Innocence didn't mean we're immune to these things

Let's blame the passage of time

Love and Loss, truth it costs more than I can spare right now

Maybe it's simpler to lie...

Fireflies by Ron Pope

Harry watched from the safety of the porch. He had fallen into another bout of confusion after lunch. Thankfully Ginny was the only one to take notice. It would be a matter of months before the symptons would occur daily. That was the only though on his mind as he watched his family.

They were spending the afternoon at the Burrow, the entire family. He smiled as Lily waved at him. She was perched on a rock beneath the largest tree in the garden. It was her favorite place at the Burrow, just like her mother she would spend hours beneath the branches, dreaming. She was braiding her cousin Lucy's auburn locks delicately, giggling as Louis came swinging down from the tree branches.

It was all going to end. He wasn't going to be around to witness moments like these. The mere sight of his precious daughter nearly brought him to tears. How was he to live like this? When he was young, fearing Riddle's plots, he never felt like he was losing so much. Now it was different. He had everything to lose.

They will be okay. He knew this. Harry had taken so much care in making sure his family was taken care of. James would graduate next year, maybe Harry would be there at the ceremony. Albus would probably be made Head Boy. Lily, oh she was so smart, she would graduate top of her class and go on to be something amazing, the next Minister of Magic.

He glanced through the window behind him to see Ginny in the kitchen. Her father must have said something because she threw her head back and laughed. Merlin, he loved to hear her laugh. Harry watched as she cleared the table, stealing a fingerfull of frosting off the cake Molly had baked. He felt his breathing pause for a moment as she licked it, grinning when her mother swatted her away from the treat.

"Harry."

Whipping his head around, he saw Ron and Hermione looking at him, concerned. Hermione had her arms crossed and she looked close to tears as she sat down beside him, resting her head on his shoulder.

Harry draped his arm around her. "Ron's gotten you all worked up over nothing now."

"You need to explain why you changed your will." Ron sat down on the other side of him.

"It's not important."

"Like hell it is. Are you okay? Is Ginny?"

Harry sighed, closing his eyes; he wished he could just lie. "It was a curse from my trip to South America. It caused a magical build-up. It grew into a brain tumor."

He felt Hermione's sharp intake of breath and he gave her shoulder a squeeze. "They think I have a year, maybe a little longer."

Ron rested his elbows on his knees, staring at the ground in silence. Harry couldn't bring himself to look, but he knew Hermione was silently crying. He quietly hoped the kids were too preoccupied to notice.

"There's nothing to treat it, something those muggles can do?" Ron still hadn't looked up.

"No. There's nothing that can be done."

The three friends sat in silence for a long time. He was sure Ginny had seen them and kept others away. He had never imagined it would be so hard to tell his friends. Watching Teddy storm out of the diner had been enough emotion for Harry.

"That's why Ted wasn't here today?" Hermione's voice was barely a whisper.

"Yeah, I told him this morning. I plan to tell the kids later."

Ron nodded, eyes still glued down. "And Mum and Dad?"

"I don't want to tell anyone else."

"But Har-"

"No, Hermione. No one is going to know. If my symptoms become too obvious then maybe I will, but I will not panic anyone." He paused. "We should look a little more cheerful. The kids will notice."

Hermione straightened up and Ron attempted half-heartedly to appear less solemn.

"It's getting late. We promised Hugo we would take him into London for dinner. Reward for helping Ron de-gnome the garden." Hermione sniffed loudly, turning and hugging her friend tightly.

"Mione it will all be okay, I promise."

"Quit being noble, Harry, we're not kids anymore."

"That makes it so much harder." He responded, giving Ron a quick hug before watching them leave to gather their children.

Standing up, he walked off the porch, moving towards the paddock where he realized all the children were gathered. Ginny appeared beside him and grippped his hand tightly.

They sat together in the grass, eyes on the numerous brooms in the air. James and Albus were both playing keeper as always, each defending an end of the pitch. Lily was weaving through her cousins, the ball tucked beneath her arm securely. She was exactly like Ginny.

"I don't want to let any of this go, Gin."

"What happened to 'everything's fine?'"

He sighed. "I know it is, but I still don't want to leave."

"I would hope not. I saw how upset Ron and Hermione were. It's going to be hard for them to keep it from Rose and Hugo."

"I know." Harry smiled. "Look, Lily is using your backwards shot."

"That's my girl. I taught her everything she knows."

"No one wants to be seeker."

