A/N: I am so happy that you are enjoying this story! These characters practically write themselves and I love that fact. Thank you for sticking with me and continuing to leave encouraging reviews! The next few days will be busy for me but I will try to have the next chapter out soon! Once again, thank you to my beta, Bec, who is sticking with me and smiling about it. :)

Disclaimer: Still not mine, just borrowing them for a little while.

Chapter 5: Doubt

The next few days pass relatively easy. Although he is in a great deal of pain, Castle is moving around a little more each day and they are hoping he can be released soon. Tomorrow he will receive a thorough evaluation and if all is well he will be released with an intensive plan of rehab and follow up appointments.

Kate hasn't left his side since the morning they made their confessions to each other. She has opted to sleep in the chair by his bed, stepping away only to freshen up in the bathroom. She still can't contain the need, that feeling of wanting to be with him constantly, is still getting used to it

They haven't talked about his rehab; she knows it's going to be difficult for him, knows he is going to need support, but she doesn't want to smother him either. He has made comments that he wants to do most of it from his house in the Hamptons, and part of her agrees because she knows he'll be safer there. The other part of her doesn't want him to go, wants him to be in her sight as much as possible. She won't be able to stay with him as much if he goes out there, but he hasn't really asked her to go with him anyway. This is where things get hazy for them; the line between where they are and where they are going is still unknown to her. That's a conversation that needs to happen, and it needs to happen soon.

The day of his evaluation she reluctantly has to leave him to go to the precinct. Ryan had called to tell her that their new captain was starting and the entire precinct was to be present for a meeting. She kisses him on the cheek before she leaves, he stills her before she can pull back and brings her lips to his for a soft kiss. His kisses still rapidly increase her heart rate and she pulls away with a smile. With a promise that she will see him later she heads out the door as the nurse comes in to take him for the evaluation. If all goes well and he is released she hopes to be back in time to be there with him. If he will allow her, she will be there for every step of this, will be there for him for the rest of their lives.

Castle's evaluation goes well and after several tests he is ushered back to him room to await release papers and his final instructions from his doctor. Kate has already gathered all of his things into a bag so he has nothing to do but relax while he waits. When Dr. Davidson finally enters his room, he looks up with a smile, prepared to thank the doctor for all he has done for him. He was never a huge fan of the guy mainly due to the fact that he was dating Kate but he has saved his life and all grudges he held for the man have slowly dissolved away. He hasn't seen a reaction from him after hearing that he and Kate broke up, but he thinks the man has just accepted that Kate's heart lies somewhere else. Josh, on the other hand, has not accepted anything. The beginning of the conversation leaves no indication as to where it will lead and Castle has no time to prepare himself.

"Mr. Castle, I have looked over your charts and it seems you are well enough to go home. I've enclosed in this packet instructions for your rehab, wherever you chose to do it, and your next appointment."

Castle slowly stands to shake the doctor's hand, and is about to thank him for all he has done when he is cut off by the doctor's next words.

"You think you're something, don't you? Risk your life for hers so that she will fall into your arms and you'll live happily ever after? You're all out of ways to impress her and this is all you could come up with? You couldn't stand the fact that she was already in a relationship, couldn't just leave it alone, leave her alone? She's only doing this because she feels like she has to. She doesn't have feelings for you, she's just blinded by the situation. She thinks there is no other choice than to be with you because of what you did. She'll start to see it soon enough, will start to resent you. She didn't want to break up with me, you know? Said she was just doing what she had to do. So you just remember that when you are with her, remember who she really wants to be with. She'll tell you it's you because that's what she thinks she has to say, but it will all be a lie. Remember that."

He wants to scream, wants to yell, wants even more to lunge himself at the doctor but he can't do any of that, not just because he physically can't but because it's not who he is. He can't bring himself to do anything but stare at the doctor, and he knows that Josh registers the minute it really hits him, the doubt that she doesn't really love him. With a look of victory that Castle doesn't quite register, Josh flings the papers onto the bed and walks out of the room. Castle can only stand there now, his thoughts threatening to drown him. He didn't want to admit he had any doubts about her, about them, but the fact is he had wondered if she was just doing this because she felt obligated, couldn't get the thought out of his mind. She has reassured him she was in this before the cemetery, but now, he doesn't know what to believe. It is too much, the searing pain in his chest roaring to life stronger than ever, he needs to get out of here, has to get away from everything. He just needs to breathe.

The meeting at the precinct goes longer than Kate expected. The new captain is strict, to say the least, and she knows this will be nothing like what it was with Captain Montgomery. Captain Victoria Gates is known as none other than 'Iron Gates' and Kate can already see she holds that reputation well. Before she can leave she has to brief Gates on the case they are currently working and fill her in on who Castle is to the team. Gates makes it clear that she is not pleased about the fact that Castle shadows her team but seems to tolerate it for the time being given the situation. Kate manages to get approval for a few days off to help Castle settle wherever he chooses and it's mainly due to the fact that she never takes time off. When things get tough in her life she usually buries herself in her work, this time she refuses to allow herself to do that.

Finally, she is in her car, heading back to the hospital, when her phone rings - and she answers to find a distraught Martha on the other end.

"Katherine, did you pick Richard up already from the hospital? Alexis and I arrived to help him but he is already gone, the nurse says he checked out about twenty minutes ago."

Knowing that he couldn't drive himself, Kate's breath hitches as she tries to grab hold of what Martha is saying.

"No, Martha. I just left the precinct. I'm on my way to the hospital now, and I told him I would be back to be with him when he got released. How is he gone?"

"Something must have happened, this isn't like him, he wouldn't just check himself out and leave after getting shot in the chest. We have to find him. I've tried calling him, he's not answering."

"Martha, I'm sure he's okay. There's an explanation for this, you check around the hospital one more time and I'll meet you at the loft."

She remains calm on the phone, but the minute she hangs up, panic begins to set in. She bypasses the hospital, turning towards his loft in hopes that he will be there. When she had left him things were fine, he seemed to be in good spirits and she had promised him she would be back. She can't figure out what could have happened in the time she was away from him to make him do this. They were doing so well, finally making progress and shifting through the rubble of her walls. She doesn't want to go backwards, doesn't want to lose him. She thinks back over the events that have led them here, replays the last few days in her mind. And then it hits her, why it was too easy when she was breaking it off with him, why he didn't react when he saw her in the room with Castle. There is only one thing she can think of that would have had a chance to play out while she was away from him, one thought that has her turning her car around and heading back towards the hospital. She won't lose him now, won't let this stop them from the ending they deserve. She will fix this, right after she deals with a certain doctor.

She tries calling Castle's phone multiple times on her drive back to the hospital, she just needs to hear his voice, needs know he is okay. That's not really fair, of course he isn't okay, he's in pain and if what she thinks has happened has really happened then he's in pain in more ways than one. He's not answering, and she tosses the phone into the passenger seat, frustrated, as the angry tears begin to form in her eyes. She enters the hospital on a mission, makes her way to her intended target far faster than she realizes and as she turns the corner, there he is, sitting in his office with a smug look on his face that she instantly wants to smack off. She'll be damned if she goes easy on him now, he saved Castle's life but what he's done now is totally unacceptable. She doesn't even know the extent of what he's done yet but the look on his face says it all. Castle is currently MIA and he plays a major role in it.

She doesn't bother to knock, he should be waiting for this by now anyway, Kate Beckett doesn't play nice, she never has and she certainly isn't now. She barrels through the door with enough force to knock it off its hinges, and the anger rips out of her as she utters the words,

"Josh, what have you done?"