Here it is. The final chapter of I'm a Human. The final chapter of the I AM Trilogy. Although there will be an epilogue; be sure you don't miss that! I'll have more info on that in the closing author's note.
MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS: This chapter's flashback deals with some pretty intense stuff. Chase has gone through a lot, and I wanted his reaction to it all to be realistic. Unfortunately, that means writing something that some people might find a bit unnerving. So, warnings for: depression, self-harm (though technically it's accidental), and thoughts that could most definitely be considered suicidal. If any of those would make you feel uncomfortable, feel free to skip the flashback. I just thought I should warn you. Now, it is me, and since I don't particularly enjoy writing that kind of thing, I cut it back as much as I possibly could. But it's definitely still there.
Now that we have that out of the way, I hope you can enjoy the very . . . last . . . chapter. I do not own Lab Rats.
* * * Chapter 6: Family * * *
Chase absentmindedly strummed a few notes on his guitar. The music floated into his ears and calmed his mind. He didn't even play a song, exactly. He just started playing whatever came to mind.
Memories of the past several weeks flew through his mind. After Marcus's death, there were a lot of questions to answer. They wound up saying that he had gone back to Oregon, to a place where there were no electronics or reception. Nicole had been heartbroken. Chase felt awful for her. Maybe it hadn't been a good idea to let her and Marcus get close
Eventually Chase put down the guitar. He picked up something from his nightstand; something Tasha had allowed him to keep in his room. It was the picture of Adam, Bree, and himself. His most prized possession.
"Hey Chase!" Bree said as she entered his room.
"Hey buddy!" Adam was right on her tail.
"Hey guys," Chase greeted them. "What are you doing in here?"
"My phone isn't making any noise, and Uncle Donald is busy," Bree said. "Can you fix it?" She tossed the bejeweled pink cell phone at her brother.
"And I was bored so I followed her in here," the oldest explained. The two bionics sat down on their brother's bed. It was plenty big enough for all three of them.
"Bree, your phone is on silent," Chase pointed out. He flipped the small switch and it made a quiet beeping noise. He handed it back to his sister.
"Oh, right," Bree said sheepishly.
Chase frowned. He didn't get it. Bree was smarter than that! Especially for someone who spent so much time on her phone that it was like a third hand. She knew every nook and cranny of her beloved device.
"What's really–" he tried to say, but he was cut off by his sister.
"What are you holding there?"
"Oh. Do you guys remember this?" Chase held up the photograph.
"I remember that," Adam said with a grin, taking the picture frame into his hands. "Chase, you haven't grown a bit." Chase gave his brother a playful shove.
"That was just a month before we were separated," Bree said thoughtfully.
"Yeah," Chase said. "That was the day Douglas told us that we would be separated. That was one of the worst days of my life."
"By far the worst was leaving you two," Adam said. "I thought about you guys every day. I'm still sorry that I couldn't protect you."
"No, Adam, don't blame yourself," Bree said, rubbing her brother's shoulder. "You did everything you could do. Douglas was too powerful and too bent on ruining our lives."
"This picture kept me alive," Chase said as he rubbed the wooden frame. The three smiling faces made him feel happy inside. For the most part he thought of his childhood as tragic, but there were those rare moments when he and his siblings managed to be at least a little bit happy. It was too bad those moments had to be drowned in the darkness.
"Really?" the female whispered softly.
"I thought that if you guys were alive, I could stay alive too. It was the only thing that kept me going every day. I hid the photo and looked at it every chance I got. Life after you guys left was a blur, and there were a lot of times when I didn't think I keep going. Looking at your smiling faces made me feel better. It reminded me that maybe someday I could get out and find you again."
"The thought of you guys kept me going, too," Bree said softly. "Even though there were some things I didn't miss about you bozos. But I figured that if I could survive through it, you would come for me. Waynuk was my only friend, and he gave me some hope. He kinda reminded me of you, Adam. Every time he didn't understand something – which was often – he would squint and cock his head a bit, kinda like you. And he was always reminding me to have hope."
