"So where are we going?"
"I am taking you to a hotel, so you can sleep, that's where we're going." Talking to Pete had returned sanity to Helena's brain somehow. Reminded her that tonight was about a lot more than just Myka being drunk and in a compromising situation, and it was about a lot more than just the two of them. Tonight was about their whole family, and how broken it was. It was about the fact that Myka was hurting so badly that she had escaped into a bottle, and didn't let any of them know where she was going. Her feelings for Myka were not important tonight, they couldn't be.
She maneuvered Myka to the car, and was thankfully able to get her in and buckled without so much as one word of complaint. The hotel was only a few minutes away, which was a good thing, because Myka apparently was not going to make focusing on reality easy tonight. The second Helena started the car, Myka put her hand on her knee, and kept it there, gently easing her fingers along her leg the entire time they drove. Helena was lucky there was no one else on the road, because the haze Myka's touch was causing, was seriously beginning to impair her ability to drive in a straight line. She pulled into a spot in the hotel parking lot, and extracted herself from the car as quickly as possible, not giving Myka a chance to see the look on her face, or get one word in. She practically ran into the lobby, with Myka following her as best she could on still wobbly feet.
"One room please." The look on the attendant's face spoke volumes for how this whole thing must have looked. Myka, clearly drunk hanging on Helena's arm, looking far more attractive than she should, after a night of dancing and drinking, and Helena seeming calm and collected booking them into one room. "It seems my friend has had a bit too much to drink this evening, and needs a place to sleep it off."
"Right. Whatever you say ladies. Room 213. I just need a credit card."
Helena quickly handed over the card Artie had given her for Warehouse expenses, praying that they could get this over fast. The attendant gave her back the card, "Checkout is at noon." She grabbed the keys and got Myka over to the elevator.
"That guy was looking at us funny," Myka giggled.
"Because you're drunk darling, and he clearly thinks that I've brought you here to take advantage of that fact." She tried so hard to sound matter of fact, but her voice caught in her throat, feeling her resolve slipping for the millionth time that night. The elevator binged and they stepped in.
Before she could even hit the button for the second floor, Myka had her pressed against the wall of the elevator, and whispered, "Well, aren't you going to?" Her breath falling far too close to Helena's ear, so that there was no way she could control the involuntary shudder that passed over her body. She fumbled to push the button for their floor, barely successful, with Myka pressed so hard against her.
As the elevator started to move, Helena turned back towards Myka, looking into eyes that were so soaked with longing that every nerve in Helena's body was straining to just close the gap between them and kiss her already. "No, I'm not going to." She wanted to sound strong, confident, but it came out as a whisper, like the weakness in her knees translated into words. There would be no way for Myka to miss how close she was to falling off the cliff.
The elevator reached their floor, and the sensation of the car stopping was enough to unbalance Myka so that Helena could escape her grasp, and get out into the hall. Their room was right across from the elevator, and as quickly as she could she got the door open, and practically collapsed into the room.
Myka followed quickly behind her, not willing to let up. "What do you mean no?" She grabbed for Helena's hand, and was able to just catch her by the fingertips, and spin her around. "I saw how you looked at me earlier, when you were dancing with me. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want me."
Helena took a deep, shuddering breath, allowing herself to push a curl that had fallen over Myka's eyes behind her ear. She had to do this carefully or everything would come crashing down around her, and she would lose any semblance of a chance she ever had with Myka. "Myka," God she wished her voice sounded stronger, but it just sounded quiet and passion-soaked. "There is nothing in this world that I want more than you." Myka took that as an invitation to pull her closer, but Helena was ready for it and pulled back, "but, you are drunk. You don't know what you're doing, or what you're saying, and the last thing I want is to have you like this, where I can't be sure you actually want me, or it's just the alcohol talking and you only want a distraction."
Now it was Myka's turn to roll her eyes, "I may be drunk, but I'm not drunk enough to forget that I want this. That I want you, that every time I see you, I want you. That I want you every time you touch me when you think I might not notice, when really it makes every inch of me go numb."
