A/N: I am still overwhelmed at the response this story has received! Thank you for your amazing support and reviews! Keep in mind that this story is going to take our characters to some places they have never been on the show. While I am trying to keep them as 'in character' as possible, I have to go with how I feel they would react on some of it. No spoilers here but when you get to the end of this one, just relax because I have already written chapter 11. :)

Disclaimer: Still own nothing, always waiting to be discovered.

Chapter 10: Frustration

That night she sleeps better than she has in days. The progress she has made with Castle, and the warm weight of him next to her, are all it takes to lull her into a deep sleep. Castle sleeps soundly next to her and, for the first night since he was shot, he forgets the pain. At some point during the night their hands become tangled together, both seeking that connection that will anchor them. She wakes early the next morning and she takes a moment to thank a higher power for where they are right now. She carefully removes her hand from his and slips out of the bed without waking him.

It's quiet in the loft as she makes her way around his kitchen, preparing coffee and breakfast for him when he wakes. She feels at home here, like she belongs, and it's partly due to how welcoming his family has been. Martha had explained things to Alexis and both women seemed to have forgiven her for waiting so long to pursue Castle. She's been given a second chance, they've been given a second chance, and she's not going to take it for granted. She finishes making breakfast and arranges it along with his coffee and pain meds on a tray before quietly carrying it back to his room.

He's just starting to stir as she places the tray on the table by his bed and she's greeted with a bright smile as his blue eyes flash open and focus on her. It's that smile and that look that causes her knees to go weak; he's such a beautiful man. She leans in and kisses his cheek before helping him into a sitting position. The pain flashes in his eyes and he grips her a little tighter as he finally eases back against the headboard. Seeing him in pain is torture for her, she wishes she could ease it for him. He remains tense for a few minutes and she softly caresses his arm until he relaxes a little and gives her another smile. She leans in and presses her lips to his, whispering, "Good morning," before pulling back.

"Good morning to you too, beautiful. How long have you been up?"

"Not long. I wanted to make you breakfast and coffee and have it ready before you woke up."

He smiles again and reaches down to take her hand.

"Thank you, Kate. I've been bringing you coffee and breakfast for years, it's strange to have the role reversed."

"Well it's the least I could do for what you have done for me."

"Kate, we have already talked about this, you don't owe me anything. I don't want you to think that you have to do things for me for some type of payback."

"I know, Rick, I just hate to see you in so much pain, I want to help you any way I can, okay?"

"You have already helped me more than you know. The thing I wanted most has finally happened; I wanted you and you're here. That's all that I need."

"I'm here, you have me. I'm not going anywhere."

She leans forward to kiss him again, and lets out a soft moan when he deepens the kiss whimpering a little when it ends all too soon. She wants him in ways she can't explain and her need for him only intensifies each time they kiss. Her self-control is going to be put to the test over the next few months, and if the way he is looking at her is any indication, so is his. His recovery is their top priority though, they've waited this long, they can wait a little longer; she wants him to fully be able to participate when they finally take that step.

"Here, Castle, eat your breakfast and take your pain meds. I'm going to take a shower and I'll be back."

She places his tray over his lap and makes sure he has everything he needs before she leaves to take her shower. When she returns, his daughter has already taken his tray and cleaned up the kitchen before heading out to class. She makes her way back to his room and smiles as she enters. He dozed back off while sitting up, but he looks peaceful so she quietly leaves the room to keep from waking him. He's been sleeping a lot, but she knows it's just the medicine he's taking and his body trying to heal.

The week passes by quickly and things between her and Castle are going better than she imagined. They are talking more than they ever have and the bond between them is only growing stronger. She feels so at home here with him and his family that she can't imagine not being a part of it anymore. She hates that this is her last day off with him, she wants to be there for him for every part of his recovery but she needs to work, needs to find the asshole that shot him and put him behind bars. It's been easy to fall into the routine they have but the truth is that the shooter is still out there and neither of them are safe until he is found. He has his checkup appointment today and they are hoping for a good report. He's been moving around a little more and the pain seems to only come in waves as opposed to constantly. It's mainly when he moves around or stands for too long and she knows it's just going to be a slow process of healing.

She drives him to his appointment and holds onto him as they make their way inside. His appointment is with Dr. White, the cardiologist that he has been referred to. Dr. White will take over his care during his recovery and ensure that he is healing properly. She is thankful that they don't have to see Josh again, although she hasn't decided what she wants to do about him yet. He shouldn't get away with what he did to Castle, or to them. They sign in and wait for Castle's name to be called and a few minutes later an older man emerges from behind the door.

