Disclaimer: Will never own them, but they won't get out of my head so I write about them instead :)

Chapter 6: Blame

The expression on Josh's face as he looks up serves as all the confirmation she needs. This thing with her and Castle has never been easy but none of them need this added stress. Josh has crossed a line; she never thought he would do anything like this, but the universe seems to enjoy testing them.

"What did you say to Castle?" She demands an answer from him. He's going to tell her exactly what he said to him and then, after she puts him in his place, she's going to find Castle and fix this.

"Everything you're thinking but will never say. You're only doing this because of what he did, Kate. If the feelings you claim to have for him are really that strong you would have broken up with me long before this. It's better this way, he needed to know the truth and now you don't have to pretend, now you can just be with me. If anything you should be thanking me. I did you a favor."

She's never been this infuriated in her life; she's not even sure she can respond to him without drawing the attention of the entire hospital.

"You did me a favor?" She spits the words out as she takes a step towards him. "Is that how you are justifying this to yourself? What the hell were you thinking? This is my life, mine, you don't get to decide anything. These are my choices to make. You are way out of line here, Josh. I can't even believe you did this. I may have deserved some type of retaliation but Castle certainly didn't, not after everything he's been through, not at all actually. Yes he loves me, but he didn't force me to love him back. I am sorry that I wasn't honest with you from the beginning about my feelings but it's done now. We are over, got it?"

She had initially felt bad about the way she had ended things with Josh, but she's so beyond upset now that the man before her holds no resemblance to the one she had once cared about. She had never loved him, although she had tried; he had been good to her while they were together. She had become convinced, after her mom was killed, that happy endings didn't exist, made herself believe that hers would never come. Castle had brought hope back to her life. He had taught her that life can be so much more. He showed her that the light at the end of the tunnel is always there, and, no matter how far you are from it, you just need to look forward to see it.

Josh is on his feet, and moving towards her now. She's not sure what to do, not sure what he is about to do.

"Kate, please, don't do this. Don't walk away from us. We were good together, we can be even better. Stop lying to yourself and let Castle go. I've already done the hard part, the rest is easy."

He's right in front of her now, inches from her face, and before she can register what he is going to do his lips are grazing hers.

She pushes him back before the kiss can deepen, using more force than she intended. The door handle juts into his back, and his eyes widen in surprise, and hurt. And then it's her turn to be in his face.

"What the hell Josh? How could you even possibly think that I would be okay with that?"

"Kate, I just thought that, maybe if I kissed you, you would realize you still want me."

"How could I still want you after what you've done? You've hurt the most caring man I know. You need to listen and listen close, we are over. Don't touch me again, stay out of my life, and leave Castle alone. I am going to try to find him and fix this - and you better hope that I can."

She throws him a glare that could give anyone chills and storms from his office. She races to her car, desperate to find the man she loves.

She still can believe the events of the last few days. Her entire world has been turned upside down, and the only thing that was turning it back around was the hope that her and Castle were finally going to be together. Now even that is screwed up and she's not sure how much more she can take. The hope dissipates with each second she is away from Castle. She's not even sure Castle will listen to her now; he obviously isn't thinking straight, because she can't imagine him listening to Josh otherwise. She just hopes she can find him before he convinces himself that she really doesn't love him.

She makes it to the loft in record time, doesn't really care that she may have abused her position as a police officer to do so. He means more to her than anything right now and finding him is her top priority. She's hopeful that this is where he has gone, but one look at Martha's face when she opens the door diminishes any remaining hope. Her heart sinks as she enters the loft; she knows she should tell Martha and Alexis what happened between Castle and Josh but she can't bring herself to do so. She can't handle any more disappointment right now. This is her fault and she will own up to it, right after she finds him.

It's clear that he hasn't been to the loft. Nothing has been moved or taken and his cars are still in the parking garage. They've checked with the front desk of the building and no one has seen him. Alexis has called everywhere and everyone she can think of, to no avail. Martha is pacing the loft and Kate is at a loss for what to do next. If Alexis couldn't find anyone that's seen him, she's not sure there's much hope for her. Now she is really starting to worry, not only did he leave the hospital upset and injured, he also managed to ditch the protective detail they had on him. The person that shot him is still on the loose and Castle is out there somewhere in a condition that is entirely her fault. If anything happens to him now she will never forgive herself.

Meanwhile, several blocks away, a masked man sits in an undisclosed location, with a perfect view of the city. While he missed his intended mark the first time, he is pleased with the way things have turned out. The writer has been in the way for far too long now and he only wishes he had taken him out completely. Looking out at the busy street, something catches his attention and he leans forward to have a closer look. The smirk on his face grows to a full grin as he realizes who is currently limping right into his path. There is no denying who it is, the pain clearly written on his face as he moves. This could be his chance to remove Richard Castle from the equation once and for all.

A/N: Before you plot to kill me in some creative way, let me start by saying there will be no character death, and that Chapter 7 is almost finished and will most likely be posted tomorrow! It will be from Castle's pov so you will get some perspective on how he is feeling right now. Thank you again for the amazing response to this story. I have some great ideas on where I am taking it and I am excited to bring you along for the journey! Stick with me, it will be worth it! :) As always thank you to my beta, Bec, she keeps me on track and sane, although her sanity may be wavering when this story finishes, lol. I am forever thankful to her for sticking with me!