A/N:
As I stated before hold on tight for this one. Before you read this chapter please know that I had to split it into two chapters to keep it from being too long. That being said, chapter 20 is already written and will be posted shortly after this chapter if you all review and let me know you want it. This isn't about getting more reviews (although every author appreciates reviews to keep us fueled and excited to be writing for you) the reviews will just help me know when you all are ready for the next chapter. Don't come after me with pitchforks, I already promised a happy ending and I am sticking to that. We're getting closer to the end of Rick's rehab which means we are one step closer to fluffy times. Stick with me! Thanks again for all of the reviews, favorites and follows, the response to this story has been more than I ever imagined. Huge thank you to Ally for sticking with me as well!

Disclaimer: I love them, but I will never own them.

Chapter 19: Keep Your Eyes Open

Four more weeks of cardiac rehab and frequent visits with Dr. Wood have done wonders for Castle. Opening up to Kate about the mysterious man was one of the best things for them. They've managed to work through any small bumps in communication and they are growing closer together with each day that passes. His strength is improving and the place where the bullet entered has fully healed into a scar. It still pulls when he does too much, but he's impressed with how much better he is feeling. It's hard to believe that just eight weeks ago, he was on the ground looking up into her beautiful eyes and wondering if it would be the last time he ever saw them.

It's been eight weeks of pain and hard work; eight weeks of fighting to remember who he is and to be the man that he desperately wants to be for her. The PTSD has affected him in so many ways and he has had to learn to deal with and accept them. The fact is this has changed him in a way that he can never go back to the way he was before, and even if he could, he's not sure he would choose to. Truthfully, he misses not feeling anxious every time he leaves his house, and he misses getting a full nights rest that actually feels restful. He wishes he could sleep next to her without that constant fear that he might hurt her during the night. Even with all of that though, he's thankful for the clarity this has brought to his life, he's thankful for the caution he now takes regarding his life and hers. More than any of that he is thankful that they are together, because as much of a nightmare as this has been, it's also kind of a fairytale in a way.

His mother and Alexis have been calling regularly to check on them, but after he and Kate both explained his PTSD to them, they have been staying in the city. He loves them dearly and he knows they want to be there for him, but he doesn't want them to witness an episode any time soon or at all if he can help it. Kate is doing a good job helping him through them, but he can see the toll it's taking on her and he knows how hard it is on her to watch him when he's having one. She's never left his side during one though and he's thankful that she's been right there through each of them. She's his anchor and he has so much admiration for the strength she continues to show in all of this.

He has about four more weeks of cardiac rehab left and as long as he continues to improve his strength, he has the option of going back to the loft. He can continue his strength exercises there. He only has two major concerns with going back to the city, one being that he's not sure he can talk to anyone other than Dr. Wood about his PTSD and the other being that the shooter is still out there. He knows when Kate goes back to work that she will dive right back into the case and he's not ready for any that. He won't be able to return to the precinct with her for at least six more weeks and even then he's not sure how it's going to go. He wants more than anything to be by her side, but he's not sure how much he can actually handle now without his PTSD being triggered. That's a conversation they still need to have, but he's hoping to put it off as long as he can.

Since telling Kate about the man that was following them and convincing her that he is real, she's been on high alert whenever they are out. Her detective senses have kicked in and she never lets her guard down. Of course it only makes sense that since she started doing that, she hasn't seen him at all and neither has he. It's like he knows their next steps even before they do. Kate hasn't said anything about the fact the he seems to have disappeared, and she has yet to see him, she just keeps watch and he loves her even more for it.

Today has been good; she's in the kitchen making their dinner while he rests on the couch. He's been in good spirits today and some of it may be due to the good report he got at his cardiac rehab appointment. He also had a good session with Dr. Wood, they have a thing now where he tells him about his episodes and they talk through them, then they work on moving forward. It keeps him from focusing on them and she's seen a big change in him already since they started doing that.

