Bilbo POV
"Be a help and take these to the lads, would ya?" Bofur asked, handing me two bowls of stew after I had finished my own. I nodded and took the two bowls into the forest where the boys were watching the ponies.
When I walked up to them, they were just staring at the ponies and I held back a chuckle, already knowing what was wrong. I couldn't help that their faces were priceless.
"What's wrong?" I asked as I cleared my throat, trying to keep up appearances.
"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies." Kili replied.
"Except we've run into a slight problem." Fili said after his brother, looking back at me worriedly.
"We had sixteen," Kili said, still looking out at the pasture.
"Now there's… fourteen." Fili completed.
"Well then, let's get investigating. Wouldn't want Thorin to find out, now would we?" I said as I put the two bowls down and hopped over the log. They both just raised their eyebrows and followed me quickly after giving each other a quick glance.
"Daisy and Bungle are missing." Kili said as he walked around, looking at the other ponies as Fili and I inspected the downed tree.
"Looks like something big uprooted this tree." Fili said as he stared at the tree.
"Yes, something big, and quite possibly very dangerous. Smelly too." I muttered the last words under my breath.
"Look there's a light, just over there!" Fili yelled before we all went running to where a dead log sat, hiding behind it as we looked towards the fire. "Just what I was thinking kee."
I looked at Fili like he had just grown a second head. Kili hadn't said anything… at least not out loud. I looked over at Kili who had been smirking at his brother before I gave him an oddly confused look.
"Trolls." They both said at the same time. I continued to look at them in confusion before they both up and jumped over the log, headed closer. I followed quickly and hid behind a tree as a large troll passed me by with two more ponies.
"Give me a knife." I told Fili, who looked at me strangely. "Give me a knife!" I whisper-shouted. He reluctantly pulled one out of his boot and handed it to me hesitantly. "Now go back to the camp and warn the others. I'm going to get our ponies back." I told them. They just stared at me for a moment. Oh my, I broke them. "GO!"
Finally they understood and ran off back to the camp to get the others. I took a deep breath before walking towards the ponies slowly.
Once I had reached them, I began to cut the thick rope with the knife/dagger that Fili had given me. It took some time, but I managed to get them cut.
However, as soon as the ponies were free, I tried to sneak away with them and broke a rather large twig, causing the trolls' attention to turn to me.
"What have we here, Bert? A oversized squirrel trying to steal our nags?" William asked as Bert picked me up by my jacket.
"I am not a squirrel, thank you very much!" I yelled, trying to buy myself some time. I was glad the ponies got away though.
"Look! It talks and everything!" Tom yelled.
"What are you?" Bert asked as he dangled me above the fire.
"I'm a burglar-hobbit!" I shouted out, making the exact same mistake I did the first time.
"A burglarobbit? Say, are there anymore of you burglarobbits laying around? Maybe we could make a pie!" William said excitedly and I almost gagged at his breath.
"No, no, no, no, no. I am the only one, thank won't find anymore of my kind for miles!" I said honestly. It wasn't a lie.
Suddenly, Kili jumped out of the woods and started slashing the troll's feet with his sword.
"Drop him!" Kili shouted and I just crossed my arms, looking at the beasts with raised eyebrows. "I said, drop him!"
And so, I was flung across the way, directly at Kili, who had to drop his sword in order to catch me properly.
Kili POV
After the trolls threw Bilbo at me, I helped him up and grabbed my sword as Fili and the others stormed at the trolls.
'You alright, Kee?' I heard from somewhere deep in my mind. I still hadn't gotten used to this type of communication between me and Fee.
'I'm fine, brother.' I pushed back to him as I ran towards the trolls, slashing whatever I could reach with my sword. 'lean down!' I shouted in my mind towards Fili, who did, indeed, lean down as I ran towards him. I jumped onto his back and he catapulted me over the troll, slashing as I went. That was fun!
After fighting for a few more minutes, we all turned around to see Bilbo dangling by his arms, being held by two of the trolls.
"Put down your arms, or we'll rip his off!" One of the trolls said and I looked over to uncle, who, after a moment, plunged his sword into the ground. I then threw my sword to the ground and grumbled to myself.
