"Do you suppose house elves are related in some way to wood elves?" mused Bilbo, one sunny afternoon in June. He was chewing on his lip as he stared thoughtfully down at the quiz he had been given by Professor Thranduil; it was on different species and their magical abilities.
"Oh, sure." Kíli grinned at him broadly. "It's just that many years ago, one tribe of elves decided to stay out and sing to the trees and another tribe decided it was a bit too cold for that and went inside."
"I hear they visited the Shire and went into the hobbit holes, which is why they are so short." Fíli added, though he managed to keep a serious expression on his face for a few moments longer.
"Truly?" Bilbo gaped at them for a moment, before Fíli's face cracked. "Oh, bother. Don't do that."
But he was laughing as he reached out a hand to push Kíli's grinning face away.
"Has Thorin asked you yet?" asked Fíli suddenly, leaning close and whispered softly.
"Asked me what?" Bilbo replied, his face flushing slightly as his imagination shot off with a burst; Thorin was handsome, after all.
"If you are going to come with us during the village trip at the weekend."
"He's not mentioned it." He couldn't deny the disappointment trickling through him. He liked the idea of hanging out with them over the weekend. He was enjoying the novelty of having friends.
"Huh… Maybe he changed his plans. Forget I said anything…"
But Bilbo couldn't. Later on that evening, while he was sat in the library working on his homework, he wondered if Thorin had wanted to spend the weekend with him. Curled up in one of the comfortable armchairs in a corner, he imagined what it would be like to spend a day with the other teenager focussed on having a good time rather than work.
It was actually quite hard to imagine. For all that Bilbo now got to spend time with the Company outside of class, Thorin still hadn't warmed to him. The dwarf still scowled in his direction on a frequent basis, as though annoyed that he was there.
Frodo was thrilled that Bilbo now had friends though. He grinned and laughed every time Bilbo tried to awkwardly explain to his younger cousin what he had been up to. Of course, in response Frodo told him what he'd been up to with his Fellowship. There were things he didn't want to hear about, plans that seemed far too exciting for any hobbit, but Bilbo wrote them all down and gave his cousin strict instructions to document any sort of adventure he might go on. Bilbo promised to record anything interesting he might do, so that they could tell the younger hobbits of the Shire that there was a life beyond farms and gardens and their pleasant but simple life there.
Bilbo's first chance for a tale came during the visit to the nearby village. While Thorin hadn't asked him to come, Kíli, Fíli and Ori insisted on it. They headed down to bar where they could sit and chat, while grumbling that none of them were old enough to buy any ale or beer.
They spoke of what they knew of dragons who could transform into humans, which wasn't very much; then they decided to spend time in the library. Bilbo and Thorin had less time though because their salamander was still alive and they were having to check on it at regular intervals.
Later on, they took a walk through the woods, still laughing and having fun. Unfortunately, it was getting dark and most definitely past the time they were supposed to be back at the castle.
"It's really late." Said Bilbo to Bofur who was walking beside him. The seventh year turned to look down at him.
"Don't worry. We never go back just yet."
"It's against the school rules." Bilbo hissed, nervously wondering what he had gotten himself into.
"Don't worry, lad. It's fine." Glóin reassured him.
Bilbo let out a nod and stopped talking. He was admittedly relieved though, when they decided to stop for a rest and to light a fire. Despite his walking holidays, he was tired. He usually went at a somewhat slower pace.
Bilbo watched miserably as Óin and Glóin struggled to keep their bewitched flame alight; they bickered noisily over the correct wand movements required for the fairly simple charm.
"What's that over there?" asked Balin, pointing to a flickering light some distance away.
They squinted, trying to see without moving out from under the precipitation repellent charm that Ori had erected.
"We should go and see who it is." Said Fíli.
"No, we shouldn't. After dark, folks aren't always too friendly." Objected Bofur.
"We're too close to the mountains. You don't get many travellers this way, even in summer." Nori spoke up.
"We have a hobbit with us. He can go." Dori said, turning to look at Bilbo, who shrank back against the tree trunk he was sitting against.
"No, no. I don't think that's a good idea." He whimpered. "We should stay together."
"Nonsense." Dwalin turned to look down at him. "He's only small anyway. They might not see him."
"No, please…" Bilbo whispered. Bifur said something then, though if it was in his favour, Bilbo could not tell. Bifur had a hand axe buried in his head; there was some enchantment on it that meant to could not speak common, so Bilbo could only communicate with him through looks and gestures.
"He promised to sneak for us, so that is what he shall do." Thorin spoke up, his deep voice speaking words that made Bilbo tremble.
He did not argue though; the hobbit took to his feet and very lightly treaded closer to the fire. He was thankful that hobbits could move absolutely quietly when necessary; it was something they took pride in.
"Mutton yesterday, mutton today and blimey if it don't look like mutton again tomorrer."
There were three large trolls sat around a fire, one slowly turning a spit over it. Bilbo winced as he crept into a good spot in the shadows. There was a smell about the placed; it reeked of alcohol, which the trolls seemed to be drinking from very large mugs.
"We haven't had a blinking bit of manflesh in long enough." One of them moaned. "What William was a-thinking of bringing us down 'ere…"
"Shut yer mouth." Choked William. "You can't go expecting folk to come down 'ere just to be et by you an' Burt."
Bilbo ought to have gone back to the Company and this point; he certainly wanted to, but his limbs had frozen in position, refusing to let him scamper. As the trolls stood up and wandered over to the barrel to refill their mugs, one of them spotted the hobbit.
