GI Joe/Marvel universe crossover.
I don't own Marvel or Hasbro.
Silence
Chapter 23: Substitute Teacher Insanity
Time: 02:30, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Remy LeBeau had a plan.
Was it a fool proof plan? Probably not. If the plan succeeded, he could expect to be repaid with pain and humiliation. However, it would still be a short term victory and in the battle against the grumpy, ornery bear known as Beach Head, that was all he needed.
He'd had a short term victory the previous morning as well. Knowing that a certain ranger was sure to come barging into his room at four in the morning, the Cajun had booby trapped his door. Gambit had placed a chair under the handle as a precaution, but had reasoned it wasn't enough. Therefore, Remy had also placed several water balloons above the said door. In order to complete his trap, he'd taped saran wrap on the floor in front of the door and had poured vegetable oil over it to make it slippery.
At four in the morning, an angry bear had bellowed at his door. At about a minute after four, the ranger had managed to slam the said door open despite the chair. A few seconds later, the ranger's angry bellowing and Remy's own hysterical laughter woke up half the mansion.
Scott Summers had been pissed, to say the least. For some reason he blamed both men, even though Remy had obviously been defending himself and his right to a decent amount of sleep.
No, the short term victory had only been short term. Remy had still been forced to go on a ten mile run and Beach Head had taken great pleasure in making it as torturous as possible. Gambit still wasn't sure how the man had managed to find a ditch full of mud, but he had. However, revenge had been sweet later that afternoon. He had taken great pleasure in proving to Wayne Sneeden that no amount of physical endurance made him a good basketball player.
If the Cajun had rubbed it in the man's face, well, he felt it had been justified. Getting hit in the face by an angrily thrown basketball hadn't been justified. Jean had ended up interceding before another fight broke out between them. Gambit scowled as he thought about the fact that he still had a black eye.
Stupid Beach Head.
Remy LeBeau needed a new plan, a better plan. This time, he was going on the offensive. Therefore, he'd set his alarm for 2:15 am. Let's see how Beach Head liked being woken up at 2:30 to go on a ten mile run.
The former thief crept up to the bedroom door. Inside, his target and his pacifist friend were sound asleep. Gambit paused a moment to consider the consequences of his plan, as Lifeline would suffer as well. However, he dismissed it as irrelevant, but because he was certain that a pacifist wouldn't retaliate.
Remy LeBeau smirked as he looked at the door, which was open a few inches. Beach Head could at least have made it more difficult by having the door shut and locked. The X-Man wondered for a moment why the two men had left the door open slightly. He shrugged a moment later. It didn't really matter, other than it took the fun out of picking the lock.
He silently opened the door and looked at the two sleeping figures. The Cajun took a deep breath and then shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Get up you dang pogue! It's time to go running!" To further accentuate his rather loud screeching, Gambit pounded on the door. Two figures immediately jumped out of their beds and stared around. The Cajun tried not to laugh as they both began to start talking at the same time.
"What the hell is…?" Lifeline started.
"Who?" Beach Head asked. Remy smirked as he sucked in his breath and shouted again, even louder.
"Aille, toi, l'ours grincheux!" the Cajun screeched. "Time to go running!"
"God dammit LeBeau!" Wayne Sneeden bellowed, though his voice didn't reach quite the same screeching decibels as Remy's voice. The Cajun almost felt sorry for the GI Joe medic wincing and covering his ears on the other side of the room.
"WHAT'S DE MATTER HOMME?" Remy continued to shout, raising his voice even higher. "IT AIN'T TOO EARLY FOR YOU, NON?"
As to be expected, Wayne Sneeden was none too happy to be woken up before his usual time and even Edwin Steen seemed irked. The ranger stalked over the grinning Cajun. Several items in the room began to shake, testament to how angry the other mutant was.
"What the hell's going on?" another voice asked. Beach Head and Gambit looked over to see an annoyed Peter Parker and Sean Cassidy standing in the doorway. The ranger pointed an accusing finger at the former thief.
"Don't look at me, it ain't my fault!" Beach Head shouted. "This damn pogue…"
"What's de matter?" Gambit mocked. "Remy thought you liked getting up early to go running." Beach Head swore violently as more irritated voices could be heard in the hall.
"Can't you two ever shut up?" An irate Banshee asked. The Irishman looked positively murderous. "God dammit, every single morning!" he shouted. "Can't you two bloody idiots pipe down a wee bit and let us sleep?"
A tired looking Peter Parker glared at them as well. The superhero was staying the night at the mansion while he covered for Hank McCoy's chemistry classes. From what Remy understood, he'd gone on patrol as Spiderman until about midnight before coming back to the school to get some sleep.
Or try to, anyway.
"It ain't Remy's fault," the Cajun denied. "It's ain't my fault that Beachie Boy…"
Remy stopped in mid-sentence when he felt a hand grab him from behind and pick him up. The shocked Cajun looked down into the very annoyed and stern looking face of Dr. Edwin Steen. Gambit gaped wordlessly as the medic looked over at a suddenly wary Beach Head.
"It ain't mah fault you danged medic!" the ranger shouted, beginning to back away. "Ah didn't tell the damned idiot to come barging in like some…"
However, Lifeline ignored his friend's denials as he also picked up the other man, who was still ranting at him. A blast of air suddenly hit Remy in the face as he heard a whistling sound in his ears. Colors flashed by his eyes the briefest of moments before being replaced by blackness. An owl hooted and a warm, early fall breeze brushed against him. The Cajun blinked when he realized that the medic had taken them outside.
Lifeline set them down and vanished with a flash. He was back a moment later. An astonished Beach Head and Gambit watched as the pissed medic dropped a pair of combat boots at the ranger's feet.
"Go, run," the medic commanded, pointing towards the road. "If you two come back in before then, I'm having Peter glue the two of you to the roof in your underwear. He said his webbing lasts a few hours before it disintegrates, so it should be four or five o'clock by the time it disappears." The medic glared at them one more time before disappearing.
Remy LeBeau and Wayne Sneeden stood in shocked silence for several seconds. They looked at each other and stared. Gambit had put on shorts and sneakers in case he actually got forced to go running. Beach Head, on the other hand, only had on a pair of boxers. Beach Head suddenly began to swear and Remy began to snicker. On the bright side, he had pulled the man out of bed before four o'clock.
"Come on LeBeau, let's go running," Beach Head finally growled. Remy stared at him a moment. He'd guessed that this might happen, but he had no intention of actually going for a run. There was no way Beach Head was going to make him go today.
"No way," the Cajun replied. "Remy's going back inside." He had full faith in his ability to sneak back in without Spiderman or Lifeline knowing it.
"Like hell you are!" the other mutant shouted. "You woke me up to go running…we're going running!"
"You're just afraid of a damn pacifist's stupid threat," Remy shot back. "It's not like dat coward would actually…"
A rough hand grabbed him around the neck and lifted him up. Gambit coughed as he kicked at the maniac and tried to pry the hands off. He swore internally as a pair of enraged eyes glared at him.
"Ah kin deal with yew mockin' me," the ranger growled. "But yew ain't gonna make fun of mah friend. Lifeline might save your sorry life someday." Remy kneed him in the abdomen, but the ranger didn't flinch. Gambit was about to resort to using his powers when the man finally let him go. The Cajun coughed and hacked as he breathed for air. He looked over at the ranger glaring at him. A small sensation of guilt ran through him.
"Sorry," Remy muttered. A brief memory of fighting alongside the medic against the sentinels flashed through him. The Cajun realized that he'd probably gone too far in calling the man a coward.
"Ah didn't hear you," Beach Head snarled. Remy glared back at him.
"Remy said he was sorry, okay?" he replied. The other man continued to glare angrily at him. Remy sighed. Perhaps his plan hadn't been so brilliant after all. The fight was between him and Beach Head after all and he'd pulled the medic into it when he'd had the bright idea to wake the ranger up.
"Ah pulled your friend into this and Ah shouldn't have," the Cajun finally admitted. "And Remy shouldn't have called him a coward." The stubborn part of him fought apologizing, but the decent part of him won out. He watched as the ranger relaxed slightly.
"Good enough," Wayne Sneeden said. "Now let's get going you damned pogue."
Remy LeBeau sighed again as they began to run down the road. The moon still hung over head and the sun wouldn't be out for a couple more hours. He thought back to the angry mutant who'd had no qualms about tossing a couple of loudmouths out of the mansion for waking him up. Gambit began to wonder if his first impression of Lifeline had been entirely wrong. For a pacifist, the annoyed medic had been surprisingly intimidating.
Note to self, pacifists were scary when provoked.
Time: 09:00, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Warren Worthington III was enjoying a nice cup of coffee and the morning's news when he heard an odd voice in his right ear. He immediately froze as the strange voice asked if he was alone. Angel nodded and said yes, he was.
"What are the frequencies for the X-Men's communications system?" the man asked. Warren told him. The man asked him which X-Men were currently at the school. He answered the voice, which seemed pleased. The invisible person then asked for the location of Wolverine and Storm Shadow, but sadly, Archangel didn't know the answer to that. The man said that was okay.
The man then told him that something very special was going to begin soon and that his help would be greatly appreciated. Angel promised that he'd help. The man thanked him for it.
"You are going to go lie down now and take a short nap," the voice finally said. "You will sleep for fifteen minutes and wake up. You will remember nothing about this conversation. You have been doing nothing other than resting, as you developed a headache this morning."
Angel stood up and suddenly felt tired. His head pounded from a horrible headache. He turned off his light and crawled into his bed. The mutant was instantly asleep and he didn't wake up for fifteen minutes. When he finally woke up, he blinked at the clock.
"I slept in late today," Warren muttered. He sat up and looked over at his open computer and a cup of coffee. His head ached slightly and he remembered that he'd lain down because of a headache. The mutant contemplated staying in bed a little longer, but he reminded himself that he had work to do.
He stood up with a sigh and walked over to his desk. Warren took a sip of coffee and was somewhat surprised that it was still warm. The mutant shrugged as he began to read a new business report.
Unknown to him, a Crimson guardsman was currently relating newly gathered information to Cobra.