"Leo was my only friend," Adam said sadly. "But I mean, he was a good one! And Tasha was like a mother to me. The mother I never had. No one else at the circus would talk to me. Not even the clowns! They would just smile and walk away. Or maybe they frowned . . . it was hard to tell with all that make-up."
"Donald was the closest thing I had to a 'friend,'" Chase said. "I did my best to take care of him when no one else would. He was kind of distant and stuff. I have to say, it's amazing how lively he is when he's not being trapped in a dungeon by his brother."
"Chase!" Adam exclaimed suddenly in a frightened voice. "I need you to promise me something!"
"What, Adam?"
"Promise you'll never turn evil and lock me in a secret underground lair for twelve years!"
"Adam, why would I do that?" Chase's face paled a bit. "Do you really think I'm like Douglas?"
"Not at all," Adam said with certainty. "But it doesn't hurt to have a safety net, right? I'll promise the same thing."
"Okay, I promise I won't turn evil and capture you."
"I promise that too."
"Feel better?" Bree asked.
"Yeah," Adam said with his usual goofy grin.
"You know," Chase said thoughtfully, "there are some other things besides the photo that gave me hope."
Chase leaned over and opened the drawer on his nightstand. Three objects – well, three and a half – sat inside the drawer. Carefully he pulled them out and put them in the center of his bed.
One item was the quarter. His only souvenir from the outside world for most of his life. They had all gone to the fast food restaurant together. They got in trouble there together. They had fun – together – before they were torn apart.
One item was a pink hair band. It had been shoved into Chase's hand by his heartbroken sister. She had given it to him so he would remember her. It barely even looked pink now; it was covered in dirt and stains and looked more black than anything. But it was still a wonderful gift in Chase's eyes.
One item – and a half – was a twig. It was no longer Y-shaped. It had snapped a long time ago. One piece of perfectly straight; the other was also straight, but it had a little bump sticking out in the middle of it. Nevertheless, it was still the 'magical' stick Adam had given Chase when they were very young.
"I know where all these came from," Bree murmured. She picked up the hair band and started fingering it.
"You broke the stick," Adam said mournfully.
"I'm sorry, Adam," Chase quickly apologized. "It's so old and it got moved around a lot last year."
"It's okay. It's still magical." In his heart, Chase knew his brother really thought that about the stick. It would always be magic to simple-minded Adam. That was one of the things that made his brother so amazing.
"You kept all these things?" Bree whispered softly.
"Of course," Chase said. "They reminded me of you."
"That's so sweet."
For several moments, there was silence. The siblings looked over Chase's treasures and marveled at the meaning behind all of them. Simple little objects; in the grand scheme of things, unimportant objects. But special because they represented someone special. They meant the world to Chase, because his siblings meant the world to him.
"I really missed you guys," he murmured softly.
"I missed you too," Bree said.
"Me too," Adam agreed.
They leaned in to embrace each other. After all their crazy adventures, their bonds were as strong as ever. Everything they had been through melted away when they were with one another.
I'm a weapon.
I'm a monster.
Two lies Chase had always believed about himself. Here, now, with his siblings' arms around him. He knew the truth.
I'm a human.
I am loved.
Chase sleepily opened his eyes. He started to walk forward . . . only to have his face slam into something. He groaned, suddenly fully awake.
"Just push on the door, it's not that hard," a muffled female voice said.
Chase just glared at his sister as he walked out of his capsule. As he walked around the control panel for the capsules, he accidently bumped against the corner. He hissed as pain shot through his side.
"Where's Adam?" Chase asked as he rubbed his right side.
"Upstairs getting breakfast," Bree answered. "Man, someone woke up on the wrong side of the capsule this morning!"
Chase ignored her comment and instead walked to the elevator. As he rode up, he couldn't help but notice how he felt sick to his stomach. Not quite physically; he didn't feel like he was going to throw up. But he felt sick nonetheless. Something didn't feel quite right. Unless he was mistaken, this was going to be 'one of those days.' Chase sighed.