This was too much. She was saying everything that Helena wanted to hear, but she really, really didn't want her first time with Myka to be like this. She didn't want them to be together, only because Myka needed to not feel the pain of Steve's loss. She turned away from her, releasing her hands from the heat of Myka's touch, "Please, God, please don't say that to me, I can't take it. Myka, you're upset about Steve, we all are, and if this happens, I will always wonder if it was only because you were in so much pain you collapsed into me so you didn't have to feel anything."
She didn't know what she expected Myka to say, but the last thing she expected was for her to start yelling, "So I don't want to feel anything, so what?! Steve is dead Helena, and all I keep thinking about is all the things I didn't say to him, all the things Claudia and he hadn't done together yet, all the things we're all going to miss out on because we were too stupid or too busy or hell, too indifferent to do them because we thought there would always be more time, when the reality was it was already too late. The Warehouse and all it's endless wonder makes you think you have all the time in the world, for everything, when in reality it's the thing that makes all the time you have precious because it might take it away in an instant, when you touch the wrong artifact or piss off the wrong person. It's too much Helena, it's too much to lose. So is it so wrong of me, to want you right here, right now, regardless of how many drinks I've had, because I'm so afraid that the more I wait, the more I let myself think I don't feel this way about you, eventually it will just be too late, and I'll lose you too, before I ever had a chance to do anything about the fact that every second of everyday I want to be with you."
She was so torn, torn between wanting to just throw caution to the wind and give in, to decide that right here and now in this moment, they could be happy and safe, regardless of the consequences, and wanting to scream at Myka for waiting until tonight to say these things, for it taking copious amounts of alcohol for her to finally admit these things to her, forcing her to doubt everything. She didn't expect it to, but anger won out. "Then why haven't you said anything Myka? If you were so sure how I felt about you, if you felt this strongly for me, then why did it take an entire bottle of gin to tell me. Why did it take me driving out in the middle of the night to pull you out of the arms of ten different men, to get you to actually fall into mine. Why now? Why tonight? Jesus, why did you have to be drunk to finally tell me everything I wanted to hear?" Fuck, now she was crying. She didn't even realize it until her voice cracked and it was too late to stop. She was so tired, she felt like there was a hole in her, and that it was growing so quickly she was going to fall through it and never come out. She was numb, and hollow, and so torn between desire and pain that she felt like she might tear in two. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She and Myka weren't supposed to happen because one of them was drunk, or because one of their family was gone, or because they were in pain, or because they were afraid of what would happen if they didn't try. It was supposed to happen because they wanted each other so badly that nothing else mattered. It was supposed to happen because they were tired of denying that they wanted nothing else but the other by their side all the time. How on earth did they get here? An hour ago, Myka had her in her arms, dancing like a fool and she was happy, and now they were in a hotel room screaming at each other. She pressed the heels of her hands into her eyes, willing the tears to stop, willing her strength back. All fruitless efforts with Myka standing in front of her, Myka who made her weak and wanting and whole all at the same time.
The tears glistening down Helena's cheeks were enough to put a check on Myka's anger, and provided a strong enough dose of reality to make the alcohol slowly start to ebb away. She stepped towards her, slowly, gently wiping away one of the tears lingering on Helena's jaw line. Seeing Helena vulnerable was strange and slightly mind-bending. She always appeared so calm and put together, quick with a sharp comment and a reason for everything, but this, this was a side of Helena she had only glimpsed on scant occasions. When she spoke, for the first time all night, she actually sounded like herself, and the change wasn't lost on Helena. "Because I was scared. It's a terrible reason, but it's the only truth I can give you. I felt it the second I first saw you, fear and hopeless abandon all rolled into one. I, in an instant, wanted to run away from you and run into your arms all at once. I can't explain it, but I knew I was in horrible danger of falling for you, and from that moment on I've been terrified. Terrified with every moment we spent together where I couldn't stop looking at you. Terrified every time you would let your fingers linger over mine when they didn't need to. Terrified that for the first time in a long time I might feel something this deep for someone. And worse yet, terrified that there was no possible way you could feel the same way for me. And then between ya know the near world-endings and the holograms and the insanity of what we do, there just never seemed a right time." The slight whisper of a laugh that breathed across Myka's lips made Helena's skin tingle, but she didn't interrupt her, needing to hear what else she had to say. "And once I admitted to myself how I felt about you, then I started running through everything that could go wrong. Just look what happened to Steve, just look at the pain that Claudia is going through. If…if that happened to you," her voice broke, "I wouldn't be able to handle it." She paused, just long enough for Helena to think she was done, but she took a deep breath and continued, "But then, when I saw you walk in tonight…it just kind of hit me, what I could miss if I kept wasting time and running away out of fear. You came to find me in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere, when I was in no fit position to be found, and you, you rescued me in a way. You walked in all beautiful and determined, and I just felt it, deep down that I had to stop worrying about what might happen, and focus on the amazing thing that was standing right in front of me."