Time: 09:08, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Today was a disaster. A complete and utter disaster.
Beach Head didn't say that about most days, but today was an exception. Getting woken up by the Cajun mouth at two thirty in the goddamn morning and then getting kicked outside by Lifeline had only been the start of it. When the two men had finally run back to the mansion, they'd discovered that Peter Parker had covered all of the entry ways with webbing to keep them out.
After a round of swearing, he and Gambit had made the briefest of truces. Between a ranger and a former thief, the two men had easily managed to slip into a classroom window and make their way into the mansion. The next thirty minutes had then been spent plotting as to how to pay Parker back for it.
Their solution had been to fill a water balloon with an odd mixture of cheap cologne and perfume that Gambit had nicked from Rogue's room. The two men had picked the lock to toss their weapon in, only to find that he'd put webbing in his doorway as a precaution. They'd stood there for a couple minutes quietly debating if the Cajun should blow it up or if Beach Head should try to rip the webbing down with his telekinesis. Just as they'd decided on having the ranger try, they'd been caught by an extremely irked Scott Summers.
If Gambit had decided to throw it at Cyclops, well, it wasn't his fault. However, for some reason, the man had decided to blame Beach Head as well. It was only the intervention of Jean Grey that had prevented an optic blast being sent their way.
That hadn't prevented any punishment, however. Summers had put them on kitchen duty, god damn kitchen duty. And, as it had turned out, that hadn't been one of Cyclops' brightest ideas. Gambit had repeatedly mocked Beach Head's sadly nonexistent culinary skills and in retaliation, the ranger had finally dumped a bowl of pancake batter over his head. A small food fight had ensued, which Storm had broken up.
This all, of course, led him to his current dilemma. Charles Xavier had decided to try to play the role of mediator between the two men. Beach Head now had the unpleasant experience of sitting in the professor's office like some misbehaving school boy. Next to him, an equally annoyed Remy LeBeau glared up at the ceiling.
"I'm very disappointed in both of you," Charles Xavier said quietly. Wayne didn't quite meet his eyes, but he could feel the man's displeasure. Xavier wasn't exactly Hawk, but he was the one in charge. He was also one of Beach Head's teachers. The professor wasn't exactly someone that Beach Head wanted to have annoyed with him.
"It ain't Remy's fault," the Cajun denied, pointing an accusing finger at Wayne. "He's de one actin' like we're all a bunch of worthless…"
"No Ah ain't!" Beach Head shot back. "Not all of the X-Men need lessons in discipline, just you! It ain't my fault that you've got no respect for…"
"You don't know anything about me!" Gambit shouted, growing red faced. "You've got no right to judge me like…"
"I've got all the right to…" the ranger started.
"Enough," a stern voice commanded. Both men immediately shut up and stared sullenly at the bald man sitting across from them. Charles Xavier sighed heavily as he turned his chair to look out of a window. The professor didn't say anything for about a minute and the silence began to weigh heavily in the room. For Beach Head, it only made the fact that the room, however spacious, was still small. The ranger pushed down his uneasiness as he waited for Xavier to say something.
"Gambit," Charles Xavier finally said. "You know from personal experience that's it's not easy to adjust to life here. You, Rogue, and Wolverine all had problems." Remy LeBeau surprisingly didn't say anything. Beach Head half expected him to start running his mouth, but instead the man simply sat and stared at the opposite wall.
"Beach Head," the professor said, turning around to look at him. "I know this is difficult for you, but trust me, every X-Man here has proven his or her worth, Gambit included. I also know that the environment here is not the same that you're used to from the military, but the only thing I can ask you to do is to try to adapt."
Beach Head didn't respond either, other than to give a small nod of acknowledgment. He really didn't have a choice. Wayne knew he needed the training and there was no way that Hawk would let him come back before the month's leave was up. The ranger's only choice was to suck it up and figure out how to stop pissing people off.
"I'm going to ask the two of you to begin training together in the Danger Room," Professor Xavier added. Both men opened their mouths to argue, but he cut them off.
"I'm not asking the two of you to be friends," the professor explained. "But I do expect the two of you to be able to work together."
"Yes sir," Beach Head replied. Gambit nodded his head in acknowledgment, but there was still a stubborn look on his face. The professor sighed again.
"Alright," Charles Xavier finally said. "I understand that Psyche Out is coming around three to see you, correct?" Beach Head nodded unhappily. As if his day couldn't get any worse, he had another session with the psychiatrist. The ranger really didn't want him or Hawk to know how badly he was getting along with the X-Men.
"I'm teaching P.E. around eleven," Wayne added reluctantly. Xavier seemed to be searching for a time that he and Gambit could learn to 'work together.'
"P.E.?" Gambit asked. "Mon Dieu, you're inflicting him on de poor kids?"
"Shut it LeBeau," the ranger replied. Beach Head scowled at the Cajun. Covering one of Wolverine's gym classes hadn't exactly been his idea, but the ranger had wanted to prove he could help out around the mansion. Storm had suggested that he might teach one of the late morning classes. Cyclops had resisted the idea, but Ororo Munroe had talked him into giving the ranger a chance.
Although to be quite frank, she had basically ordered Summers in that gentle, but strong manner of hers. Beach Head had found it to be quite impressive, as she had quickly put the man in his place. In the ranger's mind, Storm seemed to be the only 'military' like leader in the X-Men that he respected. Xavier was a teacher and a diplomat of sorts, but he wasn't a field commander. Neither was Jean Grey, even though she had proven herself to be a capable teacher and fighter. Cyclops was too much like Flint for Beach Head's taste and in fact, Wayne was rather certain that the stick was stuck farther up Summer's ass than the warrant officer's.
He'd never tell Flint that of course.
No, Storm was the only real commander in the X-Men. She had a natural way of leading with intelligence, grace, and confidence. Ororo Munroe also seemed to be one of the few X-Men who were making any attempt to get to know him. She had quietly invited the ranger to share a cup of coffee with her the previous day and had asked him about life in the Pit. Wayne had gratefully told her about what he'd felt had been appropriate to share.
"Yes, Beach Head will be teaching a class," Professor Xavier told the Cajun, breaking him out of his thoughts. Gambit gave him a skeptical look before shrugging his shoulders.
"Should I dig some graves in the backyard?" the Cajun asked. Beach Head glared at him while Xavier actually gave the other man a wry smile.
"No, I don't think that will be necessary," Professor Xavier replied dryly. "I'm sure that Wayne understands that these are teenagers and not soldiers." Beach Head snorted. He was rather certain that some of his greenshirts and a couple of Joes were still mentally 'teenagers.'
"It'll be fine," Beach Head said. Besides, it wasn't like he couldn't handle a bunch of mini-greenshirts.
"Very well," the professor replied, but he still seemed somewhat amused. "I'd like for the two of you to meet in the Danger Room at one o'clock for training."
Beach Head sighed as he made his way out of the office. As much as he was starting to like the battle simulator, he didn't want to train in it with Gambit. He'd rather work with Jean or Cable on his powers, especially since the professor had finally removed the rest of his mental blocks.
"Try not to make too many kids cry," Gambit finally said when they were in the hallway. "Remy don't like crying kids."
"Ah ain't gonna make the damn pogues cry," Beach Head replied. "And why do you care anyway?" The Cajun swung around to glare at him. Gambit crossed his arms and scowled darkly. His red pupils, set against black eyes, seemed to have a life of their own.
"Remy care plenty," the Cajun replied. "Dey ain't soldiers."
"They're mutants," Wayne replied. "Living in a world that hates them. They need to be able to defend themselves." Gambit thought about that for a moment and to the ranger's surprise, the Cajun didn't contradict him.
"That may be true homme, but they're still kids," Gambit said. "If dey were anywhere else, they wouldn't be allowed to. Here though…dey've actually got a chance to act their age."
"They're here to learn," Wayne replied. "And that includes self-defense, or are you telling me that Wolverine went easy on them?" He didn't know much about the mutant, but based on his reputation and Wayne's own impressions from the one time they'd met, he doubted that the man's P.E. classes had been fun and games. Gambit actually smirked slightly before shaking his head.
"Logan knows how far to push dem, you don't," the Cajun replied. Beach Head glared at the other man. He was a damn drill instructor. Wayne was pretty sure he knew how to handle a bunch of kids.
"You don't know me," Wayne replied, throwing the man's earlier comment back in his face. "I know what I'm doing. Besides…" he added. "It was Storm's idea." The other man gave him a surprised look before groaning under his breath.
"In dat case, you'd better not screw up," Gambit replied. "Ah don't care if you mess up, but Remy don't want you to make Storm look bad."
"Ah ain't gonna…" Beach Head paused as a thought struck him. The Cajun was actually concerned about Storm's reputation? As far as he'd been able to tell, Gambit only cared about Gambit…unless of course, he was chasing a pair of legs known as Rogue.
"Think about dat," the other man told him. Gambit walked off and left the ranger still standing in the hallway. Beach Head ignored the fact that they'd actually had a somewhat civil conversation as he thought about the upcoming class he was to teach. Was he really up to trying to lead a PT session for teenagers with powers? More than anything, Wayne Sneeden didn't want to fail, especially since Storm had fought for him to even have the opportunity.
The thought of possibly disappointing Ororo Munroe bothered him more than the rebuke he'd just received from Charles Xavier.
Time: 09:30, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
"You're my hero Lifeline."
Dr. Edwin Steen raised an eyebrow at the other man. Peter Parker grinned as he took a sip of coffee and looked at the lesson plan in front of him. The two men were currently sitting in a small lounge as they prepared to tackle the classes that day. It was their second day of covering Hank McCoy's classes and from what the medic could tell, Parker seemed to be a regular substitute teacher for the school.
"How so?" Ed asked. Peter grinned tiredly and shook his head. He seemed bemused by the medic's response.
"For kicking Gambit and Beach Head outside this morning," he answered. Lifeline shrugged. He'd been more inclined to just kick Gambit out, but had known that a certain ranger would continue to rant and possibly get into it with another X-Man. He had simply taken the precautionary step and thrown both men outside to save himself an earache.
