Chapter 13

Good-bye

Author's note and disclaimer: I'm all giddy and stupid because of the last chapter and all of the reviews. You guys are pretty awesome. I hope this chapter goes the way I want. I do not own Gundam Wing.

After their hot and steamy rendezvous there were several that happened afterwards. Some took place at home and the others took place at work—in either of their offices or in the janitor's closet. But it was always Himeno that initiated it. She would attack him from behind, hugging him tightly and kissed his neck. Or she would hide underneath his desk and wait until he started to work and then surprise him. At first Wufei would jump and scream, he would order her to get out so he could get work done, but Himeno would change his mind.

Wufei made sure that he had protection on him at all times because he knew that attempting to have another child was out of the question. Not when Himeno hasn't asked to see the key or has refused to go anywhere near the nursery. Wufei knew what she was pulling; she was trying to distract him from the obvious pain she was in. Of course he didn't mind the sex; he didn't mind the scratches on his back or the fact that he was physically tired. He didn't like the fact that Himeno thought that she was fooling him.

He couldn't think of a plan to confront Himeno because every time he turned around she was there, ready to pounce on his bone. So when he knew that she was stuck in another boring meeting with Lady Une, Wufei took this chance to hide from her inside Trowa and Heero's office.

"You know we don't mind you staying in here." Trowa started while reading the papers that were in his hands, "but is it possible for you to not make such a mess?"

Looking up from his papers he witnessed Wufei throw another crumpled up piece of paper and miss. There was an obvious reason why Wufei was never involved in basketball whenever they went undercover at a high school during the war. Heero walked over, picked one up and unraveled it. He scoffed at the messy handwriting, the well thought out plans that were completely stupid.

"Have you and Duo switched brains because all of these plans sounds like the stuff he has pulled with me." Heero scoffed.

Wufei glared up at the Japanese pilot, "I don't know how to handle this."

"This being Himeno distracting you with her womanly attributes so you completely forget the real reason why she's acting the way she is." Trowa stated sighing heavily.

"You guys know?"

Heero and Trowa glanced at each other and then at Wufei, nodding in unison. "You either need to tell her stop yelling or get her a ball gag."

Wufei's faced exploded with blush and hung his head, "we've been that bad?"

"Dude you two put silver back gorillas to shame." Duo popped in with more papers for Trowa to read. "Oh by the way Himeno is looking for you. Would you like me to tell her that you'll be waiting in your office or will you be hiding out here for the rest of the day?"

"This coming from the idiot that covered my wife's entire office with foil and hid in my office to escape certain death," Wufei stated jotting down more ideas.

Duo nervously laughed, "Right I'll tell her you're out running errands."

"Good call." Wufei threw another balled up paper towards the trash can and missed, "I don't know how Himeno does it."

"She certainly knows how to score." Duo joked receiving glares from everyone, telling him that he had better leave before things turned for the worst.

A few minutes after Duo left, Wufei had finally gave up on plotting plans and retired to helping Heero and Trowa with the next mission draft. Until they buckled under Wufei's constant begging glances.

Trowa sighed, "Himeno doesn't like it when you beat around the bush, she'd rather you confront her directly. While you're at try a little shock treatment."

"What kind of shock treatment did you have in mind?" Wufei asked.

"Himeno still hasn't gone into the baby's room, right? Or looked at the rainbow box you received from the hospital?"

"No and I won't pressure her into doing that. I think that'll have the opposite effect and she'll just get worse—just minus the sex." Wufei answered angrily.

"You won't know until you try." Trowa suggested.

"I don't need to try, I see it every day. She refuses to go anywhere near the nursery. If she gets close without realizing it she starts having panic attacks and it takes hours for her to calm down."

"I didn't know it was that bad. What does her therapist say?" Heero asked.

"I don't know. Whatever they talk about it's between them, but during the couple sessions it's pretty much the same thing every time. Support each other, be there during the bad days, and never turn each other way. I won't admit it to Himeno, but all of our secret meetings are starting to tire me out."

Trowa and Heero burst out laughing, Wufei's exhausted expression, all together, was pathetic and adorable. Himeno wasn't just distracting him from her problem, she was making sure he was too tired to question her motives.

"That girl is more diabolical than I ever would have imagined." Trowa chuckled.

