A/n- Hello my dearies! Its been two days since my last update cause well let's face it it's easier to update during the week. As always thank you to everyone that read, reviewed, favorited and followed they mean the world to me and the self-proclaimed review whore that I am thrives on knowing what people think of the story. So I decided to extend it to at least 12 chapters cause I gained some inspiration the other day and can't do everything that I need to in only 10 chapters, so lucky you guys. For those asking about why Damon hasn't left Caroline if he knows she's cheating, we will get into that later- trust me there is a reason behind it. This chapter was a lot of fun to write and it setting the story up for the middle part. As always I promise a happy ending so please keep that in mind. Okay I have ranted enough and are done- the songs for this chapter are:
Love/Hate heartbreak and You Call Me a Bitch like It's a Bad Thing by Halestorm
Until next time, happy reading!
Your Song
Chapter 7- Love/Hate Heartbreak
Elena managed to get to the other side of the parking lot before her legs wouldn't take her any further and she had to sit down before she fell down. She felt like she was in the middle of a panic attack, her breathing coming out stuttered, her head spinning. Collapsing down onto one of the parking space dividers she bent forward to rest her head against her knees as the sobs broke through her body. For all the bravado that she had put on in front of Damon it was all just an act, she was hurt and while there was some semblance of anger it was nowhere close to being what she had expressed to him. Swearing softly she clutched at her stomach, trying to protect herself from the sharp pain that came with her stuttered breathing.
It felt like forever of not being able to breathe until she felt herself starting to calm down to the point where she could take in everything around her. The crowds had started to dissipate, only the extremely loyal few baring Kompulsion shirts daring to stick around after everyone else had left. Nobody paid her any attention in her far back dark corner and for that she was thankful, she didn't know how she would be able to explain the tear stains and mini panic attack that were the result of Damon and his insistence to hurt her. Taking another deep, slightly calming breath she reached for her purse, rifling around for her notebook. She wasn't ready to go back to the bus, had no desire to go back to the bus and until she was at least slightly ready she would be productive and do something else.
Opening to the first page she blanched slightly when Damon's note fell out and fluttered to the ground, her stomach curling again. At first that note had meant so much and now it felt like it was mocking her- he had played her and just the thought of him was enough to make her sick. Swearing she let her notebook fall to the side as she reached for the note, the paper tearing easily in her grasp. Smaller and smaller the pieces got until it was little more than confetti in her hands, her spirit feeling a little more stable with each tear that was made. She meant nothing to him, or so she was convinced and because of that he wouldn't mean anything to her, if that meant shutting off her emotions then she would do it.
Laughing softly to herself she felt like she might break, even though she was determined to not let that happen. Releasing the confetti pieces to scatter along the floor she reached for her notebook again- she'd be damned if she gave Damon any more control over herself. Rolling her shoulders she cast her eyes towards the bus, the glimpse of blond curls that she got through one of the cracked windows fueling the anger that was barely simmering under the surface. She wouldn't be sad anymore, not when she could channel everything that she was feeling into rage. Smirking softly to herself she set her pen to paper and for the first time in a very long time she felt like the words came easily- the writer's block completely gone.
She hummed softly to herself as she wrote, already able to hear the melody in her head and laughing softly knowing that Jeremy would love the chance to add a heavy bass line to everything that she was writing. She was done writing happy go lucky ballads and shit that came out sounding popish it was time to get down to her roots again, time to get back to the stuff that she loved. She laughed softly starting to drum out a beat against her thigh as she hummed, already able to hear the way that the song was going to come out.
Why do you waste my time
Two steps, I don't rewind
Feeling I can't define
I give back to you
She sang softly, completely into the song and the anger that it helped flame. Nobody but her and Damon would understand the reason behind the lyrics and that was perfectly fine with her, she wanted them to haunt him, wanted him to feel every single ounce of pain that she was feeling.
Between love, between hate
Shake the silence but it's too late
And it haunts you, and its haunts you
It's a love hate, heartbreak.
She got so into her creative process she hadn't even realized that she was no longer keeping beat but that there was a soft drumming next to her. Hesitating she glanced next to her to see her brother, his hands striking out the beat as he hummed along- no matter what they always seemed to be in perfect sync when it came to the music that they wrote. Squeaking softly she flushed red in embarrassment, falling backward slightly, barely able to catch herself on his arm.
