2. A Curse Upon Me

The next dream came this afternoon and felt vaguely prophetic. Once again Londo would give away half his profits for stripping the Centauri race of all precognitive abilities.

'Londo? What is it?' came Vir's anxious question.

Only then Londo was sure he was in his quarters on Babylon 5 and that he just had fallen asleep on the sofa. Vir quietly were doing his reading, not interrupting. A pity, that.

'Nothing, Vir, except it is another time when I would be glad if a dream just stayed a dream. I hate it when they all go and make themselves real, it is usually most inconvenient and disgruntling if you ask me.'

Vir thought about that for a moment, a bit too deeply for Londo's taste.

'You know, I am sure that not all prophetic dreams or visions come true.'

'No, you're right, only the most annoying do. And the most terrifying ones of course.'

'Did you dream about your death?'

'No, Vir, I haven't had that dream for about a year or so now... Strange, but not important. I've dreamt about... well, I'm not sure, in fact. Which is only more irritating. But it was bad and it was on Centauri Prime. That's enough for me to call it a nightmare. It shouldn't have any interest in coming true.'

Vir handed him cup of hot jala, which Londo took with gratitude. He would miss Vir when the time came and he had to become Emperor. He didn't want to. And as a different dream established, he didn't deserve it. But what was most important was that he would take it anyway. Mr Morden words came back to him: you will do it, because you are afraid what someone else would do in your place. It was so true even now, long after Shadows were gone. And someone was doing something wrong right now if the dream was correct.

'Londo, maybe the dreams just want to warn you about something?' said Vir in a bit shy manner. Londo, snapped out of thoughts, looked at him sharply.

Warn of what, that I'm damned? he thought. He didn't say it aloud, but Vir spotted some of it anyway and hurried with explanation.

'I mean, when you know what might happen, you are in better position to avert it.'

'Yeees, only to discover, that I've just done everything in my power to help it come true. Trust me Vir, I know what I'm saying. I and the universe, we have a long history of just that kind of dealings.'

Vir shrugged.

'A prophecy is just a guess that comes true. When it doesn't, it's a metaphor.'

'Yes, yes, you've told me that already.'

'I did?' Vir sounded genuinely surprised.

'Of course, when...' Then it hit him. 'Great Maker, you see?! I've dreamt that you're saying this to me! Here you are, an ultimate proof of dreams coming true!'

'Or about my point being correct.'

'You know, Vir, you've grown entirely too much confident lately. Go trash some stalls and intimidate some Drazi, hm? You can even take my sword again, just go, will you?'

'Fine, Londo, I'll go now, but you'll see that I'm correct. 'Vir stood up, flailing his hands in an exasperated manner. 'Or you won't see, perhaps, if you won't try it yourself...'

Vir left, sighing, and Londo, a tiny bit ashamed, poured himself generous glass of brivari. He drank it all and felt a bit better. Then, of course, some darned minister from homeworld called and ruined the moment forever...

The evening found Londo in Zocalo in the fine company of several colorful Earth drinks.

'I would think you are able to find more creative pastimes, than staring into your drinks, Mollari. For starters, you could actually drink them.'

'Bah! G'Kar! Go away!'

'We, Narns, do not take orders from Centauri, don't you know?' replied G'Kar lightly and ordered a drink for himself.

'Yeees, lucky people, aren't you?'

'You will be soon giving orders all around, Mollari, surely you could appreciate that?'

'There's nothing to appreciate! If I could, I would hop aboard a ship destined to the other side of the galaxy and never back. "Never Back", isn't that a wonderful name for a ship? I've never had the occasion to name any ship, perhaps I will get to do it once I am the Emperor, hm?'

'And would you really do it?'

'What, name a ship? Certainly!'

G'Kar just raised his eyebrows.

'No' admitted Londo. 'I would not. But aren't dreams nice things? Though only those dreamt when we are not asleep. And even then not all of it. They should be called something else. Leave me to my dreams, alright, G'Kar? After all, there is so few pleasant ones left.'

G'Kar, surprisingly, complied, muttering something about meeting with Lyta Alexander, and left Londo alone for, ah, total fifteen minutes. After that time, Mr Garibaldi showed up.

'Is it some kind of a new custom to try to bother me in those few free moments I have?' asked Londo sourly.

'Heard you've had all day free, ambassador.'

'Yeees, what big news' sneered Londo. 'So what, do you want to correct that overlook?

'How would I dare, when you're so clearly not in the mood?'

'How indeed. Excuse my rudeness, Mr Garibaldi, but what do you want of me?'

'Just to see how you're doing. How's state business, Londo? As an Emperor–soon–to–be you must be buried up to your ears with work?'

'My work is nothing of your concern, Mr Garibaldi, just as all recent Alliance matters are clearly not a business of mine. Also, Mr Garibaldi, I don't like the way you are looking at my drinks.'

Perhaps were he not so irked and put out after the talk with the minister earlier, he wouldn't have said that. Perhaps. Or perhaps he would have said it anyway, because Mr Garibaldi was still his friend.

'I do not understand that comment, Londo' said Mr Garibaldi sternly.

'Aah, Mr Garibaldi you're denying. But you do understand, and so I see I was right. I know it all myself, see, I was denying too, and I've got very angry when someone was voicing out a... well, a different point of view. Poor Vir. But I was more and more ashamed, terrified, it spun out of my control too quickly and yet I couldn't make the effort to stop it. And I've made such a mess, not only of myself, but of many, many more lives too. '

'I never recall you ashamed of drinking, Londo.'

'Drinking? Bah! Who's talking about drinking?! Now, excuse me, I'm very busy. I must go, I'll be cleaning up my mess for the rest of my life. Goodnight, Mr Garibaldi!'

Vir was waiting for him in his quarters, busy with paperwork like... like a bee, an ant or some other damn Earth creature.

'And what are you doing here at this time, eh?'

'Just finishing some paperwork, after all when you, you know, I will be here, you know, and I'm trying to learn all I can, while you're still here, see?'

'No, I don't, just trying to decipher your babbling is so hard, that I don't have any energy spared for thinking it over. Make me some hot jala while you're here, would you?'

Londo tossed his jacket carelessly on the floor and made himself comfortable on the sofa.

'I was in Zocalo' he informed Vir offhandedly. 'If you want to learn something, perhaps you should start going to places and listening to the people.'

'Did you listen?'

'Actually, I did all my best to not listen, but some voices still got through. Mr Garibaldi tried to sneak out of me some information about our government, I think. They don't trust us. And back home they also don't trust us. Great Maker, I don't even trust myself. It's all shot down to hell, but then again, it's nothing new, all expected.'

'You're sad, Londo?' asked Vir with a whole palette of emotions on his face. He really should learn to conceal them.

'I'm angry.'

'You're not...'

'Excuse me?' 'Londo reached out to take a cup of jala from Vir and stopped with hands in midair.

'Oh, yes, you are, but you think it's nothing to be changed, so it's not that you're just angry, you're resigned...'

'Vir. Stop it. Thank you for the jala. Now you are free to go. Sleep, get rest, for tomorrow will be another difficult day, yes?'

'No. Londo' Vir sat down in the armchair, looking determined and serious, despite looking also quite silly. 'I... well, I just remembered what you told me when I killed Cartagia. You don't have to envy me anything it seems. You have it, have it still or have it again, I don't know. Probably the latter. But you do. And I'm really glad for it. And that's all, goodnight, Londo.'

When Vir left, Londo actually smiled a little.

TBC