She didn't know at what point it had happened, but their hands were once again entwined, hanging at their sides. Myka was standing so close to her that their foreheads were touching, and her last words had practically been whispered right onto Helena's lips. She knew she should pull away, leave this for the morning, when there could be no question of judgment or reason, but hadn't Myka just told her she was tired of wasting time? What if the morning didn't come soon enough? What if there was no more perfect moment for this to happen between them than now? All those thoughts of restraint and cooler heads that had filled her mind mere hours ago, were starting to drift away through Myka's touch. "Myka…" she could barely say her name without shuddering.
"Yeah," Myka tantalizingly wetting her lips after she spoke, and in that one action all of Helena's self-control went out the window.
"How drunk are you really?" She didn't want to ask, but she had to. The one last vestige of restraint in her, had to make sure.
"Barely. I come down quickly." Myka's breath was coming in ever-quicking gasps, if Helena stood any closer, she might just melt into the floor. Her heart was pounding in her chest, and she was thankful that she was, in fact, sober enough to keep her knees from giving out underneath her.
"Then kiss me…" She couldn't stand it anymore, the waiting, the feel of Myka's skin against hers. She said a silent prayer that Myka was indeed as sober as she claimed and now seemed, and then let go of every thought in her mind that wasn't about Myka.
Myka's entire mind went fuzzy, Helena's words were so filled with longing and desire she almost couldn't bear it, for wanting her so badly. She wanted to make this count, to make Helena know for certain that everything she had just said was real, she had to make her feel how much she, "don't even think it" her mind warned, loved her. Slowly, she untangled her hands from Helena's and ran fingers along her cheeks, seeking to caress away any more doubts Helena might harbor. She wound her hands into her hair, and drew Helena closer to her, barely allowing their lips to touch at first, merely savoring the feel of finally having Helena this close. She could feel Helena's hands trembling as they came to rest on her hips, clenching ever so slightly, making Myka gasp, and, as she assumed Helena wanted, dive in deeper. Her intentionality fled, and she crashed into Helena's lips, reveling in the soft moan that came from the back of Helena's throat. She didn't know she could want someone this badly, and yet from the moment their lips touched, Myka realized she would never, ever have enough of Helena. She wanted to drown in her, to take in every single inch, every freckle, every scar, every single spot that would make her whimper, but for now her lips were enough. With a subtle urgency, she coaxed Helena's lips wider, giving her permission to kiss her in the way she deserved to be kissed, with passion, with depth, with fervor, with attention to her needs, with enough desire to let her know how badly she was wanted. Teasingly, she let her tongue run along the edge of her upper lip, then her teeth, feeling Helena trying so hard to pull her in, trying to tease her own way into Myka, but she put up a good fight, wanting to savor her chance to have Helena at her mercy.
Helena could feel the smile twitching on the edge of Myka's lips, it was maddeningly sexy, to have Myka letting herself within reach, but holding just a little back, leaving her wanting more with every passing second. Finally, she pulled away just enough to whisper, "Myka I swear to God if you keep teasing me I might pass out from wanting you."
"Is that a threat, Miss Wells?"
Helena let out a deep sigh, "Maybe…do you want it to be?"