The elevator doors opened and the first thing Chase smelled was sausage. Ugh, he hated sausage. As he headed into the kitchen, the rest of the family greeted him. Chase spotted scrambled eggs in the pan. Those he would eat.
Tasha handed him a plate full of eggs, no sausage. Chase smiled half-heartedly at her. He appreciated her thoughtfulness.
Chase sat down at the table between Adam and Leo. Donald sat at the head of the table, swiping his finger across a DavenTablet. Bree entered a few minutes later and started making plans with Tasha to go shopping later that day. It was a normal Saturday morning.
"Are you not hungry, Chase?" Leo asked when he noticed Chase was just pushing his eggs around with his fork.
"I'll eat it if you want!" Adam offered.
"Here," Chase said, pushing his plate towards his brother.
"Sweetie, don't you want to eat that?" Tasha asked.
"No," Chase mumbled.
Tasha tried a different approach. "Honey, you need to eat."
"I don't want to eat."
"Donald."
"What?" The tech mogul looked up.
"Tell Chase he needs to eat."
"Well if doesn't want to eat–"
"Would you quit it?" Chase shouted. "I'm just not hungry! Is that a crime?" Chase stood up suddenly, knocking the chair over in the process. He started to head down the hall.
"Where are you going?" Leo called after him.
"I want to be by myself for a few minutes, okay?" Chase shouted back. "Just leave me be!"
As he stormed away, Chase heard his sister mumbling something to the rest of the family. "He was like that when he woke up," she said. "I think I know what's going on. Give him some space, okay?"
Chase didn't even care anymore. He stormed down the hall, blindly wandering through the mansion. After a few minutes, he found himself passing by the bathroom. He couldn't resist. He knew it would only make things worse, but he just had to look.
The youngest bionic stepped inside, shut the door, and locked it. He didn't want anyone following him in. Chase looked up, meeting his own eyes in the mirror.
It was the same as always. Chase couldn't help but see the things that made him so much like Douglas. It only got worse with time. It made his chest hurt to think about it.
Douglas was right, you know. No one loves you. No one cares. They hate you. Why are you even here? You are a monster. You are a monster. You are a monster.
Chase bit his lip as tears stung the back of his eyes. His chest started heaving with the effort it took to hold back his pain. The voice inside his head got louder. It whispered in his ears and only made him feel even worse.
You're a mistake. You're a danger to society. Wouldn't the world just be better off without you? You know it would. Why even bother with your siblings? They would be just fine without you. Even they don't love you.
That clinched it. With a furious scream, Chase started clawing at his ears. "No! No, no, no!" he shouted over and over again.
Chase stopped suddenly when he felt the tips of his fingers get sticky. He stared down at his nails in half-fascination, half-shock. Little flecks of blood sat on the tips of his nails. As he looked in the mirror, Chase saw the red scratches next to his ears. Some of them were bleeding.
Chase sunk to his knees in front of the sink. He couldn't contain it anymore. He let the tears flow free. They streamed down his face and dripped onto his clothing. They just wouldn't stop.
The bionic felt weak sitting in the bathroom and crying. But he couldn't control it. With every drop he felt angrier at himself. Why couldn't he be strong? He was fifteen! He was better than this! Why was he crying? Those thoughts, ironically, just made the tears flow faster.
Chase felt hurt, angry, scared, and . . . just plain awful. He felt so much pain and agony. He just wanted it to go away. He willed his heart to stop beating; his lungs to stop breathing. He didn't want to keep going. Chase drew his knees closer to his chest.
The sobs burst out of his throat and filled the room. Every now and then they were punctuated by a scream of frustration. Chase couldn't control any of it. It was like being under the Triton App all over again.
There was a knocking sound on the door and a few frantic voices calling his name. Chase quieted his sobbing a bit. He wiped his face, but it did no good since the tears were still flowing.
"Chase, let us in. Please. Please. Don't do this to us. You need to open the door."
"Come on, buddy, you need to let us in. Seriously. This isn't a joke. It's not funny like all the time I toss you around."
