This chapter is from Finnick's POV, and unlike the previous this one is actually important, because it explains the cause of Finnick's behavior in the subsequent chapters.
I've got to admit that I actually liked this chapter, it's not my favorite, but I'm pleased with it.
So... I haven't explained what happened with Annie, Peeta and the other victors because everything will be eventually explained; I just need you to be patient.
I really hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I did while I was writing it.
Finnick's POV.
I'm in the dining room with Katniss, we're eating dinner and Gale is staring at us with a scowl. For some reason, I feel satisfied when I see him frowning.
"So, what happened with lover boy?" I mock.
"I'm not sure" She avoids my question.
"Oh, okay." I glance at Gale and laugh. "I'm pretty sure you told him that you're madly in love with me." I whisper seductively and grin. Katniss blushes.
"Yeah, Of course I did." She replies laughing.
For some reason, my heart skips a beat when she says that. I try to ignore the feeling and continue talking as if nothing happened.
"The Girl on Fire is in love with me? I'm flattered." I mock.
We laugh and eat. I feel Gale's gaze, so I look at him and smile mockingly, he just frowns and leaves. After we're done with our dinner we go to bed.
I walk to my room with a smile of satisfaction, I don't know why, but when I chuckle when I remember Gale's reaction when he gazed at Katniss and me while we were taking dinner. He's completely jealous, though he shouldn't, Katniss is just my friend. We're just friends.
I get rid of my shirt and get in bed, why did I felt that way when Katniss joked about telling Gale she was in love with me? The mere thought of Katniss telling that to Gale makes me smile, but at the moment I imagine the expression Gale would make I chuckle. He'd probably punch me.
I shake my head.
What's wrong with me? Katniss is my friend. She's just my friend, nothing else. We've only got each other. Well… I've only got her; she's got her family and Gale… I've got to admit that I feel a pinch of jealously when I think about the fact that she's got Gale; maybe because it'd be easier for her to forget about me while she's with him… Who would I talk to? Who would understand me when I get down? She's the only person I've got right now who is going through the same crap I am…
«Stop it, Finnick. » I tell myself when I find myself what would I do if Katniss stopped talking and hanging out with me.
Why do I care so much about her? Why do I forget about every single problem I have when she's near me? Why do I feel so vulnerable, but happy at the same time when I'm around her? There's just one obviously answer…
My thoughts are starting to annoy me. «It's impossible » I growl to myself. «It can't be» I insist.
I try to put my mind in blank and close my eyes.
I fall asleep faster than I expected.
I am not certain about where I am; it looks a lot like District Four, the sea, the people... But it doesn't feel real.
I'm wandering along the beach until I spot a familiar silhouette siting in the sand, looking at the sea. It's a woman. I walk towards her and stand behind her. I think she has already noticed me.
"This is beautiful." Katniss says with a note of excitement on her voice.
"I'm sure it is." I whisper as I sit next to her.
"Seriously, it's so quiet, and the sea results completely pleasant." She smiles at me.
We sit in silence and watch the sunset.
"Peeta would love to see this…" She sadly smiles. I only look at her; I hate to see her sad, I wish I could erase all the pain from our lives. "His favorite color was this kind of orange." She explains and points at the sky. "But I'm glad that I'm here with you." She says smiling at me.
I remember when we were at the arena, sitting on the beach; I think I saw Peeta looking marveled at the sunset, but I'm not quite sure.
I think about Annie; we used to sit in the sand and watch the sunset and sometimes the dawn. I try not to get sad at the memory. I can't do anything to bring her back; all I can do is keeping her in my heart and mind, she'll always be with me.
I know time will heal my wounds, and by the other hand, there's Katniss. She has helped me a lot, even though she's going through the same kind of things… Her presence keeps me sane, I'm myself when I'm around her, and she makes me feel less numb… Putting it out on other words, she makes me feel alive and hopeful.
Can this be possible?
I hold back a smile when the thought comes to my mind.
We stare at each other's eyes and smile.
"Can I say something crazy?" I ask nervously.
"What is it?" She smiles.
"I think that…" I start to say, but I get a lump of nerves on my throat.
"What?" She insists.
"I think that I'm in love with you…" I whisper softly.
She stays silent.
The nerves take possession of my mind and body, so I start hyperventilating.
Crap. I've just screwed up everything. Crap! Crap! Crap!
