Okay, I don't really know what I think about this chapter, haha.
All I can say is that I've been babysitting my niece since yesterday and I'm a little tired, maybe that's one of the reasons this chapter isn't so good.
I'll try to update daily and maybe twice a day if I can.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! xo
I wake up early in the morning lying in Finnick's bed; his arms are wrapped around my waist. I look at him and remember everything that happened last night. We kissed. Does it mean anything? I'm sure it doesn't… But, damn! Last night was perfect, I felt that someone finally understood how I feel; I could talk about my thoughts, my feelings, and worries. When I'm with Finnick I don't have to pretend anything… I'm just me.
"Are you awake?" He whispers in my ear and tightens his arms around my waist. I nod and turn around.
"Good morning." I say smiling.
"Good morning, Katniss." He replies and gently caresses my cheek. "Did you sleep well?" He asks grinning, like if he had his own inside joke.
"Yeah." I say smiling.
We get out of bed and when we're getting out of his room Gale walks in front of us. He frowns at me and walks away; the guilt stabs me right in the guts. What the hell was that?!
"Did you guys have a fight?" He asks confused.
"Not that I know…" I snort. "Let's go, I'm hungry."
We walk into the dining room and try not to think about what has just happened; I'll talk to Gale when I have a chance. We joke around while we eat our breakfast. This is what I like about my friendship with Finnick; we can behave like little kids and don't give a damn about anything.
When we finish our breakfast, I go to take a shower and when I'm done, I wander around the building. I decide to go talk to Gale. I walk to his room, knock and call his name. He takes his time to open the door.
"What is it, Katniss?" He frowns at me.
God, why is he so upset?
"I should be the one asking you…" I mutter.
"Don't you really know why I'm upset?" He frowns again.
"I don't." I reply.
He snorts and crosses his arms on his chest.
"Katniss… I love you." He clenches his eyes. "I love you more than I want to…"
"Gale…" I start to say, but he smashes his lips on mine. I can't do this. I don't want to hurt him anymore. My mind flies to Finnick. God, I'm so messed up. How could I kiss Finnick?! Anyway, I don't think it meant something to him, but… Did it mean something to me…? No, it didn't. Finnick's my friend, so does Gale; and I love Peeta. I need to keep him in my mind…
I sigh when he steps back.
"I can't do this, Gale…" I whisper.
"Why Katniss?" he asks frustrated "Is it because I'm not Peeta?!" He looks me in the eyes. He looks angry and hurt. "Or is it because I'm not Finnick?!"
He didn't say this. Crap, does he think I have something with Finnick?! The guilt stabs me one more time.
"Finnick is my friend!" I yell at him.
"Oh! I didn't know people could sleep with their friends!" He says with fake surprise and smiles bitterly.
"I didn't sleep with Finnick!" Well, I did spend the night with him and kissed him, but that was it.
"Don't be a liar, Katniss! I saw you both getting out from his room this morning!"
I gasp. How can he think this way about me?
"Well, if that's what you think… then, it's alright for me; I don't have anything to explain to you." I mutter. I feel the anger running through my veins and take a step away from him.
"If that's not what you did, then... What were you doing in his bedroom?" He asks with a grimace of pain.
I don't have to explain anything to him, but I don't want to hurt him, neither do I want him to think that I'm that easy to get.
"Last night I went to talk to him, and we spent the night together, but it's not what you think… We talked the whole night and then fell asleep. That's all." I mutter. He doesn't need to know that we kissed.
"Oh."
"Yeah, that's what happened." I mutter.
"I'm sorry, Catnip."
"It's okay."
He sighs and holds my chin, we stare into each other eyes, I can't bear breaking his heart, after all, he's my best friend. He kisses me and I kiss him back.
I'm sorry, Peeta. He's all I can think about. I should be kissing him right now, not Gale or Finnick.
"I've got to go." I say when Gale leans back.
Once more, I run to the woods. It's the only place where I feel less insane than usual.
I can't do this anymore. I hate pretending that I'm fine, it's killing me.
I sit down, lean back in a tree and stare at the sky. I miss Peeta, I need him. I miss how his strong arms around me ward off my nightmares.
My eyes burn because of the tears. I start crying, I let myself break down; I let out every strength I used to have… Peeta left and he took my strength and sanity with him.
I walk deeper into the forest, screaming his name and kicking anything that crosses in my path. I hate this. I trip into a log and hit my head with a rock, instead of standing up, I stay in the ground; I don't feel strong enough to lift.
«Everything will be okay» I lie to myself.
Nothing is or will be okay, Peeta's not here and he doesn't know I love him. My vision starts becoming blurry and dark. I fight the unconsciousness.
"Katniss?" I hear a soft and beautiful voice calling my name, I try to answer, but my body doesn't work. I don't even know if it's real or not. "Katniss…" I hear it again.
I open my eyes and Peeta is standing in front of me.
"Peeta!" I call him.