"Jesus Jer you scared the shit outta me." She huffed as he smirked at her, pulling her back upright.
"I saw you storm off of the bus and figured you might need an ear." He shrugged slightly and then reached for her notebook, pulling it onto his own lap, "I don't know who pissed you off but I have to say, let it happen more often, it's nice to get back to what we know." Elena shrugged herself looking down at her feet, there was no way in hell that she was going to tell her brother what had happened, he would slaughter Damon and ask questions second.
"I'm tired of the industry bullshit." She lied, well partially lied, "I want to do what we love again, not that mellow bullshit, we do better with our style, it doesn't sound forced so let's get back to it." Jeremy smiled at that and nodded, it was nice to see his sister behaving and sounding more like herself for the first time in a very long time.
"Hell yeah, I'm down with that." Elena laughed softly, taking her notebook back and pulling out the pen that she had tucked behind her ear.
"Listen, I have a few ideas..."
!
2
#
4
%
Damon was pacing on the bus, Elena had disappeared several hours before and he hadn't seen her come back. He was starting to worry. All of his bandmates had gone to bed hours earlier, even Caroline with her whining and begging of him to come to bed had disappeared into the back a while ago. Glancing out the window he hoped to get some sight of her but it was like she had just disappeared. Swearing softly he debated getting up and going to look for her, but then the door to the bus opened and Elena climbed in, what looked like a true smile curling the corners of her lips. Her clothes were skewed, she had paint on the corner of her cheek and she looked completely debauched. Instantly Damon's jealousy flared up.
"Where the hell have you been?" He demanded, crowding into her personal space. Elena narrowed her eyes as she stepped back, her hands on her hip.
"Not that it's any of your business Dad but I was out." She smirked slightly as she heard Jeremy snort behind her, barely able to keep his laughter in- he really didn't like Damon and any chance for Damon to get what he felt he deserved was amusing to him.
"Out?" Damon questioned, probably wanting a more in-depth answer, for her to explain, but Elena decided she was having too much fun playing ignorant, was having too much fun ruffling his feathers.
"Yeah, out... you know that thing people do when they want to get away from certain people? Out. O-U-T... out." Jeremy leaned against her lower back, shaking with laughter as his sister folded her arms across her chest, "And before you ask, no I'm not going to tell you where I was, who I was doing or what I was doing cause its none of your damn business." She shrugged pushing her hair back behind her ear, drawing attention to the fact that she had a handprint shaped paint mark just above her collar bone that Damon was pretty positive couldn't be hers, "Now if you don't mind I've had a long, busy, trying night and I'm absolutely exhausted so unless you have any other questions for me, which I probably won't answer anyways, I'm going to bed." Jeremy was laughing even harder against her back, to the point where she had to reach out to steady him least he push her over.
"What the fuck happened to you?" Damon finally stuttered out in disbelief.
"Whatever do you mean?" Elena mocked back, cocking her head to the side as she looked him over, "I'm exactly the same person that I was when I left here earlier this afternoon." Damon swore softly and shook his head pushing his fingers back through his hair.
"The hell you are...you're acting like a bitch now and I don't get why." Elena smirked softly before she turned around to look at her brother, a cruel look coming into her gaze.
"That's an awesome lyric." She paused for a moment looking over her brother as he cocked an eyebrow at her.
"You have to share with the rest of the class or we don't know what you're talking about Lena." He reminded her. The smirk on her features grew a little more as she started to hum softly to herself, tapping out a rhythm against her thigh.
You call me a bitch like it a bad thing,
You call me a freak like that means something
Can't get your way so you're sulking
She sang softly under her breath as Jeremy started to laugh softly again. She continued drumming on her thigh as she thought of the next chunk of words, her mind working in over time.
I think we know the rest
Get it off your chest
I don't give a shit
I love it when you call me a bitch like it's a bad thing
She giggled softly as she let the words trail off before turning to look at a gob smacked Damon.
"Thanks for the inspiration." She taunted, reaching up to clap him on his shoulder, "Couldn't have done it without you." And then she was shoving past him toward the back of the bus with Jeremy following not a step behind her. Gone was the Elena who let her hurt show through, if it meant being a bitch then she would do it, she would do anything that it took to protect herself because she was not going to let Damon ever hurt her again- not this time.