"Mr. Castle?"

She helps him stand and they follow the doctor into an exam room and Castle sits on the bed while she takes the chair next to him.

"I'm Dr. White, you've been referred to me by your surgeon Dr. Davidson. I'll be handling your recovery from here on out. I'm sorry for what's happened to you, how are you doing considering the circumstances?"

They both cringe at the mention of Josh but if Dr. White notices he doesn't react.

"Thank you, Doctor, I'm okay, considering. Lots of pain but that's to be expected. I've been sleeping a lot but the more I sleep the better I feel. The pain is more intense when I move around but it's not as bad as it was."

"Well that's good to hear, it sounds like you are healing properly. I have been over your medical records and it seems you were relatively healthy before the shooting so that helps a great deal. I want to run a few tests and check your vitals and then we can talk about the next steps in your recovery."

She steps out of the room to give him some privacy and reads a magazine while she waits for him to come out. It's not too long before he comes through the door and she smiles as they head back to her car. He's quiet on the ride home and although it's not like him to be that quiet she doesn't think much of it. They get back to the loft and he changes into some comfortable clothes before she helps him into the bed and goes to make them some lunch. When she returns he is waiting for her and she eases down beside him and hands him his plate. They eat silently for a few moments and then he begins speaking.

"So Dr. White said everything was looking good and that I was healing properly. He gave me a referral for a Cardiac Rehab center, and he also thought it would be a good idea to talk to a psychologist."

"That's good, Castle, rehab means you're healing like you're supposed to, and that just means we are one step closer to you being better. I think a psychologist's a good idea also, the emotional impact of what has happened has already affected you and it's bound to catch up with you again. I can go with you if you want me to, whatever you need from me, I'm here."

She thinks that the conversation is over and she rises to take their plates back to the kitchen when his next words stop her.

"I think I should do all of that at my house in the Hamptons. I was thinking about calling my car service and leaving in the morning. I think it will just be easier that way."

She feels all the air leave her body as she sinks back down on the bed. He had mentioned this before but she thought since things were going so well between them that he had changed his mind. She couldn't go with him to the Hamptons, she couldn't take that much time off of work, couldn't ignore this case for that long. What did this mean for them?

"Rick, I didn't think….I thought things were good with us, why do you want to leave?"

"Kate, things are good with us, it has nothing to do with that, okay? Alexis has class and mother has acting obligations and you have to work. I don't want to be a burden on anyone. I can get the car service to take me there and get set up with the rehab center there as well as a psychologist. This is going to be a long, slow process and I just feel like I would do much better out there in the quiet away from all the commotion of the city. It's only two hours from here and if you do get some time off I can have the car service come pick you up. Please don't make this a bigger deal than it is."

"Make this a bigger deal? Castle, you are going to be in the Hamptons, and I am going to be here. What does that mean for us? I don't want to be away from you for that long, I won't be able to get much time off to come out there, even with it being only two hours away. We are finally starting to get closer, this is only going to pull us back apart. I understand what you are saying but you can do all of that from here, you aren't a burden on anyone. I told you I was going to be here for you through this and you aren't giving me a chance to do that. I don't know how you expected me to react to this."

"Kate, I didn't think about it like that, I just need to do this, okay? It has nothing to do with us, it's just what I think is the best option for me. I don't want to do this in the city. I know things have been better this past week but I need to get away from here for a while, please understand that."

"So what are you saying, Rick, we just take a break from us for however long you are out there? And you do this by yourself and leave me here feeling even guiltier than I already do because the only reason you are even going through this is because of me?"

She breaks down then, sobbing out the guilt she's been carrying around for days. She didn't expect this and it's hitting her like a freight train. She doesn't want him to do this alone, doesn't want this to tear them apart. He hasn't really dealt with what happened to him yet and she knows all too well what it's like when the reality of something major like this hits you. If he's anything like her, he will shut himself off from everyone, from her, and she can't handle that.

"Kate…."

He's speaking softly, trying to calm her down but the sound of his voice is only making her more emotional. There's no way she can go without hearing that voice for months, yes she can still call him while he is gone but it won't be the same. She needs him, she needs him here with her. She needs him to anchor her. The tears just keep coming and she knows she may be over reacting but after everything they've been through, including the last few weeks, she just can't imagine not seeing him every day for months.

"Kate, look at me."

She glances up at him, tears still rolling down her cheeks and she doesn't know what to say.