"Oh please, James is nearly as good as you. He just doesn't have the attention span for the position. Plus it was always clear Albus would play keeper. I think he wanted to have another rivalry with his brother."

"Probably. What would they have done if they were both in Gryffinder?"

"Let's just be happy they're not."

The game ended and the family returned home, much to the dismay of all three teenagers. Emerging from the fireplace, they all protested, calling out their specific reasons.

"Freddy and I had plans."

"Dom and I were going to Diagon Alley."

"I was supposed to meet the guys for a pick-up game."

"Enough!" Ginny snapped, glaring at her children. "Now, I want you to clean up and change for dinner. We will eat as a family. Your father and I have something to tell you."

It was as if Jamie's ears had literally perked up at the mentiong of an announcement. All three kids obediantly went to the stairs and up to their rooms.

Harry grinned at his wife. "I didn't have to say a word. Thanks love."

Ginny smacked his chest playfully. "Go make dinner lover boy."

He chuckled and went into the kitchen, trying to make his good feeling last. He pulled out the chicken and started to gather ingrediants. He did a lot of the cooking, especially in the beginning of the relationship when Ginny barely knew how to make toast. He alway did things the muggle way, despite Molly teaching him everything about cooking with magic. He simply prefered to do things without magic. That's why he always lived in a muggle style house.

"Hey Dad, need some help?"

He looked up to see his own green eyes looking back at him. Albus was the helper. He never quite grew out of it, the ability to enjoy helping his parents.

"Sure, buddy. Start peeling those potatoes."

Al did as he was told, though his eyes kept wandering back to his father; Harry could feel it.

"Dad, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"How do you know if someone likes you for you? Like, instead of liking you just for your name?"

Harry nodded with a slight smile. "I remember having the same problem. Care to tell me a bit more about this?"

Al sighed. "This girl in Ravenclaw. She's really smart and nice...but..."

"But you don't want to pursue her just to realize she only wants a piece of the Potter fame."

"Yeah."

"Honestly? There's not much you can do. I wouldn't write this girl out entirely, but keep your guard up. You never know what could happen."

"Thanks, Dad."

"Anytime. So, how much did Neville shield from us in Jamie's report?"

Albus laughed. "Nev saved him from so many detentions. Says he has run out of punishments for him."

Harry laughed, listening to his son's stories the entire time they prepared supper.

Once the family sat down for dinner, Harry felt his sadness return. His eyes rested for a moment on all of his children, thinking about the past and the future he was going to miss out on. He wouldn't see his grandchildren. Ginny could re-marry...

That thought set him back. He would want Ginny to be happy and taken care of. But another man living in his house? With his children and wife? His life?

"Honey?"

Ginny was staring at him, worried. She probably thought it was symptoms again. He shook his head. "I'm fine, love."

She nodded, the worry not leaving her eyes all the way.

"So, Dad what's this announcement? We finally selling Jamie to the trolls?" Lily asked airily.

"Thank you, my dearest sister." James deadpanned.

Ginny sighed. "No one is being sold. Besides I doubt they'd want him."

"Actually, this is more serious, guys." Harry started, digging for more courage. "Do you remember when I went to the Amazon? And how I had slight injuries?"

Albus nodded. "Yeah, you were really sore after that."

"Well it was more than that. It took a lot of healers before I finally was sent to a muggle doctor."

"Why would they do that?" Lily was already panicked.

Harry held Ginny's hand. "What do you guys know about brain tumors?"

"Fuck." James breathed. His eyes flashed when his parents didn't even reprimand him.

Albus ran a hand through his messy hair. "It's terminal, isn't it? They can't fix it?"

Harry nodded grimly, causing Lily to leap from her chair, sending it to the floor loudly. Without a word, she ran from the room.

"I'll go." Ginny kissed Harry's cheek before following her daughter.

James was starely dumbly at the wall. Albus was fidgeting, running his hands through his hair.

"It's not fair."

Harry looked up to see Jamie scowling in disgust. "You are considered the greatest wizard since Dumbledore. You saved the world when you were seventeen. How the hell can this happen?"

"I'm still human, Jamie."

Albus asked in a small voice, "How long?"

"About a year, maybe more. But it will probably only be about nine months or so before the symptoms become severe."

"What will happen?" James questioned.

"Awful headaches. I'll get confused a lot. This tumor is in a place where I'll eventually lose the ability to walk, do simple things like read or open a cupboard. I will pretty much become...nothing."

"Will you lose your memory?"

