-hearted swimmer was the only person she thought she could even associate the words "making love" with. And Ali wasn't a sap by any means but she knew she wanted her first time to mean something, to be with someone whom she actually had feelings for, especially since everything else she'd done had meant absolutely nothing. She can't remember the last person before Emily that made her nervous in a good way.

"Well I am," Ali quipped shaking her head again.

"No," Emily said gently. "You are not a whore. I wanted that as bad as you did. I mean, god Ali, I know everyone thinks I'm the most innocent person but if they all knew what I wanted you to do to me…"

Alison let out a weak laugh.

"And if everyone knew that sweet Emily Fields let Alison DiLaurentis have her way with her, I'm sure people would come after me with pitchforks."

"It doesn't matter what other people think Ali."

"Wanna know what I think? I'm thinking oh my god- I can't take her virginity."

Emily was quiet, it didn't seem like Ali had finished her thought. But her heart broke a little hearing that, because Alison's the one she's waited for all this time. Alison shook her head thoughtfully.

"Because, you deserve a much better person than me."

"I don't want anyone but you."

"Well maybe you should."

"Don't say that-"

"Emily I'm so fucked up," Ali said, her voice trembling as she protested. "I'm all kinds of fucked up. I don't know how you put up with me. I'm just this…this…slut that teases you, I don't even know if I'm capable of loving you. You shouldn't love me, Em."

"Stop calling yourself a slut, Ali. Sluts sleep around and you haven't even-"

"I'm not a virgin anymore, Em."

"What? Who?" Emily sputtered, her voice suddenly tiny and Alison felt like she'd ripped her own heart out when she saw how dejected Emily suddenly looked. It wasn't like she wasn't one by her own will, or that she was proud, but Emily needed the whole truth.

"Cece raped me." The words fall out of her mouth so easily that she wonders why she never confessed before. She breathes a sigh of relief after saying it, finally able to tell somebody.

Emily stared, paralyzed by three little words.