Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh-

"Lil, are you alright in there?"

Lily Potter straightened from her hunched position over the toilet at the sound of her husband's voice. A quick glance at the clock told her she'd been in there for twenty minutes. Twenty minutes since she left the Christmas Party. Twenty minutes since she took the muggle test. Twenty minutes since she'd performed every spell she knew to back it up. Twenty minutes since her life changed. Twenty minutes. She really did owe him an answer, since she wasn't planning on leaving the bathroom anytime soon. "Yes, fine. Perfectly alright."

"Please let me in." His voice was soft through the door, and her stomach twisted uncomfortably. She dropped a hand to it, silently willing the meal she'd eaten to stay down.

"James, I'm fine." She insisted. "Go back to the party. Entertain Sirius and make sure he doesn't break my mother's ornaments."

"If you're sure..."

"I am."

"Come out soon." Hearing his retreating footsteps, she felt safe enough to let out a sigh. The offending test caught her eye, sitting on the counter just next to her wand. With one, violent swipe of her hand it was on the floor. She didn't want to look at it, think about it, or the future it implied. She was twenty-one, barely an adult! She couldn't handle a... And what would James think? He was always going on about how Alice and Frank were mad thinking it would work out. He would never want... But was she judging it too fast? Obviously, she couldn't keep working as an Auror, nor do as many missions for the Order. James would insist on quitting as well, but they couldn't get by like that forever. Or, maybe they could, she was a Potter now, and James was loaded. No way she would let him quit though; he loved it too much.

Their flat was just so tiny, the only extra room being used for storage. They would have to move somewhere larger, but not like the mansion James had grown up in. He'd told Lily millions of times how he hated the place. 'Too big and not enough family to occupy it,' he'd told her once upon a time. Not enough family was less of a problem now...

Lily's stomach clenched again and she threw herself over the toilet, wreching up what little food her nausea had allowed her to eat in the first place. She weakly flushed, moving immediately to wash her mouth out. Sinking to the floor, with her head on the toilet rim, she took several calming breaths. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in," Lily muttered from her new position, not willing enough to keep whoever it was out. The bathroom door creaked open, and a mess of curly black hair shoved through the crack.

"Prongs is worried about you." He stated, stepping the rest of the way in after determining the redhead was not, in fact, indecent.

"I am fine." She insisted again, but anyone with half a brain could see she wasn't. So she watched as Sirius' eyes left her, searching the bathroom for evidence. That's when she remembered what she'd knocked to the floor. Their eyes found it at the same time. Lily continued staring at it as his eyes drifted back to her, and bore a hole through the side of her head.

"Lily," He prompted, sitting across from her. His hands wrapped around her own, comfortingly. Lily's green eyes met his grey ones, and she felt the strong brotherly bond she never would have expected a mere three years prior. She knew that he would listen to anything she'd say now, and he'd comfort her if she needed it, or even back her up if she decided not to keep it.

"I'm pregnant."

"That's why you've been in here so long?"

"I don't know what to do." Lily looked up, horrified to find tears in her eyes. She hadn't meant to start crying.

"Are you going to keep it?"

"Of course I am," Her eyes narrowed to a glare. No matter how unexpected it was, she would never...and Sirius knew that!

"Are you going to tell James?" Sirius let her anger roll off his back.

"Not right now,"

"Scared?"

"Terrified," He nodded, as if he'd expected her answer. Enveloping her in his arms, she let herself cry. He didn't comment or move, just comforting her like a brother should. Arms around her, chin on her head, soothingly patting her back, he muttered soothing things she didn't quite listen to. After a long period of silence, there was another knock at the door. This time there was no doubt in Lily's mind who was knocking, and she was proved correct as James slipped in.

"You've been in here for an hour." He stated, plopping himself down on Lily's right.

"We've been talking." Sirius said catching the pleading look Lily sent him.

"About?"

"Things," He smirked, and then jumped up. "I think I hear Marlene calling. So I'll leave you three to yourselves." The door clicked shut, and Lily stared at it, jaw dropped. She could not believe that man's nerve! How dare he? She was just about ready to walk out the bathroom herself, and hex him into the next millennia.

"Three? Lily, what's he talking about?" James sounded a mite-bit frantic. Lily dared to look him in the eyes, but instead only caught his gaze as it drifted down to her abdomen and stayed there. He swallowed with some difficulty, eyes bulging slightly. "Lily?" He prodded, still staring at her midsection like it would suddenly begin to speak and reveal everything.

"I'm going to murder Sirius." She managed to spit out. Her own fear had stilled her entire body, as she awaited James' reaction to the news she hadn't properly told him yet.

"Lily, are you...are we?" The sentenced trailed off, and James lifted his gaze to her petrified face.

"I'm pregnant." She whispered for the second time that day.

"How far along?" James asked, eyeing her midsection again.

"Um, about a month probably,"

"A month, Lily?" He sounded hurt. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I only found out for certain today!" She nearly yelled, feeling her stomach cramp again. Throwing herself against the toilet again, she heaved. James' hands were immediately holding her hair back, and rubbing her back soothingly. Lily really wished the vomiting would stop, but her nerves were on edge and, merlin, did morning sickness really have to last all day? She moved away from the toilet, resting her head instead on her husband's shoulder.

"What are we going to do?" He muttered, pressing a kiss to her temple. But Lily didn't know. She was so confused by all of it. Pregnant. She was pregnant. There was a baby inside her right now that was growing. A baby, her and James' baby. Theirs, it was all theirs. Half of him, half of her, all of them. She looked at her husband, refusing to imagine what it would look like. Though, deep down inside she wished for everything of him in a tiny little bundle. She wanted the baby to have his hair, his smile, his sense of humor and confidence, his bravery, his nose, his jaw, cheekbones, the way his eyes would melt like chocolate in the summer when he looked at something he loved. Everything of him, and maybe some of her. Maybe her compassion, her eyes since James loved them so, her perfectly straight teeth.

She found herself smiling, even in her confusion and fear. They had each other, James and Lily, and the baby would have them too. They had no idea what they were doing, and they had no business having a child in the middle of a war. But they had the rest of their lives to figure it out. The rest of forever to learn and raise their baby. What would they do? Right now on the bathroom floor, they would support each other. They would keep loving each other. They would move to a bigger house, paint a nursery, and keep loving each other. They would make Sirius and Marlene the Godparents, trust only Remus to babysit, and keep loving each other. It was a moment of clarity. They would live. They would die. They would keep loving each other.

But that was a hefty order, and a lot to say on Christmas Eve in the bathroom. So Lily Potter lied.

"I don't know."