A/N: Yay for a new chapter! Sorry for the delay, life has been a little crazy for my beta and I, but a huge thank you to her (Ally) for sticking with me and helping me through this! I couldn't do it without her! This is a little glimpse at the fluff I know you have all been waiting for. Keep in mind that they are no where near being through the storm yet so there will still be some angsty times, however it will only bring them closer and fuel more fluffy times. I hope you enjoy this one and thanks for sticking with me! Also due to the extension of the deadline for the Ficathon I am going to shoot for the higher word count! I had no intention of ending the story at 50,000 words anyway! I have the next two chapters written and am in the process of writing 18 so updates will be coming soon! :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but if Marlowe wants to talk, I am willing to listen! ;)

Chapter 15: The Light in the Darkness

It only takes turning towards the bed after he leaves the room for her to break, her heart shattering to pieces in a way she's never experienced. She came here to be with him, to help him through this and he's pushing her away. Finding him crumpled on the floor had been hard enough, watching him walk away from her just now had been the final fault needed to unleash the earthquake of her emotions. She barely makes it to his bed before the sobs wrack her entire body. She buries her face in his pillow and cries until exhaustion takes over before she finally drifts off to sleep.

She wakes a few hours later to her head throbbing and reaches up to feel a rather large knot has formed on the side of her head. There is soft light spilling into the room and she glances at the clock to see it's just after six. When she sits up, the throbbing increases and the room spins a little as she slowly stands. She had ignored the injury last night, only caring that Castle was okay. She would never be mad at him for something he had no control over, besides it's nothing compared to the pain he is dealing with. She heads to his bathroom to inspect the knot before she heads downstairs in search of some Tylenol. She knows he will flip out when he sees it, and she worries that he will fall deeper into this darkness that's taken hold of them.

She quietly makes her way down the stairs and into his kitchen, only having to open a few cabinets before she finds the Tylenol and grabs a bottle of water out of the fridge. She takes her pills and drinks some of the water before turning to head back up the stairs and that's when she sees him. He's sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, eyes focused intently on her. She knows he watched her take the Tylenol, knows he's figured out exactly why she needed it. She's completely unprepared for this right now, after the night they had and crying herself to sleep, she's emotionally drained. She wants him to be okay, wants them to be okay, but the fact is that neither of them are remotely close to being okay and she has no idea how to fix this.

She takes a step towards him, but the look on his face has her questioning moving any closer to him, so she tries talking to him instead.

"Hey, how long have you been up?"

"I couldn't sleep; I've been sitting here most of the night."

"Couldn't or didn't want to?" She shifts a little closer to him, pausing again to see how he reacts.

"I guess both; I can't stop thinking about what happened, Kate. I saw you take the pills just now, and I can see the knot from here. I hate the fact that I hurt you." He looks down now, fidgets with his hands in his lap and she just wants to crawl into his lap, wants the look on his face to be something she never sees again.

"Castle…"

She takes another step towards him, but her movement has him looking up again and his words stop her from coming any closer.

"Don't. Just don't Kate. Nothing you say is going to erase the guilt I have. I have no control over this, no idea what's coming next. How can I live with this, knowing that at any moment I may hurt you again? This terrifies me, and I hate it."

"I know it does, it scares me too. It kills me to see you like this, to see you shutting yourself off and to know that I'm the reason for it." She looks away from him, trying to hide the tear that falls down her cheek.

She knows this is probably not the best time for this conversation; the last thing she wants is for him to feel even guiltier than he does. The truth is though, that she has been carrying this guilt around since he took that bullet for her, and until she works through it, lets it out, she's going to continue carrying it. She promised to be open and honest with him and this is something she needs to share with him. She wants him to know that he's not alone in the way that he's feeling.

"Kate, come over here."

She hesitates, wanting nothing more than to be in his arms, but knowing she's barely holding it together as it is.

"Please…."

She hears the pleading in voice, and after the way he acted last night, like he was scared to ever touch her again she's relieved to hear him say that, she's desperate for his touch right now.

She walks over to where he is sitting, stops when she gets directly in front of him. He seems hesitant now, like he's scared she'll break if he touches her again. She tries to make it easier on him, turns to sit on the couch that's next to his chair but he reaches for her hand, softly tugs on it until she's in his lap. It's tense at first, both not wanting to hurt the other until finally he relaxes back against the chair and she settles herself comfortably against him.

