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Author's note: These chapters will be flashfics – meaning they're intended to be short (under 1000 words).
Mud is disgusting.
There are some women who think plastering that stuff on their faces is a way to look younger. I suppose it's because it hurts when they pull it off, so they think it's yanking the wrinkles with it. I never noticed a difference.
But mud isn't gross because women think caking it on makes them look like anything other than the swamp monster. It's terrible because it's sticky.
There I was, riding along on Yoshi, having to defeat the infinite Lakitu clones, when suddenly one of those irritable Spiny things got the drop on me.
Of course, whenever anything touches a Yoshi's leg, the dinosaur rears back and dumps me on the ground. Happens every single time and it's rather annoying. I've landed on my neck, on top of a rock, on a bed of spikes... If there's a horrid place for that dinosaur to drop me, he will. Once he even dropped me down a pit. I wasn't amused.
On this particular occasion, though, Yoshi reared back and dumped me flat on my back in the mud.
It's just mud, right?
Wrong.
I was glad it stuck to the Spiny's feet as well so it wasn't able to immediately impale me on one of its spikes. But the mud wasn't stagnant. There was a flow there, and the flow was headed off the edge of the earth. Now, don't misunderstand me – the earth is round. There are just a lot of holes to fall into that don't seem to have a bottom.
Every time I put my hands under me to try to push myself up, the flow would dislodge my grip. I started flailing a bit, because even though it was slow flowing, I still knew that it wouldn't be long before I fell over the edge. One of my hands touched that Yoshi and he squealed, jumped, and took a dive right off the side into the abyss.
I rolled my eyes, still trying to find a decent grasp of the earth beneath me, liquid as it was, to push against and right myself. The Spiny seemed to be trying to back pedal as well, finally having realized that the flow was a bit steep for its short legs to fight against.
Finally managing to sit up slightly, I settled for reaching towards the small patch of grass I could see rather than trying to get completely to my feet. Sadly, the flow increased, pushing the Spiny more quickly towards me. The impact caused me to lose my balance, falling back onto the mud again.
I felt the mud seeping into my hair as I fought to stay conscious. Thoughts of the flow had left my mind. They swiftly returned when I felt the ground disappear from beneath my head and neck. I tried to sit up, but found I was unable. I went sailing over the edge and into the abyss.
My last thought as the mud continued to flow down onto me was to hope it would rain and at least wash the slimy earth from my broken body.