"You didn't have to block all the doorways," Lifeline pointed out. "They got back in anyway and now you've got both of them pissed at you."
"I know," Spiderman answered, still grinning. "They tried to break into my room to throw a water balloon at me." Lifeline rolled his eyes at that. He'd already heard the story from Wayne, who'd had to explain to him exactly why Scott Summers had looked particularly murderous at breakfast.
"They'll find a way to get you back," Edwin told him, shaking his head. "Or Beach Head will at least." Peter Parker didn't seem to be particularly convinced. The human mutate explained how his powers allowed him to sense danger before it happened. Spiderman seemed confident that he could avoid getting 'paid back', especially since he justified the whole thing as 'defending his right to sleep.'
Lifeline decided not to say anything. Parker could discover for himself that superpowers wouldn't prevent Wayne Sneeden from getting revenge. Instead, he looked back down at his own notes. His first day of teaching the previous day hadn't been terrible, but it could have been better. The first classes had consisted of the students testing how far they could stretch his authority and an exasperated Edwin had finally put them back into place with a stern lecture.
Things had gone much more smoothly after that. Lifeline did his best to make the classroom relaxed, but he wasn't quite sure how well he'd succeeded. Today the sophomore level students were starting to learn about enzymes and had a short video to watch, so hopefully it wouldn't go too badly.
It wasn't that things were terrible. For the most part, all the students were well behaved. However, there seemed to be something about having a substitute teacher that encouraged even the best students to try to get away with things they knew they shouldn't.
Lifeline sniffed suddenly as he caught a new, horrid scent. He looked around in puzzlement and stood up from the table. Peter gave him a curious look.
"What?"
"I smell something," Edwin replied. He heard Parker sniff a few times before shrugging. The stench began to grow stronger and the medic gagged slightly. Several long moments past before the superhero finally clamped a hand over his nose.
"What the hell is that?" Spiderman asked. "It smells like something died."
Lifeline gagged again as a sudden blast of the stench hit him. He and Peter ran for the door, only to discover that it had been locked. Edwin grabbed the door handle and accidentally pulled it off. He stared at it a moment while Peter ripped the door open.
The two substitute teachers stepped out into the hallway and smelled the sweet, fresh air. Unfortunately, the horrible smell began to drift out of the room as well. Edwin's nose stung from it and his eyes began to water. Sometimes it really didn't pay to have enhanced senses.
"Open a window," he coughed. Peter Parker opened the nearest window.
"Can you fan it out?" the other man asked. Lifeline shrugged. He wasn't sure how. After a moment of thought, he had an unpleasant idea. The medic bit his lip and sighed heavily. There was one way he could think of drawing out the fumes that didn't involve accidentally destroying anything.
Edwin walked back into the room, opened his mouth, and breathed in a deep gulp of air. The objects in the room shook slightly as he sucked in his breath. A nasty taste hit his tongue and Lifeline nearly vomited.
Okay, so that hadn't been a bright idea, even if breathing it in had removed some of the smell. Lifeline staggered over to the open window and hung his head out. He felt thoroughly miserable, especially since the awful smell continued to cling to his and Peter's clothing.
"What the hell's that smell?" Robert Drake asked. Iceman was standing down the hallway with a couple of students. Peter shrugged at him and pointed at the room. Lifeline ignored the exchange as he continued to look down at the grass. He wasn't going to throw up, he wasn't….
He gagged again and this time some bile rose up in his throat. God damn it.
"What was that you said about Beach Head and Gambit getting me back?" Spiderman asked. Lifeline answered him with a wretched groan. Stupid enhanced senses. Why did he have to teach a class in less than half an hour?
Edwin swore darkly under his breath. If either of the two men were behind this, then he wouldn't let it go.
He should, of course. He should be entirely mature and ignore the fact that he and Peter had obviously been targeted by…whatever the hell it was. However, Edwin Steen was just miserable and tired enough that seeking revenge actually sounded appealing, granted of course that it involved absolutely no violence whatsoever.
"You going to be okay?" Peter asked, looking worriedly at him. Edwin nodded. He was going to have to take a shower and change his clothes before the next class. The medic only hoped that he could scrub the smell off.
"We need to find out what that was," Edwin told him. The scent was starting to go away. He finally pulled his head back out of the window and saw why. Iceman had covered the doorway in a sheet of ice to block the scent in.
However, Bobby Drake waved a hand over his nose and made a face.
"You guys stink," he said.
"Thanks for pointing that out," Peter said dryly. "Next time we'll try to avoid getting hit by a stink bomb."
"You think that's what it was?" Lifeline asked. The thought of it irritated him. He'd done nothing to either man, well….save kicking them outside, but that had been provoked!
"I'll look into it," Iceman said. "You guys have classes soon, right?" Both men nodded. Bobby Drake muttered under his breath while the two substitute teachers looked at each other.
"You do realize that this means war, right?" Spiderman asked. Lifeline fought an internal battle before the angry part of himself gave in.
"What do you have in mind?" he asked. Peter grinned wickedly. Edwin was somewhat wary to know what the other man was plotting.
"Meet me after the next class," Spiderman told him. "I think we need to give them a taste of their own medicine."
"We don't know which one it was," Edwin pointed out. The superhero shrugged and told him it didn't matter. If both of them were willing to work together that morning, then it wouldn't stop them from doing it again. Even though Lifeline mentioned that Beach Head was getting ready to teach his P.E. class, Peter Parker still seemed convinced that the ranger was somehow in on it.
Lifeline decided to let it go. Regardless of who was responsible, Edwin was fairly sure that it had been unnecessary to make him suffer. He hadn't been the one who had put spider webs over all the doors. No, that had been Peter's doing. As far as Edwin was concerned, he had been unfairly targeted for defending his right to sleep without verbal interference. And since he was sure that Beach Head wasn't involved in this little stunt, that only left one culprit.
Therefore, a Cajun must pay.
Time: 09:47, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Cable was silently studying a set of files when Bishop walked in. Nathan Summers nodded to him before turning back to look at the computer. Nick Fury and General Hawk had slipped the X-Men their files on Cobra under the table. Both men had reasoned that the mutant team needed to be informed, even if a group of generals known as the Jugglers had disagreed.
"Anything interesting?" Bishop asked. The former police officer looked over Cable's shoulder. The older mutant was currently reading a file on the Baroness.
"It's all interesting," Nathan replied. "We should have been tracking Cobra long ago." Silence returned as Bishop continued to read over his shoulder. Finally, the other man decided to emulate Cable and start reading through the files as well. Lucas Bishop sat down at a nearby computer console and pulled up the Cobra files. The man read silently for about twenty minutes before speaking again.
"So from what the Joes can tell, the Baroness is a mutant?" Bishop asked.
"So are the Crimson twins," Cable replied. A curious Bishop opened another file. He'd heard Warren Worthington mention the twins after his disastrous meeting, but he knew nothing more. About a minute passed before a flash of surprise and recognition shot through Cable's mind. Nathan narrowed his eyes and turned around to look at Lucas. The other mutant was staring at a photograph of two identical men.
"You know them?" Cable asked. Nathan felt the hesitation in Bishop's mind as he continued to scrutinize the photo. Lucas seemed more focused on the man with the scar on his face.
"I…I don't know," Bishop admitted. "The one with the scar looks like kind of like a guy I used to know, but I'm not sure. The man I knew was a lot older." There was a puzzled look on his face as he stared at the computer screen. Cable reached into his mind to see what who he meant. He soon found the image of an elderly man with a scarred face. The man, as Lucas remembered him, had been in surprisingly good shape for his age. Like all mutants of Bishop's era, he'd also had an 'M' branded over his right eye.
"He was in the concentration camp with you," Cable stated. An annoyed look flashed across Bishop's face at having his mind read so easily. His annoyance disappeared as he sighed. It was replaced by doubt and…fear?
"We never knew his real name," Bishop shrugged. "He went by the name of Seeker. All the kids called him Grandpa Seeker or Old Man Seeker." Cable suddenly realized where the sensation of fear had come from. Lucas had liked and respected the old man he remembered. He didn't want to think that Seeker and Xamot might be the same person.
"The scar's on the same cheek," Cable pointed out. However, that didn't necessarily mean it was the same man. It was certainly hard to tell due to the distance in age plus the fact that it had been years since Bishop had seen him. The image in his mind might be slightly inaccurate. Besides, Bishop technically wouldn't be born until about eighty years from now.
Again though, that didn't necessarily mean anything. Most mutants tended to age slower than normal humans, even if not as slowly as mutants like Wolverine.
"What happened to him?" Nathan asked quietly. Bishop shrugged, but he still seemed uncomfortable. In his mind, Cable saw a young Bishop, his sister, and two other children sitting and chatting with an elderly man. Whoever Seeker really was, Bishop had obviously seen him as a surrogate grandfather growing up.
"He…was killed," Bishop replied. A deep feeling of guilt ran through the man. "Shard and I….and a friend...we stole food from the storehouse. Our grandmother was sick and…" he paused and tried to push down the surge of emotion building inside of him. "And we wanted to help her."
"You were caught," Cable said. The other man nodded before continuing.
"Seeker…took the blame and convinced the guards to beat him instead of us and…" Bishop trailed off, clearly upset by the memory. Cable didn't ask him to continue. Even without telepathy, he would have guessed what came next. The elderly man hadn't been able to survive the injuries and had died from them. He watched as Bishop stared at the opposite wall, unable to look at him.
"Do you know what his powers were?" Cable finally asked. Xamot had shown signs that he had a hypnosis ability as well as some basic empathic skills. Bishop shook his head and explained that Seeker had been depowered when he'd first been thrown into the concentration camp. He didn't know what the man's mutant powers had been. The old man had apparently been rather tight lipped about his past and had spoken rarely about it.
"He…" Bishop hesitated. "He told us once that the concentration camps were his punishment, but that the rest of us didn't deserve to be there. I never understood what he meant." Unspoken was Bishop's thought that no one had deserved to be locked up in the camps.