"'Ere, who are you?"
"Blimey! Burt! Look what I've copped up!"
"What are ye?"
"I'm a wiz—hobbit." Said Bilbo, changing his mind while speaking. Trolls were not renowned for their kindness to wizards, who possessed more magic than them, more brains and a better ability to use both. Hobbits, on the other hand, were gentle creatures who were either ignored or looked upon as a naïve and simple folk who were no real danger.
"A wizpoppit?" The troll holding him pulled a face. "Like the fireworks?"
"Sounds more like food to me." Said another. "Maybe we can cook 'im."
"There's barely anything there. If we find some more, perhaps we can make a pie."
"'Ere, are there any more of you bunnies around?" asked the trolls, plucking at Bilbo's foot hair as he asked.
"Ow! Yes, loads… I mean, no. Just me." He didn't want to give his friends away.
"You said 'yes'!" said one of them, indignantly.
"Oh, leave off Tom. He said 'no'."
"I'm not leavin' off nuthin, Bill. He said 'yes' first."
"What I meant… was that there are loads of rabbits. Awfully difficult to catch though." Bluffed Bilbo.
"Well, I've caught him. I'm at least going to have this one." Said Tom, glaring at the other trolls.
"What if there are more wizpoppit rabbits? I don't want them cutting me throat while I'm a-sleepin'." Said Burt, a note of worry in his voice.
"You're a fat fool and I won't 'ave you causing bother." William said.
"Well, you're a mean lout." Whined Tom. The troll dropped him as they began to roll around near the fire, kicking and thumping. Bilbo tried to scramble away, but he was dizzy from being squeezed till he couldn't breathe, his feet throbbed from having patches of hair pulled out and he ached from being dropped.
Suddenly, as Bilbo lay panting on the floor, he heard a cry of "Get a sack, quick!" Looking up, he had just enough time to catch a glimpse of Balin's face before it was covered.
"There's no more wizpoppit's, but there seem to be dwarves about." Said Burt, an ugly grin spreading over his face.
"Let's get out the light. We can surprise anymore that come looking." Said William, picking up their barrels of beer. The others followed, picking up their various sacks of plunder and Balin. Bilbo had enough wits about him to transfigure into a rabbit and hide in the shadows. His animal instincts were telling him to run and hide, but he refused to leave without helping Balin.
The trolls captured the dwarves in this way with embarrassing ease. First Balin, then Dwalin; Fíli and Kíli came and were caught together, as were Nori and Ori. Dori soon followed, as did Glóin and Óin. Then Bifur, Bofur and Bombur were also in sacks.
"What's going on?" a strong voice asked softly enough that the trolls didn't hear, and Bilbo felt some tension leave him. Thorin was here.
Bilbo squeaked, but although Thorin glanced at him, he didn't recognise the rabbit as Bilbo.
"Aren't you Bilbo's cousin's rabbit?" he crouched down in front of Bilbo, who took the opportunity to scamper back a few paces. Thorin followed, and the new position allowed him to catch a glimpse of the trolls.
It was only a moment's advantage, but it allowed Thorin a chance to fight back. Unfortunately, his wand was knocked out of his hand and a sack as dropped over his head. Bilbo quivered with fear for his friends as he watched the trolls move back to the fire.
He grabbed Thorin's wand lightly between his teeth before he hopped back over to the trolls; very lightly as he didn't fancy biting too far into it and setting off any accidental magic.
He moved slowly over to the sacks and placed the wand down, then he took a deep, shuddering breath and moved closer to the trolls.
"Look, rabbit." Said Burt.
"Let's add it in." Tom grinned as William groaned "There's enough in."
But the two trolls began to chase Bilbo around their camp and so William joined in too. Bilbo didn't dare glance up as he ran, he could bear to look and see if the sun wasn't as close to up as he needed it to be. Thank goodness it was mid-June and the nights were short; and thank goodness for Professor Thranduil and his quizzes. Bilbo knew he only had to go till dawn before they turned to stone. Behind him, the trolls were back to arguing, even as they chased him.
"But I want to sit on the one with the yellow stockings."
"You can have the one with grey."
"You wanted the last one. He had blue stockings on."
"No, he had yellow."
"Oh, stop it! The night's getting on and dawn comes early. Let's get on with it."
"The dawn will take you all, and be stone to you." Called out a voice that filled Bilbo's exhausted body with hope.
The sun's rays peaked through the trees and the trolls were frozen in position. Stepping out from behind a tree, Professor Gandalf grinned in relief at the thirteen sacked dwarves. He stepped forward to unbind them and then picked Bilbo's tired bunny form up.
"I will be having words with you boys, I think." He said, a serious look falling over his face. "This was very foolish."
"Bilbo! Professor, where is Bilbo?" called out Kíli and Fíli, concern etched into their faces.
"He is quite safe now." Replied Gandalf as he petted Bilbo's fur.
"He is probably hiding in his bed, shaking with fear." Spat Thorin, clearly annoyed to hear Bilbo wasn't seriously injured, for why else should he not have come back for them?
The hobbit in question simply relaxed against the head teacher, drowsily enjoying the warmth.
"Back to Hogwarts now." Gandalf simply said. "We'll talk when you have rested."
As the dwarves set off, Gandalf stopped to wave his wand at the bulging sacks of plunder the trolls had had.
"Maybe we can find something useful for you in there, my dear, brave boy."