Chapter 4 – Rope Courses

Spock woke to Khan and Nero arguing over who got the shower first. At first he pulled the pillow over his head in the hopes he'd fall back asleep, but after a few moments it became clear that that wouldn't happen. He sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily with one hand, using the other to search in his bag for his glasses. Finding them, he perched them on his nose and glared at the two boys, now three, as Olson had joined the argument.

He looked outside and grimaced. It was dawn and, checking his watch, it was five in the morning. Breakfast wasn't until seven. Figuring that he wouldn't get any peace, he quietly grabbed fresh clothes and his towel, stepping outside into the brisk morning air and heading for the cabin next door. He jumped up the stairs and pressed his ear to the door, smiling as he heard voice.

"Can I come in?" he asked, knocking. Bones opened the door and groaned.

"Fine, you can come in." He moved aside for Spock to enter.

"What's up?" Jim asked, his hair stuck up at the back and sheet lines on his face.

Spock shrugged. "They're all arguing. I was hoping I could use your shower."

Scotty raised his eyebrow. "Ye shower in tha mornin'? Ye lads are weird!"

"Some people do," Jim told him. He turned to Spock. "Sure you can. You're in our group anyway."

"Thank you." Spock nodded in gratitude and went to the bathroom, showering quickly before dressing in ironed black jeans, a blue button-up shirt and black boots. He towelled his hair dry quickly, combing it to its usual pristine state, slipped on his glasses and exited, feeling awake and refreshed. The others had dressed while he was in the shower and lounged comfortably on their beds, playing a card game.

"You can see yourself out," Bones said dismissively. "Good luck with Tweedledum and Tweedledee."

"Thank you." Spock left the cabin quickly, knowing that they didn't particularly like him, merely tolerated him. He sighed. At least their generosity had allowed him to avoid the rest of his cabin for fifteen minutes. They were quiet when he got back, sulking and staring at different walls. He dropped his clothes and towel on his bed and reached into his bag, grabbing the first book he touched and racing from the cabin. The sun was slowly coming over the forest surrounding them, bathing the area in a tentative orange light. Spock moved to the bridge that stretched over the pond in the middle of all the cabins and sat, dangling his legs over the edge. He pushed his glasses up his nose and opened the book to the first page, noting that it was the first of the Bartimaeus trilogy, a book he'd read many times.

As time ticked by there was more activity. A group of boys walked past cheerily, singing "I'm Slim Shady, yes I'm the real Shady" at the top of their lungs. That earned them a scolding from Richard Robau, who was passing by. Not long after that, Jim and Bones ran past with their hands full of leaves, undoubtedly up to mischief. More people appeared to wake and they ignored the solitary figure on the bridge. He was used to it.

His bubble was burst when his father, Sarek Grayson, sat next to him.

"Why are you out here alone?" Sarek asked quietly. "This is an opportunity for you to make friends, Spock. I don't want you to waste it."

"I find it difficult to relate with people I have nothing in common with," Spock replied, turning a page. "I am a geek and I will remain so."

Sarek sighed. "These are your peers for five more years. You can't spend all that time alone with your nose in a book."

He'd had a friend once, a girl named T'Pring. She was his first friend at age four and they made a promise to each other that they would always be friends and no one would come between them. Then a new boy arrived at kindergarten. His name was Stonn and he took a liking for T'Pring. She spent more time with him, ignoring Spock when he sought her attention. It broke his heart. They had made a pact to let no one come between their friendships. He knew how much that pact meant to her when he found her kissing Stonn at lunch one day.

Since then he'd never found another friend or anyone he could relate with. They were all disappointments in his eyes and he didn't want to be hurt like that again. He was only eleven.

"It's my choice, father. If it's any consolation, I was partnered with Nyota Uhura for canoeing and she was the one who sought partnership with me. This morning, Jim Kirk let me into his cabin to shower because my bunkmates were arguing."

"Well, it's a start. Breakfast's in ten minutes, by the way." Sarek patted his son on the shoulder and stood, clasping his hands behind his back and strolling off to find Amanda. Spock stared after him for a second before closing his book, tucking it under his arm and heading to the dining hall.

He reached the dining hall and joined the line for food, accepting a vegetarian omelette. Yes, he was vegetarian. Meat made him queasy. He looked at the other seated students, seeing Jim's blonde head among them. He started moving in that direction, butterflies in his stomach, but stopped. Courage faltering, he abruptly changed his path and sat at the end of a table, next to a loud group of boys. They ignored him and he opened his book again, burying his face in it while he ate breakfast.

After breakfast he ran to the cabin and brushed his teeth before Khan or Nero could come back, leaving with a water bottle just as the tall boy arrived (with a very sour look on his face). He went to the grassy expanse near the cabins, as that was where Pike had told them to meet. Most of his group was already there and he joined them, standing at the back of the group and attempting to fade into the background.