"I wonder…" the other man murmured to himself, lost in thought. "Maybe it is…"
Cable didn't say anything and Bishop decided not to volunteer any more information. The two men sat in silence as a troubled Lucas Bishop continued to look at the photograph of the Corsican twins. From time to time, Bishop muttered to himself and shook his head. After a while, the other mutant finally closed the file and opened a different one.
Nathan Summers contemplated this new information for a while. If Bishop's suspicion was correct, then it needed to be taken into consideration. Of course, the futures that he and Bishop were from were now alternate futures. Cable wasn't sure how much they could really continue to use their knowledge of 'future' events in the timeline they were in.
He opened the Crimson twin's file and found the photo that Bishop had been looking at. Cable isolated Xamot's face, cropped it, and zoomed in. The mutant typed a few commands in the computer and watched as it analyzed the image for a few minutes. After the analysis was completed, Cable ordered the computer to generate an aged version of the man's face.
Wrinkles formed on Xamot's face as his hair whitened. Cable added an 'M' brand over the man's right eye.
"If you met them," Cable said, looking at the new image. "Would you be able to tell if it was really him?" Bishop shrugged over at his side. He didn't seem happy that Nathan had brought the subject up again.
"I don't know," he replied, still not looking at him. Nathan knew that the Seeker revelation was bringing back memories that Bishop would rather not think about.
"And if he is Seeker?" Cable questioned. The X-Men were going to have further encounters with Cobra. He needed to know what Bishop would do.
"I don't think he is," Bishop replied, trying to sound confident. However, Nathan easily felt the doubt and dismay in his mind.
"But if he is?" Nathan persisted, motioning to his computer screen. Bishop gave him a curious look before walking over to see what he wanted. There was an uncomfortable silence as the other man stared at the computer generated image. Even with some slight differences, the similarity between the computer image and Bishop's memory were striking. Another flash of guilt ripped through the other man.
"I won't kill Seeker," Bishop finally said. "And I won't let anyone else either…at least…if it is him." There was a note of resignation in his voice and Cable could feel the pain in his mind. Deep inside the man was a need for answers and Nathan suddenly realized that Bishop intended to get them. How Lucas intended to get them, Cable wasn't sure.
The man silently left the room. Cable sincerely hoped that he wouldn't do anything stupid, as Bishop had a tendency to be hot headed. He felt after the man's mind and relaxed. Bishop just wanted time alone to think. There didn't seem to be any plans to charge off to Extensive Enterprises, although that wouldn't surprise Nathan.
Cable studied the computer generated image before saving it. The question now, of course, was whether or not he should talk to Xavier or his parents about it. For the time being, Nathan Summers decided to talk to Bishop about it again later before making a decision.
He looked at the image one more time before closing it.
Time: 10:50, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Gambit did his best not to laugh hysterically as an annoyed looking Shadowcat glared at him. In her hands lay the remnants of a carefully crafted stink bomb. The Cajun did his best to look positively innocent, but Kitty Pryde didn't seem to be buying it.
"I know you and Beach Head were behind this," she said. Gambit blinked a moment before giving an indignant huff. She thought that the ranger helped him? How dare she believe that such a brilliant scheme was partially Beach Head's doing when it was all obviously his!
Of course, if Gambit insinuated that the ranger had helped, then it would spread the blame and get him into trouble as well.
"And who says we were?" he replied cheekily. Kitty scowled at him, knowing full well that asking one of the telepaths to scan him was impossible. Gambit had been rather blessed by the fact that his mutant abilities made him resistant to telepathic intrusions. And of course, being the former thief that he was, Remy LeBeau had left absolutely no physical evidence to connect him to the said stink bomb.
Shadowcat finally gave up trying to get information out of him and phased through the floor. Remy cheerfully hummed to himself as he crawled out of a window and climbed up to the roof. A certain P.E. class was about to begin and Gambit wasn't about to miss the show.
When he reached the top of the mansion, he was surprised to see Bishop lying on his back and staring up at the sky. Remy debated on whether or not he should disturb the man, as the two of them had only recently begun to get along. In the end, he decided to go along with his original plan. After all, the roof really was the best vantage point to watch the show.
"What're you doing up here?" Bishop asked suspiciously. Gambit shrugged as he pointed down to a group of students gathering behind the school. A tall figure, dressed in fatigues and battle armor was barking at the talking teenagers. The balaclava was missing, mainly because Storm wouldn't let him wear it while teaching the class.
"Alright you dang pogues, stop talking and get in line!" the ranger shouted. The students immediately shut up and looked at each other warily.
"You got a hearing problem?" Beach Head barked. "I said get in line!" The students scrambled into a line. The line apparently didn't meet the ranger's approval, as he spent the next five minutes forcing them into a neater one.
"That's why Gambit's here," the Cajun finally said. "Dis is gonna be a good show."
Bishop looked at him and back down at the scene. He shook his head, but he smirked as he did it. The time traveler scooted closer to the edge of the roof and Gambit grinned. Even ol' sourpuss Bishop knew that it was going to a show worth watching.
"This ought to be good," Bishop said. Gambit snickered as he sat next to the other man. They sat and watched as the ranger ordered the teenagers to drop and give him fifty. Beach Head soon realized that for the students with no enhanced strength, the number was too high. For others, it was too low. The somewhat frustrated man finally ordered the ones with superstrength to do one hundred while the others did twenty five. That of course led to complaints of 'that's not fair,' or to students trying to hide their strength.
Which proved useless, of course, when your instructor was an empath and a low range telepath. The ones who had tried to fake were forced to do twice as many pushups.
"Alright you pogues! Three laps around the school grounds!" Beach Head bellowed. Many of the students groaned. Remy watched as a couple grinned and then disappeared with a flash. A wind circled the school and an instant later, they were standing next to the sergeant major.
"What the hell are you doing?" the ranger barked. Both teenagers grinned at him.
"We already did our laps," they answered. Beach Head stared at them a moment before sighing and pointing down the road.
"Two miles that way and then back," he ordered. The teenagers vanished and were back a few seconds later. Beach Head smacked his head and bit back a curse. From Gambit and Bishop's vantage point, they watched as one of the teenagers began to teleport her way around the mansion.
The ranger was none too happy when she appeared next to him.
"All done Professor," she said cheerfully. Remy snickered to himself as Beach Head began to question the girl. The expression on his face when he realized that she'd cheated and teleported was priceless. The irritated man ordered her to start over.
"They got to use their powers," she whined, referring to the two students with superspeed. "Why can't I?"
"They ain't done yet," Beach Head told her. "Now start over!" The girl scowled as she took off around the school grounds again. The ranger rounded on the two students still grinning at him. The fact that neither one appeared afraid of him appeared to irk the man.
"As for you two…" he started. The ranger nearly jumped when a boy walked out of the outer school wall. The teenager had decided to take a short cut through the school in the hopes of getting out of running. Another interrogation commenced and the male student was forced to start over as well.
Gambit could practically hear the man grinding his teeth as he rounded on the two teenagers. Beach Head studied them for a long moment before pointing to the road again.
"The two of you get to play tag," the ranger finally ordered. "And you get to keep running until I say stop." The grins on teenagers' faces widened. Beach Head seemed annoyed that it was the only thing he could come up with. The students took off and began to zip around the school grounds. Meanwhile, the other students continued to circle the school. Some of the quicker and more agile ones loped easily around it. Others staggered on at a more 'normal' pace.
One girl came to a stop as she gasped for breath. Beach Head walked up to her and she tensed up. The ranger crossed his arms and stared at her.
"How many laps have you done?" he asked.
"Two," she answered, still bent over.
"Then stop lollygaggin' and get moving!" the ranger shouted. To the man's shock, the girl suddenly burst into tears.
"A hell," Beach Head swore. "Stop…just stop…"
"Good job Beach Head!" Gambit shouted. The ranger froze and turned his head to glare up at the two men on the roof. Remy gave him an 'I told you so' look while Bishop simply sat and watched. Beach Head gritted his teeth and looked back down at the girl. The man looked distinctly uncomfortable and Gambit almost felt sorry for him.
Almost.
"How many more kids do you think he can make cry?" Bishop asked. Gambit grinned slightly as he eyed the other man.
"You willing to bet?" the Cajun asked. Lucas Bishop pulled out his wallet and waved a ten dollar bill at the former thief.
"Ten says he makes two more cry," the time traveler said. Remy snorted at such a paltry number. He put twenty dollars in Beach Head making at least four more cry.
As it turned out, the ranger was still struggling with his single, crying student.
"Stop crying! Cryin' ain't gonna help!" Beach Head barked. "That ain't gonna help you if…"
The girl began to cry harder and she wrapped her arms around the shocked sergeant major. The teenager bawled into his chest and Beach Head seemed at a loss of what to do. His shoulders slumped slightly for a few awkward moments before he finally threw his hands up into the air.
"Fine," the ranger shouted. "You can walk the last one." It took him about another minute to pry the girl off and send her on her way. Beach Head stared after her and his body sagged slightly. A little voice in Gambit's head suggested that he help the man out, but the stubborn part of himself that enjoyed seeing him suffer pushed it away. The ranger had walked into the whole mess on his own. In Gambit's opinion, he needed a little humility.
Even so…
Gambit sighed heavily as he jumped off of the roof. If it wasn't for the fact that Storm had convinced Cyclops to let the ranger run the class, the Cajun wouldn't help it all. Remy honestly wasn't sure what his friend saw in Beach Head, but she seemed to see something.
"Some of the kids haven't manifested any powers yet," Gambit told him. The ranger turned around and gave him a suspicious look. The Cajun ignored him as he continued.
"A few have some sort of projectile based powers, one has an elemental affinity for the earth, and at least two have shown signs of developing psionic powers," Remy continued. He was sure the man had figured out the students' other powers by now, so he felt no need to say anything else.
"What do you want?" Beach Head asked, irately. However, his voice didn't seem to have the same fire it usually did. Gambit felt an unexpected stab of pity, which he decided to ignore.
"I don't care about you," the Cajun told him. "But I do care about Storm and the kids." The ranger didn't respond as a several students straggled by. The ones who had already finished walked up to them and Beach Head told them to take a short break.