God, she didn't think Helena was capable of being sexier, and yet the teasing in her voice, the slight growl behind her words, made Myka want to throw her onto the bed, and tear her clothes off, but she knew better than that. She knew she wanted more than that tonight. She didn't want something frantic and hasty, but something slow and intentional. To hell with how tired she was, to hell with what time it was, to hell with everything that wasn't Helena. She collapsed into Helena's lips, no longer teasing her, but allowing her tongue to freely play off her own, feeling the little nips that Helena gave to her bottom lip, the ticklish way she ran her tongue along the roof of her mouth, the way every time Myka's tongue touched hers she would moan. It was ecstasy.
It was clear that Myka was done holding back, and feeling the heat of her lips, the way her hands kept gripping a little bit tighter in Helena's hair, the way she was holding her like she would never let her go, made her want to die, for surely there was no better way to go then in her arms, with her lips on yours, feeling the slight tickle of her tongue against your lip. It was too much, too much feeling for one person, and soon it was no longer good enough to just be holding onto her, she needed to feel her in every nerve and muscle. She couldn't help herself, she used her leverage against Myka's waist, and pushed her against the wall, making the pictures that were hanging there shake precariously. She'd always wondered just what Myka felt like, and she wasn't going to wait any longer, she slid her hands underneath where Myka's t-shirt clung to her hips and scraped her nails along skin that was far softer than she ever imagined it being. She felt the goosebumps rise up underneath her fingers, as Myka arched her back at the contact, pressing herself even harder into Helena's body. She ran her fingertips up Myka's sides, her thumbs gently grazing the edge of the defined muscles of her stomach. She had known Myka was strong, but the muscles that she felt rippling below the surface of her skin were harder than she expected, somehow making Myka sexier than ever before. She broke away from her, pulling her bottom lip with her teeth as they broke apart. Myka's eyes fluttered beneath her closed lids. She leaned in, being sure to press her hips ever so slightly against Myka's, and whispered in her ear, "I have dreamt of touching you since the first time you locked me in handcuffs…" Myka took a shuddering breath trying to figure out how on earth to respond to something like that. She remembered the moment vividly, because it was only a few minutes later that Helena had managed to trap her and Pete on the ceiling, but that wasn't what she remembered most, what she remembered was what she whispered back to Helena. "I knew you wanted me…you think I didn't notice the way you ran your fingers across my wrist when I locked the cuffs?" She untangled her hands from Helena's hair, and reached down to where hands were running against her skin, grabbing her wrist in the same way that Helena had done to her so long ago, "You aren't exactly subtle, ya know?"
"When it comes to you, I find it insanely difficult to be subtle darling." She punctuated each phrase with a graze of her tongue along Myka's ear, making her grasp her wrists harder, and she could feel her pulse skipping, as she moved her tongue down Myka's neck, alternating kisses and small nips, as she moved down to her collarbone. "You have no idea what you do to me," she whispered into her neck, before biting down ever so slightly, marking Myka as her own.
Helena's breath against her neck, the pain and pleasure mixed together as she bit down on her collarbone, made Myka no longer happy that Helena was the only one getting the pleasure of feeling skin underneath her fingers. She released her hold on Helena's wrists, and let her hands wander underneath the jacket and the button-up shirt that Helena was wearing, letting her fingernails ever so slightly graze down her back, relishing the feel of her skin, and the way the contact made her moan. Helena was wearing far too many clothes. She only allowed a second for her hands to leave Helena's body, and yanked her jacket free of her shoulders, letting it slide down to her feet where she kicked it aside. Her brain was starting to go fuzzy from the sensation of Helena kissing, licking, and biting her way up and down her jawline, from collarbone to neck to jaw to ear, barely giving Myka a chance to catch her breath. She felt giddy and nervous. This was what she had dreamed of on more occasions than she could count, but now that they were here, actually together, she worried she wouldn't know what she was doing. It was a fleeting thought, chased away by a particularly aggressive bite against her earlobe. Helena's insistence forced words out of her mouth, "You…are wearing…far too…many clothes." It came out in fits and starts, breathy, and barely under control.
"What are you going to do about that Agent Bering?"