He reaches his hand up to her face, tenderly rubs over the knot with his thumb, and wraps his other arms protectively around her waist. He's whispering to her then, soft apologies of "I'm so sorry" and she knows he is, but he was already forgiven the moment that it happened. She softly places her fingers over his lips, making sure that he hears her whispers of "It's okay" and she holds onto this quiet moment a little longer before she leans back to look at him and he seems to remember why he needed her closer to him.

"Kate, this isn't your fault, please don't blame yourself."

"Yes it is my fault. I need to tell you this Castle, and it's in no way meant to make you feel worse, if anything I hope it eases some of the guilt you are feeling." He drops his hand from her face to her hand and grips it tightly, silently giving her permission to continue. "You can't blame yourself for what happened tonight, none of this would have ever happened if it weren't for me. I have always been too close to my mother's case, it's a part of me but it's my fight, my burden. I appreciate you wanting to help me with it but I never should have let you get this close. This is why I don't let people in; everyone who gets close to me gets hurts, and look what happened to you. I can't help but feel like if you had just let them shoot me, this would have been over and you would be safe."

He grips her tighter, clears his throat as if he's having trouble speaking and then he chokes out his next words. "Kate no, you can't leave me, I don't want to lose you."

"I don't want to die, I don't want to leave you, but they want me dead. And they aren't going to stop until they accomplish that and now you're right in the middle of it too. I'm not worth you losing your life over, this is my fight and I won't let you die for my cause. I can't see you get hurt again Rick, please I can't handle anymore."

She lets it take over now, lets the grief she's been carrying since he got shot pour out of her. She breaks down in his arms and cries harder than she ever has. She cries for what they've lost, for what they've been through, and for what they still have to overcome. He holds her, anchors her in a way that only he can until she's cried it all out and she slumps against him, and he knows she carried that guilt along for too long.

He holds her close in the silence of the morning, and in that silence they both feel the shift, as that wall that was pushing them apart starts to crumble. He pushed her away and she came for him, just as he came for her in the past. She's fighting for them and part of that is letting him see her even at her weakest, because even in her weakest moments, she's the light in his darkness.

"Kate, listen to me. You are worth so much more than you think, and I wish you could see that. This isn't your fault, I chose to stand by your side long ago, and I'm not going anywhere. This was your fight but now it's ours, our fight and we're going to beat it together. Please don't feel guilty about this, let it go, so we can heal together."

She lifts her head to look at him, and she just loves him so much, no one has ever fought for her like he has. "Let's call a truce then, I will let go of my guilt, if you let go of yours. We're both in this and I never want to have to imagine what it would be like without you by my side. So let's start this right now, let's heal together, no more guilt. You saved me in so many ways already, now let's save each other."

He glances back up at the knot on her head and she touches his face, pleads with him to let go. He leans up and softly kisses the knot before pulling back a little and pressing his lips to hers. She deepens the kiss, needs his lips on hers a little longer after everything they've been through. He hums into her mouth and she turns so she's straddling him, wraps her arms around his neck. It's not the complete contact she's been craving but it's exactly what she needs right now. If all they can do for now is make-out like teenagers then that's what she plans to do and he seems to agree with her. When they finally pull apart, breathless, she rests her head against his, savors the tender moment they just shared.

"I really can't wait until we can do more than that, I want you so bad. We have such a deep connection already; I can only imagine what that will be like."

She grins at him, so thankful that he sounds more like himself now, and that he seems to be over his fear of touching her. "I can't wait either Castle, as I said before, you have no idea."

He groans as she slides off his lap, and she turns to give him a wicked little grin as she makes her way back to the kitchen. "Come on Castle, let me make you some breakfast." He follows her and sits on a stool at the bar while she cooks for them. When she catches him staring she gives him her signature eye roll before reminding him that staring is creepy.

"I can't help it, just seeing you in my kitchen, cooking for me, it's so domestic and sexy at the same time."

She doesn't miss a beat before shooting back at him, "I'm a woman of many talents, and you'll just have to stick around to see more of them." His jaw drops and she laughs and then she's coming around to sit beside him, handing him a plate and they eat in a comfortable silence.

And just like that they are back, the storm isn't over, if anything it's just begun, but they are together and communicating. They will fight their way through this and when they come out on the other side, nothing will be able to separate them.