"If you want to do a better job," Gambit told him, "Then you need to tailor the class to each of their powers. Trying to build endurance the 'army' way isn't going to work. Think about how we train in the Danger Room and apply it to the kids."
The ranger gave him a surprised look and didn't seem to know how to respond. Gambit suspected that the stubborn man had too much pride to admit that he'd needed help. Remy shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and turned around. He didn't expect the man to say thanks, so there was no point in staying and acting like he cared.
"I'll keep that in mind, thanks," the other man muttered. This time, it was Remy's turn to look at him in shock. Had the grumpy bear actually thanked him? Gambit was pretty sure that he'd heard wrong, so he proceeded to climb up the mansion. Bishop shook his head when the former thief sat next to him again.
"You know Cajun…sometimes I think that you might actually be a decent human being," the other man said.
"Shut up Bishop. I didn't see you helping," Gambit retorted. Bishop shrugged and returned to watching the class.
"Alright, we're going to have a mock battle," Beach Head suddenly shouted when all the students had gathered again. "But first, I want to know what all your powers are." The ranger listened as each student told him the abilities she or he had manifested so far. He then divided the students into two groups and did his best to make the teams as equivalent as possible in terms of powers.
"Alright," the ranger said. "Each of your teams has a friend that's been captured by the enemy. Your job is to get them back and to keep the other team from rescuing their friend."
The students looked at each other and back at the sergeant major. Remy, for his own part, wondered which of the students were going to be 'captured.' Surely the ranger wouldn't pick one of the students with no powers, as that wouldn't be fair to them.
"LeBeau, Bishop…get yer butts down here!" the ranger shouted. "You've just been recruited!"
"Like hell I have!" Bishop shouted. "I'm not hel….OWW!"
The time traveler yelped as the ranger yanked him off the roof with his powers and dropped him on the ground. Beach Head glared down at the shocked Lucas Bishop.
"Guess what sunshine, you're a POW," Beach Head smirked. He turned to look at the two groups of teenagers before the man could attempt to argue.
"Blue team…Bishop is your guy, but he's been captured by the Red team. Red team, your buddy Gambit is currently being held hostage by the Blues."
Gambit smirked as he hopped back off of the mansion. He'd say this for Beach Head. The man was an insufferable maniac, but at least he had style. The Cajun took off towards the 'Blue' team and began to wail and wave his arms dramatically.
"Lord have mercy, Remy don't want to die! Don't kill Remy!" Gambit hollered. He flopped down on the ground and continued to flail his arms. As long as he had to be a 'prisoner', the Cajun figured that he might as well play the part.
"You hear that?" Beach Head shouted. "Your buddy's dying, so you'd better rescue him. You've got half an hour!"
Remy sat up and watched in amusement as the students quickly huddled around their 'prisoners' and began to concoct how they were going to keep them from getting rescued, as well as rescue their own 'teammate.' A scowling Bishop followed his 'captors' as they moved further down the lawn to establish a base.
Huh. Maybe Beach Face wasn't so bad after all. Anyone who could bully Bishop into doing something he didn't want to do deserved at least a little respect. Of course, Gambit wasn't about to admit any of this. Wayne Sneeden already had a big enough head.
Remy figured that he'd put a few holes in the man's ego when they met in the Danger Room later. Yep, that sounded like a good plan.
"Help!" Gambit shouted. "Remy's dying!"
The Cajun then proceeded to put on the most convincing 'dying in a painful way' act that he could. Gambit was reasonably sure that he deserved an Oscar for it, but then Beach Head had to ruin it by telling him that he was 'overdoing' it.
However, Remy LeBeau ignored him. He was too busy lying 'comatose' and pretending to be dead. A dead man didn't have to answer to screaming, grumpy bears.
Time: 11:35, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Lifeline carefully studied the students in front of him as he lectured. He still had about ten more minutes of instruction before he put the video on. Several students were nodding off and he was doing his best to keep their attention on him. The medic had walked down one of the aisles a little earlier and had nonchalantly dropped a pencil on the desk of a snoozing teenager. The boy had immediately jumped and given him a deer in the headlights look. Some of his classmates had snickered when he was caught.
Edwin had walked back up to the front of the classroom after that. The boy was making every effort now to at least pay attention, even if he was still bored.
"As we know, enzymes are proteins that can speed up or slow down a chemical reaction," Lifeline said. "And…"
A sudden boom shook the classroom and all of the students jumped. Lifeline could hear Beach Head bellowing outside and somewhere near the ranger he thought he heard Gambit laughing. Several students ran to the window and tried to peer outside.
"And we're going to ignore that," Edwin said firmly. The students sheepishly returned to their seats, but they kept looking over at the windows. Lifeline could clearly hear what sounded like a mock battle raging outside. He finally gave a small sigh and walked over to see what was going on.
By all appearances, Beach Head seemed to have formed his class into two teams. Each team seemed to have a 'base' on the opposite ends of the Mansion's east lawn. A laughing Gambit was sitting in one 'base' while Bishop was scowling at the other one. Lifeline watched it curiously for a microsecond before remembering that he had his own class to teach.
The medic opened a window and stuck his head out.
"Wayne!" He shouted. "Keep it down!"
"Shut up!" Beach Head yelled back. "These kids are on a very important mission and have to rescue their captured comrades!" So that's what was going on. Apparently Gambit and Bishop had been suckered into being 'captured comrades.'
A few of Lifeline's students snickered when the ranger told him to shut up. The medic felt a flash of irritation, as Beach Head's comment had hardly been conducive in establishing order in the classroom. Edwin realized that he should have just ignored everything that was going on outside. However, now that he'd gotten himself involved, he didn't want to back down in front of the listening students.
"Hey Gambit!" Lifeline yelled, knowing that what he was going to say was sure to piss off the ranger. "Why're you waiting around to be rescued when you can just change sides?"
"Okay!" Gambit shouted.
"Dammit Ed!" Beach Head bellowed. Outside, Wayne Sneeden swore as the Cajun decided to 'free' himself and join in the fight against the other team. Lifeline hid a self-satisfied grin as he closed the window and returned to his spot at the front of the class. Most of the teenagers were snickering and a few were giving him admiring looks.
"Alright," Lifeline said, tapping the blackboard. "Back to enzymes."
Time: 13:00, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Beach Head was in somewhat of a better mood when he and Gambit met up in the Danger Room. His class had started out as a complete disaster, but the ranger had managed to salvage it about midway through. Even so, Wayne was still unhappy with how things had gone. He'd sought out Storm during lunch and had tried to apologize. Ororo Munroe, however, wouldn't have any of it. She'd told him that it had only been his first class, so mistakes were to be expected. The woman had then pointed out that he'd taken steps to address the problems he'd been having and had adjusted the class accordingly. If Wayne wanted to try teaching another class, Storm was more than willing to vouch for him.
Wayne felt comforted by the fact that Storm was apparently willing to fight for him. It was the true mark of a commander that she was willing to look out for her subordinates. In some ways, she rather reminded him of Hawk.
"So what're we doing today Professor?" Gambit asked. The two men were currently standing in the so far empty room. Beach Head could feel Charles Xavier's presence up in the control booth; however, the older man was masking his emotions. Wayne didn't like not being able to read people. Both Storm and Gambit were immune to telepathic scans. That fact didn't exactly help him to deal with the Cajun.
"Today you're focusing on teamwork," the professor answered. The two men scowled slightly at that. Wayne watched as the room shimmered and waited for the holographic simulation to begin. He sucked in his breath when he was suddenly standing in an underground tunnel.
No no no! Anything but…!
Wayne closed his eyes and forced himself to breath. Both Psyche Out and Snake Eyes had taught him breathing exercises and the ranger made himself use one. He focused on breathing in and out and tried to calm his heart, which had started to beat a little faster. It was just a tunnel, not even a real tunnel, which happened to be underground. There was nothing to be….
"You okay?" Gambit asked, giving him a strange look. Beach Head nodded and tried to glare at the Cajun. The last thing he needed was to lose his composure in front of the man. The ranger did his best to push away the nauseous feeling in his stomach.
"Fine," Wayne answered. Inwardly, he cursed both himself and the professor. Why did Xavier have to choose a place that was guaranteed to provoke a claustrophobic attack? The ranger still had problems dealing with a closed room.
Beach Head studied their surroundings. So far nothing dangerous had appeared to attack him. It was just him and Gambit standing alone in a long, dark tunnel. Underground.
Wayne shuddered.
"You sure you're okay?" Gambit asked again. The man almost seemed concerned, but Wayne told himself that he couldn't possibly be.
"Ah said Ah'm fine," he snapped. The Cajun shrugged, but he was still eyeing the ranger out of the corner of his eyes. Wayne realized that his breathing had sped up and he forced himself to take slow and deep breaths. He wasn't going to have a panic attack, he wasn't.
"Your mission is simple," Charles Xavier told them. "You are trapped a few miles underground and are trying to get up to the surface. You are in the remnants of an enemy base that will explode in twenty minutes."
"Fun," Gambit muttered. Beach Head didn't say anything. He was too busy trying not to sweat.
"Good luck," the professor said. Both men sighed as they began to move quickly down the tunnel. If they were trapped a few miles down, then they needed to find a way up. As they jogged through the abandoned base, the enclosed tunnel began to feel more and more imposing. Beach Head finally stopped to catch his breath. He placed one hand on the wall to study himself.
Son of a bitch. This wasn't happening. If this was a real situation, he might very well get killed.
"Beach Head? What're you…" Gambit trailed off when he stopped to look back at the ranger. Beach Head forced himself to keep moving, even if it was at a very slow pace. The Cajun stared at him as Wayne continued to lean against the wall and walk.
"Are you claustrophobic?" the man finally asked when he got closer. Beach Head looked at him for a moment before looking away. Damn Xavier. The last thing Wayne wanted was to appear weak in front of Remy LeBeau.
"Yes," Wayne muttered. There was no point in lying about it. He waited for inevitable mockery, but it didn't come. Instead, Gambit sighed to himself and to Wayne's surprise, he grabbed his arm and pulled him away from the wall.