She's so happy with the progress they have made, although Rick's PTSD has put some hindrances in their relationship at times, they are doing well at working through them. She's getting restless though, she's always been driven, that's part of what makes her so good at her job and not being at the precinct is starting to get to her. She loves being here with him, and she's glad the new captain made her take time off, but she's not sure how much longer she can go without working. She wants him with her when she goes back though, as scary as him getting shot was, she can't imagine him not being by her side. They need to have this conversation and she's not quite sure how it's going to go. She's pretty sure he will still want to be there with her, but they are going to have to be cautious about the things he is subjected to.

She's just putting their plates on the table when he joins her, his good mood still evident in his smile when he looks at her.

"Thank you for making dinner again, this looks wonderful."

"It was my pleasure; I thought it was about time you tried my mom's secret spaghetti sauce."

She winks at him and waits for him to try the first bite.

"Mmm Kate, this is amazing. Your mom must have been a fantastic cook."

"Oh she was I owe all of my cooking abilities to her."

"I can see why, thank you for sharing this with me. It's so good."

"I'm glad you like it, she would be too."

They eat in a comfortable silence, each enjoying their food. When they are finished she clears the table and does the dishes while he gets a movie ready for them. When she finally joins him in the living room, he's made himself comfortable on the couch and he motions for her to lie down next to him. She smiles and eases herself down next to him so that her back is up against his front. He wraps his arms around her before starting the movie. She forgets what's even playing almost instantly, the only thing she can focus on is being wrapped in his arms, a feeling she never wants to be without. It doesn't take long before she's sound asleep and he soon follows after her.

The credits are rolling and the house is dark when something brings her from a deep sleep to fully awake. Castle is still sound asleep behind her, but something doesn't feel right to her. She carefully moves out of his arms and sits up, scanning the room as the does. She's positive that if someone would have entered the house they would have heard, but she can't shake the uneasy feeling that she has. She glances back at Castle before she heads toward the stairs, he seems so peaceful and he needs to rest so she doesn't want to wake him. She makes it to their room and grabs her gun out of the drawer by the bed. It's her back up piece since she had to hand hers over when she went on leave, but she wasn't about to come here with no protection for them.

She checks out the rest of the house, but everything seems to be fine. Once she's sure that no one else has come in the house she sets the alarm system so that they will know if anyone does. She still doesn't feel at ease though, something obviously caused her to wake and she's not going to be able to relax until she figures out what it is. She returns her gun to the drawer upstairs and then heads back down the stairs to turn the television off. She eases down onto the couch beside Castle and gently shakes his shoulder to wake him.

"Castle, let's go to bed, you'll be more comfortable there then on the couch."

He groans a little but opens his eyes to focus on her and then pushes himself into a sitting position. "Guess we kind of missed the movie, huh?"

"Yeah, I don't think we made it passed the first thirty minutes before we were both asleep."

He gives her a small smile before reaching out to softly run his thumb across her cheek. "That's okay I think we both needed that. Now let's go snuggle some more in our bed."

She smiles and takes his hand as they make their way up to the bedroom together. She's finished with her bathroom routine and waiting while he finishes his. She's about to get in the bed when something catches her attention out on the beach. She walks over to the double doors, but after scanning the beach she doesn't see anything. She still can't shake that uneasy feeling, but she doesn't want to alarm Castle.

She forgets how well he can read her though when he emerges from the bathroom and finds her standing by the doors. "Hey, what's wrong?"

He wraps his arms around her from behind and rests his head on her shoulder.

"What makes you think something is wrong?"

"Kate, I know you, I know when something is bothering you. Tell me."

She turns in his arms and wraps herself around him, letting the feeling of his arms around her ground her for a minute. "Listen Castle, I don't want to alarm you, but something caused me to wake up when we were sleeping downstairs. I just have this uneasy feeling and I can't shake it. I checked the entire house and set the alarm system, but something still doesn't feel right."

She feels him tense in her arms and she places a few kisses into his neck before pulling back to look at him. "Hey, it's okay. The house is secure and my gun is in the drawer by the bed, we're okay."

He relaxes a little and pulls her to the bed with him. Once they are settled in he wraps his arms around her and she laces their fingers together. "Castle, get some sleep okay, I'm right here."

"I love you, Kate."

"I love you too."

She hears when his breathing finally evens out behind her and she rubs soothing circles over his hand with her thumb. She's glad he's getting some sleep; she needs him to continue healing. She tries closing her eyes and getting some sleep as well but something tells her that she needs to keep her eyes open.