She rolled her eyes in odd pleasure at Helena calling her that, and then guided her hands to the buttons of Helena's shirt. One by one, she undid them, and smirked as with each button Helena lost her focus, unable to keep kissing her while Myka's hands were so close to her body. As she reached, the third button, she allowed her fingers to just barely slide against the lacy material of Helena's bra, touching her just enough for Helena to go limp against her for a moment. Her hands were now simply resting against Myka's arms, unable to move until every last button was undone, and she slowly slid it down off of her body. She allowed herself a chance to just take Helena in, standing in front of her eyes closed, lips slightly parted, her jeans resting perfectly on her hips, the light blue of her bra barely concealing the skin beneath. "You're beautiful," she whispered, it was practically involuntary, but staring at Helena like this, it was all she could think.
It was enough to make Helena open her eyes, smiling ever so slightly, as she looked up at Myka. For so much of her life, she had felt like nothing, trapped amongst a world of people who could never understand her, always having to fight to be heard, to be respected, and never quite having anyone who saw her completely, until now, until Myka. In her she had found someone, who somehow, just understood, who she was in all her faults, in all her pain and anguish, and in all of her desire to be loved. Looking at her like this, feeling herself so laid bare in front of her, she couldn't help herself, and Myka could see it in her eyes.
"What's wrong?" She ran her hands up Helena's arms and down her back, relishing every freckle, every inch of her.
"Nothing, absolutely nothing, it's just…"
"It's just what?" She kissed her, lightly, "Helena tell me."
"I…I shouldn't."
Myka pulled her closer, kissed her again, "Tell me…"
"Myka, I…I can't believe I'm saying this, but I love you." She immediately closed her eyes, so she didn't have to see Myka's reaction, almost ashamed that she'd let herself say it so soon, it was too soon.
She felt Myka's finger underneath her chin, gently urging her face up to look at her, "Hey…Helena…Helena look at me." She didn't want to, but she opened her eyes, and there was Myka, green eyes glistening, a smile splayed across her lips, "I love you too…you don't have to look so scared. I have loved you for so long I don't even remember when I realized it, but I do Helena, I love you in ways I didn't even know were possible." And when she leaned down to kiss her Helena lost the ability to feel or think, nothing in this world existed except her and Myka. She didn't even know when or how she managed to bring herself to remove Myka's t-shirt, but before she knew it, it was gone, and Myka was guiding her away from the wall, and slowly, carefully, lowering her onto the bed. When this night started the last place that she expected herself to be was laid out on a bed, half dressed, with Myka leaning over her, forearms on either side of her head, knees nestled against her hips, her dark brown curls framing her face, dangling just enough to tickle Helena's chin, yet here they were. The urgency that had once been there, had ebbed, Myka was taking her time, slowly placing kisses over ever inch of her, her neck, her cheeks, her eyelids, the small indent where you could feel her ribs give way to her abs, the dip of her hip, no part of her was left untended.
She never imagined Helena having so many freckles, but she found them in the most unlikely of places, below her hip, behind her ear, small, subtle, beautiful. She felt like with every kiss she was trying to wash away every year of pain that Helena had endured, every heartbreak, every loss, every bad decision made in anger, every regret, everything that she knew laid layers of scars over her heart, to the point that she was afraid to feel anymore. Myka wanted her to know that with her she was allowed to feel anything and everything she wanted, she didn't have to fear rejection, or hurt, or judgment, with her she could just be Helena, that would always be enough for her. On a night when they were both feeling so much pain, she wanted to remind them both that there could be joy, there could be love, even in the midst of the agony. Helena's hands were flowing over her body, just her fingertips, tracing line after line, over every muscle, every scar that marked her body from one too many years of facing gun fire, every inch of her that hadn't been touched like this in so long, if ever really, because the way Helena touched her was different. It wasn't just contact made out of wanting, it felt as though she was trying to memorize her, worshipping each part of her, making it feel like she wanted to remember every second of every minute she was able to touch her. She wasn't sure what made her say it, maybe it was the slowness with which they were moving together, maybe it was the twinge in the back of her mind reminding her of Steve, maybe it was the sun creeping through the curtains reminding her that morning was coming, but suddenly it just came out unbidden, "Helena…" she lifted herself back up onto her elbows, gently running her fingers through Helena's hair, pushing it away from her eyes.
