Guys, I'm so sorry for not updating! I've been busy and I had a few personal problems; so I haven't had time neither did I was in the mood to write.
I didn't like this chapter a lot, It could've been better... But anyway, I hope you like it!
Did he come to talk about what happened last week on the woods? My head aches, maybe it's because of the hangover… My heart thumps against my chest, I can barely breathe.
"Talk about what?" I ask.
"We're needed in Command" He mutters.
"Oh…" I mutter in response.
It was dumb to believe that I'm the reason of his presence.
I walk next to him. He's serious, inexpressive…
I want to apologize for the way I reacted, but I'm not ready to talk about what happened. I wouldn't know what to say and I'd probably end running away one more time…
"So, how've you been?" He asks.
"Hmm…"Missing you "I'm fine, thanks. What about you?"
"Fine." He replies, still inexpressive.
I sigh. How much will this last? It's been a week and it's affected me more than I could ever imagine… Am I going to be strong enough to stand one more week?
Finnick looks at me.
"What are you thinking about?" He asks.
"I… I was wondering why they need us." I babble.
"You accepted to be the Mockingjay, remember?" He mutters.
"Yeah..." I reply "Finnick, I… I want to…" I babble.
"What is it?" He asks.
"Never mind." I reply and look at my feet.
We stay silent until we get to Command.
"Right after you…" He says.
"Thank you." I mutter.
This place still looks like the first time I was here… Screens, tridimensional maps…
My head aches one more time.
I spot Plutarch and Fulvia, his assistant, walking towards me.
"Hello, Katniss. I'm glad you're here." He says smiling.
I fake the best of my smiles.
"Hello, Plutarch." I mutter.
The room is not as crowded as it always is; there are just a few soldiers, Plutarch, Fulvia, Finnick and I.
The room turns silent at the moment Coin enters the room, in a matter of seconds everyone's assembled and coin starts talking about all the other victors who were captured at the Capitol and asks if anyone has a plan to get them out, everyone starts muttering to each other.
I try to stay focused on what's happening but my headache only gets worse. I clench my eyes and massage my temples.
"Are you okay?" Gale whispers and holds my hand. When did he get here?
"Yeah…" I mutter.
I look around; everyone is having their own discussions. I don't know when I lost track of the conversation. My heart jumps and I gasp when someone mentions Peeta.
The flashbacks start to flow: The first time I saw him, the time he saved my life by giving me burnt bread, the reaping day, our first games… The moment Finnick told me he died because they couldn't get him out of the arena on time…
My heart thumps against my chest, I start hyperventilating and I feel like if my head were about to explode… I need to get out of here.
I stand up and run out of the room, I wind up in the abandoned air duct where I used to hide and sleep during my first days on District Thirteen. I know I can't keep running away, not now that I have convinced them that my mental health has improved, but I can't help it, I'm terrified about being medicated again.
I wonder if there's someone out there looking for me; the probabilities of them finding me are almost inexistent. After a while, I curl up and fall asleep.
I wake up and walk back to my room; I sit on the edge of my bed and sigh.
I need to apologize to Finnick; I can't wait for the right moment anymore, because if I do, I might lose him forever and it terrifies me.
I walk to his room and hesitate before knocking and calling his name; he doesn't answer, so I knock again.
"He's not here, Sweetheart." Haymitch mutters chuckling.
"Do you know where is him?" I ask.
"He's heading to The Capitol." He replies.
I gasp.
"Wh-what?!" I babble "Why?"
"They volunteered to rescue Johana and Enobaria." He replies.
"They?" I ask, even though I know who else volunteered. "Gale…"
"Yes." He replies.
"Haymitch, do you have some extra alcohol?" I ask.
The first time I got drunk I promised that I'd never drink again, plus I hate the taste and effects of alcohol. But right now, it doesn't matter, I need it.
"Oooh, I wonder what you will confess this time!" He chuckles.
"What?" I ask confused.
"He makes me feel alive, he makes me smile" He says making an imitation of my voice.
"When did I say that?" I ask confused.
"Last night, you started spitting out all of your secrets." He replies giggling stupidly.
"That's not true." I mutter.
"You did." He insists. He looks serious, maybe there's a small probability that he's telling me the truth… If I did say that, I can't let him talk.
I feel the anger running through my veins. I push Haymitch against the wall.
"Don't you dare to tell Finnick or Gale anything about it." I mutter threateningly.
"Easy, Sweetheart…" He says holding back a smile. "Come on, let's take a few drinks."
I step back and walk next to him.
"Haymitch… Isn't the alcohol forbidden here?" I mutter when we get to his room, there are empty bottles everywhere.