"Please!"
"Chase!
"I'm begging you!"
"Open up!"
Slowly Chase lifted his hand. Using molecularkinesis, he turned the handle. It clicked as it unlocked, but Chase did not open the door. He just lowered his arm.
Adam and Bree opened the door and came tumbling in. Chase supposed he must've been a sight, with blood smearing his face and tears streaming down his cheeks.
His siblings dropped down beside him. Bree reached out to pat his back, but before she could Chase let his body fall forward. He placed his head in Bree's lap right as a fresh round of tears started. Bree seemed surprised at first, but she just started stroking his hair and murmuring sweet words of comfort to him.
Adam sat next to Bree, gently rubbing his younger brother's shoulders. At first it seemed a bit awkward, but the older boy slowly eased into it.
"Chase, please, just talk to us," Bree said suddenly. "What's on your mind?"
"Y-You don't want to know," Chase mumbled between tears.
"We can handle it," Adam said.
Chase sniffled a couple of times. Finally he said, "I hate me!" The words rang out through the bathroom, rendering Adam and Bree speechless. Chase, however, was not. "I hate me. I hate me. I hate me." He kept repeating the words like a broken record. Now that Chase had said it, it was the only thing he could say.
After a few moments, Chase felt something wet fall into his hair. It felt like a teardrop. But there was no way it was his own. He turned his head upward and saw that tears were starting to stream from Bree's eyes. Adam wasn't crying, but he looked like he was about to.
"Why?" Bree mumbled. "Why?"
"Don't you know how much we love you?" Adam said. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!"
"B-But . . ." Chase stuttered.
"No," Bree said quickly. "No. Forget what I said. Don't say anything. I don't want you destroying yourself anymore than you already have. Adam's right. We love you."
"And we'll always be here for you."
"There's no reason to hate yourself. You're amazing."
"Yeah, you're the best little bro I could ever ask for."
"You're our baby brother. Don't ever put yourself down like that. Chase, you're breaking my heart. Don't ever say something like that again."
"We love you, buddy. We'd do anything for you."
"And he means anything. We'd be willing to die for you. So don't you dare hate yourself. That makes our love meaningless. We love you more than anything."
"Anything," Adam repeated.
Chase still hadn't stopped crying. He buried his face in Bree's jeans. Quietly he mumbled, "I love you too."
It's amazing how exhausting crying can be. Chase felt himself begin to drift off to sleep. He felt his siblings around him, comforting him and reassuring him. Everything would be okay.
You're a disgrace. A burden to your family. You were created to be a weapon, nothing more! Monster. You're a pathetic human being. Quit fooling yourself. You . . .
No! a new voice shouted. No! I'm not! They love me! They care for me! Stop it! You're the one lying to me! Adam and Bree love me. They do. I know they do. I don't have to be scared. I know the truth.
Chase fell asleep in the arms of his siblings. The depression drifted away and was replaced by a warm feeling of peace. Adam and Bree were there. They loved him. They truly loved him. And they were together again. Chase could wish for nothing more.
Yay! So I like happy endings . . . sue me! Although it wasn't entirely happy, considering the flashback. Did I make you tear up at all? How did you guys like the sibling fluff? There was a lot of it, wasn't there?
Okay, so, final update: this Saturday. The epilogue will be posted. I won't be putting an author's note at the beginning, so I'll say something here. The epilogue will be unlike anything I have done for the entire trilogy. I've already started writing it and I'm very excited. I hope you guys will enjoy it as well. By the way, you should be thanking Tie Dye Pencils right about now. I wasn't sure whether I would do the epilogue or not, but I explained my idea to her and she told me that I should do it. So big thanks to her for getting you that one final update on this story!
I will be saving all the sentimental sap for the final author's note on the next chapter. I have a lot to say to all you wonderful folks who read my stories. :3
Don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of this chapter. What do you guys think will happen in the epilogue? What surprising things do I have planned? Reviews are always appreciated. Thanks so much for reading. See you on Saturday for the official end of the I AM Trilogy.