She kisses me softly and smiles when we lean back.
"So…?" I ask nervously.
"Is Finnick Odair in love with me?" She whispers the question in my ear with mock surprise.
I get goosebumps when I feel her breath caressing my skin. How does she do that?
"Yeah, I think that I'm in love with you, Girl on Fire." I reply with a crooked smile and look her in the eyes.
"Hmm…" she mutters. "May I say something crazy too?" She asks smiling.
"Go ahead." I say impatiently.
"I might love you too." She whispers.
I smile and pull her close to me; I look her in the eyes and smile. I softly kiss her jawline and then her lips.
We stay in the beach until the sky darkens completely.
I wake up with her name on my tongue and a smile on my lips. After a while I frown.
Is it possible to fall in love with someone this fast?
I snort and rub my eyes when I notice that I may be right and that I may have grown feelings for her.
"I'm in love with Katniss Everdeen…" I mutter to myself.
My heart races when I say her name, and I feel a warm sensation running through my body.
I battle myself when I think about telling her. Who knows how she'll react…?
She might just freak out and never talk to me again. I won't tell her until the right time comes.
A half of me wants to tell her, just to know if she feels the same way.
It'd sound like: "Hey Katniss, even though I don't want to accept it and I'm confused and everything, I think I'm in love with you… Do you love me back?"
I need to go back to sleep. I snort and yawn.
I close my eyes and put my mind on blank.
It's been just like 15 since I fell asleep when someone wakes me up knocking the door.
I growl, cover my face with the pillow and try to go back to sleep.
"Finnick?" Katniss calls my name.
My heart races and I hesitate about opening the door.
"Hi, Katniss." I say smiling and try to hide that I'm happy that she came to see me.
"Did I wake you up?" She asks. "I can come back later…" She mutters and blushes.
"No, it's okay." I reply and smile. Now that she's here, I don't want her to leave. "What's happening? Do you want to come in?"
"Can we sit here?" She asks. "The closure is ending my sanity."
"Okay" I agree.
We sit in the floor and my heart aches when she tells me what happened.
She told Gale that she loves him.
I don't know what to say or what to do. I feel how my heart aches with every beat… No. My heart is not the only thing that aches; my whole body is in pain and so do my feelings.
I want to punch myself, the wall, anything that walks in my way. I but I'd die to punch Gale right now. I try to keep calm and smile at her.
"Do you think I screwed it up?" She asks.
"It depends… Did you mean it when you told him that you love him?" I ask hopefully.
"I'm confused…" She replies.
Is it because she still loves Peeta? I could get used to it… I still love Annie too. We could get through it together…
«Stop it, Odair. » I command to myself.
"So… Why did you tell him that you loved him if you're not sure about your feelings? Or is it because you still loving Peeta?" I ask with a trace of hope.
"I… I don't know… It's just that… I hate to keep breaking his heart. I just want him to be happy." She replies.
"But, don't you think that you'll hurt him worse if things don't go as you expect them to?" I ask.
"I'll try my best to make him as happy as I can." She mutters.
Her words give me hope, but still hurt me.
«Conceal it! » I yell at myself.
"Well, I wish you luck…" I mutter yawning and trying to look unconcerned.
"Thank you." She says smiling "Do you want me to leave for you to get some sleep?" She asks.
I don't want her to leave, I want her to stay the night with me, but instead of saying anything, I grin and shrug.
"Good night, Finnick." She says as she gets up.
"Good night, Katniss." I reply as I get back into my room.
I let myself fall into my bed.
All of this is wrong... What about Annie? She can't be replaced. I still miss her... I feel guilty and angry at myself, for not thinking about her. Right now, I'd seriously pay someone to punch me as hard as possible.
I won't let it get to me, I won't let her know, I'll forget about everything that happened tonight.
Perhaps this feeling might be fleeting; it'll disappear as soon as it came... Maybe I'm confused and misunderstanding everything.
«That's what you get when you let your heart control you. » A voice in my head mocks at me.
I tighten my fists.
It's surprising how fast my mood changed: I've got to admit that I was feeling happy, but at the same time guilty, like if I was doing something wrong and I also felt kind of confused then I suddenly I felt jealous and angry.
That's it for this chapter!
I want to thank your for all of your reviews, messages and for following and favoriting my story. Seriously, you can't imagine how happy you make me.
I adore every single one of you!