"Yes darling…"
Her eyes were so dark, she felt like she could drown in them. They almost felt magical, the way that all at once they conveyed remarkable intelligence, mischief, desire, and adoration; she could have stared at Helena just like this for hours, savoring every breath, every tiny movement, every smirk. "I…I can't believe I'm going to say this, but, but I don't want this, us, to happen here, in some weird hotel in the middle of the city that you had to get to because I was slightly out of my mind." Fear flashed across Helena's eyes, it happened quickly, but she saw it, "Don't for one second think that this has anything to do with me having consumed more alcohol than I should have, that I want to stop because I won't remember, trust me, I will remember every second of this night for the rest of my days, and don't think it's because I don't want this. I want this more than I ever imagined possible. God, maybe I'm an idiot," she felt her eyes give an involuntary roll at how crazy she sounded, "but, I want you in our home, in my bed, in a room that feels like ours, where I don't have to worry about the fact that morning is coming and we have to leave. I want to be able to take my time with you, not worried some housekeeper is going to come knocking on the door at any moment. This, us, I want…I want to do it right." She hung her head down, shaking it slightly, barely able to believe that she had actually just said any of that. She's sitting here, straddling Helena, and she's asking to stop. What was wrong with her?
This time it was Helena's turn to force her chin up to look at her, "You, Myka Bering, are an extraordinary woman, and I would wait for you until the end of time if that's what you asked me to do. However, why exactly do you get to have me, in your bed? What if I want you in mine?" There was that devilish smirk that always brought Myka up short, forcing her to bite her lip, as she felt a blush creep up her cheeks.
"Well, maybe that part is negotiable…maybe, but there is something unbelievable sexy about thinking of you just like this but laying up against my pillows."
"Never in my entire life would I have expected those words to come out of your mouth…It almost makes me like the idea of you bossing me around."
Now it was Myka's turn to smirk, "What can I say, I know what I want."
"And what exactly is it that you want, Myka?"
Helena watched as in an instant Myka's eyes darkened, hazing over with a passion and a determination she had never seen before, "You. All of you. Nothing more, nothing less than you with me wherever I go. I want you to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and the last thing I see at night. I want you, Helena."
"If you haven't noticed my dear, I'm already yours, I always have been." She reached up and placed her hand on the back of Myka's neck, slowly pulling her down into a kiss that made the world disappear. Lights flashed behind Myka's eyes at the intensity, the passion that was exuding from Helena's body. When she pulled away, if only because she needed to breathe, Helena's eyes were still closed. It was a moment of pure perfection, just the two of them, and Helena looking more beautiful than any human being had a right to be. She couldn't help herself, she placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose, and whispered against her skin, "I love you."
Helena's eyes opened, and she tucked a wayward curl behind Myka's ear, "I love you too."
Myka finally allowed herself to move, though she didn't want the spell that she felt was hanging over them to break. Helena moved her arm, providing just enough space for her to curl up into the crook of her shoulder. Until that moment she hadn't realized how tired she actually was, and when she looked at the clock realizing that it was practically morning, it dawned on her that she had been up for almost 24 hours. She tried desperately to stifle a yawn, but she couldn't help herself, Helena's fingers were tracing up and down her arm, and their skin against each other was so warm, it was so peaceful and perfect, it was lulling her into sleep. Helena kissed her curls, "My dear, I think it is high time I let you get some sleep."
"You didn't by any chance bring anything for me to sleep in did you?"
"Damn, no. I left so quickly, and I had imagined driving back to the B&B rather than staying over, I didn't even think about it."
"I think I can manage, don't worry." Myka sprung off the bed, and found the place where Helena had peeled off her shirt, bending down to retrieve it, she reached behind her back to unclasp her bra, letting it slip off her body, slower than she usually would, but she could feel Helena's eyes boring into her back, and she couldn't resist a little bit of torture. She slipped her shirt back over her head, and quickly slinked out of her jeans, socks, and boots that somehow were still on her feet. "I think this will suffice don't you think?" All Helena could do was nod, words completely escaping her. Myka slithered back into bed, climbing under the covers, as best she could with Helena still laying on top of them. "What about you though? What are you going to sleep in?"