Eventually, Wufei came out of hiding. Retreating to his office and locking the door, pulling the shades down. As much as he needed to get work done, he needed to confront Himeno first. They could accidentally get pregnant again and Wufei was terrified how Himeno would react to the unborn child. He didn't really want to agree with Trowa, but shock treatment seemed to be the way to go. Wufei quickly glanced at his watch, it was almost seven and Himeno wouldn't be home yet. Sending out a quick text to Sally, informing her of his plan, she replied that she would be on standby if Wufei needed her.

At home Wufei walked into the nursery. Looking over the room he felt the presence of what would have been their future. He imagined what Luli's laughter would have sounded like, he dreamt of walking in on Himeno singing their daughter to sleep after waking up from a nightmare. His hand graced the edges of the crib he, Heero and Trowa worked hours on. In the middle of the crib was the rainbow box he had left months ago. Gathering the box in his arms, he slid down the crib and opened the object. With every object he pulled out he slowly looked it over, taking in every inch of Luli's face and her tiny foot prints. He covered his nose with the little hat she wore for a few moments, taking in her scent that was quickly fading. He remembered cradling her lifeless body in his arms and kissing her on the forehead—a sign of goodbye and love.

Himeno's voice shook him out of his trance. Wufei looked up and saw Himeno cowering behind the wall.

"Himeno come in here." Wufei ordered, but she didn't move—she remained behind the threshold, "please Himeno."

The crack in his voice made her curious. Peering into the room she saw Wufei sitting on the floor, he had Luli's things scattered around him, but the thing he held in his hand caught her attention. He was clutching it tightly, the cloth material catching his tears. Panicked, Himeno crossed the room over to him. Getting on her knees, Himeno wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him into a tight embrace. The only time Himeno had ever seen him cry, before Luli's death, was back when she was raped—when she refused to open up to anyone including him.

"How blind have I been?" Himeno thought holding Wufei's trembling body. "I'm so sorry Wufei."

Wufei's arm tightened around Himeno's waist, Luli's hat crumpled up in his hand. This was not the shock treatment he was planning, but maybe this would help get whatever he wanted to say to Himeno out.

"We need to stop." Wufei muttered.

"Stop what?"

"We need to stop with our secret meetings. The sex in our offices, the closets and here at home—we're going to end this, just for a little while."

Himeno sat back onto her legs, folding her hands in her lap, "have I done something wrong?"

"Yes." Wufei suddenly snapped, "I know what you're doing Himeno and I blame myself for letting this go on for as long as I let it. But this needs to stop and you need to start talking to me."

Himeno nervously reply, "What are you talking about?"

Wufei stared at his wife with a blank stare, "Himeno we dated for almost a year and half and then another year before we got married—how could I not know what has been going on in that mind of yours?"

Himeno's shoulders slumped in defeat, soft sobs escaping from her lips, "I'm sorry, but I thought this is what you wanted."

"What are you talking about? I wanted you to move at your own pace, to come to me when you were finally ready. I never wanted you to push yourself to limit to where we were both exhausted. I never wanted you to go back into your shell." Wufei rubbed her shoulders, his hand running down her arm until he cupped her hand—placing the hat into her hand.

"I think it's time that you saw her, Himeno. You need to see Luli." Wufei picked up the picture, "you need to say goodbye, so we can move on."

Himeno ran her thumb over the pink hat, while taking the picture in her hand. More tears falling from her pain filled eyes. She smiled at her daughter's facial features. There was so much of Wufei in her face, but some of her looked like Himeno's mother. The softness in her face, the thin and light brown hair and the button nose brought on more tears.

"She looks like my mother." Himeno cried. Regretting every decision she made after Luli was born, "I should have held her Wufei. I'm such an idiot, why did I push her away? She was my child."

Wufei got to his knees, cradling Himeno's head to his shoulder. He sighed, relieved that she was finally letting go of everything. He continued to hold her as she cried loudly, clutching the picture and hat close to her chest. After Himeno calmed down a little, Wufei leaned against the crib with Himeno lying against him. She was playing with his zipper while her husband stroked her hair.

"We can always try again, Himeno. Not now, but in the near future." Wufei said suddenly. Himeno repositioned her head to look up at him, "I want to try again Himeno. I want to have children with you and only you. But we can wait until you're ready; I'm willing to wait for as long as possible."

Himeno sat up, starring sweetly into Wufei's eyes. Fresh tears threatened to poor over, "I would love that, very much."

The End

Author's note: I am not even sorry. I may or may not do an epilogue or I just might jump right into the next segment. Or both. Who knows.