"Storm's claustrophobic too," the Cajun told him. "Come on…you're not going to get out of here by yourself." After Beach Head processed the surprising news that Storm was claustrophobic as well, he reluctantly admitted that the other man had a point. He swallowed his pride and allowed the Cajun to help him down the tunnel.
"You think we'll actually make it out in twenty minutes?" Beach Head asked. The Cajun at his side shrugged his shoulders.
"Don't know," Gambit replied.
Neither man said much after that. They managed to find an abandoned elevator shaft, which of course meant they would have to climb up it. Wayne had frozen for a long moment as he vividly remembered the last time he'd been in an elevator. The ranger had stared up into it and wondered if he even had the strength to climb it. Considering that he was in a 'life and death' situation, it didn't take long to weigh his options.
Climbing had been slow however, and Wayne had frozen again part way up it. Gambit had ended up hauling him part way up the shaft, even though it slowed down his own climbing. It was surprising how twenty minutes both flew by too quickly, yet somehow had seemed to be an eternity.
As it turned out, the two men weren't able to make it out of the abandoned base. The simulation came to a halt as the entire underground compound began to shake and cave in on itself. Wayne shuddered as the Danger Room rematerialized into a large, empty room. If the simulation had been real, then he and Gambit would be dead now. Wayne had barely been able to concentrate on using his powers and he'd effectively been rendered powerless during the training session.
"Dis isn't what Remy expected de afterlife to look like," Gambit quipped. "It's rather dull, non?"
Beach Head didn't answer. He was still too shaken up from the whole experience, as well as the fact that he'd potentially killed a teammate, even if it was Remy LeBeau.
"I'm sorry Wayne," Professor Xavier told him from the control booth. "I know you're not happy with the simulation I chose, but there was a point to it."
"I know," Beach Head replied sullenly. The situation certainly had forced the two men to work together. It had also forced the ranger to deal with his phobia in a potential real life situation. That didn't mean he had to like it however, even if he did understand the rationale behind it.
"The two of you may continue to train if you wish," the professor told him. "There are other matters I need to attend to. You may use whatever program you wish to." Beach Head felt the X-Men's leader leave the control booth and he looked over at Gambit.
The two men studied each other for a long time. Both of them seemed to be debating how they should deal with the other. Wayne, for his own part, was reluctantly realizing that the Cajun wasn't as self-centered as he'd thought. Even though it had only been a simulation, Gambit could have mocked him or left him behind. He'd done neither of those and as much as Wayne wanted to believe it was only because the professor had been watching, he couldn't deny the fact that Gambit had seemed genuinely sympathetic.
"You feel like fighting?" Gambit finally asked. "Wolverine and I both have some good training programs." Beach Head shrugged and nodded. After how tense the tunnel had made him, he was more than ready to blow off some steam by beating up actual physical enemies. He'd had enough psychological warfare for one day.
"What do you have in mind?" the ranger asked. The Cajun smirked as he flipped out a quarterstaff. Beach Head was somewhat jealous of the fact that he had a portable, retractable weapon. Wayne would rather rely on his powers and guns, but if he had to choose another weapon, then it would be a quarterstaff. They were far more sensible weapons than swords.
"Gambit and Wolverine training program, number seven," Gambit said.
"Initiating Gambit and Wolverine training program number seven," the Danger Room voice said. The room's walls shimmered and were replaced by a very realistic looking swamp. A group of mutants appeared and all of them glowered at the two men.
"What the hell do we have here boys?" one of the mutants asked.
"Hey Beach Head," Gambit said. "Remy would like to introduce you to Pyro, Toad, Mystique, and Domino."
The mutant named Pyro held out his hands and shot a wall of flame at the two men. Both men jumped out of the way and Beach Head knocked the man back with a telekinetic blow. As he did that, the one named Toad jumped in front of him and kicked him in the face. A prehensile tongue wrapped itself around the ranger's ankle and threw towards one of the other mutants.
Beach Head concentrated and managed to shove the two women out of the way before he landed by them. He threw up a very weak psionic shield as Pyro shot fire at him again. The shield shattered after a few seconds, but Wayne was still pleased that he'd been able to do it all.
As Gambit threw a charged card at Pyro, Wayne levitated Mystique and dunked her into the swamp. A spray of bullets from Domino forced both men to take cover. However, another charged card sent the holographic woman diving for cover.
Wayne grinned as he levitated the swamp water and dumped it on Pyro. This was more like it. Beach Head broke a tree in half and tossed at one of the mutants. His telekinetic powers had increased after having all of the mental blocks removed, even if he wasn't anywhere near Jean Grey's level. His telepathic range had increased slightly as well. Instead of having to be within a few feet to pick up thoughts, he could now 'hear' them up to the range of a small room. As far as he could tell, his empathic range of a few miles had stayed the same.
However, these increases in ability still required a lot of training. If Wayne had been paying attention to anything other than the four holographic projections in front of him, he'd have noticed that two figures had slipped into the Danger Room's control room.
Time: 13:42, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
"Are you sure about this?" Lifeline asked hesitantly. Peter Parker grinned as he sat down at the Danger Room's monitoring station. The two men had been waiting for the control booth to be vacated and had snuck in as soon as Xavier had left. Edwin watched as Beach Head and Gambit battled four holographic mutants in the battle simulator.
"Of course I'm sure," Peter replied confidently. "They have this coming."
"I still don't think Wayne was involved with the stink bomb," Lifeline told him. Spiderman shrugged as he studied the computer system.
"I've only been here two days and I'm already tired of being woken up at an ungodly hour of the morning," the superhero replied. "This is revenge."
Lifeline struggled with the pros and cons of their plan. The two men had met during lunch to discuss, or plot as Peter had called it, what they were going to do about a certain duo. Edwin had overheard that Beach Head and Gambit were going to be training in the Danger Room and had made the mistake of mentioning it to Peter. The webslinger's eyes had lit up and thus the brilliant plan of sabotaging the Danger Room had been born.
The medic still wasn't too sure about the whole scheme, especially since he really didn't want to put Beach Head in the middle of it. If it had just been Gambit, he honestly wouldn't have cared…at least not too much.
"Come on Ed…don't back out on me now," Spiderman told him. "We don't know if the professor's coming back or not."
"Fine," Lifeline sighed. He'd already agreed to it, as long as the plan didn't involve violence. Peter had pointed out earlier that it was the Danger Room, so it automatically involved violence. An annoyed Lifeline, determined to prove the webslinger wrong, had concocted a way to use the battle simulator without breaching his pacifism.
Peter had found his idea hysterical. So now, since it was actually his plan, Edwin Steen was involved whether he liked it or not.
The medic watched as the holographic swamp in the Danger Room disappeared and was replaced by a Barbie dream world gone wrong. Pink and purple houses, cars, and even pink grass covered the battle simulator. A white unicorn ran in front of two astonished mutants as several Care Bears tried to hug them.
"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?" Beach Head bellowed. The ranger punched one of the Care Bears while Gambit kicked another one. More Care Bears materialized and proceeded to try hugging the men. By now, Remy LeBeau was screaming bloody murder as well.
"Should we add the Sesame Street characters now?" Peter asked. Lifeline watched the 'battle' raging between two annoyed mutants and an army of Care Bears. A snort escaped his lips and before the medic knew it, he and the other man were laughing hysterically.
"Yes," Lifeline managed between laughs. Spiderman typed a few commands into the computer and several Sesame Street characters materialized in the Danger Room. A very shocked ranger gaped as Big Bird suddenly appeared behind him.
"Arrgh!" Beach Head yelled, jumping in surprise. Remy began to laugh hysterically, at least until the Cookie Monster tried to hug him. The Cajun swore in French and ducked down to elude a monster hug. He dashed around to the other side of Beach Head and tried to hide behind the larger man.
"What the hell are you….stop trying to hide behind me!" Wayne yelled. "Ah ain't a damn human shield!"
"He's trying to touch me!" Gambit retorted.
"Then blow him up!" Beach Head shot back.
"Ah can't kill the Cookie Monster!"
The ranger rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air. Beach Head swore incoherently a moment before he levitated the Cookie Monster and Big Bird. Both Sesame Street characters were thrown across the pink landscape and several Care Bears squeaked when they found themselves buried under the impromptu missiles.
"You can't do that!" the Cajun shouted. "You just…you…you killed Big Bird and Cookie Monster!"
Edwin Steen and Peter Parker were both now incapacitated due to uncontrollable laughter. Spiderman blinked tears away as he typed in another command. This time, Mickey and Minnie Mouse appeared.
"Hiya boys!" Mickey said cheerfully. "Want to go shopping with us?"
"YAARRGH!" Gambit yelled. This time, the Cajun took the initiative and dropkicked Mickey in the face. Mickey lay comatose on the ground while Minnie shrieked. The female mouse whacked the mutant in the head with her purse. A dazed Remy LeBeau blinked as Beach Head levitated the mouse and telekinetically threw her into a pink house.
"You won't kill Big Bird but you'll beat up Mickey?" the ranger asked. Gambit shrugged as the Care Bears began to run towards them again.
"Remy hates Mickey," the Cajun explained. "He's too annoying."
"Whatever," Beach Head replied. "Now I just gotta figure out who…LIFELINE? PARKER!"
"Dat's who it is?" the shocked Gambit asked. The Cajun gaped up at the control booth before charging a card.
"Dat's it, dis is war," Remy LeBeau said. He threw the card at the control room. It didn't do more than make the room shake slightly, due to the protective cover around it. Still, it made it quite clear that both Remy LeBeau and Wayne Sneeden were out for blood.
"I think we should get going now," Lifeline said. "We should probably keep the program running another few minutes so we can get a head start." Peter nodded his head in agreement and typed a few more commands into the simulator. A hot pink car appeared with three life-sized Barbies inside of it. Lifeline raised an eyebrow as the superhero got out of the chair.
"I couldn't resist," Peter answered. "I've set it so it'll automatically shut off in five minutes."
With that, the two heroes made a very hasty exit. They debated if they should hide off of the school grounds, but both men dismissed it as cowardly…even though hiding out at the Avenger compound had sounded appealing. Instead, both men went for the next best option.