"I think I can take a cue from you actually." Helena was slower to move from the bed, unsure that her legs would hold her, as they had gone fairly numb at the sight of Myka undressing before her eyes. Suddenly, she felt shy, a rare feeling for her, but it was there nonetheless. She gathered her button down from the floor, feeling a blush creeping up her cheeks, she turned her back to Myka to remove the rest of her clothing. She slipped her shirt over her shoulders, only bothering to button a few buttons, so she was completed restricted by them in her sleep. She was much quicker about undressing than Myka had been, goosebumps covering her body, as she felt Myka's eyes on her with every move she made. She threw her jeans in a ball on the floor, and crawled into bed, Myka lifting up the covers enough to give her room to cuddle up next to her. They laid facing each other, hands idly clasped together, legs tangled up in each other, neither seeming to want to sleep, yet feeling it's weight pressing down on them. Before allowing herself to give into her exhaustion, Myka whispered one last thing into Helena's lips, "Thank you for saving me."
"I would hardly call dragging you out of a bar saving you darling."
"I don't just mean tonight…though I do, indeed, think it qualifies." Myka propped herself up on one elbow, determined to get this one last thing in before she closed her eyes. "For so long, after Sam, I felt like I was lost. I buried myself in work, and swore I would never allow anything in my life to get out of control again. I was on the brink of completely and totally shutting myself off from the world, from feeling, from anything other than what I could manage and control, and then there you were. You walked into my life, and you saved me. You pulled me back from the edge I was dangerously close to falling off of, and I can't say thank you enough for that, Helena."
"We saved each other, I think. Myka, you were the only person in the entire world that was capable of stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life, it was you standing in front of me that made me stop before I destroyed everything. My heart was so full of hate, and regret, and fear, and yet, you with all of your wonderful ways were able to slowly start to erase all that. Every time you looked at me, every time our hands touched, I felt a layer of pain ebbing away. Every time you actually cared about what I thought or how I felt, I knew life could actually be worth living. If I was able to save you, it was only because you were in the process of saving me too."
Myka leaned down, a small smile playing across her lips, and kissed her. It was soft, slow, and simple, but somehow more passion-filled than anything else that had shared that night. When they broke apart, something clicked in Myka's mind, and she hopped out of bed, making Helena think something was wrong, "What are you doing?" She heard the door to their room open up, and for a split second she thought Myka was leaving, she sat up, "Myka, what on earth are you doing out there?"
She came back into view, after a click of the door, "I put the do not disturb sign on the door, is all. I figured, if we actually have any hope of getting a small amount of sleep, we don't need some crazy housekeeper banging on the door earlier than we would like."
"Ah, excellent thought."
Myka crawled back into bed, and picked up her cell phone from the nightstand, unsure of how on earth it actually had gotten there. "What do you think? That guy said we have to check out at, what, noon? So, if I set an alarm for 11, will that give us enough time?" Helena was looking at her with the strangest look on her face, like she was totally amused, "What? What time do you want to get up?" she asked incredulously.
Helena chuckled, "11 is fine darling, I was laughing because this conversation is so blissfully normal. I can't say I ever expected to have you asking me what time our alarm needed to be set, or that I would have you crawling into bed next to me. It's just so…I have no better word than normal. I had begun to think Warehouse agents don't get that in their lives anymore."
Myka swooped down to give her a quick peck on the lips, "Well, right now they do." She winked at her, in a devilishly sexy way, "11 it is." She put her cell phone back on the nightstand, and collapsed down into the pillows, laying so that she could face Helena for a few more seconds before sleep engulfed her. "Can I still say good night even though technically it's morning?"
"I think so."
She kissed her once more, "Then good night."
"Good night my love." Helena rolled over then, and Myka fit perfectly around her. It felt like their bodies were made for each other. Myka nestled into Helena, placing a small kiss on the back of her neck, before taking one last contented sigh and drifting off at last.