It's several hours later and she still hasn't been to sleep. Her body is so alert she's not sure she'll be getting any sleep any time soon. She sighs and is about to shift her body when a movement outside catches her eye. She moves from the bed as carefully as she can, not wanting to wake Castle, or make any more noise than necessary. She slips on her shoes and a jacket and grabs her gun. She takes one last look back at Castle before she disarms the security system and slips out the back door.

She makes it about ten steps toward the beach when she sees him. She knows it's the guy Castle has been seeing the instant she lays eyes on him. He's dressed in all black and he's moving quickly down the beach. Every part of this situation screams for her to go back into the house, to let this go and call the boys at the precinct. She won't though, she knows even as she runs after him down the beach that this is who she is. She doesn't back down from a fight and this is her fight, she won't let anyone else she loves get hurt while trying to protect her.

He dashes up the hill onto the cliff overlooking the beach. He hadn't meant for her to see him, but this is working out even better. All these weeks spent watching them; waiting for the right time, making sure she never saw him. She's been alone several times, but he would have never gotten away with it then. He had fun messing with the writer, making her think he was crazy; it made his job even better. He had to wait for the perfect time to take her out, and she's made that even easier for him. She's following him and she's alone, no writer to take another bullet for her, no backup, just her. He's seen her fight, she's tough, but he's trained and he knows he can take her. He's just fast enough to beat her up the hill and get into position. Now is his chance, to put Kate Beckett in the ground, once and for all.

Adrenaline is pumping through her system by the time she reaches the top of the hill. She was closing in on him and she knows he's up here somewhere. She's been ready for this fight for years, but the truth is, no one knows she's out here. She has no back up coming and if things don't go her way chances are this could be the end for her. She pushes the thought out of her mind and she prepares for what she's about to face. She's smart, she moves quickly with her gun drawn, and taking in her surroundings. He's quicker though and one minute she's holding her gun the next it's knocked from her hand and she's on the ground.

She's not going down without a fight; she rolls back onto her knees and grabs her gun. She only gets seconds to take aim before he kicks it to the side again out of her reach. It's a battle of strength now and she puts up the best fight she ever has. Even with all of the training she has done though, it seems she is no match for him. He gets a hand to her throat that sends her to her knees again and she gasps for breath as he closes in on her.

"Please, just tell me who's behind this?"

"You're wasting your time Detective, you've know idea what you're up against."

She gathers up all the strength she has left as she dives for him, "Neither do you." She intends to knock him down long enough to grab her gun but once again he over powers her. He throws her with such a force that she rolls a few times, the last one sending her over the edge of the cliff. She manages the grab hold of some roots, stopping her from plunging straight down onto the rocks.

"Help! HELP!"

He ignores her cries for help as he steps up to the edge of the cliff and looks down at her. "Actually, we know exactly who we're up against." He smirks down and her for a minute and then he's gone.

She continues to cry out for help, knowing it's unlikely that anyone is going to hear her. She glances down at what's below her and reality begins to set in. There is now way she would survive the fall, even if she missed the giant rocks, the water that's coming in against them is so rough she would drown before she made it out. What little bit of strength she had left after the fight with the shooter is almost gone now and she knows she won't be able to hold on much longer.

She didn't even leave Castle a note, they were doing so well and she thought they were going to finally have a future together and now she's going to fall to her death and never even get to tell him goodbye. In this moment she realizes that the fight was never the most important thing in her life, he is.

When her right arms slips and she's left hanging by only her left, the panic begins to set in. This is it for her; this is how she's going to die.

"CASTLE! Please! Ah not like this, please not like this. CASTLE!"

"BECKETT!"

She could swear she hears his voice, but could he really have heard her from the house?

"CASTLE!"

"BECKETT!"

"CASTLE, I"M HERE!"

"BECKETT, HANG ON!"

And just as her hand is about to slip and she prepares herself for the crash against the rocks, he is there, and his hand wraps around hers the moment that her grip falters.

She has no idea how he does it, but he manages to haul her back up onto the hillside, and she knows it had to have caused him a great deal of pain. He is here though and he just saved her life, again, and she wonders if there will be a day when he will get tired of saving her.