"Yeah." He replies smiling.
I don't say anything about it. I just sit on the floor and he hands me a bottle.
"Why don't you tell Finnick and Gale the truth?" He asks.
"Truth?" I ask in response.
"Yeah, why don't you tell Gale that you are in love with Finnick?" He insists.
"I'm not in love with Finnick." I reply "He's my friend, I just like to spend time with him. He's the kind of person whose presence makes you feel better."
"Come on, Katniss." He snorts "Just listen to what you're saying."
I sigh and keep drinking.
"Can I have a little more?" I ask.
"Yeah." He hands me three bottles "Are these enough?"
"I guess so." I mutter.
"So, what is the plan?" He asks.
"What plan?"
I finish the bottle at once. I feel the alcohol burning down my throat and the tingle in my veins.
"Yeah… You told Gale that you're in love with him, but what about Finnick?" He insists.
"I don't know…" I reply.
I finish the three bottles of whiskey that Haymitch gave me in a matter of minutes. I feel how my head starts spinning and how my thoughts start to tangle.
"You know, Gale's jealous about Finnick and me." I mutter giggling stupidly.
"Why?" He asks as he finishes his glass of whiskey.
"He caught us kissing and then he punched Finnick…" I mutter "But that was before I told him that I love him."
"Kissing? Oh, come on Katniss." He snorts "You might not love Finnick, but I know that at least you like him."
"Like him?" I ask confused and grab another bottle.
"Yes." He replies.
"I like Finnick…" It sounds more like an affirmation than a question.
"You do?" He asks.
"I don't know." I reply.
We stay in silence and I finish one more bottle.
"Do you want another one?" He asks.
"No, thanks." I babble.
My head's spinning and I feel like if I stood up I'd fall on my face.
We babble nonsense things until we fall asleep.
Someone wakes me up by knocking on the door. I grab the bottle that's next to me, it's half empty; I drink the whole content of it and grab another one that's almost empty.
My head's still spinning. I look at the little clock that's placed next to Haymitch's bed, we fell asleep for less than an hour… I wake up, walk clumsily towards the door and open it.
My heart races when I see him standing there.
"Hey…" I mutter giggling.
"Here you are…" Finnick mutters.
"Did you miss me?" I ask grinning.
"Katniss…" He looks at the bottle on my hand "Have you been drinking?"
"Yup. A little. Maybe." I babble.
"Come on, let's get you out of here." He mutters and tries to take away my bottle.
"No. Let me finish it, you can't waste stuff here, remember?" I mutter giggling as I get the bottle close to my lips.
He snatches away the bottle and throws it to the ground.
"I can't let anyone see you like this…" He mutters.
He lifts me off the ground and carries me all the way to his room on his shoulder.
"You need to sleep." He whispers as he sweetly lays me on his bed.
His gesture makes my heart race. He still cares about me. I need to apologize for being a jerk.
"I'm sorry, Finnick." I mutter with tears streaming down my face.
"Hush… Don't cry." He smiles gently as he wipes my tears "What are you sorry about?"
"I'm sorry for running away." I babble "I should have told you that I like you."
His expression hardens, but he grins crookedly after a few seconds.
"You need to sleep." He says as he gently caresses my cheek. "We'll talk about it when you're sober."
"I'm sober." I babble.
"You're not." He says smiling.
"Maybe I'm not." I agree.
He sits next to me and holds my hand.
"Try to sleep." He insists smiling.
I sit and stare at his lips and then at his sea-green eyes. He leans close to me, with our lips a few millimeters away.
"Try to sleep…" He whispers, his lips touch mine as he talks "I'll be here when you wake up."
I lean closer and kiss him. He kisses me back, but leans back almost immediately.
I feel rejected and it hurts me, but I'm too tired to show it.
I turn my back on him and close my eyes until I fall asleep.
I wake up. As expected, I have a hangover.
I feel something heavy around my waist, it is Finnick's arm.
I turn around trying not to wake him up.
I stare at him. He looks beautiful and peaceful while he sleeps… I softly caress his cheek, and kiss his lips.
He wakes up a few minutes later.
I smile, but he doesn't smile back at me. I can't read his expression, he's serious and quiet.
"Good morning…" I mutter and smile weakly.
We stay silent. He smiles after a long while.
"Good morning." He mutters and kisses my forehead.
What was that? At first he's serious and then he smiles… I guess I'll never understand the enigma that Finnick Odair is…
"Katniss… We need to talk." He mutters as his expression hardens one more time.
That's it for this chapter, I hope you liked it!
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