They sought out Ororo Munroe. If she couldn't protect them, then no one could.
Time: 14:01, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Ororo Munroe and Jean Grey were sitting and chatting quietly at the kitchen table when two, very anxious looking men rushed in. A sheepish looking Edwin Steen and Peter Parker tried and failed to look nonchalant as they walked over to the refrigerator.
"We're not going to protect you," Jean Grey said, reading their minds. The two men froze and Storm gave her a questioning look. An amused Jean explained what had happened in the Danger Room while the two men tried to justify why they'd felt the need to sabotage the battle simulator.
Ororo Munroe gave a wry smile as she took a sip of hot tea. Angry and surprised shouts began to be heard in the distance and the two loudest ones belonged to a pair of Southerners. Lifeline shifted uneasily as he scooted behind Storm's chair. Peter Parker looked around the room before he decided to jump up to the ceiling. The webslinger hung upside down as he and the GI Joe medic waiting for the incoming Apocalypse.
"So much for super strength and speed," Jean observed dryly. Storm calmly read her novel as the two men continued to edge themselves closer to the two women. There was loud bang as the kitchen door slammed open. Two other men ran into the room and stared red faced at their tormentors.
"YOU!" Gambit bellowed, pointing an accusing finger at the two men. He and an equally pissed Beach Head glared at them.
"It was retaliation for the stink bomb!" Peter shouted.
"What stink bomb?" a clueless Beach Head asked.
"I told you he wasn't involved Peter!" Lifeline yelled.
"WHAT stink bomb?" Beach Head asked again, raising his voice above the others.
"GAMBIT!" Peter shouted.
"WHAT?" the ranger shouted, growing pissed that he was obviously out of the loop.
"He threw a stink bomb at us!" Lifeline replied, trying to defend himself.
"SO YOU INVOLVED ME?" Wayne Sneeden shouted. The ranger looked positively livid. Ororo took another sip of tea and looked over at the four men.
"Take it outside," she told them. The men froze and stared at her. Ororo gave them a stern 'look' before returning to her novel. Lifeline, Spiderman, Beach Head, and Gambit looked at each other a moment before obediently leaving the room. After the four men left, Jean and Storm began to snicker quietly. Moments later, the sounds of female laughter filled the kitchen.
A poof and the smell of brimstone filled the room as they were still laughing. A puzzled Kurt Wager looked at each woman before scratching his head.
"What's so funny?" he asked. An amused Jean Grey sent him a burst of telepathic information. Nightcrawler stood quietly as he processed it. When he finally understood what had happened, a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes.
"I've got to go," the German mutant said. He vanished a moment later with a 'bamf'. Ororo raised an eyebrow as she looked at her red haired friend.
"Do I want to know what he has planned?" she asked. Jean shook her head in reply.
"Let's just say that we'll be lucky if the mansion doesn't get blown up today," she answered. Storm felt a flash of alarm. With a sigh, she stood up and walked out of the kitchen. Someone had to make sure that the boys didn't get out of hand.
Time: 14:12, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Beach Head and Gambit were screaming like a couple of maniacs outside when Kurt Wagner showed up. The blue mutant watched as Lifeline and Spiderman took refuge on top of the roof. His tail twitched as he thought about how to best defuse the situation. Nightcrawler came to the conclusion that spreading the chaos was the best way to deal with two very enraged men.
He vanished with a 'bamf' and appeared behind a very surprised Peter Parker. Kurt grinned as he wrapped his arms around the man's chest and teleported them away from the roof. An instant later, he teleported Peter Parker into the X-Men's pool.
Indignant cursing could be heard as a laughing Nightcrawler vanished. Kurt had been saving that move for Storm Shadow when he came back, but he hadn't been able to resist using it on Peter. The blue mutant teleported back inside the mansion. Laughter and angry bellowing could be heard outside of the school. Kurt chuckled to himself as he went in search of a potential ally.
"Kitty!" Nightcrawler called out, catching sight of a woman ahead of him. "Want to help me?"
"Help you do what?" Kitty Pryde asked. A grinning Kurt explained his plan and easily convinced the woman to help him. He grabbed one of her arms and teleported the two of them outside. The chaos level had escalated in the few minutes that he'd been away.
"YOU'RE DEAD ED, DO YOU HEAR ME!" Beach Head bellowed. A certain medic was floating high up into the air as a ranger continued to shout dire threats at him. Meanwhile an irritated Gambit was charging rocks and throwing them at an equally irritated, but wet, Peter Parker.
"Kurt!" Peter shouted, noticing that the blue mutant was back. Kitty made the two of them intangible as a spider web shot at them. A swearing Spiderman watched as they phased through the ground and turned invisible. The superhero looked wildly around as the two conspirators snuck up next to him.
Peter Parker gave an undignified yelp when his clothes were suddenly ripped off. He gaped as a grinning Kitty Pryde materialized in front of him, with his shirt and pants in her hands. Peter sputtered as she vanished again. Kurt Wagner gave him a mock salute and teleported away.
There was another male squawk a few moments later as Wayne Sneeden found his clothes being torn off by an invisible Kitty Pryde. Gambit's came off several seconds later. The two men gaped at the other. The Cajun was wearing briefs while the other was wearing some sort of black short shorts.
"What de hell are you wearing?" Gambit shouted.
"They're called ranger panties!" a red faced Beach Head answered. "They're standard issue for rangers!"
"Are you fucking kidding me?" The Cajun shouted back.
"Hey, what's going on?" a feminine Southern voice asked. The men looked up into the air to see an amused Rogue ogling all of them. The Southern belle seemed on the verge of drooling.
"Rogue!" An invisible Kitty Pryde shouted. "Help me get Lifeline!"
A shocked medic suddenly looked very wary as a grinning female turned to look at him. Lifeline shot up into the sky with a determined Rogue hot on his tail. As two figures began to zip around the sky and the school grounds, an annoyed Wayne Sneeden finally realized what had happened.
"GET PRYDE!" the ranger bellowed.
"How?" Gambit asked. "We can't get her if we can't touch her!"
"I don't know, just…."
"What the hell is this, a damn striptease?" Banshee shouted. The Irishman was standing on the school steps and staring at the other men as if they were insane. He was immediately answered by a chorus of 'No!'
As Sean Cassidy attempted to decipher the various shouts and cursing, an invisible hand reached out, gripped his shirts and pants, and phased them off of his body. The Irishman looked down and blanched when he discovered that he was now only dressed in boxers and a pair of sneakers.
"It's Kitty!" Peter Parker shouted. Banshee blushed as he dashed back into the mansion. He brushed by a surprised Storm, who had come out to see what was going on. The Weather Goddess calmly surveyed the scene. Beach Head and Gambit began to complain the moment they saw her.
Storm chuckled to herself as she raised a hand to the sky. A cold wind suddenly began to blow and snowflakes began to fall. Dismayed male shouting greeted the unexpected change in temperature.
Ororo Munroe watched as Gambit reached down and scooped up a ball of snow. The Cajun expertly formed it into a ball, took aim, and hit Wayne Sneeden's forehead with remarkable precision. An irate ranger levitated the quickly accumulating snow and dumped them on the other man. Storm watched as Beach Head then spotted Peter Parker trying to escape into the mansion. The superhero yelped when the ranger reached out with his mind and pulled him out of an open window.
The ranger then dumped a swearing Spiderman back into the pool.
Ororo Munroe smiled to herself as she walked back into the mansion. As she made her way to her room, a pissed looking Cyclops came barreling down the hallway.
"Storm! What's going on outside?" he asked.
"Just some rowdy boys," Ororo answered innocently. Scott Summers gaped after her as she serenely walked by the man. The X-Men's second in command sighed as he began to run down the hallway again. Whatever the hell was going on outside, he had a sneaking suspicion that Remy LeBeau and Wayne Sneeden were behind it.
That suspicion, however, didn't prepare for the sight of several nearly naked men running around screaming in the snow. Scott Summers stared at the scene and seriously debated just going back inside. His sanity was quickly plummeting, but Cyclops told himself that he needed to be a responsible leader and put a stop to the whole mess.
"Stop!" he ordered. No one listened, as they had suddenly become very concerned with the fact that Bobby Drake had decided to exasperate the situation. The mutant shot ice at the other men, who quickly moved to defend themselves. Cyclops hollered at them again, but his voice continued to fall on deaf ears.
Fuming now, Scott Summers stomped out into the middle of the battlefield. Someone dumped a wall of snow on top of him. Cyclops had a suspicion that the culprit had been Beach Head. When he finally dug himself out of the snow, a sudden 'bamf' and the smell of brimstone alerted him to the fact that things weren't going to go very well.
An instant later, an angry and wet Cyclops was sitting in the mansion's library.
Time: 14:39, Thursday
Location: The Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
Lifeline did his best to elude the woman chasing after him. He was faster and a bit stronger than Rogue, but she was also more accustomed to using her powers. Edwin was starting to get a little out of breath from trying to keep away from the very determined female.
"Come on Lifeline!" Rogue shouted. "It's not like Ah haven't already seen you in your undies anyway!" Edwin's face grew hot at that. Unfortunately, the woman was correct. She'd been the one to ogle him after he lost his clothes during the sentinel fight.
The medic groaned as he zipped over the New York City skyline and flew across the Hudson River. He circled around back towards the mansion with a cheerful Rogue still chasing him. Stupid Peter…this was all his fault! Lifeline vowed never to listen to Peter Parker again.
Edwin looked around for someplace to hide. There had to be somewhere! As he neared the mansion, Lifeline noticed the strange sight of snow falling over the mansion grounds. The medic made the mistake of pausing to contemplate the weirdness of snow falling at the beginning of September.
Rogue tackled him from behind and the two mutants crashed into the school grounds. The ground shook and a small crater formed from the impact. Lifeline groaned as he felt his shirt and pants get ripped off.