He pulls them a safe distance from the cliff and then collapses onto the ground with her partially on top of him, both trying to catch their breath. Despite the fact that he is recovering from a gunshot wound, he recovers quicker than she does and he's on his feet before she knows what's happening.

"Kate, what the hell? What are you doing out here alone and how in the world did that happen?"

He's pissed and she knows this is going to be the fight that either makes or breaks them. He could walk away from her after this and she really couldn't blame him one bit.

She finally gets her breathing and the panic of almost falling to her death under control and she pushes herself up off the ground.

"Rick, I'm sorry."

"You're sorry? That's it, that's all you are going to say?"

She looks away from him because she can't handle the look he is giving her right now.

"Kate, tell me what happened, please."

She notices that her gun is still lying on the ground a few feet away from them and she wants to have this conversation in the safety of his house so she moves around him and grabs her gun. When she turns around to face him again, he looks as though she's just committed the ultimate betrayal and truthfully, maybe she has. Her decision to do this alone could be the most selfish thing she has ever done, especially after what he has done for her, but it's just a part of who she has always been.

"Rick, not here please, let's go back in the house then I will tell you everything okay?"

"Fine." He turns and walks with her back to the house without saying another word.

When they make it back into the house, she checks it over to make sure it's safe and he resets the alarm system. She comes downstairs from putting her gun back in the drawer and finds him sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. His bottle of pain medication is on the table in front of him and she knows he's probably hurting pretty badly after pulling her to safety.

She remains standing as she prepares to tell him what she has done.

"Rick, I saw him okay, I saw the shooter. You were right, he is real and he has been following us all this time."

He glances up at her and she knows he is registering what she has done before she's even said it, but he allows her to continue.

"I told you that I had that uneasy feeling when I woke up down here earlier, and I couldn't shake it. Once you fell asleep I continued to lay there, keeping watch and just as I was about to turn over, I saw some movement out on the beach. It was him, Rick. I knew he was the shooter as soon as I laid eyes on him and I have no idea why he waited all this time to make a move, but it was him. I had to follow him; I thought I could end this."

She waits for him, knows he has something he wants to say.

"Obviously you didn't end this or you wouldn't have been hanging off a cliff. Tell me the rest."

She swallows hard and fights the lump that's building in her throat because she knows the next part is going to hurt him more than she already has.

"I uh, I went after him, he ran up the hillside and I was right on his heels but when I got up there he was gone. I was careful but he was fast and he got my gun away from me. We fought and I gave it everything I had but he was just too strong, I was no match for him. I tried to get him to tell me who he was working for, but he wouldn't. I took one last dive at him but he was ready for me and he threw me with such force that I toppled over the edge of the cliff."

He stands up then, and he starts pacing around the room before he speaks again.

"So if I hadn't realized you were gone and walked out onto the balcony and heard you yelling, you would be dead right now."

She takes a step towards him as a sob rips it way up her chest and out of her mouth. "Rick…"

"After everything we've been through, all of the progress we have made, I can't believe you would do this. Well actually I can, because it's who you are, Kate, you don't let people in. I take a bullet for you and you try to throw your life away anyway. Why do you think I pushed you out of the way that day, Kate? It wasn't so everyone could call me a hero, it's because you mean so much to me that I can't imagine my life without you. You repeatedly choose to fight this battle on your own when all along I've been standing right here, ready to fight with you and I just don't get it. You are more than this fight, I wish you could see that and I wish you could trust me to stand by you through it."

He puts more distance between them then and as much as she deserves this, she's not sure how much more she can take. "Rick, please…"

He won't look at her now and his next words are all it takes to finally break her. "I don't know what's worse, the fact that you didn't care enough to wake me and let me fight this with you, or the fact that you fought it alone and I could have lost you forever."

She drops to her knees, unable to stand any longer, she ruined this, ruined them and she doesn't even know why. She just wanted this to be over, wanted them to be able to go back home and feel somewhat safe again, instead she's broken the man who has done nothing but stand by her side for the last three years. Her emotion takes control of her and she can't stop the sobbing as she buries her face in her hands.