"Katniss." My name sounds beautiful in his lips, with his angelical voice.
He sits next to me and rests my head in his lap.
"I've missed you." I tell him as tears stream down my face.
"What do you mean?" He asks with a crooked smile and wipes my tears "I've always been with you. Don't you remember I told you that I will always protect you?"
He caresses my cheek, it doesn't feel real, but I don't care. He's here, with me.
"Peeta, I've got something important to tell you…" I say holding back a smile.
"What is it?" He asks with a smile.
"I love you." I tell him as I softly kiss him. Once again, our kiss doesn't feel real; maybe it's too perfect to feel real. I feel his smile against my lips.
"I love you too, Katniss." He tells me staring at my eyes. I smile at him.
We sit on the ground and he holds me in his arms. I feel complete, I can finally breathe. He's next to me and nothing will tear us apart. I'm his and he's mine, nothing will ever change that.
"I love you, Peeta." It feels so good to say it. "You make me complete." I say with a smile.
He smiles and gently kisses me.
"I love you more, Katniss. You can't imagine how much, neither how happy you've just made me." He says with a smile.
We kiss for a long while, then lay in the ground and look at the sky. I feel safe in his arms.
"Never leave me, please." I ask him looking at his beautiful deep-blue eyes. "I'm lost without you."
"I won't" He replies and tightens his arms around me. I lay my head down on his chest.
"Promise?" I ask him.
"Do you think I'd be stupid enough to let you walk out of my life?" He holds my chin and looks me at the eyes. We smile and kiss again. "I'm never letting you go, I promise." He promises as he kisses my forehead.
"I love you." I tell him and close my eyes, he kisses my eyelids.
"Katniss!?" Someone yells my name.
I open my eyes and look around. Where's Peeta? I suddenly feel terrified. He told me he wouldn't leave me.
"PEETA?!" I yell ignoring the voice that's calling my name.
I feel the fear stabbing my heart; I can feel a lump on my throat.
"Peeta…" I weakly whisper. I fall into the ground. I can't bear being without him… I can't do this. My heart aches with every beat. He left.
"Katniss?!" The voice insists.
I turn around and it's Finnick. I take a deep breath and face him.
"Are you okay?" He asks.
"I… I don't know." I mutter.
He gets closer and sits next to me. We stare at each other in silence.
"Have you seen Peeta?" I ask holding back my tears.
"Peeta?" He asks confused.
"Yes, Peeta." I feel my eyes burn. «He's not here. He left you. You don't deserve him. » the voices in my head mock at me.
"Katniss… Peeta's not here..." He says carefully.
"You're a liar!" I yell "He was with me a while ago!"
"Katniss… Peeta is dead."
"Liar!" I yell, stand up and run away as fast as I can. Finnick is lying. I start crying again. Peeta was next to me a while ago.
Finnick reaches me and holds my arm.
"I'm sorry, Katniss." He whispers.
"You're a liar." I mutter blinking away the tears in my eyes.
He hugs me tightly and kisses my head. We stand there in silence.
Reality slaps me in the face. It was all an hallucination. Peeta's gone. He wasn't here; it was my mind playing its dirty tricks.
"I want to go back home…" I mutter.
I miss my district, I miss my old life... I miss how everything was before the games.
Finnick sighs and takes my hand. We head back to the main building and he walks with me to my room. I invite him in, because I don't want to be alone.
We sit in my bed and stay silent.
"I… I'm sorry for calling you a liar." I say as I blush stupidly.
"It's okay, don't worry." He replies smiling.
"How did you find me?" I ask.
"Prim and your mom asked me if I hadn't seen you, and I guessed you were in the woods. Of course, I was right, as always." He says with a crooked grin.
There he goes again. I smile.
"Thank you…" I whisper.
He hugs me tight.
"Things will get better." He says as he kisses my forehead "We'll get through all of this."
"Thank you, Finnick" I repeat.
"No, Katniss… Thank you." He whispers and looks me in the eyes.
He slowly leans close to my face. His lips slowly touch mine and then we kiss sweetly, he holds my waist and I run my hands through his hair.
He softly leans me in the bed and lays next to me. He grins at me and caresses my cheek. I smile, rest my head in his chest and listen to his heartbeat.
"Katniss..." He starts to say, but his voice fades.
"What is it?" I ask smiling.
"Never mind." He grins and kisses me again, sweetly.
He runs his hand along my back and keeps kissing me. His lips are soft, warm and gentle.
Someone opens the door and I suddenly feel how they pull Finnick away from me.
That's it for this chapter!
I just wanted to thank you again for your support: Thank you for your beautiful reviews, follows, favorites, for reading, but firstly: Thank you for your support! I'm immensely grateful!
You asked me to make each chapter a little longer, but, as I told you I'm a little tired, but I swear I'll try my best to make them a little longer! :)
As always, I'm open to suggestions.
THANK YOU AGAIN! xo