"They say it's different for everyone." That was an outright lie. The doctor had said it was pretty much a guarantee he would forget his own name.

"Listen, boys, I don't plan to tell the rest of the family until it's necesary."

"I think it's necessary now." Jamie protested.

"Silence. Now, I told Teddy and Ron and Hermione. No one else is to know until I say otherwise."

He rubbed his eyes with a groan. "This is going to be hard for all of us, I know. I just need you to be strong. Not just for your mother and little sister, but for me."

"Dad, you're Harry Potter, you're the strongest of all of us."

He smiled at his younger son. "I'm not as strong as you think. Listen, this was a rough night for all of us. Why don't you head up to your rooms."

Both boys hugged their father, something they usually only did when asked to before leaving for school.

"Love you, Dad." Albus murmured into Harry's shoulder.

"I love you too. Both of you."

After waiting a minute, he abandoned the leftovers on the table and walked up the stairs, feeling his age in his knees for the first time.

Opening their bedroom door, he caught sight of Ginny, pulling off her shirt and tossing it on the floor beside her trousers. She turned and looked at him, trying to smile.

He moved to her, capturing her lips with his.

Tugging off his own shirt, he could feel their kisses becoming more frantic, full of more need and desire. They could feel the end as if it was tomorrow, not a year away. Forever didn't even feel like enough time with Ginny; a year was like a blink of an eye.

They moved against one another, sitting up on their bed. He pulled her head back, running his fingers through her hair. "I love you."

She tried to catch her breath to answer. "I love you too, Harry."

He eased her down on her back and they took advantage of the rest of the night.

Harry woke up feeling only slightly better. He and Ginny hadn't had a night like that since Lily was conceived. He had always made sure to be prepared for death, it was part of his job. But having the timeline stamped on it destroyed him inside.

He got dressed and kissed his sleeping wife before walking downstairs and flooing to the ministry.

Nightshift workers were filing out and others were trickling in to be ready in time for the work day to start. Harry ignored everyone as he walked to his office. He was surprised to find Ron sitting inside, apparently waiting for him.

"How are the kids?"

"Upset of course."

"Ginny?"

"We shagged all night. I'm exhausted."

Ron rolled his eyes. "How's your back?"

"Healing up nicely. Barely feel it now."

"So, what are you planning to do with work?"

Harry sighed. "I've been head of the department for eight years. Maybe I should just retire. Just do the odd side job, ya know?"

"You do realize that makes me next in line to be head?"

Harry smirked. "See good things do happen."

Ron scoffed. "I never wanted to be head, Harry. I like what I do now."

"Ron, you do most of what I do."

"Without all the responsibility. It's great. I never have to fire people and I have half the paperwork."

"That makes Mark Swanson the head."

Ron grimaced. "Who's after him?"

"Michael Corner. But I'd never give it to him, he's terrible."

"These options are just stellar. Naw, I've always said I'll quit when you do."

"Excuse me?"

"If you retire, I will too. I'll go back to working with George full time."

"Ron-"

"Harry, this job has always been you and me working together. We've been doing it since we were eleven. We bring in the bad guys and Hermione tosses them in jail. You may be able to go off on your own, but I don't want to. When I was younger, maybe. But not now, I'm too old."

"Ron, I can't leave the department to just anyone."

Ron sighed. "If you're serious about this, then I'll talk it over with Hermione. Maybe I will stay on for a few years, take the time to find someone and train them up right."

Harry smiled. That was his plan. He had always told Ron that once he decided to retire, he would stay on for a few years to train someone to replace him. Now he didn't have that time. But Ron did.

"You're the executive of my estate in my will."

"What? I didn't see that when I looked at it."

"Ginny shouldn't have that burden. She needs to focus on the kids. Hermione will know the legal garb of it all. It's simple stuff like putting the kid's trust funds in Ginny's name, stuff like that. I already took care of most of it."

Ron nodded with a sigh.

"Listen, I need to think of something to cheer the family up. Especially Ted. Any ideas?"

"Well, I dunno about the girls, but take the boys on one of those camping trips you used to do all the time."

Harry snapped his fingers, excited. "Of course! We haven't done that since Teddy joined the force. Take care of my work, would you? You can collect the retirement forms for me." He stood up, glancing around the office. "You can start decorating your new office too."

"Yes, oh Chosen One." Ron chuckled. Harry shot him a glare before leaving the office. He had three boys to round up and camping gear to pack.

A/N: Please review!