We were all forced to strip down to our small clothes, then we had our hands and feet tied and we were put into burlap sacks and thrown on top of each other. I landed on Thorin's legs, where as Fee landed on his stomach near our feet.
"You okay, fee?" I asked him through my mind.
"What do you think, Kili? We are all about to be eaten by mountain trolls and I've got your foot in my stomach!" Fili whisper-shouted out loud. I could practically feel uncle's eyes burning into the back of my head. We hadn't told him about being able to talk to each other yet.
After a few minutes passed by of them cooking the other half of the company on the spit, I had closed my eyes and just waited until I heard Bilbo talking to the trolls.
"Let the flurrgeraburbber hobbit talk! Now what's wrong with the seasonings?" Bert asked as he looked at the hobbit, who had somehow managed to stand up.
"Have you smelled them? It will take a lot more than sage to plate this lot up!" Bilbo told them.
"Hey! You smell too, you know!" I yelled out at him along with the others.
"There's nothing wrong with a bit of raw dwarf, boots and all!" One of the others said as it walked over and picked Bombur up, dangling him over his mouth.
"Wait! Wait! That one's infected!" Bilbo shouted. "He's got… worms… in his…. TUBES!" We all looked at Bilbo, glaring until the troll threw Bombur back at us. And of course, he had to land on top of me.
Once I got my breath back after Bombur rolled off of me, I resumed glaring at Bilbo.
"In fact, they've all got parasites. Nasty lot if you ask me." Bilbo said making us all lash out at him.
"I don't have parasites, you have parasites!" I yelled at him before uncle kicked me in the back. "Ow, what was that for?!"
"He's buying us time, play along!" I heard Fili shout in my mind. Everyone started yelling about how they had parasites.
"I've got huge parasites! The biggest parasites you've ever seen!" Of course, I had to make it into a competition, considering that's just what I do.
"And what would you have us do? Let them all go?" The troll asked Bilbo.
"Well…"
"The little ferret! He's taking us for fools!" One of the trolls yelled.
"Ferret?!" Bilbo shouted.
"Fools?!" The other troll shouted.
"The dawn will take you all!" We all heard Gandalf yell from a large boulder on the hill.
"Who was that?"
"Can we eat him, too?"
"We can try!"
Then Gandalf slammed his staff down onto the rock and it cracked in half, letting in the blinding light of the sun. All of the trolls were turned to stone within seconds and I let out a sigh of relief.
He came down and cut a few of the sacks open, letting the free ones cut the others loose. Thorin cut me loose and handed me the knife to cut Fili loose. I stood Fee upright and began to cut away at the tie, making the sack fall to his feet.
Fili, Thorin, and I were the only ones in the company that didn't have the huge one-piece small clothes. Instead, we just had simple breech-like small clothes. The others were just too hot all the time, and too much extra weight for an archer.
If I had my way, I would simply walk around shirtless all the time. The hair on my chest made me feel more like my kin, and Fee always joked that my beard simply grew on my chest!
My eyes subconsciously raked over Fili's form, checking for any signs of injury as I cut his bonds. Satisfied that I saw none, I finished my job and handed the knife to Fili, seeing that it was one of his.
"I think uncle knows." I told him quietly as we both pulled our tunics on.
"Why would you say that?" Fili asked quickly.
"Fee, you answered one of my questions out loud when I hadn't said anything." I told him and his eyes widened.
"I did? By Mahal, I couldn't even tell the difference." Fili muttered. "But what does it matter? Uncle already knows about the images."
"I just- I wanted to keep it just between us for a little while." I told him quietly. He looked up at me and nodded.
"Well then, how about this- if he asks, we tell him the truth, but if he doesn't ask, we say nothing." Fili replied. I thought about it for a second before nodding.
"Sounds like a plan." I told him before heading over to where Uncle was talking to Gandalf.
Okay, TROLLS! Vile creatures, they are. Hope you enjoyed my little improvisation. Let me know what you think! Reviews are very important to me and I've gotten so few! Also if anyone has any requests for a story, LET ME KNOW! I am dying for ideas here! Love you all, my darlings. -Bex-