Author's Note: I don't own anything having to do with the Walking Dead only Becca belongs to me.

I never update this quickly but someone sent me some inspires and well…this happened. Continuing right from where I left off in the last chapter. For those who have been waiting for it here is another mature one for you! Hope you enjoy! I apologize for any mistakes I wanted to post this before bed.

Any suggestions/comments/critiques are all welcome!

Chapter 4

"Never mind."

Merle's gaze never once faltered as he stared me down. "I know what?"

"Nothing," I mumbled as I got off the cot and tried to walk out of the tent but he wrapped his fingers around my arm and kept me in place. I tried to rip my arm from his grasp but it was useless. "Damn it, Merle, knock it off."

His fingers tightened for a brief second before letting my arm go. "Should have left when you had the chance."

*Flashback*

The note to our mom was written, bags packed, and money saved up. My older brother, Josh, had wanted to leave the second he started high school. He didn't exactly fit in with the other boys in town. He didn't listen to the right kind of music, wear the same clothes, or even talk the same. Josh was seven years older than me so we weren't the closest of siblings. Our mother was working a swing shift down at the old factory so the time wouldn't be more perfect to leave. I did one more sweep of my bedroom to make sure I had everything and reluctantly threw my backpack over my shoulders.

"Oh c'mon, Rebecca, wipe that look off your face," Josh sighed as he taped the note he had written to the box of wine so our mother would see it. "You want to stay here and end up working a corner to pay bills or do you want to go live the high life?"

"I'm packed, ain't I?" I retorted with a huff as I scuffed the toe of my shoe against the floor.

I hated when he used my full name, he was the only one who ever did, but it made me feel like a completely different person. There was Becca the one who would go play with the boys and get dirt under her fingernails. Then there was Rebecca the one that had the pressed clothes and pink painted nails.

"Yeah, well, New York is a long trip from here and I'm not dealing with your attitude the whole way. Go on, say goodbye to your little friends but if you're not back in ten minutes I'm leaving without you." He pointed a finger in my direction and I rolled my eyes. "I mean it, Rebecca! I won't miss my chance to go because of you."

Tossing my pack onto the front porch I jogged over to the Dixon's trailer, the only real friends I had in this pathetic town. Just as I was about to knock on the front door I heard a sickening whip and backed down the steps quietly. I knew what was happening. I had been foolish enough to think it had stopped because it had been almost a month now but evil men with bad habits never changed.

I stood out on the dirt road and at ten years old I had no idea what to do. This was my opportunity to be like the women I saw on the television and my brother was going to make sure I got there. On the other hand I knew that after a night like Merle just had he'd be down by the creek as soon as he could get away. I was his best friend, I was supposed to be there when he needed me even if it was only sitting there in silence, so what was I supposed to do?

The seconds ticked by quicker than I realized and in no time I heard Josh calling out my name. I started in his direction until I heard the screen door open and Merle stomp down the stairs. I followed him down to the creek and though I couldn't come within two feet of him I knew this is where I was supposed to be.

There would other chances to leave, there had to be.

*Present*

"What the fuck are you talking about?! You're the reason I stayed in the first place!"

He ruffled through his bag in search of something and stilled his movements at my declaration. He must have found what he was looking for and I had to take a deep breath when I saw him crushing up the few pills he had left before snorting them. He licked his finger before running it over the top of the pill bottle to get any powder he missed and then ran it along his gums.

"Say what you want, sugar," he gave a slight chuckle as he moved to the flap of the tent. "But you stayed because you were too scared to leave."

He walked out of the tent and I stood there for a second trying to get my temper under control. How was it possible that the one man that affected every one of my life decisions was the same man that could make my blood boil at the drop of a hat? I should have stayed in the tent and let it go but I couldn't. I whipped open the flap of the tent and just barely caught the back of his shoulders as they headed into the woods.

"Should let him cool off first," Daryl warned as I passed him and again I should have listened but instead I flashed him a sarcastic smile.

Lori was still babying Shane who was eating up every minute of it and I almost wished she would have made some comment so I had a reason to hit her. It would have been a great way to get some aggression out but as fate would have it she stayed silent- for once.

