(Finnick's POV.)
I'm lying on my bed. We've just returned from our mission to the Capitol.
I'm exhausted, but I just can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about Katniss… I should've never told her what I feel… She reacted the way I was afraid she would…
I haven't talked to her for a while, and I miss that.
I want to talk to her; I want to spend time with her… But I feel vulnerable; I hate it whenever someone notices that I'm hurt…
I lie in my bed and stare at the ceiling for about two hours.
I stand up and walk toward Katniss' room…
I knock.
Her mother opens the door immediately.
"Katniss?!" She asks.
"No…" I reply "Good night Mrs. Everdeen… She's not here, right?" I ask.
"No. I asked if she went to the forest for a walk, but no one saw her." She mutters.
"I'll go look for her." I try to comfort her. "Maybe she's with Gale."
"He came looking for her about an hour ago…" She mutters.
"Oh… If I find her, I'll tell her that you're looking for her." I mutter.
"Thank you, Finnick!" She says smiling.
"It's my pleasure, Mrs. Everdeen." I say with a wide smile.
If she's not with Gale or in the forest, she might be with Haymitch.
I hesitate before knocking his door.
My heart skips a beat when she opens the door. I'm glad I found her; but, my happiness turns into anger when I smell alcohol.
She's been drinking.
"Hey…" She giggles.
"Here you are…" I mutter.
"Did you miss me?" She asks grinning.
"Katniss… Have you been drinking?" I ask as I look at the bottle she's holding.
"Yup. A little. Maybe." She babbles.
"Come on; let's get you out of here." I mutter as I try to snap away the bottle.
"No. Let me finish it, you can't waste stuff here, remember?" She giggles one more time.
I snap the bottle off her hands and throw it into the floor.
No one can see her like that. Her mom will probably get angry and Coin… I don't know why I get the feeling that she'd kick her out.
"I can't let anyone see you like this…" I tell her.
I carry her in my arms all the way to my room.
"You need to sleep." I whisper and carefully lay her in my bed.
"I'm sorry, Finnick." She mutters as she starts to cry.
"Hush… Don't cry." I smile and wipe her tears away "What are you sorry about?"
"I'm sorry for running away." She babbles "I should have told you that I like you."
I frown.
She likes me? My heart races and I can't help but smile.
"You need to sleep." I caress her cheek. "We'll talk about it when you're sober."
"I'm sober." She babbles.
"You're not."I smile.
"Maybe I'm not." She whispers.
I sit next to her and hold her hand. She's beautiful
"Try to sleep." I insist.
She stares at my lips. I lean close to her, our lips are a few millimeters away.
"Try to sleep…" I whisper, our lips touch while I talk "I'll be here when you wake up."
She kisses me and I kiss her back.
She's drunk; she doesn't know what she's doing…
I lean back and I think it makes her upset, because she turns her back on me.
I head to her room when I'm sure she's asleep.
I knock and her mom opens the door.
"Did you find her?" She asks.
"Yeah, I did…" I reply.
"Where's she?" She asks.
"She got drunk…" I reply "She's sleeping… Do you want me to bring her to her bed?" I ask.
"It's ok. I trust you." She replies.
"I'll take care of her. I promise." I sigh "Please don't tell her that I told you about this."
"I won't." She says with a smile.
I go back to my room and lay next to Katniss. She looks so beautiful when she's sleeping. I caress her cheek and watch her sleep until I fall asleep too.
She's still here when I wake up. She's smiling and still between my arms.
"Good morning…" She whispers smiling.
I frown. I can't believe that she's still here…
I smile after a while, because she's still here after all.
"Good morning." I mutter and kiss her forehead.
I need to talk to her about last night. All the stuff she said…
My heart aches when I notice that everything she said last night was unconscious; she was drunk after all.
"Katniss… We need to talk." I mutter frowning.
"What do you want to talk about?" She asks.
"I want to talk about you and… well… about you and me." I babble.
"I want to tell you something first…" She mutters.
"What is it?" I ask.
My heart thumps against my chest.
"I want to apologize." She mutters "I shouldn't have run away just like that… I…"
I put my finger on her mouth. I don't want her to continue, it's not her fault after all…
"You don't have to apologize about anything…"
"Yeah, I should." She insists.
"Everything changed since that day..." She continues "I don't know… I… I feel like…"
"How do you feel?" I ask. My heart is beating like a drum.
"I don't know… I … I missed spending time with you..."
My heart races and I try to hold back a smile. She left me speechless.
"I should leave…" She mutters and stands up.
I stand up and softly hold her by her arm.
"Don't…" I lean close to her face and stare into her beautiful green eyes.
I smile and kiss her.
I don't care if she's not going to pick me over Gale. I'll try to enjoy the moment as long as I can. I hold her waist, pulling her closer to me in case she tries to run away.
I lean back and smile at her.
"I missed you too." I whisper as I caress her cheek.
She hugs me and I kiss her forehead.
I don't want to let her go… I want her to stay with me.
"Katniss, I think I need you…" I whisper against her head. I feel my heart struggling to jump out of my chest as I talk.
I do need her. She keeps me sane.
She's immersing on her own thoughts.
"Katniss… Is everything okay?" I ask.
"Yeah… I'm fine." She replies, still absentminded.
"What's wrong?" I ask.
"Nothing…" She replies faking a smile.
"Oh, Girl on Fire. You're the worst liar I've ever met." I grin.
"I… I need to think about all of this." She babbles and stares at her feet.
I sigh. I don't want this. I can't bear it. One moment she's with me, the next she's distracted. I have to let her go…
"Katniss, I don't want you to feel any pressure. I'll be okay if you don't want to be with me." I whisper "I won't make you do anything you don't want to…"
"I'm not doing anything I don't want to." She replies staring into my eyes.
"Great." I can't hold back my smile anymore.
She kisses me before leaving.
I lay in my bed.
What am I going to do?
Everything's completely messed up…
I can't just ask her to leave Gale just to be with me… And she wouldn't do that.
I sigh.
This is so confusing…
I still miss Annie, but she's gone and I can't do anything to change it. She'll always be in my heart and I'll always love her. But I need to move on.
I'll try to move on.
