4. My Beautiful City In Flames

The dreams were always highly confusing things. Despite his best intentions, Londo fell asleep after fifteen or so minutes of the flight. G'Kar would probably say that Londo's body was smarter than him and decided to rest while it could. Londo would certainly say that his dreams were smarter than him and thus able to play all the havoc they'd want.

Londo looked out of the palace window and saw rubble and fire instead of what should be a shining, colorful city. His hands were trembling and something heavy lied on his shoulder. Behind him someone stood, someone uninvited, alien, dangerous and hated. Londo forced himself to lower his gaze, to not look at the capital. His hands were clad in white gloves. Emperor gloves.

The scene shifted, he was sitting on the throne, in the dark, completely alone... if not for the same menacing presence as earlier. The palace seemed empty. And Londo couldn't sleep, couldn't rest, all he could do was sit there, transfixed, in some sort of daze. He didn't know why, but he was sure that reality of what was happening was just too cruel to be looked straight upon.

When he awoke, that feeling persisted, forcing him to keep his eyes closed and his mind blank, until he became completely sure that he was on board of the ship, sitting in dubiously comfortable armchair and not on the throne in the deserted palace. Then he carefully willed his eyes open, taking in the artificial lights, the stars against void blackness behind the window, the red fabric of the seats and gray, polished floor. Absorbing all this he calmed and noticed that G'Kar was looking at him questioningly.

'I've dreamt of some... alien... being on Centauri Prime...' Londo finally said, feebly and uncertain.

'Me?' came the rational response in a wonderfully annoying tone.

'No... I regret, but not. Someone evil.'

'Then surely not me. I'm good and I'm almost divine according to all those poor crazies on Babylon 5.'

'Yes, well, most important, you don't know how to be properly and efficiently evil. You never managed it before... before everything, I guess.'

G'Kar sighed and solemnly nodded.

'And I thank universe for that every day. But that doesn't mean that I don't know how to be cunning. Actually I'm even better at being cunning when I'm a better person. What can you tell me of that evil someone?'

'Nothing. I was an Emperor and he was always standing behind me. I wanted nothing more than to get rid of him, but for some reason I couldn't.'

G'Kar looked as if he wanted to give some snide remark, perhaps about high-ranked Centauri's habit of being surrounded by evil ministers and courtiers who are trying to kill you and practically beg to get ridden of. Instead he opted for reasonable and concrete question.

'Shall we then look out for an alien influence while on Centauri Prime?'

'Perhaps... I don't know if we would find anything though.'

'Well, we'll look. And you shouldn't be so sure. The universe is so...'

'...wonderfully full of surprises, yes, I know. And you know I don't share that view, so just let me sleep some more, will you?'

The next dream was most astounding of all the dreams Londo ever had. Nothing in his life felt as confusing as this, even with an excessive help of brivari and a variety of psychoactive ingredients like G'Quan Eth.

'You can officially declare I've gone mad, G'Kar. Do it straight when we land, I wouldn't want to cause any misunderstandings along the way.'

'What happened this time?' G'Kar asked calmly.

'My death dream changed' answered Londo in a wooden voice. But the impact of the news was completely lost on G'Kar.

'Just that?'

'Yes, just that, you stupid creature, just that! And if your long lasting stone-like knowledge of your life was swept away just like that, you would know what I mean!'

'That I know, Mollari, thank you very much' replied G'Kar somewhat indignant. 'Didn't it happen before that someone's death dream changed?'

'Oh yes, technically yes. Not often, really rare in fact, but yes... there were known incidents. Most believe though that it's impossible and they're all faked.'

'Shows what they know' snipped G'Kar disdainfully.

'Great Maker' sighed Londo 'but I always hoped it is truth, at least for those few chosen people, and who knows, maybe... I hoped, because if dreams and prophecies were one hundred percent true, clear and solid... just imagine how horrid it would be.'

'I don't have to imagine anything. In fact all I need is to look at you and I know it all.'

Londo fell silent at this, slightly taken aback.

'So, what was in your death dream this time?' prompted the Narn gently.

What a relief that G'Kar had already known the original death dream, known from his trip into Londo's mind but also from much later Londo's explanations.

'My death dream was... different. No, not different. Fuzzy. Not so detailed. No, I could only feel that you are there, and Vir, and somehow Sheridan and Delenn weren't there as always. And the time, the time was right. But nothing more. And... I felt Timov there. Never has.'

'That's not that much of a change' said G'Kar skeptically.

'Oh, but it is... Terribly much. See, you didn't kill me there. No one did. And I didn't kill you.'

'Good to know!' G'Kar clapped Londo's arm. Then, after a pause: 'As you've perhaps heard, the future is always changing.'

G'Kar again made it sound lightly, but Londo caught the genuine relief in his voice. The same relief, perhaps, that Londo was experiencing just now, because he was sure that the dream was the proper, true, prophetic death dream. Cloudy, changing, uncertain also. Showing him that he doesn't know a damn about future.

Was it a sign that he indeed "avoided the fire at the end of his journey"? It would be too much to hope for, surely?

'Do you remember what I've told you about Lady Morella, G'Kar?'

'Yes, she showed uncommon dose of common sense and tried to give you some ways out, which would be beneficial to us all.'

'The eye that not see. I saved you, G'Kar, back then, when Cartagia was on the throne, yes? At least I hope it was what Lady Morella meant. Then it would seem that I did good at the first opportunity. And thus I do not need another one, no? Not to kill one who is already dead... That I can do, I think, but why would I want to kill Sheridan? Unless it's about someone else. I killed Mr Morden after all... He said I will pay for what I did then. Yeees. But I am willing to pay what I'm due if it meant that Centauri is saved.'

'I don't doubt that, Mollari. But there are very different kinds of payment, you know? Besides it's about their revenge, not your destiny or your payment being due. With Mr Morden's final fate, for once it is the thing you've done right, Mollari! So the second chance has to be something else. And, if even it was that, you did good with the first one, and you still has the third.'

But I really, really wouldn't want to have to abide by her last warning... thought Londo with a sense of dread and flashing memories form heart attack dream.

'You think the first was enough?'

'Well, I don't know about that, really' said G'Kar thoughtfully. 'But then again, surrendering to your fear with a good reason behind it can be a truly changing experience.'

'But I saved you, the eye...' repeated Londo somewhat chaotically. 'And Morden... Great Maker, G'Kar, he promised revenge on the Centauri. He would want me to be defeated, broken, the Centauri Prime leveled to debris. And that is what might be happening just now. He's shouted something about Shadow's allies. Don't you understand, G'Kar, that is my greatest fear. The fall of my homeworld, my people... I can't and won't surrender to such a thing!'

G'Kar didn't answer. Londo only after a while realized that this thing, this surrender, G'Kar had already lived through.