"Merle, you fucker, wait up," I called into the woods, walking in the direction I had seen him wander off in. I was certainly no tracker and if he didn't make his presence known soon I was going to be lost. There was only one sure fire way I knew to draw him out if he was near so I stop walking and screamed out, "Merle Dixon, don't you dare walk away from me like a coward!"

My eyes scanned the trees in front of me hoping to see even a clue of which direction to go when a hand was slapped over my mouth. When I jumped in surprise an evil laugh erupted from within him as pulled me flush against his chest. I tried biting down on his hand but even as my teeth sunk into his skin his grasp didn't let up. I bucked against him trying to get myself free so I could yell at him, we could have it out, and be done with it. His left hand that was over my mouth kept me in place as I heard the buckle on his belt being undone.

His hand moved but before I could even get a word out he had his hand around my throat with just enough pressure that I wasn't able to take a deep breath. "You do this to yourself, you know." He pulled me away from his body by my neck and pushed my back up against a tree. "Becca, the girl who doesn't know when to leave well enough alone."

I held my arms out to the side opening myself up to him, "Do what you want to me, Merle. You're not going to scare me away."

His eyes narrowed as his hand tightened a bit more around my throat, "Why's that, huh?"

"Because I can see who you really are not the asshole that everyone else sees."

Merle scoffed and let his hand fall from my neck. He pointed off to the left, "Camp is back that way."

"Don't do that to me," I growled as my hand took hold of his buckle and gave a sharp tug, causing the leather strap to slide out of the loops around his jeans. "You can't push me away that easily."

He snatched the belt out of my hand with a wicked grin on his face, "Put your hands back."

I did as instructed without question and I felt him securing the belt around my wrists so that I was tied to the tree. He circled back around and with a wink he started to walk away.

"You're not going to leave me here?!" I screamed after him, not knowing or caring if we were close enough to camp for anyone to hear. I tried to pull myself away from the tree but that only resulted in the leather cutting into my wrists. "Fuck you, Dixon! All because I wouldn't say-"

I caught myself before the words rolled off my tongue but it was enough for him to turn back around and stride over to me. "Say what?"

"What is it that you want to hear? You know there's never been anyone else. You made sure of that when anyone else would even look at me the wrong way. Hell, even when I had some other man's last name you still had every bit of me. I don't know how you did it, I don't know how you stuck in my head for so many years but I do know that it took the world going to shit for you to man up and take what was yours."

"You ain't mine, sugar," he moved behind the tree and I felt the leather loosen around my wrists.

As soon as I was free I rounded on him and pushed him as hard as I could. "You thick headed, asshole, I've always been yours!"

I went to push him again but he caught my wrists and pulled me into his chest, our lips crashing together. Our tongues wrestled for dominance but in that moment I gave in and let him have the control he so desperately craved. I reached into his pants to find him already hard. He inhaled deeply as I ran my hand along his shaft and scowled at me as I pulled my hand away.

His expression changed when he realized I was unbuttoning my jeans and sliding them over my hips. He freed himself from his boxers as I toed out of my shoes and kicked my pants to the side. As soon as my feet were out of my pants he grabbed my ass and hoisted me up in the air so that I had to wrap my legs around him. He spun me around so that my back was up against the tree and I angled my hips so that I could sit down on him. He wasted no time in thrusting in and out of me, my back getting scraped from the bark even through my shirt.

"Say it," he rasped in my ear. There were a million things he could have been asking to hear. I knew the one that would change everything for the rest of our time on this miserable planet. I still couldn't say it though. To be honest, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to say it and I wasn't sure if I'd ever be able to hear it. When I didn't answer him he rammed into me so hard it took my breath away. "Say it!"

I could feel myself getting dangerously close and his erratic thrusts weren't helping. It wasn't until he moved away from the tree and slapped me in the ass that I fell over the edge and tightened around him. The second he was done shooting his load I was dropped back to my feet. He shoved himself back into his pants while I redressed.

He started walking away and glanced back at me when he was about twenty yards away motioning that I was to follow him. I ripped my wedding ring from my finger and placed it at the base of the tree.

"You pickin' daisies or you comin' back to camp?" He questioned impatiently.

I took one last look at my ring, the one that was supposed to define who I was, before catching up to where he was.

I'm yours, Merle Dixon, I smiled to myself. And God help me but I love you.