"See yah Sugah!" Rogue told him cheerfully. She playfully swatted his butt and flew off. The medic stood up and rubbed his head. At least she was no longer chasing him, so he could sneak back into the school and get another change of clothes. Or…
He watched as Rogue picked up a surprised Beach Head and dumped him on the roof. An equally surprised Warren Worthington III joined him a moment later, with his shirt ripped off as well. Lifeline wasn't sure how the blue mutant had managed to prevent his pants from being stolen.
Or, he pondered, he could get revenge. Lifeline looked around and noticed Piotr Rasputin blissfully painting away on a sheet of canvas, apparently unaware of the events swirling around him. Edwin walked over to him and looked at it. It was a rather lovely painting and if it were any other time, the medic would have taken the time to admire it.
"May I borrow some paint?" he asked politely. Colossus looked up from the painting he been intently working on and looked at the medic. The Russian looked surprised when he noticed the nearly naked mutant standing next to him. He looked even more surprised when he noticed that it was snowing.
"What happened?" Colossus asked.
"In short?" an exasperated Lifeline asked. "Gambit got me and Peter with a stink bomb, so we got revenge by tampering with the Danger Room, so we got chased outside…then Kitty started stealing our clothes and Storm made it snow!" The medic finished his rant with a wave of his hands. An amused Russian raised an eyebrow as he looked over the snowy battlefield.
"Why do you need paint?" Piotr finally asked.
"Rogue chased me and ripped off my clothes," the medic answered. "I want to get her back." The Russian considered that for a moment before standing up. Lifeline watched as his skin hardened into a metal substance.
"Would you like some assistance?" the man smiled. "Rogue can be…a handful at times." Lifeline grinned as the Russian handed him a tube of red paint. Colossus picked out purple and blue paint and then packed the rest of his art supplies away.
Rogue was busy taunting Scott Summers when Lifeline caught her. The medic twisted her arms behind her back and flew down to the ground where Colossus was waiting. The irritated Southerner kicked her legs out and swore at him.
"What're you doin'?" she shouted. "It's not mah fault…"
Lifeline rolled his eyes as he sat on the woman and held her arms down. Colossus held down one of her legs as the two men proceeded to paint her face. Despite their best efforts, the woman somehow managed to get them equally covered in red, purple, and blue paint.
Still, it was rather worth it, considering that they'd managed to get paint in her hair as well. Rogue didn't seem particularly pleased about that and she let them know it.
"Ya gawt paint in mah hair! Do ya know how hawd it is ta wash ought paint?" she shrieked. Lifeline and Colossus backed away, but not quickly enough to avoid being tackled into the snow. The irritated woman screamed at them again in a heavy Southern accent. Lifeline didn't understand the next string of syllables and Beach Head wasn't around to translate for him.
Rogue switched to nonverbal communication as she began to throw snow at them.
Time: 15:00, Thursday
Location: Near the Xavier Institute of Higher Learning
A military issue car drove along an open road and the occupants inside admired the view. The three soldiers discussed events in the GI Joe Pit, as well as what to expect from the X-Men. Psyche-Out, the driver, was scheduled to meet with a very ornery patient at three o'clock. Two Joes who'd had the day off had decided to tag along.
"Uh…guys…is it snowing?" Dusty asked. The car suddenly grew silent as the occupants approached their destination. Wetsuit opened a window and stuck his head outside. The Navy Seal gaped as he saw a monstrous snow battle taking place around a large mansion.
"Uh…is this the right place?" Psyche Out asked.
"Kenneth," Dusty said. "The sign on the gate says 'The Xavier Institute for Higher Learning,' it's snowing, and there's people flying around."
"Right," the psychiatrist muttered. "Stupid question."
The car passed through the school's outer gates and made its way up to a large mansion. Psyche Out stopped the vehicle and he wondered where to park. The rest of the driveway was covered in snow and ice. Several people could be seen running and shouting around the school grounds and several of the men appeared to be almost naked.
"Uh…I'm parking here," Kenneth Rich said. He parked on the side of the driveway and the three Joes got out. They all gaped at the superhuman battle raging around what was supposed to be a school. One of the mutants was shooting ice at a pair of men, one whom leaped high into the air and shot spider webs out of his wrists.
"Uh…" Wetsuit said. There was a sudden 'bamf' sound and a horrid smell drifted around the three soldiers. Dusty jumped when he noticed a blue mutant with a tail sitting on top of the car. The strange man grinned cheerfully at them.
"Welcome to the Xavier Institute for the Criminally Insane," the mutant smirked. "Our newest inmates are having a little bit of trouble getting along."
"Uh…what's going on?" Psyche Out asked. The mutant grinned as he jumped off the car in a neat somersault. He gave them a gallant bow before standing up straight and sticking out a hand.
"Oh not much…" the man answered. "Beach Head and Gambit were on the warpath because Spiderman and Lifeline tampered with the Danger Room, so yours truly decided to intervene and spice things up. The name's Kurt Wagner by the way."
There was a moment of silence as the psychiatrist shook the man's hand. The three Joes stared at each other and back at the school.
"Beach Head did this?" Psyche Out finally stuttered, pointing at the scene. The mutant shook his head and explained again that it had been a united effort. Dusty began to snicker after he got over his shock while Wetsuit and Psyche Out continued to gape at the people running around.
"Excuse me boys," a female voice said. A woman walked through the parked car and stood next to the four males. "I'm looking for a couple of good looking, nearly naked Southern boys."
"She just…." Wetsuit sputtered, trying to get over the shock of seeing a woman walk through a car.
"Yes, Kitty does that," Kurt Wagner grinned. He turned around and pointed back towards the mansion. "As for Beach Head and Gambit…the last time I saw them they were trying to dump Bishop into the pool."
"Okay, thanks," the woman answered. She reached out and nonchalantly pulled the blue mutant's shirt off. Kurt Wagner looked down at his now bare chest as the woman vanished from sight. He shrugged and looked back up at the other men.
"It's not usually like this," the mutant told them cheerfully. "Usually people have their clothes on."
"Uh…well…okay…" Kenneth Rich stammered. "Anyway, I'm here for…"
"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT PETER PARKER!"
The irate voice of Edwin Steen echoed over the school grounds. All three soldiers turned their heads and watched as a man jumped over the mansion and ran like hell. A figure was instantly on him. The said figure picked up the fleeing man and flew off towards the south end of the school. There was a loud splash as Lifeline dropped the man into an ice cold pool.
"NOT AGAIN!" the man wailed. "WOULD YOU PEOPLE STOP DUMPING ME IN THE DAMN POOL!"
"That was Lifeline," Wetsuit stated.
"Excellent observation," Psyche Out said dryly. "I suppose next you'll point out the fact that he had no clothes on."
"He's got underwear on," Kurt Wagner said cheerfully. "And paint. Lots and lots of paint."
"I think I broke my brain," the Navy Seal groaned. Dusty laughed as he slung an arm around the man's shoulder. He slung another arm around the psychiatrist.
"Come on gents, let's go so hi," the desert trooper said. The other two sighed as they prepared to face the onslaught. They made their way up the snow covered driveway with the blue mutant and did their best to avoid getting in the way. A woman with a white streak in her hair and a face covered in paint flew down to greet them.
"Who are they?" she asked.
"Friends of Beach Head and Lifeline," Kurt Wagner answered cheerfully. The woman studied the three men for a long moment before grinning.
"I suppose it wouldn't be nice to steal their shirts, would it?" she asked.
"Nope, sorry," the other mutant answered. "No stripping the guests."
"Darn," she replied. She flew back up into the air to join the fun. The Joes watched as she flew over to where Lifeline was hovering. She spoke with the medic who turned around in surprise. They watched as he smacked his head and landed. An instant later, the medic and a certain ranger were standing with the group of Joes.
"What the…Ed!" Beach Head shouted. "Ah was tryin' to beat up Cajun!"
"Your shrink is here," Lifeline said dryly. The ranger froze when he noticed the three Joes standing next to him. Dusty and Wetsuit grinned and made catcalls at the two, nearly nude Joes. Lifeline and Beach Head both blushed a deep shade of red.
"Uh…yeah…three o'clock appointment," Wayne Sneeden muttered. "I forgot about that…"
"Is this a bad time?" Psyche Out smirked.
"Shut up you danged shrink."
Time: 18:21, Thursday
Location: GI Joe Pit
"You started a prank war?" Tony Stark laughed. Duke's ears perked up at the mention of 'prank war.' He turned warily around to eye the Avenger on the opposite end of the room. A nearly finished prototype of a completely metal free machine gun lay at his feet.
"Beach!" the Avenger shouted into his cell phone. "Why the hell didn't you or Ed call me? You should have…oh be quiet! You know you had fun!"
Duke groaned. What the hell had his sergeant major done now? He hadn't even been with the X-Men for a week.
"Ed did WHAT?" Tony Stark laughed. He listened as Wayne Sneeden spoke on the other end. The Avenger soon began to laugh hysterically. Stark finally told the ranger to let him talk to Lifeline for a few minutes. The man shut up for a few seconds as he waited for the medic to come on.
"Hey Ed, I hear you and Pete sabotaged the Danger Room!" the Avenger exclaimed. "There had better be a recording of that!"
Duke slapped his forehead. What the hell had Lifeline done? He didn't know what the 'Danger Room' was, but it sounded like something that the medic shouldn't have tampered with. He tried to convince himself that it couldn't possibly be as bad as it all sounded.
"A stink bomb?" Tony asked. "He got you with a stink bomb?"
"What the hell happened over there?" Flint asked warily. The warrant officer had stopped working on his report to eavesdrop as well. There was a worried look on the man's face. Psyche Out and the others hadn't returned yet, so neither man knew how things had gone. Duke gave a long suffering sigh in response.
"I don't think I want to know," he answered. A sudden shriek from Tony Stark startled both Joes. The Avenger waved an arm wildly as he ranted into the phone.
"ARRGH! WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU GUYS COME AND GET ME? I CAN'T BELIEVE I MISSED THAT!"
And so, Duke's sanity died for the day.
Author's Note:
"Aille, toi, l'ours grincheux!" means "Hey, you, grumpy bear!"
I'd like to thank Karama9 and willwrite4fics for listening to my muse and helping me with French or Southern speak.