Pike and George joined them after a few minutes and made sure that all fourteen students were present.

"This morning we have the rope courses," Pike announced. "I'm glad to see you've brought water. We'll be there until lunch."

"Follow me!" George cried, grinning widely at his son. Jim went pink with embarrassment. They followed George along a bush trail until reaching the designated course. Spock swallowed nervously as he saw just how high up the course was – easily four metres off the ground with only two pieces of metal holding him up. His stomach was in his throat and he regretted eating such a big breakfast.

Pike stood in front of them sombrely. "Now, I have to show you how to put on a harness. There are some right behind you… yes, there. Take one and stand where you can see me and I'll go through how to put it on and all the safety rules…" He began to explain and the children faithfully followed his directions, even Khan and Nero – although they could be scared too. Once all the rules were explained he informed them of the game. "The group with the fastest average time of all its members will win, so you can't rely on just the athletic people."

"We have to rely on all of them," Jim whispered to Bones.

"Who wants to go first?"

Khan stepped forward importantly, accepting a safety helmet from George. He climbed the first ladder and attached a metal component to the doughnut on the front of his harness. Once secure, he breezed through the course with little difficulty in under six minutes, proving that he wasn't afraid of heights like Spock was.

As others began to attempt the course, Spock sat down awkwardly in his harness, feeling faint. Nyota reclined next to him, wearing a concerned expression. "You hate heights too, huh?"

"Yes," he said quietly. "I'm not very… confident with my feet off the ground."

Nyota grimaced. "I'm not brave either, but I'm going to try. I think you should too."

"Maybe…"

She stood and brushed the back of her jeans. "Think about it."

As she left and joined the rest of his standing team, Spock watched Ayel attempt the course. Ayel looked terrified; clinging to the ropes and trees like his life depended on it. The only thing that urged him on was taunts and threats by his brother, fear driving him instead of determination. Spock bit his lip and adjusted his glasses, shuffling his feet along the ground nervously.

Ayel did end up finishing the course in eight minutes, which was an average time. Scotty was next in line and went through slowly and methodically, which lessened his troubles. As a math genius, it wasn't hard for the red-head to calculate the best way to get through the course and follow through. He finished in seven minutes because he was so careful and direct, high-fiving Jim as he unclipped the metal component from his doughnut.

Jim turned to Spock. "Come on Spock! You go!"

At his words, Spock paled even more and shook his head. "I'd rather not, thank you. You should go."

"O-okay," Jim said slowly. He turned to Bones with a frown on his face. "What's his problem? It's just a rope course."

Bones hit his shoulder. "Some people are afraid of heights, idiot!"

"Oh…"

"Yeah, now get up there after Christine."

Christine actually did very well, forgetting about her usual shyness so she could have some fun. Nyota, Carol and Gaila cheered her on, and Spock noticed the way Bones' face softened when he watched her. Looks like someone had a crush…

"Finished!" she said excitedly, landing solidly on the ground. She was swamped by her friends and the girls giggled and whispered as they moved away so Jim could try the course. Spock didn't normally notice people, but he noticed just how precise Jim's movements were, almost reflecting Scotty's. It showed great skill at seeing and doing on Jim's part. Gaila giggled and cried out support for Jim, wringing her hands around her green jacket sleeves and blushing. That seemed to make Jim go faster as he attempted to impress the girls, but he faltered at one point because of it. He managed to keep his balance and took a few shaky steps to the end, finishing quickly and climbing down the ladder.

Spock stared at the course again. There was no way that he was strong enough to do this. Bones was next and he was strong, while Spock was only a weakling.

The others continued to attempt the course, stopping at one point for a morning tea that George brought down in an esky. They split off into little groups; Jim, Bones, Scotty and Keenser; Khan, Nero and Ayel; Nyota, Carol, Gaila and Christine; Hikaru and Pavel. Spock sat close behind Jim's small group, head down and nibbling quietly at his biscuit and fruit. He wished he wasn't so scared to talk to them and that he could be included in their conversations, but it wasn't like that. Life wasn't like the books and movies, he found. Nothing was ever that simple and his emotions betrayed his desires. He desired to be accepted, yet feared the process of gaining that acceptance. He hated being afraid, but there was nothing he planned on doing about it.

Jim sat beside him and Spock jumped. He hadn't noticed the boy coming. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay. I was a bit out of it."

Jim wrapped his arms around his knees, locking his hands together. "You look nervous. You wanna talk about it?"

"I don't like heights. That's it."

"Okay." Jim sighed. "Think about it. If you don't try, you'll feel ashamed and guilty because you're afraid. If you do, how will you feel?"

"I would feel angry and embarrassed because I made a fool of myself in front of everyone."

"Well… you won't know if you'll fail if you don't try."

"Everyone says that. They don't understand." Spock bit his lip.

"Hey, I understand. This," Jim gestured to himself, "confidence didn't come out of thin air. I had to work hard to gain it and build on my courage and self-esteem. If you do this and succeed, then you'll be on the road to getting that confidence."

"I'll fail. I know I will."

"Well of course you will if you talk like that!" Jim groaned. "I don't get you! You seem to be trying to fit in, yet you back off before you even try. Is failure what you're afraid of? Everyone fails at something. I failed at canoeing and I fail at teamwork. You… you don't even try."

"You don't even know me," Spock hissed, anger etched on his otherwise unblemished face.

"And I never will if you don't pull your socks up! I'm really disappointed. I thought I got a good team with brave, honest people. You're not brave, and you lie to yourself every day."

"That's enough!" Spock shouted, leaping to his feet with clenched fists. Blood rushed to his ears. Everyone stared in shock. "I'll do the course! I will! I'll show you!" He marched over to the ladder, clipping the metal onto his doughnut and beginning to climb without waiting for a helmet or for Pike to check his equipment.

His safety harness was secure enough. It had a belt tied securely around his waist, the doughnut attached to the front of that. Two leg loops were connected in the front of the hips, pulled tightly around his legs as his weight changed. His lower half was on fire as the harness tightened around his hips.

He reached the top of the ladder, stepped onto a platform and stared determinedly at the course in front of him. Gingerly, he stepped to the edge of the platform and brought a hand to either side of him, clutching the two ropes on his right and left. He turned his foot to the side and walked duck-footed along the rope, hands clutching the support ropes tightly. His face was blank with concentration; he would show Jim. He was not a liar!

Elation filled him as he reached the platform opposite and unclipped his doughnut, attaching it to the next part of the course. A strange look crossed his face as he reached out and grasped the dangling rope in front of him, putting all his strength into his arms as he leapt off the platform, holding onto the rope like Tarzan. He cautiously snaked one hand out and took the next rope, holding onto the first one with his legs before letting go and clutching tight onto the next rope. The rest of that section continued the same way, though Spock was painfully aware of just how slow he was going.

No matter. He was still doing the course and there was only one more part to go.

At the end of the Tarzan ropes he stepped shakily onto the platform and switched the support string around, tightening it securely on his doughnut. The next part had no upper-body support, relying completely on precise footsteps and balance. A horizontal ladder stretched tightly between this platform and the next one and it swayed ominously as Spock pressed a foot down. He took a deep breath and placed one foot on the first rung, stopping to get his bearings before putting the other foot down. For the first time he became aware of the cheers of his team. His focus waned as he listened to their shouts and he stumbled, crouching down and grabbing the rung so as not to lose his balance. He tuned out the noise, a slight ringing noise resounding in his ears, filling up his awareness.

Standing slowly, he held his arms out wide to help with balance and inched forward, aware of how the ladder wobbled slightly with each movement. He persevered, pride filling him for the first time in a long time. He was showing them. He was proving that he was more than a nerd.

Khan's voice penetrated the fog of silence. "You're gonna fail, like always," the tall boy sneered.

And like that, Spock's concentration was shattered and he tipped dangerously, scrabbling for the support line as he slipped off the surface. He freefell for a moment before the line slackened and he was swung from side-to-side two metres above the ground. Adrenaline coursed through his system and his face was as white as a sheet.

Nero sniggered. "Too bad nerd; for a second it looked like you were gonna make it."

"Shut it," Jim growled. "He was awesome, which is more than I can say for you."

While George moved in to break up the inevitable fight, Pike climbed up the ladder at the very end of the course and crossed the horizontal ladder, bending down and unclipping Spock's doughnut. Scotty and Bones stood underneath him and they caught his limp body before it hit the ground.

Spock looked at them numbly, humiliation twisting his stomach in knots. He couldn't believe he'd been distracted and failed so badly… he shouldn't have tried. And yet… he felt a strange satisfaction as well as the embarrassment. He had proven something. He had shown that he was not just a nerd; that he had confidence.

Bones set him down with the rest of the team and they were quick to let him know their admiration.

"That was pretty brave," Nyota said warmly.

"Da, you vere on fire," Pavel giggled.

"You were great," Hikaru finished.

"Thank you," he said, voice shaking. Someone pressed his water bottle in his hands and he drank deeply, the shaking subsiding with each gulp. A shadow crossed over him and he looked up at Jim. The standing boy smiled and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"Well," he said easily, "I guess you're not a liar anymore."

Spock smiled.